Casandra Valentine. Vision of beauty. Hair such a luscious green it would put emeralds to shame. Sexy dresses that could melt solid ice. Over a million followers on social media, and a family fortune worth quite a bit. And now…
“YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!”
She was reprising her role as a doormat, this time for a trendy store in the mall. Green hair splayed every which way behind her was one thing, but flattening her breasts into massive dinner plates, barely contained by her flattened dress, for the world to see?
This is miserable. It’s bad enough that security guard with the tree trunk...Yuki?...thought I was stealing when I was only walking around wearing $1000 in merchandise for my channel. Good thing after I drew my saber she fell to pieces and squished herself. But I don’t deserve getting this!!!
Moments ago, standing in front of the store entrance, Cassie was putting the finishing touches on her video, when some fool bumped into her. Whoever it was had pile upon piles of boxes, and most of them landed on Cassie’s head. Each one squished the green beauty another few inches towards the ground, giving her more and more ridiculously short stacked proportions with each box…
“OW! ECK! OOF! HEY! GAAAAAH!”
SQUOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
Until she was a massive pancake on the floor.
*Who the hell drops that many boxes?! I thought only sophisticated women like myself shopped that much at these establishments! Not these klutzes! I just wanted to get a post up to distract from last week’s “Cassie Milkshake” post and get back to my real followers. And then of course teach Allie and Phoebe a lesson for posting to my account...even if it got another thousand new followers from it...
Cassie focused on restoring her beautiful body. Uuggggh. OW! Hey!
“Hm? Oh dear, a talking carpet? That can’t be right. And that’s clearly wonderfully green if flattened hair.”
“Oh stop talking and help me out already! YOU squished me in the first place!”
At least that’s what Cassie tried to yell. The only noises she made were grunts and muffled shouting.
The woman sighed. “Let me help you up, green is my color after all. Hnnnnng...how squished did you get from a few boxes?!”
“WHAT DID YOU BUY THAT COULD DO THIS?!”
SHLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRP
Thus Cassie was spared from being the literal doormat of what WAS her favorite new store. Cassie felt her face stretching up, showing her stretched angry scowl to her fellow shoppers. The mystery woman pulled on her hair while the rest of her body stayed stubbornly stuck, making it just pale flesh and green eyes stretching 4 feet high until…
CREEEEEEEEEEEAK
POP
Cassie finally restored back to her normal shape. She dusted herself off before trying to casually rage. “Uuugh! You have no idea how many imbeciles might have walked right over me. Why I ought to-!”
Cassie looked over the newcomer. The woman had a wide green hat over long blond hair and gold hoop earrings, and a very stylish dress. The top was mostly two separate bands of cloth covering most her breasts, but exposing a...more than tasteful amount of flesh. Waist down she wore a long darker green shirt down to her ankles, with a single cut in the side for movement. Overall, her mystery assailant looked more bemused than concerned, and that made Cassie pause.
“I’m Gloria Verde. I must apologize again for squishing such a beautiful woman. Please, let me buy you something. You’ve clearly been through a lot today. Here, let me help with your hair.”
Cassie went from seething rage to...appreciating Gloria offering her a hair brush? “Hmmph.” Cassie accepted the brush with a swipe, but she was still in a fowl mood. “Thank you. Cassandra Valentine. I don’t need charity, though I suppose as penance-”
“THE Casandra Valentine? Oh now I must buy you something. Why just last week I saw-”
Cassie’s face turned red and grew to twice it’s normal size, shouting with pointed teeth. “IF YOU MENTION THE SHAMROCK MILKSHAKE VIDEO I SWEAR-”
“No no no love, the fashion show last weekend. My car company Verdes was a sponsor. You looked great! My people were in touch with you about selling pinup posters.”
Cassie’s rage evaporated. “Oh...well then…”
“Here, let’s find you something that will look even MORE fabulous in a convertible.”
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, Gloria and Cassie were walking around pulling an actual palette of boxes of clothes behind them, while discussing two more boxes in their hands.
“I tell you Cassie, the keyhole cut is in! Just look at mine, it’s fabulous, and that black dress with its red highlights would go great with your hair!”
“Oh I need to keep something to tease my fans. Besides, they get enough of a view when I get flattened. Grrr...It’s great for follower count but little else!”
Gloria spun a lock of blond hair around her finger. “Oh I don’t know. With the proper application it can really squeeze the knots out of your back.”
Cassie stopped in her tracks. “Oh don’t tell me you’re one of those weirdos that enjoys it too!”
Gloria rolled her eyes. “Get with the times Valentine. When it’s not klutzy me and too many boxes, you could stand to let yourself go now and again.”
Cassie started muttering under her breath, trying to find a response.
“It’s okay.” Gloria put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not for everyone. But hey, what about that other red and blue dress? I mean the princess ball gown look is overdone, but the colors looked great on you.”
Cassie shook her head. “No no no. Candy apple red is infuriating, too many bad memories because…”
At that moment, Cassie spotted her flatmates, Ally and Phoebe, walking along the mall’s lower level. “THERE!”
Gloria raised an eyebrow and followed Cassie’s glare. “Oh, those two? I mean the red one’s very plain but the blond-”
“No...uh, hey, Gloria…” Cassie’s mind was racing. I need to get her to be my distraction somehow!
“I have to use the little girls room, but could you go say hi to them for me? Don’t tell them I’m here yet, I wanted to...surprise them! Yes, surprise them.”
Gloria raised an eyebrow. She even lifted her hat to get a better look at Cassie. “Uh...sure? I can go say hi and stall for time I guess.”
Cassie spun Gloria around and pushed her towards a nearby down escalator. “Okay thanks just keep your distance okay? The red head Allie is getting over the flu and the blond Phoebe is...uh...super clumsy.”
Technically, I’m not lying about Phoebe.
Gloria separated herself from Cassie, “Okay okay! Allie and Phoebe, got it.”
“Go!” Cassie gave Gloria one last shove, sending her tumbling down the escalator.
“WAAAAAAAAH!”
SPLAAAAAAAAT
Cassie for once in her life looked surprise she flattened someone. “I...I’m going to get that surprise and...ooo when did a music store open here?”
* * *
On the side of the glass elevator below, Gloria got squished into a rather wide pancake. She was an inch thick, her already large breasts were oozing out the sides of her tiny flattened dress, and whoever was in the elevator was probably getting a good view of her plump butt.
Uuuugh...I suppose I deserved that. But how am I supposed to catch her flatmates now?
“Wait Phoebe! Someone just had an accident. I gotta get this.”
ZAP
Gloria felt her body pulse, expanding gradually and forcing itself off the wall. She stretch wide, then far too tall, then-*POP* she was back on her two feet again.
“Whoa...I haven’t felt something like that since the last time the league called us in for a legends event...”
“Yup! I started selling them these a few years ago. Or whenever DD started writing, it’s been too long. Try to stay three dimensional now, okay?”
Gloria stopped seeing stars in time to remember the plan. “Oh, right...you’re Ally, right?”
Allison paused at that. “Yes. Allison Ables. I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure?”
Gloria took off her hat to fix it. “Gloria. And I believe your friend is Phoebe? My friend-…”
Oh right, I can’t mention Cassie’s involved...
“...mentioned you made those delightful gadgets. Thanks again! Um...for restoring me I should help get you and your friend something. Ooooh! That cat charm she’s wearing is delightful!”
Phoebe squeed, jumping into the air. “Oh it’s so cute right! They sell them at a cart over there and it uses REAL SILVER and…”
Gloria tried to discreetly put her hat on without face palming too hard. Judging from the red head’s reaction, she also knows “uses silver” means like 5%. Cassie please tell me you didn’t send me on a wild goose chase.
CRASH
Gloria opened her fingers enough to get a look at what was happening. What is that shadow?...
* * *
BA-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHM
“YES! Got ‘em! I need to get down there…”
Cassie saw the smoke poof up from the piano below, then hurried down. She accidentally caught Gloria with the end of the piano, so her hands and the end of her hat were visible...right next to Allison’s restoration beam!
“Oooo, I’ll be taking this!” She bent over and put both hands on the smashed piano, shoving it aside. Underneath was a giant blue rectangle with Phoebe’s head stamped on top, stuck with her tongue out in a goofy expression and tiny winged cats dancing in circles over her head. Ally was in her usual palms up cheek stretched out and breasts saucered pancake pose, red eyes tracking Cassie as she moved around. Gloria was face down near her, her giant flat breasts visible from underneath her, but Cassie for the first time notices just how big Gloria’s hips were, doubling in size under the weight.
“Well, first I’m restoring you. I told you to keep your distance.”
Cassie grabbed the restoration beam, and...*ZAP*
Again an invisible force peeled flat Gloria into the air. Parts of her reinflated one at a time, until the business woman was again standing on her own two feet.
Gloria looked around again to take in the situation. “Oh Cassie! Your friends...I see you found Ally’s trinket. Do you need help with them or…”
Cassie grabbed the restoration beam and smashed it under foot. “Oh you did wonderfully! We won’t be needing this. I just need a moment with Phoebe here…”
SHLLLLLLLRP
“AYEEE!”
Cassie peeled Phoebe off the ground, stretching the poor girl’s blue taffy like body until it snapped up into her hands. She gently shook out Phoebe, just enough to get the folds out, but not enough to restore her.
Then she walked over to the down escalator and dropped Phoebe in. “Whoops!”
EYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
“WAAAAAAAAAH!!!”
Phoebe’s body bunched up and got mushed into a blue and blond mess. She was slowly sucked in, her fabric like body practically draining in as the escalator pulverized her into mush. Seconds later, the stairs coming down were coated in a light blue Phoebe face, with a copy of her eyes blinking in front of every step.
“Ouchiiiiies…..” moaned the staircase of Phoebe.
Which to Cassie was utterly hilarious. “HAH! That’ll teach ya to laugh about people laughing at me!”
BOING
“Come on Cassie, she means well and you know it. Stop the escalator and let her out!”
Cassie turned to see Allison the red accordion, her angry face painted on the top. “Oh puh-LEASE Allison. How are you going to stop me? Play dissonant chords until I shatter?”
Ally scowled. “You know that only worked that one time because I had amps set up, and if I could do it now, you’d already be emerald shards on the floor.”
Cassie ducked to look Allison in the eyes. “Then why shouldn’t I just squish completely and be done with this?!”
Ally bobbed back and forth, still stuck in her accordion shape. “Because you know I’ll just get you ba-AAACK???”
Cassie took a step back, not believing what she was seeing. “G-G-Gloria?! What are you doing?”
SQUISH
“MMMPH!”
Gloria picked Allison up, and smooshed the red accordion into a thick red disk. “Cassandra? Baby? If I’ve learned anything in this world…”
She hurled Ally like a frisbee at the up escalator, slamming her into the teeth at the top with expert precision.
“You don’t play with your food.”
“AYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
SQUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
Ally exploded into light red goop on impact. The force accelerated the escalator briefly, spinning it around at high speeds and sucking Ally in, until the up steps were just as covered with Allison red as the others were with Phoebe blue.
The goop covering both steps groaned in unison. “Uuuugh...I wanna go home...”
Cassie, cautiously optimistic, looked back and forth from her gooped up flatmates and her new friend Gloria. “What...you didn’t need to...I mean...Uh…”
Gloria still looked deadly serious. “Trust me love, I’ve been through enough of these cat and mouse transformation games to know, one DOES NOT hesitate unless they want to be unrecognizable green stain on the ground.”
Cassie blinked. “Wait...you’re helping me?”
Gloria’s expression immediately changed to the smile of an old friend. “But why DIDN’T you tell me we were doing a revenge bit today! Oh this takes me back! So many memories with the girls, you’re going to make me cry from nostalgia. Oh, but next time?”
BOP
BWOOMP!
Cassie felt Gloria’s fist come down on her head, burying it into her chest and making her boobs expand out another 4 sizes.
“Warn me about the pianos. But oh stories, why this one time…”
Cassie felt Gloria take her elbow and start walking. She felt her chest shaking whenever she tried to talk. She was beginning to regret smashing the restoration beam.
* * *
Eventually Gloria did help return Cassie’s head to normal. It turned out she was full of interesting stories too.
She sipped her coffee, finishing at least her 5th story. “So after she insulted my dune buggy design for our capstone project, I put her in the hydraulic press AGAIN! I tell you Cassie you need to get one of those, your Allison would look great splattering into red goop in a tube.”
Normally I’d hate to hear a fans endless mess of miserable stories, but these are...fun?
Cassie laughed and went along with the story telling. “Oh that’s fine. There was one time I trapped her in a glass tube surrounded by flame throwers. In her own lab too!”
Gloria laughed and slapped Cassie on the back. Surprisingly hard. “Oh that’s PRECIOUS! What did you do with her?”
Cassie frowned. “Nothing. Her lab’s too complicated and she sucked herself out into a mold of herself. But it was fun for a moment.”
“A mold? She built one fast enough to save her from you?”
Cassie thought, I know from painful experience it turns goop into Ally’s figure in no time.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Gloria giggled. “Well now. Next time you see one of your rivals, you just let me know. I still need to buy you an outfit, but nobody said we couldn’t have a little fun while we’re at it.”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “Oh I don’t hate everyone. Just Ally, Phoebe, Zoe, Jill, Jesse, Trinity…”
Gloria laughed. “Oh come on, you can’t hate EVERYONE. You have to let bygones be…”
Cassie blinked, listening to Gloria’s thus far uncharacteristic pause. “Well, come on, you can finish the sentence, ri---ght?”
Now Cassie was pausing, seeing Gloria’s eyes twitch while staring the big revolving glass door exiting the mall.
And Gloria clenching her fists. “Emi…”
Cassie looked back and forth between them. “Emi and Grace? The goth chick and the baker? I mean they’re easy to mess with, but are they worth the time?”
“ANYONE that SHE knows is worth my time.” Gloria’s face was turning red with rage. “Tell ya what. I distracted your nemesis a moment ago? Can you distract them in those revolving doors when they walk in? Do something to make them double back into them.”
Cassie nodded. “Of course, anything for a friend. Just one thing.”
Gloria’s head turned slowly, clicking as if on old clockwork. “What?!”
“Tell me what they did to earn your ire.” Cassie smiled, and they both went to work.
I’m not sure what Gloria’s planning, but she does appear to be a professional. Emi and Grace will recognize me, but that’s okay. I only need to say hello and they’ll at least be suspicious. I’ll just wait behind this pillar.
She waited until she could hear their voices. Then she popped out a foot in front of them, intentionally trying to raise suspicion.
“Oh hiiiiiii! Emi right? And Grace! How delightful to see you. How’s the bakery business?”
Emi instinctively took a step back, adopting a fighting stance. Grace looked concerned but stood relaxed for now. “Hello Cassie. What do you have for us today? You know I don’t need any green food coloring at the moment, St. Patty’s Day is a ways away.”
“WHAT?! THAT’S NOT-” Cassie caught herself raging, and stopped to breathe. “Grace, my dear, I only wanted to say hello. I do need that morning coffee.”
“You haven’t stopped in the shop since Halloween.”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “And I’d come back more if you kept the pumpkin spice. I’m just inviting you to come to-”
Emi grabbed Grace’s arm at ‘inviting.’ “Let’s go Grace. I don’t care what her scheme is, we can come back later.”
Grace’s expression hadn’t changed, but she didn’t question Emi. “As you wish. I’ll come back to get that new standing mixer later. I can try the new Obliterator model later…”
As soon as they turned Cassie pumped her fists and smiled. Yes! Just as I planned! The fools took the bait and-...oh drat
Grace turned around, looking right at Cassie’s celebration. “See Emi? She seems much too happy we’re leaving. I’d almost guess she wanted us to leave.”
Cassie looked around like a kid caught stealing candy. “What? No. I hate to see you go. I had such a surprise ready for you and-”
Grace shook her head. “Cassie you’re a terrible liar. Now I see why you never come over with Ally to TF Poker night. Come on Emi, she’s bluffing.”
They started walking back into the mall. Cassie looked panicked. No no no no no! I need to….uh…Oh this better be worth it.
“YYYYYYAH!”
“Cassie what are you-?!”
TACKLE
With a lunge and a shove, Cassie pushed the couple back into the automatic revolving doors. Emi tumbled back and landed on her butt against part of the door, while Grace stayed on her feet. Cassie herself ended up face down on the floor from the effort.
“There. Just wait here until-OOOF!”
SQUIIIISH
“EYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
Grace was quick on the draw, pulling a massive rolling pin out of her hair. Cassie’s body spread into smooth green dough on the ground under the expert baker’s force, quickly becoming a big green rectangle.
Grace had a wild look in her eyes, focused on flattening Cassie into nothing. “Come on Cassie, this is sloppy, even for you. No rapier? No mallet? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!”
SQUISHSQUISH*
BZZZZZZZZTTTT
There was a strange electrical noise, making Emi and Grace look around for the source. A speaker with feedback echoed around them, and Gloria’s voice came through. “So nice of you to visit, TINKERERS. I hope you don’t mind going for a SPIN!”
Emi and Grace exchanged a confused glance. “Who the heck is that?”
Rather than answer, the electricity pulse sounded again, and the doors started spinning.
Fast.
WHRRRRRRRRRRRR
“EYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”
The doors spun faster and faster. Emi and Grace were both slammed face first against one of the glass panels, flattened and spreading against it from the force. The faster the door went, the more their bodies spread against the glass, losing cohesion, colors bleeding into one another as their bodies liquefied. After about 30 seconds, it was clear neither one was solid anymore, the g-forces reducing both to splatters of wet paint.
And in a delightfully ironic twist, Cassie was already squished so flat, the door passed harmlessly over her.
After a minute, Gloria emerged from a utility room nearby. “Looks like I still know how to wire one of these. Time to see if the baker and her assistant are done.”
Gloria threw a switch, and the door’s spinning slowed. It stopped 5 seconds later, with very abstract paintings of Emi and Grace’s dizzy faces staring through the glass.
“Oooooooooooh…”
“I want to go again Grace…When can we go...a….”
Their energy spent, both goop paintings cascaded down the wall, collecting in featureless puddles of black and red.
Gloria was positively giddy. “YES! Oh you FOOLS! Just waltzing in here and sharing the same air as me and thinking you could-”
“MMMMPH! MMMPH!!!”
Gloria blinked, snapped out of her monologue by the muffled sounds of Cassie’s voice from the floor. “Hmm? Oh right, you did take one for the team there. Uuuuh…”
Gloria tip toed around the puddle of Emi and Grace to find one of Cassie’s corners. She peeled it up, sending a wave of Emi goop rolling across the floor, but after much creaking and splashing-
SNAP!
She got a huge green sheet of Cassie into her hands. She walked it out of the door, gave it one good shake…
POP
Cassie was stumbling, but back on her restored two feet. “Got...em...Ugh. I think…”
Cassie tilted her head and gave the side a few smacks. Globs of Emi fell out of the other side.
“Uuuugh...I hate it when that happens.”
Gloria give Cassie a massive hug, making Cassie’s eyes bulge out. “THANK you love! Now I owe you a drink as well as a dress. And an explanation. But first...”
Gloria released Cassie and took off her hat, and pulled out two buckets. “I’m not finished with these two.”
She walked into the doors to collect the two gooped girls in buckets, leaving Cassie to figure out how to un-inflate her head after the hug.
* * *
A minute later, they were carrying their buckets towards a unique toy store. It was known for its toy molds, and it was conveniently located near the mall’s main fountain. Currently there was nobody nearby, though the water was flowing...at least until Gloria poured her bucket of Grace goop into it.
“It’s nothing too personal with them, they’re just friends with a friend of another former friend that...well Cassie I’m sure you know what I mean when I say I’m better than them.”
Cassie laughed. “All too well. I can’t question you being better than any friend of these two.”
Gloria nodded and smacked the top of the bucket, making sure the last of Grace fell out. “Well, yeah, I just need to make sure they know who is who.”
“Oh you.” Cassie laughed. “But really, why pour her into the water? Won’t she just restore into a waterlogged version of herself that can easily squish us?”
Gloria wagged a finger. “Always do your research. The baker here is too full of sugar. Just a little mixing from the fountain and…”
The water turned red and shimmered. The flowing out the top slowed. Grace’s disoriented eyes popped out the top, still spinning, as the flow slowed towards a stop, and the water locked her face on the top.
GLOOOP
Gloria waved an open hand when the flow stopped. “Voila. Jello d’Chef!”
Cassie’s jaw dropped to the floor. “THAT WORKED?!”
Gloria not only lifted Cassie’s jaw, she handed her a spoon. “Here, give her a try. She tastes SUPER sweet.”
Cassie hesitated, but did dig in. “Mmmm….she IS sweet! Is that red velvet?”
Gloria gave a nod and a bow. “I’m surprised it doesn’t happen to her more. Now...what were you planning to do with her friend?”
Cassie turned to the toy store. “You did say you’re a car person. Want to go for a ride?”
She strolled into the store, Gloria curiously following after. “I want to trust you Cassie, but a car from here? What do they….Oh they have one of these?!”
They stopped in front of the toy car molding system. Cassie started pushing buttons at the console, then held up the Emi bucket. “She’s not much, but the mall’s speed limit is rather low. She’ll make a convertible at least.”
Gloria watched the black goop with Emi’s eyes pour out into the car mold machine. It shook as it worked, making several BOOM blowout noises, before a final gust of steam, and Emi rolled out the exit.
She was molded into two seater toy convertible. Mostly black with neon pink fish-net markings across the hood, though her eyes were in the headlights.
Cassie hopped into the driver’s seat. “Well? Shall we go touring in the mall?”
“Of course!” Gloria hopped in, settling her dress down before excitedly looking at the controls. “Do these actually work? Did they give her a radio?”
CLICK
“RESTORE ME AND GRACE RIGHT NOW YOU IDIOTS OR I SWEAR AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS I’LL-”
CLICK
Cassie quickly turned off the radio. “Nothing good on the radio these days. Come on.”
VROOOOOOOOOOM
* * *
Cassie drove them around the mall for a while, regaling Gloria with her war stories with Allison. “All I did was open the temple door! It’s not my fault Phoebe couldn’t stay in one piece while getting crushed by the gears. But together we disabled the trap with the power of friendship, and all I got for it from Allison was getting painted on Phoebe’s wall!”
Gloria laughed, holder her arms up and letting her hair fly in the wind in the Emi convertible. “Classic. Though I suspect there’s a few more things you’re forgetting in between.”
Cassie coyly put a hand on her lips. “I swear I’m only leaving out incriminating details.”
“HAHAHAHA!” The pair shared a laugh.
“Did you want a turn behind the wheel Gloria?”
“No no no, I can tell from here she handles like trash. Can we drive her under the elevator? Or is there some better compactor?”
Moments later, they had Emi parked under the elevator, waiting for the inevitable. “So Emi, any last words?”
HOOOOOOOOOOONK
SQUIIIIIIIIIIIISH
Cassie laughed, watching the elevator car come down. It wasn’t quite the same watching a car get smashed to one in thick as it was watching their more feminine forms get flattened, but there was no doubt it was still satisfying.
“Oh Gloria, wasn’t that GREAT?….Gloria?”
Gloria’s gaze wasn’t on the squished remains of Emi sticking out from under the elevator. She was fixated on the fashionable blond inside. So fixated Gloria’s face was turning red with rage. Steam shot out of her ears. Her hat and her hair wobbled in the air over her head, and she clenched her fists.
“LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNN-BLARGBLEBL!!!”
Cassie leaned away slightly grossed out, as Gloria was consumed by rage. Once she turned completely red, Gloria deflated from the steam flying out her ears, but also melted from overhearing as her hollow deflated form pooled in a bubbling mess on the tiles below.
“Uuuuh….Gloria? Should I...get an iced coffee or something? Maybe some whipped cream?”
The green goop next to her boiled even more violently.
“I’ll...I’ll get you a bucket.”
* * *
Cassie put her milkshakes down on the table. She got an extra large straw, and put one end into the puddle of Gloria. The straw pulsed with Gloria drinking, each drop making it into her growing her form in bursts, emerging from a puddle of green goop into her very shapely figure, until with a splash of green she resumed her normal form and pushed the bucket aside.
“Whew...thanks. I just...LYYYYYNN!”
She started turning red again, and her hair sparked like a bomb’s fuse. Cassie quickly splashed cold water onto her to avoid a second meltdown...or worse. “Okay Gloria, You’re going to have to explain this because I can’t have you turning into a bomb in front of me. My hair doesn’t take well to disintegrating.”
Gloria frowned. She took off her hat, wrung it out, and sighed. “You ever had that one person, that no matter what you do, everyone thinks they’re better? And no matter how many times you squish them, how many times they explode to pieces, burn to ash, or grind them to dust...they just keep popping up in your way?”
Cassie leaned on the table to get closer. “Or put their gooey remains to good use, some buffoon comes in and says ‘Oh no Cassie there’s a nicer way!’”
“Exactly!” Gloria pounded a fist on the table. “That’s Lynn. She got to be on the good team. She always gets squished, but somehow she stopped STAYING squished. So she got the glory, and I got flattened endlessly. And now she’s HERE!”
Gloria paused a moment before having more milkshake. Her body audibly cooled down from the drink with a steamy hiss. “I’m sorry Cassie, your dress will have to wait. I can’t share the same mall as Lynn. I have to take care of this first.”
“Actually…” Cassie tapped her fingers together like the super villain she was. “Maybe we can do both.”
* * *
The Emerald Duo tailed Lynn to a clothing store. Each donned a pair of Groucho Glasses, and stalked her from the corners of the store.
Cassie whispered to make sure they didn’t draw Lynn’s attention. “Oh this is perfect! I’ve been here before. They have a machine to stitch your friends into a dress for a fun evening. I got Allison in here on a bet once, she was the best red dress I ever had.”
“Wait, the woman you just threw into an escalator…?”
“It’s a long story, and do NOT tell her I said that. Look, if we can get her near the back, I can hold her down. Then we just need to speed through the settings and hope it defaults to something good.”
Gloria sighed. “How fast is it though? Lynn can restore herself fairly quickly.”
Cassie started talking back a little louder. “I don’t know! It works fast but we still have to pick the color scheme and the size … oh please don’t judge me by my dress size when we put it in.”
Gloria argued back a little louder still. “Oh please every store is different anyway! Just tell me how this machine works so we can-”
“Gloria! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!”
Both women in green froze, the poor disguises falling off their faces. Gloria put on her best smile – to anyone else, it would not be very convincing. “Lyyyyynn fancy seeing you here.”
“Oh and you brought a friend!” Lynn leaned close to Cassie’s ear, “LOVE the outfit! Hash tag jealous!”
Cassie smiled nervously. “She’s got good taste? I guess?”
Lynn clapped her hands together. “Oh but you HAVE to see what they have in the back here. It’s the Threadinator 9000! Takes any block of fabric and reconstructs it into an outfit in seconds. I tried it once and ended up with this!”
She held up a glimmering red ball gown with a deep low cut and white stripes on the top. Both women took a moment to admire it, including Cassie turning around to make sure the escalator was still coated with Allison (it was).
Lynn grabbed them both and rushed to the back, leaving both women with stretched out necks to look at each other hopelessly before snapping back to the rest of theirselves.
“So, you just throw in a bolt of fabric here, maybe some dye there, and then you pick…”
The pair was content to let Lynn continue monologuing, though Cassie did soon tap Gloria’s shoulder. “How long are we going to let her talk?”
Gloria looked around, half listening to Lynn. “Just enough to know this will work…”
SHOVE
“EEEEP!”
Lynn tumbled onto the machine’s surface. It went to work on the busty brunette, grabbing at a hair and a thread of her blouse and a show. The machine unraveled her thread by thread, pulling her fleshy bits and face apart.
Lynn was shocked at first, but soon…
“Oooo this feeling takes me back. Sure I can’t feel my legs right now but any second I’m gonna rip apar-EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Cassie gaped, weirded out.
Gloria pushed some more buttons, focused on her mission.
Lynn? Her eyes rolled back, just before her face tumbled apart. “Oh I forgot how good this feels. I hope you made me something cool like a trench coat…”
Cassie looked into the window, trying to recover. “Why is everyone always into this?! It’s so hard to get revenge when they enjoy it.” She tapped the glass twice. “That does look like a cool overcoat though.”
“She’s supposed to be a sun dress.” Gloria turned a knob. That brought out the sound of fabric tearing and Lynn moaning as the machine changed styles.
“She’s not wrong you know.” Gloria added without looking up. “Getting turned into dresses isn’t my thing, but you really need to come with the spa with me one day. Guaranteed to melt the knots away or your money back.”
Cassie could only picture bubbling green paint in Ally’s lab. “HARD pass friend. But let me try on that dress...”
* * *
Ten minutes later, Gloria stood outside the doors of the dressing room. “You okay in there Cassie? Lynn’s now that hard to fit into.”
“No, but she’s almost TOO stretchy!” Cassie shouted from inside.
Gloria checked her diamond watch. “Well hurry up! We don’t want to be here all day. We should get out of here and do something really-”
“Hello Gloria.”
“Who the heck-” Gloria spun around, but stopped. For once, her survival instincts won over her rage. “Oh...hello Brook. What brings you here?”
“Oh, you know. Meeting my mom. She’s not where she said she’d be, and you’re around. You haven’t done anything to her that she’d like, have you?”
Gloria had to cough to cover up the laugh. Oh she’s not wrong...
Realizing that would not look good she quickly put her hands up in a shrug. “Can’t say I’ve seen her. You know Lynn, she could be anywhere. Maybe she decided to model as the cardboard stand outside some cheap place or-”
Brook was just starting to look something between flustered and annoyed, when Cassie walked out. Wearing a sundress that was clearly bands of Lynn’s colors.
“Well, what do you think of me? I think your Lynn clashes a bit with my hair but...oh, it’s you.”
Brook sighed, took a deep breath, and cracked her knuckles.
Gloria cowered between them, Oh crap oh crap Brook’s mad! She restores too fast, I can’t outrun her if she’s on to me!
Brook continued by cracking her neck. “Okay Cassie. I don’t know what she did to put you up to this, but you have about 5 seconds to give me my mom back.”
“You mo-...OH!” Cassie pinched the front of her shirt to mock hold it up. “You’re Lynn’s...oooooh. Well she seemed to enjoy becoming a dress well enough, why should I give her back? Maybe she’s having fun. Maybe she’s-”
SLAM
SQUIIIIIIIIIISH
Brook’s arm spun in a flash, pounding Gloria to the ground HARD. Layers of teal skirt folded into each other as Gloria’s body collapsed into a five foot flapjack on the floor. Her body bounced up a bit before fluttering down in her inch thick floppiness, struck down so fast that her hat was actually still floating down from above to cover her stunned face.
“Five…”
Cassie took a step back, terrified and scandalized. “Brook, I need to get changed! I can’t just strip here and-”
“Cassie I’ve seen your socials with you wearing basically nothing at the pool last summer. I’ve practically seen you naked already. Four…”
Cassie scrambled back into the dressing room. “Okay okay just give me a minute!”
Brook rolled her eyes, but didn’t follow Cassie in. “Fine, just hurry up!” She kept herself busy by picking up Gloria’s flattened form and rolling her up for easy transporting.
Soon enough, Cassie emerged in her normal outfit, with Lynn on a hanger. “Here. Just...take her and let’s forget this ever happened.”
She tried to walk past Brook, but was grabbed by the back of her denim jacket. “Eep! Come on, I gave her back! You have to let me go!”
Brook cracked her knuckles once again. “Cassie, that was just so I wouldn’t have to peel her off your squished remains. Now I don’t need to goop you in a centrifuge just to separate you. That’s polite right?”
“Meep!”
SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH
Before Cassie could run, Brook squished Cassie down into a ball, and hurled her across the room. She bounced around before landing perfectly in the dress machine. The last Brook saw of her was an explosion of green threads rising into the air.
Cassie’s voice echoed, “But I’m Cassandra...Valentine!...”
* * *
Brook put the second mannequin outside the store. Both wore fabulous green dresses, one bright emerald green with red highlights, the other a darker green short skirted outfit with a hat.
“There...that’ll teach ‘em. You okay mom?”
Lynn, still transformed into a dress, opened her eyes on the front fabric and started gushing. “Oh they look great Brook. Good job! I’m glad they’re having fun like this too!”
“Mom, I don-” Brook paused and sighed. How does she STILL not realize Gloria wants to tear her to literal shreds?
“You’re right mom. They are having fun. Can you snap out of that transformation yet or do I need to take you to the cleaners?”
“The cleaners?!” The Lynn fabric bounced with joy. “Oh I’d LOVE a turn in the press! A good steaming ought to melt all my stiffness away then I can get myself back together for dinner. That’s too much fun to pass up, don’t worry about the bill I’ll handle it.”
“As you wish mother. Now, did they get anyone else I need to clean up or…”
Brook took a look around the mall, for the first time noticing the chaos. “Oh no...They’re cleaning up a ton of blue and red goop in the escalator...I think that’s Grace stuck as jello in the fountain, at least she’s used to that. Who’s in the elevator? Is that an Emi robot? Aw geeze.”
She got out her phone…“Ally...Ally...Grace said if there was a public transformation catastrophe to call her friend Ally’s restoration hotline…”
There was no answer.
“Damnit Ally pick up!”
“Hey!” One of the workers at the escalator shouted in the background to their friend. “Why is ‘dis goop ringin’ like a phone?”
Brook’s jaw briefly fell to the floor. “Wait THAT’S Ally? Oh to hell with this. Mom, I’m calling ahead for a steam press for two. They can’t blame me for not dealing with this if I’m a puddle.”
“YAAAAAY Bonding tiiiiiime.”