Kate looked around at the others, who were all staring at her.  “What?  Unit Kate was always a part of me.  I liked being her, but...”

“But the brain hack fell apart,” said Dia, their crystalline body drifting closer to examine Kate.  “How long?”

Kate shrugged.  “A while now.  I’ve messed with hypnosis enough before that I’ve learned how to deal with it.  It sort of became play-acting, and a role I wanted to keep.  But if you have something better...”

Dia chuckled resonantly.  “I do.  I can make you just a passenger in your own body, a small crystal like the one the waitresses have... except that the crystal would be you.  All your body’s senses would be relayed to it.”

“Sounds like a promising start.  Hit me!”

Sidney stared at the robotic body of Kate in confusion.  “There are people who like the idea of being... like that?”

Dia bobbed a nod.  “Kate’s something of an extreme.”

“I heard that!” said Kate, voice sounding distant and more synthetic than before.  “Wow, it’s like I’m playing a VR simulation of myself in here.  I can see the grain in the display.”

“That was what bugged me,” grumbled Sidney.  “I could tell it wasn’t real.”

“I have apologized for that repeatedly.  I’ve come up with some ways to up the bandwidth further to get rid of the artifacts.  Should I try that?”

“Nah,” said Kate.  “But... if you could turn the bandwidth up, can you also turn it down?  Make my experience even more synthetic?”

Dia considered the issue.  “Should be doable.  I could even throw in some more stuff...”

Kate looked around the room in wonder.  “Oh!  That was quick.  Cooool.”

“What are you seeing?” asked Ray.

“There’s a sort of wireframe mesh overlaying anything I look at, and a pop-up like an AI is trying to identify the object.  It’s doing well on furniture and most of you guys, but Little Izzy confuses the heck out of it.”

“Hm.  So if I gave you the ability to correct the AI where it’s having trouble... but otherwise let the AI run things, would that work?”

“I’d be teaching it how to replace me?” asked Kate eagerly.  “Oh, yeah!  Hit me.”

Dia went quiet as she worked.  Unit Kate held perfectly still, and the bright blue line of her eyes faded too black.

“Um, hello?”  Sidney waved a hand in front of Dia.  Ray shushed her, pointing out that Dia was likely rather busy.  Sidney chuckled, and noted that Duncan often got like that too.

Unit Kate’s eyes lit up, and in a synthetic voice it pronounced “Unit Kate AI online.  What are your orders?”

“Grant Kate output access,” said Dia.

“I can speak now?” asked Kate.  “Oh!  So I can.  What else can you turn on and off?”

“Motor control at various granularities, and all your senses.

“Cool!  Show me.”

“Unit Kate, cut off Kate’s vision for five seconds, and shut off her ability to speak.”

Unit Kate stood quietly.

“What is it waiting for?” asked Ray.  “Time’s up.”

“On vision, yes.  She can see but not speak.”

“Unit Kate, let Kate speak,” said Ray.

“Woo!  That rocked,” exclaimed Kate’s voice.  “Did you mean to make it impossible to think about words?”

Dia giggled.  “Did I forget to mention that the AI can selectively shut off higher brain functions?  Oops.  I’m sure you’ll figure out everything it can do.  I’d suggest leaving Kate on for a while, though.  The Unit Kate AI is pretty simplistic.  Follow orders, do simple tasks.  But it’s malleable, and teachable.  With Kate in there training it, soon you’ll have a proper Kate AI.”

“And then you’ll shut me down?” asked Kate eagerly.

“You’ll have to ask the others about that.  The AI will listen to you about learning, but you can’t give it orders.”

“Sweet.”

“Sweet?” demanded Sidney.  “How on earth is that a good thing?  You’re a prisoner in that body.”

“Completely at the mercy of whoever’s on the voice access list, yes,” enthused Kate.  “Who is, by the way?”

“Ray and I have authority to set who can control you, but right now it’s set to ‘anyone except Kate’.”

“Good, you closed the loophole.  So what can Unit Kate do for you now?”

Ray grinned.  “Unit Kate, mute Kate.  If everyone is finished with their dinner, go clear the rest of the dishes then bring out dessert.”

Unit Kate stood still for a moment, blue eye-lights flickering uncertainly.  Then it turned to the table, and politely inquired if Courtney was finished with her dinner.  At Sidney’s prompting, Courtney admitted that she was.  Unit Kate thanked her, then proceeded to stack the plates.  Her movements were jerky at first, but quickly smoothed out.

“Hah,” said Ray.  “Learning already?  I wonder how long it’ll take to make the AI good enough to pass a Turing test.”

“Generic, or from someone who knows Kate?” asked Dia.  “In either case, it’ll be a while.  Though with Kate inside to feed answers as needed, I suspect Unit Kate could pass soon enough.”

They watched Unit Kate glide silently from the room.  “I think Unit Kate could use a hand,” said Ray, indicating the inert blue sculpture.  “Could you set up Unit Cobalt like that, but with you inside and stuck the same way?”

“Inside, sure.  Stuck... no.  I could slip out any time I like.”

Ray’s grin broadened.  “Good thing you promised to take whatever shape I requested, then.  Go on, in you go.”

Dia vanished, and a moment later the Cobalt robot stood up.  “Unit Cobalt ready for action, sir!”

Ray laughed.  “And the AI.  So you can train it up to act just like Cobalt.”

“I think to get a proper Cobalt personality into the AI, you’ll need to do the training.  I could set you up with a waitress style crystal, so you can inhabit this body whenever you like.  You’d be able to go back to being Ray whenever, but the internal crystal would have similar constraints to Kate.  No mental shutdowns, though.”

Ray mulled that over, and eventually nodded. “Makes sense.  You’re still first shift, though.  Get her past the clumsy phase.  Unit Cobalt, mute your passenger and go help Unit Kate.”

Unit Cobalt turned and walked out of the room without comment.

Sidney’s mouth gaped open as she watched the petite blue robot sashay off toward the kitchen.  “Did... did you just turn my husband into a mindless robot?”

“Not at all,” said Ray reassuringly.  “He’s merely inhabiting it for a time.  It’s not like Duncan or Donna can really be stuck as anything.”

“Then what’s the point of it?”

The robots returned bearing trays of fruit and baked treats.  Ray watched them with a smile.  “The point is that Kate needs some company.  And to be honest, I think Donna needs this as well, the company of someone who loves being a robot.  Yes?”

Sidney sighed.  “I suspect you’re right.”  She headed toward the table where the desserts were being set out, then stopped at a gesture from Ray.  “What?”

“We have two serving robots who would love to be ordered about.  Ask them to serve.”

Sidney watched for a minute as several of the others asked the robots for this treat or that.  Isolde in particular seemed to be getting some kind of special glee out of sending Cobalt back for a single thing at a time, making her scoot back and forth, and then toss a treat up in the air for Little Izzy to catch.

Even Courtney got in on the act before Sidney did, asking her transformed father quite politely to bring her some dessert.  She clapped as the pretty blue robot set the plate in front of her.  “Thank you Daddy-bot!”

Unit Cobalt curtsied neatly, then stood awaiting another order.  Sidney looked it over curiously.  “Unit Cobalt, are you enjoying this?”

“I am happy to serve,” said Unit Cobalt in a lilting voice that did not seem synthetic at all.  “May I fetch something for you?”

“Is your passenger happy?”

“Oh, yes.  They told me to say the challenge is quite rewarding.”

“Challenge?”

“To make me seem real.  Do I seem real to you?” asked Unit Cobalt.

“Almost too real,” muttered Sidney.

Unit Cobalt ducked its head.  “I am sorry if I have disturbed you.  Shall I ask Unit Kate to serve you instead?”

“No, that’s fine,” said Sidney.  “Please fetch me a small plate of treats, half of it fruit.”

“As you wish.”  Unit Cobalt curtsied and smoothly walked away, swaying gently on slim metal legs.

“I should not be finding my husband sexy,” grumbled Sidney.

“Why not?” asked Ray in a soft voice, pitch shifting higher.

Sidney turned to look at Ray, startled to see Ray’s chest growing.  “Oh, right.  I’m asking the wrong person.  Ana?  You married... uh... Ray.  What do you think of this?”

Ana slinked up against Ray, snuggling in under her arm.  “I love it.  Did they tell you Ray spent a month as a little blue vixen who thought she was Cobalt, our maid?  She was so sweet like that, and some of it rubbed off on Ray, but mostly only shows up when she’s female.  She’ll even let me dress her up in cute dresses.  Sometimes.”

Ray chuckled.  “And you’ve got one for me waiting in the changing room, I bet.”

“Go see,” said Ana, bumping Ray with her hip.  “No, go put it on.  You’ll know it when you see it.”

Ana nimbly perched herself in the chair next to Sidney’s.  “You’re still looking boggled.  Ray’s having fun, I’m having fun.  What’s the problem?”

“You don’t... resent him?  Her, I mean?  God, this is so confusing.”

Ana giggled.  “For being sexy?  Hell no.  I’m not competing with her for guys, I’ve got no reason to be jealous.”  She watched as Unit Cobalt sashayed back to set a plate in front of Sidney.  “Though I can see being a mite turned on...”  She looked over and spotted Sidney’s blush.  “Oh, is that the problem?”

“Yes!  I…”  Sidney’s gaze turned to where the shiny blue robot was playing fetch for Courtney and Victor.  “She’s all sparkly and pretty.  Ever since that Valentine’s Day I’ve…”  Sidney shook her head sand looked away.

“Was that the one where she was stuck as a catgirl?” asked Ana gently.  At Sidney’s nod she put a paw on the woman’s arm.  “I am sorry about that.”

Sidney sniffed.  “Why are you sorry?”

“He didn’t tell you?  I’m the one Donna turned into a catgirl.  It’s not like I wanted her to get stuck, that was some kind of mistake…  I felt terrible about it.  At first because she got to be a catgirl while I went back to being human…  But then Rowan told me about the other.  How’d you handle it?”

Sidney sighed and turned back to face Ana.  “Not great.  I was pissed off that my husband was stuck as a woman again.  The fur didn’t bother me, thankfully I wasn’t allergic to it.  If it hadn’t been for  Valentine’s Day, I might have enjoyed having a big kitty in the house.”

“But?” prompted Ana when the silence stretched on.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Ana rolled her eyes.  Then she spotted Ray emerging from the changing room.  She was wearing a shiny blue one-piece swimsuit and looking a little uncertain.  “Hey sexy!”  Ana called, then wolf-whistled at her husband.  “C’mere and let me see.”

Ray bounded over and posed for Ana.  “I feel like a piece of meat when you look at me like that.”

Ana growled gutturally and prowled up to Ray, nipping at the fur on his neck.  “And you love it.  Cobalt.”

Ray looked down at the suit, then back up to Ana’s lustful eyes.  “Yes, Mistress,” she answered in a soft, lilting voice.

“Go fetch Donna.  I want…”  Ana glanced over at Sidney then leaned in close to whisper to her sweetie.

Ray curtsied and trotted off toward the blue robot.  It’s head turned to Ana and nodded.  Ana purred happily as she felt her body shift.

“I heard what you asked,” said Sidney.  “Why?”

“Because when I get her like this, I want to…” Ana’s gaze turned to the giggling kids.  Courtney was growing a mermaid’s tail.  “Uh, you know what I want if you heard.”

“But how can you…”

Ana grinned toothily.  “Because it’s fun to be the pitcher instead of the catcher.  You should try…  Oh!  You did!”  Sidney’s blush confirmed Ana’s guess.  “Didn’t you like it?”

“I liked it too much,” whispered Sidney.  “What’s wrong with me?”

Ana laughed loudly, drawing a resentful look from Sidney.  “Oh, girl, there’s nothing wrong with you at all.  Tell her.  She’ll do you right.  Heck, tell her right now, it looks like Unit Cobalt is obeying all change requests.”

Sidney followed Ana’s gaze.  “Courtney!” she called.  “Did you just turn your brother into a pool toy?”

“No,” called the mermaid-girl.  “Daddybot did.  I just asked.”

Sidney sighed.  “Why?”

“So he can go in the pool.”  Courtney splashed into the water, carrying the inflatable dinosaur.

Sidney shook her head then turned back to her plate of desserts.  “I guess they’re both having fun.”

“Exactly,” said Ana.

Courtney started a trend, and most of the others jumped into the pool while the robots cleaned up.  Sidney sat at the edge of the pool and watched, as she hadn’t brought her swimming suit.  Not that that had stopped any of the others.  Isolde had jumped into the pool in her usual outfit.  That it closely resembled a black scaly bikini probably was a factor.

Isolde got into an epic splash-fight against Courtney and Vanessa, her wings versus their mermaid tails.  It seemed to be an even fight, and mostly served to drench everyone else in the pool.

Once Courtney tired of that, she finned her way to where her mother sat.  “Are you going to swim?”

“I’ll think about it,” Sidney replied noncommittally.

Courtney eyed her mother skeptically, already familiar with what that phrase usually meant.  She dove back into the pool.

Sidney sighed and rose from her seat.  Before she could call for it, Unit Cobalt was by her side.  “Can I do anything for you?”

“Can you make me a swimsuit?” asked Sidney.

“Easily,” replied the robot.  “Shall I?”  It asked eagerly.

“Yes please.”  Sidney’s eyes went wide when she felt the transformation start nibbling away at her toes.  Then she laughed.  “You’re awfully literal, aren’t you?”

“Do you mind?” asked the robot, helping Sidney to sit down again as her legs turned hollow.

“I...  No.”  Sidney watched her legs vanish into her hips, and marvelled briefly at the scaly pattern growing over the rest of her.  She poked at her hollowing belly with fabric hands.  “This feels nice.”

Unit Cobalt formed a bright blue smile.  “Oh, good.”

Sidney smiled back, then collapsed the rest of the way into a small pile of fabric.  Unit Cobalt picked up the resulting scale-patterned swimsuit, and carried it over to Ray.

“Is that Sidney?” Ray asked.  At the robot’s nod, she grinned.  “Someone should wear her.  You can come out now, Donna.”

Donna appeared within the suit, swiftly growing to full size and settling it in place.  The swimsuit was little more than a scaly green bikini with an hourglass-shaped panel of connecting fabric that left her back, sides, and much of her front exposed.  She posed sexily, grinning at Ray’s reaction.  “Thanks, Ray.  I bet Courtney would like it if Auntie Daddy went swimming with her.”

“No bet on that,” said Ray.  “Have you set up the crystal thing so I can take a turn in the robot?”

Donna nodded.  “A while back.  I just left an interlock so it would only be you or me.  You should be able to... whoop.” She caught Ray as he toppled, and settled him in a chair.  “Yeah, maybe only do that while you’re sitting down.”

Unit Cobalt giggled.  “Oops.  Thanks for the save.”

Donna flashed the robot a grin.  “You’re welcome.  Oh, and Unit Cobalt, would you be so kind as to fetch some towels for us?”

“Of course.  Back in a flash!”  Cobalt darted off, moving more nimbly than Unit Kate ever had.  

Donna chuckled, knowing Ray was having fun.  She turned to the pool, waved to Courtney, then dove in and swam to her daughter’s side.  “Hey sweetie.  Mommy’s swimming after all.”

Courtney looked around.  “Where Mommy?”

Donna pointed to her suit.  “I’m wearing her.  Doesn’t she look pretty?”

Courtney nodded seriously.  “Very pretty.  Prettier if you had a mermaid tail.”

Donna giggled as one formed, starting just below where Sidney left off.  “I think you’re right.  Let’s swim!”

They cavorted and played in the pool.  Vanessa joined with them, swimming even more nimbly in her long-familiar mermaid form.  Nissa joined in on the fun, asking for octopus legs.  Courtney thought that having a white-tentacled Ursula in the pool with them was perfect, and asked to have her brother turned into a colourful fish so he could swim with them too.

For Donna the play ended when Ray waved to get her attention.  She used her mermaid tail and a touch of power to propel herself out of the water, to land on the edge of the pool on feet instead of a tail.  She grabbed one of the towels Unit Cobalt had brought to dry off as she approached Ray.  “What’s up?”

“There’s a visitor here for you.  Agent Mackie.  Says it’s important.”

Donna sighed, and handed Ray the towel.  “Thanks, I’ll go see what he wants.”  She spun a terrycloth robe out of the air and shrugged into it as she headed for the door.

Unit Cobalt was waiting by the door with Agent Mackie.  “Hello Donna,” said the robot.  “You have a visitor.”

“Thank you, Unit Cobalt.  You did will to have Ray call me.”

The robot formed a smile, then sashayed back toward the pool.

Agent Mackie watched it go, eyebrows raised.  “We do not have that level of technology.  What was that?”

“Technology crafted by magic,” answered Donna with a curtsy.  “What can I do for CSIS?”

“I have bad news,” said Mackie grimly.  The excess death rate in Toronto has risen sharply over the last two days.”

“How many are we talking about?”

“You have to understand, Toronto’s big enough that on average over a hundred people die every day, mostly of natural causes.  Even averaged over that many, there can be substantial swings from day to day... but we’re talking several hundred excess deaths per day for the past two days, and even more tonight.  We’re covering it up as best we can.  There’s been a surge of gang violence that’s making headlines, traffic fatalities are up... but the bulk of the butcher’s work is being done in the hospitals.  We’re calling it a particularly virulent strain of influenza for now, but the truth is... they’re just dying of no obvious cause.”

“So it’s Wilhelm.  Gathering power.”  Donna cursed softly.  “I suppose it was inevitable he’d dig in.  This is going to get messy.  Have you distributed silver to the populace?”

Agent Mackie nodded.  “We dumped a huge amount of cheap silver jewelry on the local market, with a subtle push to make it a local fad.  It worked, but we think it also tipped our hand, as that program went live on Monday and the excess deaths started two days later.”

Donna sighed.  “Tell Bunhill I’ll meet them at the usual place and time.  We’ll go from there.”

“Thank you.”  Agent Mackie saluted Donna sharply, and she returned it almost as sharply.  “I know it doesn’t amount to much, but you have our gratitude.”

Donna smiled at him brilliantly.  “Trust me, that means more than you think.  I’ll do what I can.”

After Agent Mackie had left, Donna looked down at her swimsuit.  “Out you come, I can feel your distress from here.”  She flicked out of existence briefly to remove the swimsuit, and soon it was expanding into Sidney once more.  Her street clothes had been replaced by a purple swimsuit in a conservative cut, and Donna was wearing a matching suit in red.  Before Sidney could speak, Donna grinned at her.  “I could also feel how much fun you were having being worn, so save the protests about that.”

Sidney blushed.  “I didn’t...”  At Donna’s look she laughed.  “Fine, you’re right.  Do you really have to go off to war again?”

“You heard what was happening.  They’re killing people in industrial lots.  I can’t let that stand.”

“Does it have to be you?”  Sidney buried her face in her hands.  “I get so worried when you do this.”

Donna let her Goddess-self out, growing to a giant crystalline woman.  Ray’s entrance hall was two stories tall, and she used all that height.  “Look at me.”  She carefully kept the power from forcing obedience, but Sidney uncovered her eyes even so.  “What do you see?”

Sidney’s mouth worked wordlessly, her face a mask of awe.  Donna sighed, and compressed back down to human scale but retained part of her crystalline aspect.  “I am not going unarmed.”

“I...  What are you?”

“Magic incarnate.  Wilhelm has chosen his course, and I have chosen mine.  It ends when the full Moon rises.”

“But you might die!” protested Sidney.

“And if I don’t, where will the ghoul stop?  I’ve created a power vacuum, one he’ll be quite happy to fill.  Keep in mind that Wilhelm is the one behind the plot to blow me up.  He won’t stop until I’m dead, or he is, and the sooner I stop him the better.  I promise, I’ll do my best to come back to you.  Gwen will be there, too, she’ll help keep me safe.”

Sidney managed a weak smile.  “She’s saved you before.”

“It’s her role, shield to my sword.”  Donna pulled Sidney into a hug.  “It’ll be okay.  Come on, let’s get back to see what the kids are up to.”

“It’s getting late, we should take them home,” said Sidney, leading the way.

After the predictable fuss, Courtney and Victor were returned to their normal forms and dried off.  Courtney was mollified by a new princess dress spun out of sparkles, but such bribes had little traction with Victor.  He got a new toy car instead.

“Last chance for changes,” called out Donna.  “Any takers?  Nissa?”

“Nah, I’ll rock the tentacle look for a bit.  Gwen can change me back at the Blue Vixen if I get tired of it.”

“Unit Kate?”

“Yes?”

Donna laughed.  “Let Kate speak.  Kate, how are you doing?  Happy?”

“Deliriously so.  This is incredible!  Thank you so much.”  Unit Kate hugged Donna tight.  Then said, “Unit Kate, shut Kate down.”

Donna shook her head.  “Ray, keep an eye on this one.”

“Of course.  We’ll see you soon.”

* * *

Back at home, once the kids were asleep, Sidney asked Duncan to follow her into the bedroom.  “Can you make sure we won’t disturb the kids?”

“Shrink, gags, or turning them into plushies?”

“Much as the last is appealing…  Shrink.  I want to talk.”

Duncan lifted Sidney’s dwindling form onto the bed, then blinked beside her at six inches tall.  Once she’d reached a matching height, he asked what was up.

“You’re heading into danger again.  And for all your confidence, you might not come back.”

Duncan nodded, waiting for his wife to continue.

Sidney took a deep breath.  “I want a do-over on Valentine’s Day.  Except without a strap-on.”

Duncan was suddenly Donna, with a feline muzzle and triangular ears.  “This Valentine’s?”

Sidney nodded, reaching out to cup a furred breast.  “You liked it?”

“I loved it.  How much should I change you?  Just the bits, or all the way male?”

“You wouldn’t be…  I don’t know…  Worried about your masculinity.”

Donna laughed out loud.  “Look at me!  I want this more than I can say.  If you’re willing, I’ll make you a hunk.”

Sidney wrung her hands together, then shook her head.  “No.  Just... me as a guy.”  She stared down at her body as she lost curves and gained muscle definition.  Sidney flexed an arm.  “I feel stronger.  A lot stronger.  Is that normal?”

Donna giggled.  “What makes you think I have the slightest clue what normal is?  C’mere, you.”  She flopped to her back, tugging Sidney toward her.

Sidney knelt over his... he found he couldn’t think of Donna as his husband.  Another word came to mind instead.  “My wife...  No, no this is all wrong.”

Donna’s face fell.  “I... sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you into this.  I’ll change you b...”  She was silenced by a finger to her muzzle.

“Not that.  I want you to be all Donna, not a catgirl.  We’re going to do this right.  Make yourself fully human.”

Donna’s grin nearly lit up the room.