Sidney cocked an eyebrow at the crystal in her hand.  “Dia?  I want Duncan, not you.”

“Tough, you get all of us.”

Sidney gave the crystal a shake.  “Duncan!”

“H..hey!  We’re not a magic 8-ball, here!”

“I just want to talk to my husband.”

“We are all here,” replied Duncan softly.  “But perhaps now is not the time to have this discussion.”

Sidney glowered at the crystal.  “Fine.  Let’s have the more important one.  Are you safe to be around?”

Duncan was quiet for a time.  “We are less fragile, both physically and emotionally, since your wish.  Still soulless, but for now that can be tempered with patience.”

“That wasn’t a ringing endorsement.  Do I need to wish at you some more?”

“A wish for no more wishes?  It seems unlikely to work.”

“How about to not use magic without thinking it through first?  Would that even work?”

Another long pause.  “Perhaps.  We would prefer not to be so confined, especially here.  Once we’re safely at home... perhaps.”

“I’ll take it.  And hold you to that.”

“Yes dear.”

Sidney chuckled and waved to the kids.  “Come on.  We need to get going.”

Courtney scrambled over quickly.  “Daddy?”

“We’re here, sweetie,” called the crystal.

“Oh.  Are you going to be a crystal bunny like Bunhill?”

“We would prefer to be a toy snake-girl, not a rabbit.”

“Show me!”

They couldn’t have stopped the change if they tried, Courtney’s enthusiasm was more powerful than any wish.  A moment later a two foot long copy of their favourite body was twined around Sidney’s arms, feeling more solid than they had since...  They let the thought slide away as Courtney held out her arms, and they slithered from their wife to their daughter.

Courtney skritched them under the chin and they purred, a pretty, resonant sound.  “Good Daddysnake.”

Duncan giggled, hiccuped, and started crying.  “Thank you,” they whispered through the tears.

“For?”

Duncan shrugged and couldn’t explain it.  Eventually they settled on, “Helping.”

Courtney patted the snake gently.  “You’re welcome.  Stop crying, please?”

Duncan allowed themselves a little sigh, then curled up in Courtney’s arms.  “Okay.  Since you asked nicely.”

Once everyone was aboard, Duncan monitored the lift crystals while Sasha slowly lifted the plane into the air.  It took another couple of minutes to get clearance, and then they were away, back toward Canada and home at last.

Their honor guards picked up their position shortly after they got going, and Duncan’s father noticed their presence.  “They only do stuff like this for war heroes.  What did you do?”

“You haven’t heard?” asked Duncan, incredulously.  “All... everything.  Everything that happened last night.  We were involved in all of it.  The army mobilizing, multiple nuclear weapons...  They saw us as a threat.  If they hadn’t kidnapped you, none of this would have happened.”

“What about the demons?  Wouldn’t those have still happened?”

Duncan shrugged sinuously.  “Probably.  They’d have figured out where the Worldstone is eventually.”

“And if it hadn’t happened during a full Moon?”

“Everyone would have died,” whispered Duncan.  “Everyone.  What we did to stop them was only possible because the Moon was full last night.”

“And you saved everyone.”

“No!” shouted Duncan.  “Half the world is dead.  Don’t you get it?  If we had only...”

“What, exactly?” replied Duncan’s father placidly.  “What would you have done differently knowing what you do now?”

“Nothing.  Okay, maybe not going off on the border guard, that was uncalled for, born of anger and frustration.  They were shooting at us, and endangering the people behind us, one of which...”  Duncan sighed.  “One of which had been nice, and we liked him well enough to want to protect him.”

“What did you do?” asked Sidney.

“Bounced their bullets back at them.  Directly back at them, a lot went right back into their guns.  They also lobbed anti tank missiles at me.  Those must have killed a bunch.”

“Serves them right.  They shouldn’t have been shooting at you.”

“Their commander had been mind controlled,” Duncan replied softly.  “They were just following orders.”

“I’ve heard that phrase before,” muttered Duncan’s father.  “It didn’t work out so well.  They were treating you like a valid military target.  Whether or not that was correct, you were right to defend yourself and end the threat.”

“They weren’t a threat to us.  Just to the people behind us.”

“Doesn’t matter.  Once you start shooting, you’re a target.”

“Okay,” snapped Duncan.  “Fine.  We did what had to be done.  Became the monster the world needed.”

“Daddysnake isn’t a monster.”  Courtney’s voice was determined.  “Daddysnake is good.”

“Snakes aren’t monsters?” asked Duncan.

Courtney shook her head.  “Toys aren’t monsters.  They’re toys.”

“Huh.  Sounds like a good deal.  Okay, we’re a toy.  Now what?”

“Playtime!”

That was how they spent the flight back north.  Courtney played with the plush snake-girl, then needed more guests for tea.  That was how Donna ended up as a plush cat.  Shortly after that, Dia ended up as a ball for Victor to play with.

The adults just watched in amusement as a five year old girl turned the most powerful entity on the planet into toys, and made them dance to her whims.

Before they knew it, they were angling toward the runway of Victoria International Airport.  As they taxied toward the terminal, Sidney urged Courtney to clean up her things.  By that time there were a half dozen plushies, plus several toys for Victor as well.

Courtney gathered them into her arms, but several fell as she tried to walk to the door.  A sparkling basket appeared, and she loaded her prizes into that instead.

The last barrier between them and freedom was the Canada Customs desk.  The claim that they’d been away for a week but hadn’t bought anything earned them a rather skeptical look at Courtney’s basket full of brand new looking toys.  When the snake slithered up to the counter and started talking, the agent boggled, then started to laugh.  “How on earth?”

“Magic,” said Duncan.

“So they didn’t buy these?”

“Nope, made them ourselves to keep the little ones amused.”

The agent studied the form in front of them and shrugged.  “We don’t have a category for that.  Are you bringing any food or other farm products with you?”

“No,” answered Sidney.  “We spent the entire time at Disneyland.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“We weren’t allowed to leave,” Sidney noted flatly.

“Ah.  Well, that’s not my concern.”  The agent stamped their paperwork and waved them on.

They headed outside to hail a taxi, and instead ran into Ray, looking distinctly human for the first time in months.  “Is Donna with you?”

“Here!” piped up two of the plushies, a cat and what looked like an angel with a vixen’s face and purple fur.

“Oh, good.  I’ve got the van here to take you all home, save you dealing with a taxi.”

“Cool, thanks.  Ray, these are my parents, Sturgis and Hope.  You’ve met Sidney and the kids before, I think.”

Ray nodded, smiling at the little ones.  “Yes, at the pool party.  Hopefully you’ll have time to visit again, the others were quite taken with them.”

“Once we’re feeling more ourselves, perhaps.”

Ray chuckled softly and nodded.  “Of course.  How are you feeling?  You look vastly improved.”

“We’re doing far better.  We’re going to spend the next month as toys, not monsters.  Courtney’s orders.”

“Oh!”  Ray crouched before Courtney to get to her eye level.  “Hey there.  You’re doing a great job taking care of...”

“Daddysnake!” supplied Courtney eagerly.

Ray chuckled and nodded.  “Just so.  Keep up the good work.  Your Daddysnake really needs your help.”

“They do?” asked Courtney, wide eyed.  “But they’re Daddy.  Daddies are the ones that help.”

“And your Daddysnake did a lot of helping.  They helped everyone in the world.  Now it’s their turn.  Do you understand?”

Courtney shook her head uncertainly.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter.  You’re doing great, just keep it up.”

“Okay!”

They followed Ray out to the van, and found a lynx-styled catgirl at the wheel.  “Ana!” cheered the two Donna plushies.

Ana waved.  “Hey Donna.  I won a cut-throat game of Crazy Eights to get the honor of driving you home.”

The plushies all sort of... crumpled.  Ray clucked at Ana.  “None of the hero worship stuff, okay?  We’re all just friends here, heading home.”

At the mention of home the plushies perked up again, as did Courtney and Victor.  “Home?”

“Soon.  Let’s get everyone aboard and buckled in, and we’ll have you home soon.”

The drive was quiet, as Ana wasn’t quite sure what to say, and the others had talked themselves out in the plane.  Courtney and Victor were both starting to droop from exhaustion.

Ray parked in the street in front of the Faulkner house.  As the family got out, Sidney frowned.  “What’s with that pile of stuff on the lawn?  Wait, did someone mow?”

“We got some volunteers for mowing.  The pile is... well.  You’ll see.  We’ve tried to keep it low key, but people keep leaving stuff here.

“Is this a shrine?  To my husband?” asked Sidney, incredulously.

“Basically, yeah.  You should see the one at the Blue Vixen, we’ve been trying to direct everyone there instead.”

“Can we... not deal with this for now?” asked Duncan plaintively.

Ray nodded sharply.  “We’ll keep an eye on it for you.  Don’t worry about it.  C’mon, let’s get you into your home.”

There was a little fumbling for keys at the door.  Sidney’s were buried somewhere, and Duncan’s keys had been nuked repeatedly.  After a moment’s thought they created a new key, already in the keyhole.

“Handy,” said Sidney.

“And a huge security risk,” added Ray dourly.  His snark earned several glares.  “Right, nevermind.  In you go.”

Sidney punched in the alarm code, and then let out a huge sigh.  “Home.”

“Yay!” cried Courtney, perking up and running into the house.  Victor was asleep in his grandfather’s arms, and was soon tucked into his bed.

“I’ll run your folks home if you like,” said Ray.

“That’d be nice.  I think we all need to fall over for a while.”

Ray chuckled and saluted Duncan.  “I’d say you’ve more than earned it.  Keep in touch, if you need anything at all, I’ll send someone to help.”

“I think...” started Sidney, then she glanced down at the basket of toys Courtney had dropped near the door.  “Yeah.  That’d be nice.  Is Gwen around?”

“In spirit,” chimed a voice from mid air.  “I’ve got a crystal here I can listen through, and do certain things.  I could make a body if you can spare some magic.”

“I...  Yeah.  That’d probably be good.”

Ray smiled as a rainbow-hued feline appeared on the kitchen counter.  It was a little bit bigger than a housecat.  “I’ll leave you to it, then.  Take care.”

Sidney eyed Gwen after the door had closed.  “How much help do you figure on being in that body?”

Gwen hopped off the counter and started dragging the basket of Duncan, Donna and Dia toys to the living room.  She dumped them out, and then snuggled up into the pile with them.  “I figure on joining them as part of Courtney’s toys.  So... not much help to you, but plenty to them.”

Sidney shook her head, but a smile was growing on her face.  “You are impossible.”

“Thanks.”  Gwen curled up around the snakegirl plush.  “G’night.”

“G’night,” mumbled the other toys.

Sidney crouched down to pet them gently.  “Take care of him, okay?  No bad dreams.”

“No bad dreams.”

Sidney went to check on Courtney, and found she’d crashed into her bed almost literally.  She was lying half-in and half out, still clothed.  Sidney took off her shoes and socks, tucked her properly into bed, and pulled the covers over her.  “Sweet dreams, my wonderful little girl.”