On Friday night, Duncan returned home and shut his connection to robo-Duncan with a happy sigh.  Sidney watched her husband slither out of the bedroom on a long snake body, with four arms and four breasts, obviously female.  “Can you at least put the robot away?”

“Sorry, just too eager to get into the right body.  I wish I could work like this.”  Duncan slithered up to the robot, wrapped four arms around it, and slowly made her way to the bedroom.

“Are you seriously going to do this all weekend?” asked Sidney when Duncan slithered back out.

“Do what?”

Sidney waved her arms at Duncan’s scaly body.  “All of that.”

Duncan tilted her head curiously.  “I thought you understood.  This is me.  This is who I am... for now.  Next month we’ll probably tweak the design a bit.”

“Next month?  You’ll be like this next month too?” groused Sidney.

“At least, yeah.  Mostly, anyway.  I want to try to make the tail more sculptable, and I’ll probably tweak the colours some.”  Duncan ran one scaly hand down her side, testing the boundary between skin and scales.  “Maybe move the scale line down a bit, after seeing how I like having two scaly boobs and two normal ones.”

“You’re not supposed to have boobs at all!”

Duncan looked up from her self-examination.  “Ah.  That.”

“Yes, that.”

Duncan shrugged.  “Sorry.”

“That’s all you’ve got?  Sorry?”  Sidney’s voice grew louder.

“What do you want me to say?  I have less control over this than I thought.  Which is odd, because it’s sort of because I have more control than I did...”

“Now what are you talking about?”

Duncan slithered, closer, and opened his arms for a hug, but Sidney took a step back.  “Two years ago, my only choice was to be human.  I was content with that, but dreamed of other things.  So many other things.”

“You never told me any of that at the time.”

Duncan shrugged both sets of arms.  “You made it pretty clear you didn’t want to hear it.”

“What?”  Sidney looked surprised.  “When did I do that?”

“Any time it came up you were emphatic about husbands needing to be male.”

“Well, yeah, because...”  Sidney sighed.  “You really don’t want to be male?”

“I will at some point,” reassured Duncan.  “I’ve just kind of... overdosed on it?  I got used to being boring old Duncan and Donna got to have all the fun.  But this part of me needs this, too.”

“Boring old Duncan?” asked Sidney.  “Is that how you see yourself?”

Duncan glanced down at her body and gave it a wriggle.  “Not right now, no.”

Sidney snickered.  “Okay, fair point.  And I suppose I can’t argue with wanting to change things up.  I just...”  She glanced around to make sure little ears wouldn’t hear.  “I was hoping for some snuggle time with my sweetie.”

Duncan opened her arms wide and slithered forward.  Sidney looked away.  “Not what I meant.  I meant...”

“This body is fully equipped.  Redundant systems, even.  You can tell an engineer had a hand in it.”

“Yeah,” agreed Sidney icily.  “Gwen’s hand.”

Duncan sighed and sat back on her coils.  “Yes.  And Isolde.  Which I suspect doesn’t help any.”

“Not as such, no.  Look, just go play with the kids, or something.  I need to get dinner ready.”

Duncan slithered off, and found Courtney playing in the living room.  Duncan’s daughter hugged her without reservation, and asked for a story.

Duncan invented a story about shapeshifting snake-creatures like herself, who only wanted to be friends but the normal people thought they were too scary.  And how a little girl befriended them all, discovering how nice they were.  “And what do you think she decided they were best at?” asked Duncan.

Courtney thought about it for a bit, then tugged on Duncan’s tail and wrapped it around herself like a blanket.  “They were best for sleeping in,” pronounced Courtney.  “Because they are snuggly, and make the bad dreams go away.”

“And everyone lived happily ever after.”  Duncan hugged her tight.  She heard a throat being cleared, and turned to look at her wife.  “Yes?”

“Dinner is ready.”

Duncan scooped a giggling Courtney up in her arms, and carried her to the table, then went to fetch Victor.  They ate quietly, but once Courtney was done she asked her mother if she thought snake-people were scary.  Sidney shot Duncan a dark look, then sighed.  “No sweetie, I don’t think they’re scary.  I just... don’t want to hug them.”

“Why?”

Duncan winced at that, just as much as Sidney did.  Both knew this game all too well.  After a moment’s silence, Duncan spoke up.  “Well, sweetie?  It is a fair question.”

Sidney’s glower deepend.  “I just don’t, okay?  I want to hug my husband, not a snake.”

“Why?”

Sidney rolled her eyes.  “No.  We’re not doing this tonight.  Bedtime.”

Courtney protested, and managed to finagle an extra story as part of the deal.

Once both the kids were in bed, Sidney retreated to the living room, and Duncan to the kitchen to clean up.  Unit Jade handled most of the clean up, usually, but Duncan wanted something to focus her mind on.  It didn’t help, she just chewed over the arguments with Sidney.

After the dishwasher was started, Duncan slithered downstairs to get her body out of the way, and linked up with the miniature version of her body.  When she opened her eyes, she found herself curled up around Gwen’s arm.

Gwen skritched the little snake’s head.  “Hey there.  Joining us at last?”

“Yeah.”  Duncan sighed happily as the skritching unbound her muscles.  “Thanks, I needed that.”

“You’re still clinging to me like a limpet.  What’s wrong?”

“Sorry.”  Duncan tried to loosen her coils, but Gwen shushed her.

“It’s fine, you’re not hurting me.  Couldn’t, in this body.  Can’t actually feel pain at all, no matter what happens to it.”

“Do you still get nightmares from the attack?”

Gwen shrugged.  “Not since becoming crystal, not really.  But... I guess part of me still is twitchy about it.  But you’re not here to talk about that.  Out with it.”

“Sidney won’t touch me when I’m in the snake body.  Like, at all.  No hugs, nothing.”

“So use robo-Duncan.”  Gwen laughed merrily at the face Duncan pulled at the idea.  “Honestly, this sounds more like an Arwen and Joseph problem.  Can’t you two sort things out?”

Duncan shrugged.  “I don’t know.  We tried, and Sidney opened up a little... admitted her attraction to female me, and to being an eclair.  But it’s one thing to identify an issue, and quite another to resolve it.”

“Yeah.  But you have options other than snake and robo-Duncan.”

“Not Unit Jade.  She’s fun, but I can’t imagine Sidney wanting to hug her.”

Gwen laughed.  “Pity.  I’m sure Cobalt and Kate would love to snuggle with Jade.”

Contemplating the scene distracted them both for a bit.  Gwen shook out of it first, and carried Duncan over to a rack of flattened headband-bodies.  “Here, pick out something she’d like.”

“But these are all...  No, wait, there are males in here, too?”

“Not a lot, considering the kind of club we are, but there are a few.  Some of them have optional boobs.”

Duncan giggled at the thought, then tilted her head.  “You know, that’d be perfect.  Got any that look at least a little like me?”

“Well... we don’t have a lot of choices.  How about Jack Lemmon from Some Like it Hot?”

Duncan’s giggles turned into full out guffaws.  “You didn’t!”

“Hey, it’s a Marilyn movie, and we have more than a few fans here.”

Duncan’s attention flicked to the racked bodies, ready to put on like sets of clothes.  Gwen’s attention directed her to one hiding in the back, and soon it was slithering out from among the others.  Duncan walked it to the mirror, and turned it back and forth to study its profile.  “No bits?”

Gwen shrugged.  “Not that kind of club, you know?”

“Declaring ‘I’m a man’ doesn’t work so well in this body, especially when...”  Duncan mentally flexed some structures in her chest, and two large breasts expanded there.  “So this is more Jack Lemmon as a woman?”

“Basically, yeah.  Had a call for it, but it’s...  You look good like this.  It’s not you, but...”  Gwen sighed.  “First quarter is in a week.  Think you two can hold out until then?”

Duncan nodded.  “Easily.  Especially if I can sneak in here once in a while for a hug.”

Gwen hugged Duncan tight.  “Want to dance, too?”

Duncan nodded eagerly.  “Not in this body, though.  Is Donna using hers?”

Gwen smirked.  “Her body is currently in my toy drawer.  Sure that’s the one you want?”

“I’m surprised she isn’t dancing.”

“She’s really gotten into the role of being my toy.  I think it’s partly Dia’s fault, they’re both having fun with trapping Donna’s mind there.”

A tinkling giggle heralded Dia’s attention on the two of them.  “I could stuff Duncan in your bra if you like.”

“It’d still be an improvement on the damn robot,” chuckled Duncan, wryly.  “But I’d rather dance.  Wait... do you have bras that are headband compatible?”

“A bunch, yeah,” agreed Gwen.  “Looking for a particular size?  Like... Sidney’s?”

Duncan nodded.  “That would be fun for me... but I’m not sure how keen she’d be without something for her in the deal.  We’ve got the cake crystals, I suppose I could get her a few eclairs...”

“There you go,” grinned Gwen.  “All settled.  Now let’s dance!”

*** *** ***

Duncan braved his robot body the next afternoon, and got a cheerful hug from Sidney when she saw the robot moving around.  “I thought you weren’t going to...”

“Gwen convinced me otherwise.  I’ll craft a more tolerable body next weekend.  I know I sound like Marvin complaining about the diodes all up and down his side, but... I’m really starting to loathe this body.  I’d call in sick if I felt I could, and just bail on this body forever.”

“Do it.”

Duncan shook his head.  “Can’t.  We’ve got the vacation in November, between that and Christmas I’ll be out of vacation days.”

Sidney let go of Duncan and took a step back so she could glare at him properly.  “Take some unpaid days, then.  We can afford it.  Heck, we can afford for you to bail on the job entirely.”

“I know, I know.  It’s not about the money.  It’s about being productive.”

“And healing every sick person in Victoria isn’t cutting it on that front?”

Duncan shrugged, then rolled his shoulders to loosen up a sticky joint.  “That’s not... me.  Not really.  Donna and Dia do that, I stay here with you.”

“Would it make you happier to be more involved in everything they do?” asked Sidney softly.

Duncan nodded.  “I’ve cut myself off from them for too long.  I’m not really a separate person, and the past few weeks have shown me that trying to become one involves tearing out parts of myself that I am not willing to give up.”

“We’re going to have to revisit the Donna-Gwen agreement, then.”

That drew a wince from Duncan.  “Gwen’s miserable without Ettie around.  The way she just turns off when the Moon is close to new, that’s on us.”

“Us?  How am I involved?” asked Sidney.

“Us in Dia’s sense.  We need better pronouns for this, but invented ones would take too much explaining.”

“It works for you.”

Duncan smirked.  “I’m not an it.  Though sometimes I’d like to be.  Which brings up my errand.  There’s a bra your size at the Blue Vixen, and a headband to go with it.  I’ll pick up some eclairs on the way home, we can see how those cake crystals work on them.”

Sidney’s eyes lit up.  “Oooh.  So the trade is, you’ll be my bra for a while, and I’ll get vicariously nibbled on?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, then.  What are you waiting for?  Go already!”

Duncan saluted her, and headed out the door.  He gave his hand a little shake to dislodge it from it’s straight-fingered pose.  “Going to send this body to the crusher,” he grumbled.  “Or let Gwen blow it up.  Somewhere safer than a backyard, mind you...”

He kept muttering in that vein until he made it to the Blue Vixen parking lot, and up to Gwen’s place.  Gwen met him at the door with a hug.  “Dia says you’re especially grumpy about your body today.”

Duncan laughed.  “Should have known.  Not as separate as I think, am I?”

“No.  Dia’s just giving you the illusion of it.”  Gwen led him into her kitchen with a sway of her fuzzy hips and feline tail – it looked like she’d borrowed one of the Crimson Kitten’s waitress bodies for the day.

“Figures,” muttered Duncan.  “I feel like I’m being treated like a kid.”

“We can’t open up fully until the first quarter,” chimed Dia, from their perch on Gwen’s kitchen counter.  “The division we made for your birthday independence needs magic to undo it.”

“Fair enough.  I can wait another week.  Especially if the cake crystals work, we’re going to try them on some eclairs today.”

“Unfortunately, they require magic to integrate with the pastry.  Once integrated, they’ll work in the dark of the Moon.”

Duncan sighed.  “Bother.  I promised Sidney eclairs.  Ah well, week-old eclairs wouldn’t be any fun anyway.  I’ll get some fresh ones on the way home, and we can pretend...”

Dia’s chuckle sounded like chiming bells.  “We had the foresight to craft an eclair when we made the cake, and add a few crystals to it.  Magic eclairs don’t go stale.”

“Oooh.  Thank you!  That’ll make her much happier about all this mess.”

“And I’ll look into finding a location to destroy your current body,” added Gwen with a waggle of her eyebrows.  “We’ll make its end spectacular.  Maybe put it on a boat in one of the more remote lakes?”

“Viking funeral style?” asked Duncan.  “Yeah, that’d be great.  You’re the best.”

Gwen grinned.  “And don’t you forget it.  Now go have fun with Sidney, and come tell me stories tonight.”

After accepting the bra, headband, and magic eclair, Duncan did just that.  Sidney was thrilled to discover that there was an eclair for her to inhabit, though she did look at it askance when she heard it was over a week old already.

“You won’t be the one eating it,” noted Duncan.

“And I suppose it can’t make you sick like this,” Sidney mused.  “Wait a bit, this robot body of yours can’t even eat.  How’s this going to work?”

“My real body can eat.  Needs a little bit, I think, I’ve noticed it getting hungry occasionally.”

“Your real...  Aww, you mean that snake thing.  I suppose I can let her eat me.  Won’t be the same.”

Duncan rolled his eyes.  “Is it really so bad?  That body is more me than this hunk of junk ever was.”

“But I like that hunk of junk,” whined Sidney.  “You’re not going to get rid of it, are you?”

“That was the plan, yes.  Gwen’s setting up a Viking funeral for it, somewhere remote so we won’t bother anyone.  There will probably be thermite involved, or high explosives.  Likely both.”

“Duncan!”

Her husband shook his head.  “This body’s a wreck.  It’s going.  We’ll build a replacement for this next weekend, one that both of us can be happy with.  I have more than enough crystals stashed here to build it.”

“Which we?” asked Sidney archly.  “I don’t want Gwen’s paws on it.”

“Fine.  Just you and me.  Well, us.  Dia and Donna will be part of it, of course.  Gwen might have some comments and ideas...”

“Ideas are fine.  Just...”

Duncan smiled crookedly.  “I get it.  No paws, no direct work on robo-Duncan Mark 2.  What about snake-Duncan Mark 1a?”

“I don’t care,” replied Sidney, frostily.

“Come on, sweetie.  Can’t you at least try?  We could build you a fantasy male body to inhabit...”

“Not helping.”

“Surely you have some fantasy other than the eclairs you’d like to play out.  Is there no male-Sidney you’d like to see with the snake?” wheedled Duncan.

“Not... with the snake, no.”

“So if I make a fantasy girl to go with your fantasy guy, you’d...”

Sidney looked away from Duncan’s eager eyes.  “You might not like my idea.”

“Seriously, love.  We’re talking about headband bodies.  Anything is fair game.  You should see some of the things they have at the club...  There’s an aquarium there, and both mermaids and just plain old fish bodies.  And a few suggestively shaped jellyfish.”

Sidney looked confused for a moment, then giggled.  “Boob shaped jellyfish, really?”

“Quite popular, I believe,” replied Ducan with a grin.  “I’ve read through the fantasy requests, and believe me when I say, I will handle anything you request.  And if I don’t like it... well, I’ll still make the bodies, but I might not jump in.  I won’t hold it against you, even then.  No matter what.”

“I want a dollhouse.”

Duncan raised an eyebrow.  “You want a headband dollhouse?”

Sidney shook her head.  “No.  Maybe.  Well, yes, but that wasn’t the point.”

“What is the point?”

“I want doll-sized bodies for us.  Both of us, perfectly normal other than size.  So I can lounge in the pool in my luxury dollhouse, or dance through its perfectly clean halls.”

“And occasionally swap headbands?” asked Duncan softly.

“I...”  Sidney frowned.  “Huh.  I’d rather have a male version of myself.  And... try to make love with you while you’re normal sized.”

“Not afraid I’d eat you all up?” Duncan inquired with a grin.

Sidney’s eyes went wide and then distant.  “Oh.  I...  Oh.  Could you?  I mean, make the body... edible?”

“Easily.  You might want a few spares, just in case some giant snake-monster invades and decides you all look tasty.”

“Duncan, you wouldn’t!  I...”  Sidney glanced toward the basement, where the snake was hiding when not inuse.  “She’d be terrifying that big.”

“Ah,” sighed Duncan softly.  “Well, we’ll sort something out.”

“Bring her in here.”

Duncan lay his robotic body down on their bed, and soon her snaky incarnation slithered into the bedroom.  When she got there, she found Sidney lying beside the robot, wearing a familiar sapphire-adorned headband.  Sitting on her belly was the box with the magic eclair.

Duncan made sure to put on a show for the eclair, teasing and fondling it before nibbling at it delicately here and there.  Then she discovered just how far she could unhinge her jaw, and slid the whole thing down her throat.  Swallowing it whole was tricky, and made her throat bulge in curious but not painful ways.  She wriggled and danced as it made its slow way down her esophagus, and patted her belly softly once the eclair’s journey reached its end.  “Mmm.  You were tasty.  Done?”

Duncan glanced over at Sidney’s recumbent form.  She showed no signs of stirring, yet Duncan knew she could easily return to her body whenever she wished.  She shrugged, and slithered out of the bedroom.

After a short time curled up in her computer chair, browsing idly, Duncan heard a soft step in the hallway.  She turned with a smile, only to find Courtney emerging from her nap.  “Where’s Mummy?”

Duncan slithered over to her and scooped her up, getting a giggle and a cheer.  “Your mother is having a little nap.  Maybe we can play quietly so we don’t wake your brother or your mother?”

Courtney nodded, and they passed a few merry hours in her room, making up adventures for Courtney’s toys on the giant blanket of Duncan’s tail, which could become mountains and valleys with a thought.

It wasn’t until dinnertime that Sidney emerged, to find Duncan already preparing a simple meal.  She snuggled up to her snaky husband and gave her a proper hug.  “Thanks, love.”

Duncan turned and carefully moved in for a brief kiss.  “You’re welcome.  Any time.”

“You don’t happen to have any more eclairs, do you?”

Duncan shook her head.  “Next weekend.”

Sidney nodded.  “Next weekend.”  Then she nudged Duncan out of the way at the stove, and took over work on dinner, humming happily to herself.