Donna did her usual rounds with Doctor O’Brien, healing patients who were beyond the reach of modern medicine, or nearly so.  She did not find the work as engaging as it had been in the past, requiring little more than a fraction of her attention to fix what was wrong.

“Earth to Donna,” chided Colin.

Donna shook her head to clear it, and glanced down to notice that she was looking partially crystalline again.  “Oops.  Sorry, my heart’s not in this tonight.”

“I noticed.”  He gestured to the woman sleeping in front of them.  “She wasn’t blonde a minute ago, and her breasts have just doubled in size.  You were only supposed to do her spine.”

Donna stared down at the woman, who now looked like she could be a cousin to Gwen.  She started crying, and had to manage the reversion of the cosmetic changes through her tears.

Colin led her out of the patient’s room and into the nurses’ break area.  “Are you going to be okay?”

Donna wiped her tears away. “Gwen was the first one I healed.  Similar mess in her spine, though not as fresh.  I’ll try not to slip again.  Turning all your patients into chesty blondes might not go over well.”

Colin chuckled.  “I suspect the women might not mind.  The men?  Well...”

Donna cracked a tiny smile.  “You’d be surprised how many like it given the chance.  Knowing the change is temporary makes it less scary.  Kind of like putting on a mask.”

“And what mask are you wearing tonight?”

“One that hides a monster on the inside,” replied Donna without hesitation.

“You’re not a monster,” reassured Colin.  “Look at the good you’ve done here.  Twenty-three patients who will all make full recoveries.  Some were even moved here from Vancouver just for tonight, in hopes that our magic will rub off.”

“Hard to balance that against thousands I killed in flash of anger,” said Donna softly.  “It’ll take a lot of nights like tonight to balance that scale.”

“No.  It won’t,” said Colin.  “It’s not about balancing the scale, and it never was.  Because you yourself admitted to Peter that you’d saved far more lives than you took tonight.  Look, I know the restrictions you work under here don’t let you see the smiling faces on the families who’d given up hope.  I could arrange for you to be here for some of that, if you like.”

“I’d feel...”  Donna shook her head.  “Thanks, but not this time.”

“Well, there’s one patient you did promise to see.  Ruby.  We sent her home a couple days ago, I have the address here...”  Colin started flipping through his clipboard.

“No need.  I can find any of those I’ve touched.  She’s not far away.  And despite the hour, still awake.”

Colin chuckled.  “It’s barely past ten.  You’re jet-lagged from starting the night back east.  Going to go hit the club later?”

Donna looked away.  “I was there earlier.  It’s... not where I need to be, right now.”

“Where do you need to be?”

“Maybe I’ll have a better idea after Ruby.  Thanks.”

Colin saluted Donna, just before she vanished.  “Any time.”

*** *** ***

Ruby’s bedroom was spartan.  Small, but well kept.  The walls appeared pristine, as if freshly painted, but there were no adornments save for a couple of dolls on top of the dresser.  Donna could feel the clothes neatly arranged within, as if with military precision.  Ruby’s eyes glittered in the light shed by Donna’s crystal form, watching her silently as she clutched the plush purple cat that Donna had replaced for her the last time they’d met.

Donna sent a little power into the toy, making sure that it would not fade in a week.  “Hello Ruby.  How are you feeling?” she asked softly.

“Much better, thank you ma’am.”

“Have you decided to live?”

Ruby nodded.  “I asked my foster parents about money.  Mom and Dad had life insurance, but no will.  It’ll take a while to get settled, but it turns out I’m not broke after all.  Just stuck here until I turn eighteen.”

“Is it so bad?”

“Captain Mason is pretty strict.  Everything has to be clean and neat.  We have to turn out for inspection as if we were in some kind of boot camp.  It took some getting used to.”

“Took?”

Ruby ducked her head, looking down at the plush in her hands.  She petted it softly.  “They care.  I’ve heard stories from the other kids, about families that don’t.  They never yell, never call us names.  We get fed, and Mrs. Mason takes us to a park just about every day.  I miss my parents sooo much, but it’s not fair to compare the Masons to them.”

“You’re pretty wise for a kid,” said Donna.  “How’d you get like that?”

Ruby looked up at her, eyes bright.  “An angel told me that I had to live.  Doctor O’Brien told me how you saved my soul.  That nobody else could have.  You saved me from something worse than death, how can I not be changed?”

“Oh, Ruby.”  Donna knelt beside the bed and pulled the girl into a hug, glowing more brightly as she did so.  “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Believing in me.  It has been very hard to, tonight.”

“How can you not believe in yourself?” asked Ruby, puzzled.

“I believe in my existence.  Having a harder time believing I’m not evil.”

Ruby looked shocked at the admission.  “But you’re an angel!” she protested.  “You heal people.”

“And fight ghouls, those who would use death to fuel their power.  I fought the strongest one yet tonight, and he...  He killed someone I love.  I got so angry then that I wanted to burn everything.”

“I’ve felt like that,” whispered Ruby.

Donna smiled at her weakly.  “I can do it.  Nearly burned all of Toronto to ash.”

“But you didn’t?” asked Ruby softly into the silence that followed.  “Toronto is still there?”

Donna nodded slowly.  “Toronto is still there.  Mostly.”

“And the CN Tower is OK?  I loved going there.  Momma would take me up top every time we went to the city.  Even though she hated heights.”

Donna’s distressed look said all that needed saying.

“It’s gone?” whispered Ruby.  “But... why?”

“It wasn’t my fault!” protested Donna.  “Just one more thing those assholes have to answer for.  They picked the base of the tower for the fight, and the damage from the fight brought down the tower.  I’m sorry.”

“Ahem.”

Donna spun to look to the balding man standing in the doorway.  “I...”

“Sorry, Captain Mason,” apologized Ruby.  “Donna promised to come see me tonight while the moon was up.  She’s the one who saved my life.”

The Captain looked Donna’s crystalline form over, his years of military experience visible in how he assessed her dispassionately.  “She described you as an angel.  I can see why.  Are you?”

“Not exactly.”  Donna summoned a sphere of light to her hand, brightening the room with magic.  “I have the power to transform or heal people, and to destroy...  But I make no claim to be an angel in the sense you mean.  Not long ago, I was human.”

“But you’re not human now?” he asked, still studying her face.

“No.  My humanity was the price I paid for the power to defeat a ghoul.  I have been hunting those who use magic to feed on death.  Toronto was their last stand.  I hope.”

“And the bad guys blew up the CN Tower!” wailed Ruby.

“Shh.  Don’t wake the others,” ordered the Captain.

“Does it mean so much to you?” asked Donna softly.

“You promised,” sniffed Ruby.  “Promised to do magic for me tonight.”

“Did you now?” asked Captain Mason.

“Yes,” said Donna. “She was suicidal when she learned that her parents were more than just dead, but that their souls had been destroyed as well.  I promised to give her a reason to keep on living.”

The Captain raised an eyebrow at Donna’s comment about souls, but instead of commenting on it said, “A promise is a promise.”

Donna nodded, and turned back to Ruby.  “I think I know what you want to ask.”

“Can you put it back?” whispered Ruby intensely.  “Please?”

“It’s a big job...” mused Donna.  But Duncan was already ten steps ahead of her, with schematics of the tower pulled from their memory of the fight.  Every detail was still waiting there, a tracery of history that could be used to find its prior shape, just like they would with a transformed human.

A scale model of the tower appeared on Ruby’s dresser, at one thousandth the size of the original but otherwise identical in every detail.  “But in the end, it’s simple.  Build a small one, make it big.”

“You can do it?” asked Ruby, a grin starting to form.  “Really?”

“I’m going to try.”

Donna vanished from the room.

“Are you sure this is wise, Ruby?” asked the Captain.

“I don’t know.  She seemed happier?  And the people of Toronto would be happier with the tower back, I’m sure.”

*** *** ***

Duncan pondered how to get to Toronto and back again without wasting half the night.  Dia reminded him of Bunhill, and they reached out to touch the power they’d left with her.  “Bunhill, can you hear us?”

Bunhill squeaked in surprise.  “Uh... yes.  What are you doing?  This can’t be safe.”

“The crystal keeping your soul safe, we’ve used it as a focus.”

“You couldn’t have just used the telephone?” asked the bunnygirl exasperatedly.  “There’s some people here that’d really like to talk to you.”

“I think mine got destroyed in the fight.”

Bunhill summoned forth another crystal, and set it on the desk in front of her.  “The director wants a teleconference, can you use this one instead?”

Dia’s voice emerged from the crystal, with Duncan’s and Donna’s echoing with it.  “Yes.”

“What happened in Toronto?” asked the Director.  “It’s a mess.  Tell me Wilhelm is finished.”

“Wilhelm, his twin brother, and five other ghouls.  Six, if you count the one from Halifax that Wilhelm killed to keep the others in line.”

“You fought seven ghouls?” asked the Director, astonished.  “No wonder the place is a wreck.  I’m just glad the casualty count was low.”

“Low?” asked Dia, astonished.  “But the towers that exploded...”

“Were office towers.  Unoccupied, as far as we’ve been able to tell.  Might have caught a few late workers or a janitor or two.  The Entertainment District was vacant tonight due to the panic over the killings.  Which have now stopped.  You did good.”

“We did?  But the ghouls were killing those people to have the power to fight us.”

“That is not either of your fault,” said the Director.

“Either of...”  Dia’s voice was confused.

“Thank Gwen for us as well.”

“Gwen is dead,” said Donna flatly.

“Oh, no...” breathed Bunhill.  “How?”

“The four ghouls between Marcus and Wilhelm,” said Dia dispassionately, suppressing Donna’s grief.  “They were hidden on top of the towers, and fired death-laced bullets at us.  They homed in on Gwen, and we were only able to stop three.  The fourth hit her directly, causing an explosion much like Marcus did.  Destroyed her body and the plane, and nearly annihilated her soul.  We grabbed on to what we could, but the fight with Wilhelm and his twin took all our attention.”

“So you consumed her.”

Donna’s grief nearly overwhelmed Dia, but they kept speaking.  “Yes.  There was still... an echo left.  Our love for her, and Ettie’s... we did something that preserved those two fragments.  Merged and preserved them, hoping they will grow.”

Bunhill frowned.  “I’ve never even heard of such a thing.  Is that wise?”

“I really don’t care,” replied Donna hotly, “It’s my only hope of seeing her again.”

“What comes out of this may not be her,” cautioned Bunhill.  “If she doesn’t have a soul, I don’t know what you’ll find.”

Dia took control of the conversation once more.  “Enough.  What will be, will be.  Gwen is not why we are working through you.  We made a promise, and would rather not have to travel back to Toronto to fulfil it tonight.”

“Okay,” said Bunhill. “Henry’s as comfortable as I can make him, so... sure.  What can I do to help?”

“Act as a channel for us while we rebuild the CN Tower.”

“What?” asked Bunhill and the CSIS Director, in sync.

“It will act as a beacon of hope.  To one little girl, but also to the city.”

“That is... not such a bad idea.  I have no clue how we’ll explain it, but that is not your problem,” said the Director.  “We could treat the stories of the fallen tower as rumors.  There’s still a lot of smoke in the air.”

“Excellent,” said Dia.  “That will give us cover.  Come, Bunhill.  Once more into the fray.”

Flying in Bunhill’s tiny supersonic jet the trip only took a few minutes.  Dia regrew Bunhill to normal size beside the crater where the battle had ended.  The twisted wreckage of the tower loomed over the crater and had partially filled it.  The radio mast had toppled to the south, damaging the stadium there and grazing the expressway beyond it.

“And you think you can rebuild all this?”

Dia nudged the smoke here and there, creating a screen behind which they could work.  “Let’s find out.  This might get... interesting, as I’m going to need a lot of power.”

“Do what you have to,” said Bunhill resignedly.

Duncan took over then, leading their minds and controlling Bunhill’s body as massive amounts of lunar power lanced through it.  The first, and hardest, task was to shrink the many pieces of tower scattered around them.  Once reduced, gathering them was easy, and forming them into a six and a half meter tall replica of the tower was almost trivial.  Rebuilding the foundation where it had been damaged by the blast took some time, then Duncan set the tower in the middle of the foundation and set it to growing by a factor of one hundred.  That proved alarmingly easy.  There was tedious fiddle involved in making sure the foundation was well-set, and the various services reconnected.  

Bunhill surfaced briefly while they were doing the detail work, as it required far less power than the previous exercises.  She seemed exhausted, but did not protest when Duncan warned that the next phase would draw even more power.  The most important step was to ensure the tower wouldn’t disappear in a week, and to do so with such a large structure seemed an imposing task.  Duncan recalled Gwen’s subtle touch with permanence effects (to fresh anguish from Donna) and did his best to replicate it.  The power draw was still large, but manageable.

Duncan stepped back from Bunhill’s body then, releasing it to her control once more.  She immediately fell to her knees, barely catching herself from complete collapse.

“Are you okay?” asked Dia softly.  “We did not think it would do harm.”

Bunhill shook her head slowly, and started to laugh.  “I cannot believe I once sought to take you over.  You are overwhelming.  I am glad I could help tonight, but I do not wish to ever be so used again.”

Dia sighed softly.  “We are sorry to have hurt you.  Yet another debt owed.”

“No, I wasn’t injured.  It was just so much.  I was submerged in your personalities and power, unable to even remember who or what I was.  More than that, I drowned in Donna’s grief.  She couldn’t hide it when we were so close.  You need to help her.  She can’t go on like this.”

“We know.  We are trying.  This helped.  Seeing the city coming alive...”

Bunhill looked up at the tower.  “Wow.  That’s tall.  I wish I could see it from a better angle.”

“Granted.”  Dia scooped Bunhill up into the air, flying her in an arcing curve around the tower and up to the unoccupied observation deck.  As they did so, Dia spun up a breeze to dispel the worst of the smoke.

After Bunhill regained her breath, she looked out over the city.  “It’s pretty at night.  The damage doesn’t seem so bad from up here.”

Donna looked out of the crystal Bunhill was holding.  “It really doesn’t, does it?  Did the Director tell the truth about the casualties from my actions?”

“I think so.  We spent the last few hours collating all the reports coming out of Toronto.  The core was pretty much deserted.”

Donna let images of fireballs flicker into existence, superimposed over their view of the city.  “What if it had been worse?” she whispered.  The fireballs merged into an illusory sea of flame, dozens of buildings consumed, most of the rest ablaze.

“Gott im Himmel.  What was that?”

“What we nearly did,” said Dia softly over Donna’s sobs.  “Rage and power are a terrible combination.”

“But... how?  The best Solar mage could never do so much.  A gout of flame sufficient to burn an unprotected man, but... a whole city?”

“Physics,” answered Duncan.  “Several countries have weapons now that can do vastly worse than my little bombs would have.  We understand enough of how they work to create those with magic, should we wish... and magic censorship won’t care because they’re fairly small, and can be crafted in private.”

Bunhill looked ill, and her normally perky ears pressed against her back.  “I fear for the world if this is so.  You showed restraint.  What if someone else does not?”

“We don’t know.  We suppose it will be up to us to stop them, should it come to that.”

“Then you’d better get yourself sorted out.  Go home.”

The crystal flared in Bunhill’s hands, then vanished.

*** *** ***

Donna reappeared outside Ruby’s house, and this time she tapped on the door.  The Captain opened it with a skeptical look.  “It is very late.  Ruby’s asleep.”

“I know.  But I wanted her to have these.”  Donna held out two pictures.

“Ah, the tower.  She’ll appreciate that.  What is this other?”

“A picture of the rededication plaque I added beside the original.”

“Rebuilt May 17th, 2011.  For Ruby, and the survivors.”  Touching.  But isn’t it the sixteenth?

“It’s after midnight in Toronto, so...”  Donna shrugged.

“Of course.  Thank you for this.  Hopefully it helps her.  And you.”

Donna’s smile failed.  “You noticed, huh.”

“I’ve seen enough pain in my day.  And PTSD.  You look like you’re covering up both.  I’d offer to help, but you need a professional.”

“Thank you.  I have one, and I’ll be going back to see her in a moment.  Is there anything I can do for you first?  You’ve done well by Ruby, she even acknowledges that the strictness is a good thing.  I would grant a boon before I go, if your faith allows.”

Captain Mason looked away from Donna then.  “Our biggest regret,” he said softly.  “You speak of healing, so perhaps...  Rina and I met in a military hospital.  My wounds were minor but hers were grievous.  She’s healthy now, but for one thing - she’s infertile.  She so very much wants children of her own.”

“Done,” said Donna softly.

“Just like that?”

Donna laughed then.  “You understand what you’re talking to, right?”

“Perhaps I do not.  But thank you for the gift.  It will be treasured.”  The Captain saluted her, and Donna returned it belatedly.  And only after the door had closed did she realize that Duncan had instinctively used the Boy Scout salute.  The realization had her giggling as she appeared in Doctor Sakurai’s office once more.

Arwen smiled at her.  “Someone’s in a better mood.”

“I suppose.  Still hiding from the worst of it, but... helping Ruby was good.  I also learned that my screwup in Toronto did not kill thousands.  The floors I destroyed were offices, not residences.  I’m still terrified I could nuke something in anger, but it feels a little more manageable.”

Arwen studied Donna, then gestured to the couch.  “Sit.  Fully human.”

Donna did so without hesitation.  “Why human?”

“You’re easier to read this way.  And this is the part of you that’s hurting the most.  You’re talking around the worst of it.”

Donna looked puzzled.  “Fearing for the safety of the world in my presence isn’t the worst of it?”

“No.  The loss of Gwen is.”

Donna’s tears welled up.  She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.  She’s the one that kept me sane, kept me from becoming a hazard to everyone around me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Donna looked up.  “What do you mean?  She’s the one that stopped me in Toronto.”

“What little she could do would not have forced you to stop.  What did you feel?”

“Horror,” whispered Donna.  “At what I was about to do in my grief and rage.”

“And was that Gwen, or your memory of what Gwen would want?”

Donna shook her head.  “I know what I felt.  Even in death, Gwen’s...”  She bit back a sob.  “Gwen’s morality shone bright.”

“And does it shine bright for you now?”

Donna stared at Arwen.  “What?”

“If you had to face the same choice, right now, what would you do?”

“Not incinerate millions of innocent people,” replied Donna without hesitation.

“See?”

Donna closed her eyes and curled her hands into fists, growling her frustration.  “It’s not the same.  When I get angry...”

“Are you angry at me now?”

“Not nearly angry enough to hurt you,” said Donna.  A moment later, Duncan was sitting in her place.  “I know myself well enough to know that if you pissed me off enough, if you hurt me bad enough... yes.  I would lash out with what was to hand.  And tonight, that included improvised nuclear weapons.”

“You can’t tell me those were ‘to hand’,” said Arwen.  “How long did it take to design them, to create them?”

“An eyeblink,” replied Duncan seriously.  “It felt like longer, but it was a fraction of a second from impulse to action.  My mind runs ferociously fast on these nights, when I need it to.”

“Donna’s not the one who built the nukes, then,” said Arwen.  “You did.”

Duncan inclined his head to acknowledge the accusation.  “We work on different scales.  It is uncommon for us to both be enraged enough for her to desire the strike, and me to carry it out.”

“And Dia?  What is her role in all this?”

“Their role.  Dia... is greater than us, and subsumes us.”  Duncan frowned.  “And at times, has controlled us both.  Dia?”

The form on the couch changed once again, to a pillar of crystal.  “We are not human,” they said in a voice of echoing crystal.  “While it may not make your job easier...  This is the truth of us.”

Arwen nodded to the crystal.  “Why did you allow it?”

“The ghouls needed to die.  Their chosen method worked.  We did not consider the collateral damage.”

“Why not?”

“Understand this about us.  We are not human.  We are ageless and functionally immortal.”

Arwen shuddered.  “So you don’t care about humans?  Are we like some kind of insects to you?”

“We care very deeply.  About some humans.  Not all.”

“Why not?”

Arwen could feel the crystal’s regard upon her, and slumped back into her seat as if a great weight was pressing upon her.

“Do not presume that you can understand us.”

Arwen struggled to sit up.  “The question stands.”

“You do not fear me.”

Arwen’s smile was broad.  “Because I know you.  And you know me.  You will not hurt me.”

“No.”  The crystal’s attention turned elsewhere.  “The others out there...  The ones we do not know.  The cold equations do not favour them so highly.”

“The loss of any of us diminishes us all,” offered Arwen.

“That is not true.  The loss of the worst would improve the rest.”

“And are you ready to stand that judgement?   Because I don’t think Donna is.”

Donna was suddenly on the couch, drawing an unsteady breath.  “Dia are not so bad once you get to know them.  It’s not like they’d set out to slaughter the unworthy.”

“They are also not going to help here, are they?”

“Dia would like to.  They’re not used to not understanding.  Or to helplessness.”

Arwen leaned forward.  “That’s it, isn’t it?  You feel helpless.”

Donna glanced away, then turned her head back to meet Arwen’s gaze steadily.  “Yes.  We who can topple great buildings and restore them.  Who have brought the dead back to life.  This... this we cannot do.  She is in the hands of fate... and all I know about healing souls says I have to wait.  I could crack Ettie open right now to see what has become of Gwen... but I know that to do so would be disastrous.  I am rudderless, adrift, and terrified.”

“Good, good.”  Arwen jotted a note on her pad.

“What?”

“You’ve admitted it.  It feels like you’re starting to accept what has come to pass.  There will still be grief, but also hope.”

Donna looked uncertain.  “I guess.  Talking has helped.  What do I do now?”

“Go home.  Hug your family.  Does Sidney know?”

“Oh hell!” exclaimed Donna.  “Sidney!”

“You haven’t told her?”

A moment later Donna started laughing.  “Robo-Duncan’s there, and watching over her sleeping on the couch.  She fell asleep hours ago, reading to Courtney.  She’s missed everything.”