Marcel's Manic Monday (commission)

She-Hulk landed on one knee after her jump attack, slamming her massive fists against the mat, rattling the entire arena.

*WHAM*

Marcel, newest star of the Ultra-Pro Wrestling League, skillfully dodged to the side. Despite being much smaller, and significantly weaker, than his opponent, the male wrestler with the slender figure was holding his own.

He pointed dramatically at the sexy green giant. "Hah! You're too slow She-Hulk! Maybe if you focused on speed instead of brute strength, you'd be able to lay even a finger on me!"

She-Hulk slowly stood, her fists returning to a normal size. "You may be fast, but you still don't stand a chance."

Marcel watched She-Hulk's foot work. He learned from a young age that following a fighter's footwork could reveal their plan, and She-Hulk had been telegraphing her every move all night. *If only the other fools here bothered to look, she would be the loser I know she is in the ring! Now, I can't let my guard down...*

The green woman's ankle turned.
Marcel's legs tensed.

*SLAM*

She-Hulk's heel crashed down, axe kicking the mat where Marcel stood a moment ago.

*WHOOSH*

Marcel tumbled backwards, easily anticipating the green one's uppercut.

*CLAP*

She-Hulk dared trying to clap Marcel flat through raw strength, but when she opened her hands, she saw nothing.

Marcel had jumped back into the ropes, stretching them back. "FOOL! Now to punish your foolish maneuver!"

She-Hulk looked up, eyes wide with terror. "No! I can't escape!"

Marcel bounced off the ropes at high speed, flying straight at the green fighter's exposed opening.

He drove his flying kick squarely into She-Hulks gut.

*DINK*
*SQUISH*

Unfortunately, she really did have abs of steel. Marcel's legs crumpled. He felt everything from his butt and crotch on down awkwardly squish together, his entire lower half reduced to a floppy circle of flat man stuck to She-Hulk's stomach.

She-Hulk sighed and shook her head. "I tried to make it interesting. But there's no helping this."

She casually brushed Marcel off her body. The weak rookie's disked legs clattered on the ground, whirling like a coin before settling like a board game piece.

He looked up at her, raging with frustration. "HOW?! There's just no way! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

He leaned over, windmilling his arms to attempt to pummel She-Hulk's thighs. She calmly reached down, tilting him back to his normal position while his fists harmlessly bounced off her.

"My dear Marcel, I admit you have promise, but everyone here is tired of your false swagger."

Marcel stopped his assault to glare at her. "The people here love me!"

She-Hulk looked around at the audience. "Oh, not them, the reader-...never mind. Point is you're going squish now and I expect you to honor our bet."

She turned and took a few steps back, setting up her finisher.

Marcel hopped towards her, like an animated chess pawn, still annoyed. "Get back here! You haven't won yet!"

She-Hulk turned dramatically, making her dark green hair swing through the air. "Haven't I though?"

She-Hulk ran three steps forward, then jumped high in the air over Marcel.

Despite his hopeless situation, Marcel continued challenging her. "Come back here you green freak! When you get back here I'll flatten you so hard you'll-OOOOOOOOOOF"

*SQUIIIIIIIIIIIIISH*

Marcel's body collapsed into itself like jello under the power of She-Hulk's elbow drop. His vision split from her elbow driving his head down, almost splooshing it in half. His shoulders and waist followed, accordioning together like a cheap layer cake around the green arm, before all of him slammed down, spreading several meters wide. He hit the mat so hard his body lost some cohesion, bits of Marcel colored ink splashing away from him.

*DING*DING*DING*

The pink haired announcer rang the bell. "That's it everyone! Marcel is splattered on canvas! Looks like another win for our reigning champion, SHEEEEEEEEEEE-HUUUUUUUULK!!!"

She-Hulk posed for the crowd, lifting her arms together to cheers and applause. She even took a deep breath to "Hulk Out" (which she would acknowledge is a weird statement), bulging with extra huge muscles for a few seconds, before returning her attention to the stain on the mat beneath her.

"Ready to admit you lost yet Marcel?"

The flattened man spat a gooey piece of himself out of his mouth. "*Pttt!* Never! I'll just work harder and get you next time."

She-Hulk rolled her eyes and reached down.

*SSSSSHHHHHHHHHLRRRRRRRRP*

She peeled Marcel off the mat with a loud wet noise. "That's what I like about you. Never giving up in the face of adversity. That said, I expect to see you at the store tomorrow, bright and early. Seven AM sharp, or you're transformed into something much worse than a balloon for me next week."

Marcel grumbled, eyes pleading for an escape. "I'll be there! I'm not spending another day as your bra after last time. But what are you talking about with balloo-OOOMP!"

She-Hulk brought Marcel's mouth to her lips. Where once he might have melted at the thought, he was much too distraught for romance now. She-Hulk's powerful lungs forced air into him, turning him from useless huge floppy sheet into a helpless puffy Marcel balloon in no time.

She grabbed his lips, holding them shut so she could look him in the eyes. "I'm almost disappointed to hear you say that. But I do need the help at the store right now. See you at seven!"

Marcel still couldn't talk through She-Hulk's grip. He could only squirm, wobbling his limbs while shouting unintelligible nonsense through his sealed lips. "MMMMMPH! MMMPH!"

Then she let him go.

*PTTTTTTTTTTTTTB*

He flew wildly around the arena to the crowd's cheers. He eventually broke through the roof, leaving a Marcel shaped hole and flying through the sky.

Despite his predicament, he could only think about one thing.

*UUUUURGH! This is infuriating! I will get my revenge even if-OOOF!*

*WHAM!*

Marcel would have another few hours to think about it, flattened against the side of his apartment building, several stories above the pavement.

*I just hope I flutter down while I'm still 2D...*

* * *

"Dorks," except for the name, was a perfectly normal looking establishment down town. A single story stand alone casual eatery in a parking lot, with glass windows to let in tons of sunlight, and a nice orange roof to stand out to would be customers.

So why was it special?

One, the staff was known for wearing white tank tops and orange shorts.
Two, the wings actually were good.
Three, it was recently discovered that She-Hulk herself was the owner.

And of course, for this week only, perpetual underdog yet possible rising star Marcel himself would be working there.

The restaurant didn't open until 9:00, but at 6:55, Marcel appeared outside, wearing black pants, a white dress shirt, and a black bow tie. "I can't believe I'm skipping a week of training because of that muscle bound airhe-"

The door opened. She-Hulk stepped out, wearing the restaurant's trademark uniform. The white struggled to hide both her emerald skin, and the disdain on her face.

Marcel stopped mid sentence. "GOOOOOOD Morning!"

She-Hulk slowly shook her head without talking for several seconds. "Are you serious?"

Marcel hesitated, realizing there would be nobody here to gather his splattered body should She-Hulk decide to pulverize him over his rant. "I mean, of course I would rather train and get strong like you! It's what we all strive for in the wrestling world, and-"

She-Hulk held up a hand. "No, not your delusions of super strength. You forgot the uniform."

Marcel looked himself over, searching for a stain or something else wrong. "What, I'm dressed to be the finest matradee."

She-Hulk gave an exaggerated eye-roll, putting her whole head into it. "No dumb-ass, your suit actually looks great, but..."

She reached into her back pocket, and pulled out a matching white and orange uniform. "You were supposed to wear this."

In one swift motion, She-Hulk slammed the uniform over his head. Marcel's body was squished down to the sidewalk like smashed clay before springing up, dressed in his brand new Dorks uniform.

"Huh? Hey, where's my suit?!"

She-Hulk shrugged. "Probably back in your apartment for next week or something, I don't ask questions about these things. It'll be there the next time you nee-..."

She stopped mid sentence, peering behind Marcel. "No no no, that won't do at all."

"What won't do?" Marcel tried to follow She-Hulk's gaze, twisting to look over his shoulder. "Did you get me the wrong size? I am a perfect physical specimen, it should not be difficult to-AACK!"

*THOOOMP*'

She-Hulk slammed the end of a hose into Marcel's shorts, right between his legs. "There we go, now we just need a liiiiiittle pressure..."

She took an impossibly large breath, briefly inflating her entire upper half to triple her size, then carefully blew just a bit of air through.

*PLOOOMP*

Marcel felt his hips fighting the pressure, eventually puffing out from his new boss's blast of air. "Hey, what gives!"

She-Hulk held up a photo of a woman in the same uniform, her thighs and hips clearly inflated to ridiculous size under her comparatively tiny belly. "You knew what you were signing up for when you took the bet, Mighty Marcel."

His face turned red with rage. He stammered, shouting under his breath. "WHAT?! You mean, the heck....You said that was a promotional photo!"

"I also said that's what all of my guest hosts looked like. Knocks them out at the door."

Marcel stomped his foot, motioning at his newly fluffy hips with open hands. "But I'll look ridiculous! I'm known for my fit and trim physique!"

She-Hulk smiled smugly. "Well then, I guess I'm wearing my favorite Marcel leotard for my next match."

His fit cam to a sudden stop, and his face paled. "But...the last time you did that, your ridiculous body's simple flex tore me to shreds!"

The green one raised both arms, flexing her biceps, creating a slight tear above her cleavage with a short loud *RRRRRRIP!* "That was fun! I'll make sure I wear a second shirt this time. After all, I've been working out."

"Give me the damn hose." To her surprise, Marcel swiped it out of her hands. Before she could react, he took a deep breath, and gave in to the air blimping his butt. Inflating himself was NOT his favorite past time, but he couldn't deny the wobbling sensation of his flesh pushing against the sides, and front, of his orange shorts felt pretty good. He kept going, blowing up his muscled thighs, skin rippling in the breeze while ballooning larger. He didn't stop until he was twice as big as the server in She-Hulk's photo, big enough to balance extra trays on his caboose.

The exertion left him panting for breath, and slightly deflated on top. "There...big butt Marcel, at your service."

She-Hulk actually applauded him. "Wow, that IS impressive. I would have said don't go that far, but now that I see this, you look pretty good. The customers are going to love you! Now, get in there and get ready for the brunch rush."

Marcel nodded with renewed determination. *If the customers love me, maybe this won't be so bad! I just need to run in there and...and...*

*RRRRRRRRRR*

Loud rubber squeaks accompanied Marcel's attempted entrance. He turned to see his pneumatic posterior was stuck in the door frame.

"What?! This is absurd! How am I-UURK"

She-Hulk grabbed him by the back of his shirt, placing her big strong hands around him. "Here, let me help you out."

*SQUIIIIIIIISH*

With a few deft motions, she scrunched Marcel's feet and head close together. She used a few more twists to finish squeezing him into a ball, wrapping his head and torso around the balloon butt before finally smashing his squished chin between the cheeks.

"Good luck on your first day!"

She wound up and hurled her new Marcel ball into the restaurant underhand.

"AAAAH! HOW DID I END UP LIKE THIIIIIIS!!!"

*SPLAT*

* * *

Marcel had some trouble at first, but had to admit he was getting tipped well as he got the hang of his temporary service career. "This isn't too bad. I've sent 15 tables home happy, and I've already made a week of wrestling pay worth of tips. Just a few more tables and I can go home for the day and plot my..."

Marcel froze, seeing his newest customer. "My word, who is this?"

At his table sat the most interesting woman he had ever seen. She wore a hooded red robe down to her knees, using belts to accentuate her perfect breasts. Thigh high white stockings with knee high blue boots, exposing just a little of her healthy pink thighs to tease him.

Most curious of all, she wore an expressionless white mask covering her entire face, leaving every detail underneath a mystery.

He tried to pull at the neck of his shirt, forgetting he was wearing a tank top. Steam shot out from his tank top anyway.

*Okay, keep it together Marcel, don't do anything dumb and you might have found the perfect woman for our fan base.*

He coughed to clear his throat, and walked over. "Hello, my name is Marcel, and welcome to Dorks!"

Her masked face turned to him. She spoke in her perfect voice, "Hi, I just got here, but my table has no forks."

Marcel jumped in panic. "I'm sorry, I'll get some so this works."

She shrugged, but sounded happy as she held up a bottle. "Thanks. Oh, I brought my own wine, do you open corks?"

Marcel felt his inflated knees buckle under him as he reached for his corkscrew. *She appreciates wine too?! She's cuuuuuute!*

Unfortunately, he had trouble opening the bottle. "Why, of course! Hrrrng...I can't get enough torques."

The mysterious Shy Woman put her hands on her hips. "What? I thought you were strong...never mind. While I open this, can you recommend any porks?"

She pulled the cork out effortlessly.

Marcel felt his knees fall out from under him, vaguely aware of the wet splashing noise accompanying them. "You're strong too?! Zorks!"

His internal gushing was interrupted by the sensation of his legs spreading, so hes chanced a look down. His balloon butt was definitely floating on the toony goop that was once his legs. Drops of his melting body ran down his arm, his body rapidly losing cohesion in the face of a beautiful sophisticated woman.

*Welp, I'm this far gone already, might as well enjoy this.* His eyes rolled back, he bit hit lip...

He groaned once his waist completely melted away, reducing even more of him to a puddle. "Aaaaaah....So, uuuh, what's your name?"

"Vorx."

"Blooooorrrrrrks...."
*SPLOOOOSH*

The rest of Marcel splashed into a mussy white and orange puddle on the ground, making an utterly gooey mess of his proud self.

Vorx tilted her head in frustration. Whether or not she rolled her eyes was hidden by her motionless mask. "Another one? Ugh. Why do these big butt wrestlers always prove to be all hot air? Oh, my, quorks."

She reached into a fold of her robe, pulling out a small vacuum attached to a clear tank. She flipped it on, and sucked up the burbling puddle of wrestler. Marcel's goop was sucked up in layers, a handful of his arm here, a floating melted eyeball there. In less than a minute, his eyes were floating in a jar of Marcel batter in the Shygirl's grasp.

She held the jar up to her mask. "Hmmm, maybe I'm going too hard on this one...ooooor maybe I should just leave him at the front desk. Or..."

Marcel's eyes grew worried, watching the masked face look between his liquefied mass, and the large wine glass in front of her.

"Hmmmm..."

* * *

She-Hulk watched her favorite regular finish pouring her guest star waiter into the tank before her. She looked in to make sure Marcel was all there, and closed the lid as his eyes sank into his liquid form.

"I'll have a chat with him later. Thanks again for coming!"

The Shygirl waved as she left. "Sorry I melted another one Shulkie! See you next week!"

She-Hulk turned her attention to the steel drink dispenser before her. "As for you..."

She slammed her first on top of it, crushing it. A pale skin and orange colored stream of goopy milkshake poured to the floor, before snapping up into Marcel's normal, if completely off balance, shape, though somehow still with a super inflated butt.

"You need to keep it together mister. I know she's cute, but we can't have you melting over everyone that walks in here wearing a mask Marcel!"

He shook his head, rattling something around inside his head. "I didn't, I mean...you're right. That was unacceptable. I'll try harder tomorrow."

She-Hulk nodded sternly, then turned back to the register and ledgers behind her. "See that you do. Go get some rest, you earned it today. That ass brought in lots of customers, I might need you in that more often."

Marcel jumped, realizing for the first time his butt still hadn't restored to a normal shape. "How?! How is it still like this?!"

She-Hulk didn't turn, only waved her hand in the air. "Trade secret on the shorts. My designer doesn't tell me how It Fits, but the results speak for themselves. Now go get some rest."

Marcel was seething. Rather than turn to leave, he reached behind his back, and produced a massive sledge hammer. He lifted it high over his head, and quietly approached She-Hulk.

"Just as soon as you fix your OWN flat ass!"

He jumped and brought the hammer down as hard as he could.

*WHAAAAAAM!*

She-Hulk froze when the hammer hit her head. She blinked a few times, then her full seven foot tall frame turned to face her attacker.

Marcel was stuck in the air, still holding the hammer mid-swing, his plan foiled by She-Hulk's immense strength. He looked extremely sheepish getting caught in the act.

"Heh heh...you are pretty strong?"

To make matters worse, his hammer crumbled apart in his hands.

She-Hulk looked at the hammer's remains, then cracked her knuckles. "Tell ya what, I'm going to just forget this happened in a few minutes, and not hold it against you. Get your rest before you go to pieces."

Marcel, still stuck in mid air, looked confused. "What do you...I'm still perfectly solid, I'm made of sterner stuff than that silly hammer-OOOOOF!!!"

*KER-PUNCH*
*WHAAAM*
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

All Marcel saw was a green blur. She-Hulk landed an uppercut squarely on his jaw, stretching his head and shattering his teeth before the rest of him followed through the ceiling. He flew over the city like a rag doll, tumbling in the general direction of his apartment.

*Uuuugh...Wait, does she have me landing next to my apartment? She is good-OOOF*

*SPLAAAAAAAT*

Marcel landed hard in the grass next to the building. Despite the softer ground, the force left him flattened on the ground, limbs splayed out, and the cute wrestler little more than a Marcel painting on the grass.

"Uuuugh...this has to be the worst...day...OHGODWHATTHE-"

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

While Marcel was taking his time restoring his body to normal, he forgot it was the complex's landscaping day. A riding mower passed right over him, slicing and shredding what sorry excuse for a body he still had. He had the misfortune of feeling every last blade pass through his flattened body, before it spit out Marcel colored grass clipping in a pile with the real vegetation.

The last thing the mower spat out were his two eyeballs, tossing them onto the pile.

Those eyes narrowed with rage, despite his current state. "I *will* get She-Hulk back tomorrow. Just as soon as I figure out where all of me-...all...of....AAAAh-CHOO!...all of me is."