Trust Machines - Weather or Not
 (featuring characters and situations by JMD1961)

Bradley Sherwood was not happy.  His weathergirl was missing, and her segment was up in five minutes.  “Okay, let's go over this again. Where is Janice?”

Tina sighed and pointed to the cardboard cutout.  “Janice is right here.  She got into an escalating series of Venn duels, and lost.  You saw her like this earlier, and didn't say anything.”

“I could have sworn she was real.  She waved at me, and said hello!”

Tina waggled the arm of the cutout, and mimicked Janice's voice.  “Hi Mr. Sherwood!  Sorry my joke fell a little flat.”

Bradley snickered, and ran a hand through his thinning grey hair. He tried not to pull any more out.  “Right. Will she back to normal in the next...”  He checked his watch.  “Four minutes?”

Tina continued the mimicry, tilting the cutout to make it look like Janice was shaking her head.  “Sorry boss. My smile's going to be pasted for the next month.”  Tina continued in her own voice, “And it's a ten minute drive to the mall.”

“Damn it. A lot of people tune in just to see her.”

“A lot of horny young guys, you mean.  Just stand her up in front of the green-screen, and have someone read the weather.  Who'll notice?”  Tina asked with a furtive grin.

Bradley looked the young woman over, and raised an eyebrow.  “You’ve wanted this slot for a long time now.  And you do know the forecast way better than she does.  I’m given to understand you ‘translate’ it for her?”

“Yes, sir.”

Bradley looked at the clock and nodded sharply.  “No other choice now anyway.  Against my better judgement, you're on in three.  Hide behind her, read out the forecast, and don’t mess it up.”

Tina nodded eagerly.  “I'll do my best!”

Bradley shrugged.  “As long as they have their eye-candy.”

When Dirk Martino wrapped up his segment, he gestured toward the weather station.  “And now here's Janice with the...”  he broke up laughing, and couldn't finish.

The camera cut over to the thin cardboard cutout of Janice the weather girl, standing in front of the green screen that would display the weather map to the audience.  The cutout tottered, turned toward the anchor desk, and bobbed a nod.  “Thanks, Dirk,” came Tina's extra-chipper version of Janice's voice.

The cutout turned back to the audience, and waved.  “A word of advice.  Using a Venn Machine for weight loss can work a liiiitle bit better than you might think.”  The cutout turned sideways, showing just how thin it was, then back to the audience.  There were giggles from various staff members.

Tina then launched Janice into a sillier than usual take on the weather, bouncing her around the stage like a giant puppet.  At one point she had the cameraman laughing so hard that it looked like there was an earthquake happening in the station, which of course Tina played up and made things even worse.

After the show wrapped, Mr. Sherwood asked Tina to wait in his office.  She waited in the chair nervously, wondering just how fired she was.  

Andy slipped into the office after a few minutes, and gave her a thumbs’ up.  “That was hilarious!  I had no idea you had that in you.”

Tina grinned at her boyfriend.  “You know, I’ve imagined this day for so long that... no, I had no idea it would be like that either.  That was fun!  And that it was actually Janice, too...”  She started giggling.  “Even if I am fired, I don’t care.  It was so worth it.”

“Mr. Sherwood’s won’t fire you for that.  He was laughing, too, I saw him.  He may not show it much, but he’s a softie.  Aaaand, he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Tina nodded, and Andy scooted out of the office.  Mr. Sherwood closed the door behind him.  “Well.  You’ve created quite the stir.”

“I just wanted to have a little fun with it,” Tina said, nervously.

Mr. Sherwood's face was stern.  “We got an awful lot of calls after the weather.”

“Oh dear. I'll make sure she gets changed back for tomor...”

Bradley cut her off with a gesture and a grin.  “No!  Leave her just as she is.  Almost everyone loved it!  We're going to do it exactly the same way for the rest of the week, and see how the reactions trend.”

Tina grinned hugely. “Really!  Oh, that's such a relief... I thought... Never mind what I thought.  Um, what about Janice?”

“She should have known better.  At least she can still do her job.”

Tina bounced out of the office and right into Andy’s arms.  “I’m not fired.  I get to do the weather all week!”

“And Janice?”

Tina grinned wickedly.  “Will be reprising her role, too.  I’m going to need soooo many more flat jokes.”

“I’m sure we can come up with a bunch more.  We’ll steamroller ‘em!”

Tina groaned.  “Enough.  I want to go celebrate.”

“Can we do the same thing we did last night?”  Andy wheedled.

“Watch Janice lose a duel?  I don’t think that’s an option for the next month,” Tina teased.

“You know what I meant.”

Tina giggled.  “Yes I do.  And yes, but with one change...”  Tina leaned in to whisper in Andy’s ear, getting a little gasp in response.

“You’d do that?” asked Andy.

Tina grinned eagerly.  “I’m feeling pretty dominant right now.  Girlfriend.”

On their way out of the building Tina paused and said, “Pay up, I won.”

Andy laughed and pulled out two twenty dollar bills.  “You did at that, sweetie.  You did at that.”

* * *

The weather segment got even more popular as the week continued.  Tina couldn’t believe her good fortune.  Every night she was more excited than the last, even after her segment was done.  Andy was happy for her, and for her resulting enthusiasm once the show was over.  Especially because there was a Venn Machine equipped mall quite close to the route from work to her place.

Friday was another matter.  Tina was all a-flutter because it was the last show of her trial period, and she wanted it to go well.  Worse, they’d run out of flat jokes.  Andy was pretty creative, but there were only so many they could think of so they were starting to recycle them.

“Come on, there’s got to be some way I can end this on a laugh,” moaned Tina.

“What’s the weather like tonight?”

“Windy, scattered cloud, chance of rain,” Tina rattled off without even needing to consult her charts.

“Maybe you could suggest that it’s perfect kite flying weather, and use Janice as an impromptu kite?”

Tina bounced up and down excitedly.  “That’s perfect!  Ooh, I can’t wait for the weather now...”

Unfortunately in practice it proved a little less than perfect.  The weather segment went well, getting a few titters out of the crew, until Tina held Janice up like a kite and mimed launching her.  Unfortunately, her grip slipped, and Janice went sailing out across the set, the camera tracking her the entire way, sweeping across the surprised faces at the other desks, and Dirk’s smirk.

“Does she get frequent flyer miles for that?” Dirk asked.

Tina looked horrified, and her eyes sought out Andy.  The camera was swinging back toward her at the weather desk, and he made encouraging go-on gestures.  So Tina straightened up her posture, shoved out what little breast she had to display, and braved on.  “Tomorrow should be nice and clear, perfect picnic weather.  Andthat’stheweather, goodnight.”

Tina froze in place, pasting her best grin on her face until the red lamp on the camera finally dimmed.  She collapsed, catching herself on the weather desk with a huge sigh, then marched herself toward Mr. Sherwood’s office without even being asked.

As before, Andy came in to sit beside her for moral support.  “It wasn’t that bad,” he ventured.

“I sent her flying across the newsroom.  It was pretty bad.”

“And kinda funny,” Andy said with a grin.  “She always was a lightweight.”

Tina snickered, then started to giggle.  “Stop it.”

When Bradley Sherwood entered the office, Andy waited beside Tina.  That earned him a raised eyebrow, but he wasn’t sent out.  “Quite a performance tonight, Tina.  Were you planning on further aerobatics through the next week?”

“Uh, no sir.  That was an accident, I swear!”

“Good.  It’s one thing to use her as a prop, another to risk...” Tina’s boss frowned.  “Would damaging her hurt her?”

“No sir,” said Andy promptly.  “We could put her through an industrial shredder or a laminator and she’d be completely unharmed when she changed back.”

“Ah.  Still, doing her ‘job’ is one thing, and stunts like that are showing her more disrespect than she deserves.”

“Really?” asked Andy.  “Have you noticed how much happier everyone has been without Janice around?”

Ignoring Andy’s comment, the station manager continued, “Still.  Everyone has seen you now.  And I’m sorry to say, you don’t have the look we need in a weathergirl.”

Tina gasped.  “But... but...  The whole point of me interning here was to...”

He raised a hand, and Tina stopped blubbering.  “I know, I know.  And I’m not saying you’ve got a face made for radio, or anything like that.  You’d do fine at a newsdesk, but for weather there are certain... expectations.”

Tina stared down at her A-cup breasts.  “I see.  So what now?”

“Two choices.  Restore Janice, let her have the job back.  Or continue to hide behind her.”

“Really?” Tina asked, wonderingly.

“Andy was right.  I have noticed a real change among the staff this last week.  Keep having fun with it, but... yeah, no more of...” he waved his hands at Tina’s body.  “That.”

Tina and Andy left the building, his arm around her supportively.  “Well.  That stinks.”

“Hey, you still get to do the weather.  Maybe you can get noticed by another station?” encouraged Andy.

“Bah.  Janice will never write a letter of recommendation now.”

Andy shrugged.  “She was never going to anyway.  No loss.”

Tina sighed.  “This bites.  Can we just go home, tonight?”

“But I...  How about we try a role reversal tonight?” Andy wheedled.

“I thought that’s what we have been doing,” snickered Tina.

“Trust me.”

Tina shrugged, and let Andy take the lead for once.  Once they were in the Venn Machine, she waited to see what he would do.  And waited.  “What are you up to?”

“Sorry.  This is harder than it looks.”

“What are you do-ooing?” asked Tina in a singsong voice.  “I just wanna go home.”

Andy tapped a couple more times, then sighed.  “This isn’t quite what I was going for, OK?”  

Tina stared down at her changed body, then started to laugh.  “You were trying to do this?”

“No!  It just... when I asked for ‘more boobs’, that’s what I got, and everything I tried to fix it made it worse.”

“Well, at least the top pair are bigger than my old ones.  C’mon, let’s give this a try.”

Andy grinned.  “Cool.”

Afterward, Andy mused that he preferred quality over quantity.  Tina giggled.  “Yeah.  You left most of them alone.  I should have given you more arms.  Or turned you into an octopus, or something.”

“You’d want to make love to an octopus?” asked Andy, incredulously.

Tina pretended to think about it for a bit.  “Nah.  But... I may try giving you tentacles sometime.  Could be fun, right?”

Andy tilted his head, then shrugged.  “It’d be different, that’s for sure.  I guess if I was still partially human it’d be OK.”

“Tomorrow night?” asked Tina.  “You can give me these again...” she teased, indicating her elongated chest.

“Actually, I was only trying to make you curvier.  You know, so you could do the weather.”

Tina sat up and stared at Andy.  “Really?  You think that would work?”

“Won’t know until we try,” replied Andy.  “Show up with Janice’s curves, and maybe Mr. S. will let you read the weather without the prop.”

“Aww, but the prop is part of the act now,” said Tina.  Before Andy could argue, she held up a hand.  “I still want to show myself, too.”

Getting Tina curvy proved more problematic than they’d figured.  They’d both made limited use of the Venn Machines before, but not for anything subtle.  Andy’s first two tries produced comically oversized breasts, the second set of which tugged upward like helium balloons.  Tina decided to keep those, and that ended the experimentation for Saturday.  Well, the experimentation with the Venn Machines, anyway.

On Sunday, Andy had the inspiration of printing off a picture of Janice from the station’s website, and bringing that to the Venn Machine.  It took a few tries to get the machine to recognize the printout in his hand as worthy of attention.

“Ooops.”

“What now?” sighed Tina.

“I may have picked a poster of Janice, except it’s moving when you do.”

Tina laughed.  “Well, it’s a start.  Hit me.”

“Seriously?”

Tina shrugged.  “Maybe it’ll get the idea.”

Tina fluttered to the floor.  Yup, she thought to herself.  I’m a poster.

Andy kept her like that for long enough to get a little worried.  Then she felt herself pressed between plates, and a band of warmth travel up and down her body.  Despite how odd it felt, it was also soothing, and she wished that whatever it was would happen again.  A minute later, she was normal again, and inside a Venn Machine.

“What was that?” Tina asked.

“You looked so good I got you scanned in the mall’s print shop.  They can make another standup.”  He showed her a picture of the poster on his phone.  “See?  It’s a different pose.  We could do a bunch this way.”

“Or you could take pictures of me, and have them turned into posters.”

Andy shrugged.  “I guess.”

“What?”

“Well, the shop was really impressed by your image quality as a poster.  You couldn’t see any pixels at all.  So the scan is way higher resolution than a typical picture, even from pro-grade gear.  Was it so bad?  If we booked ahead, you’d only need to be a poster for a couple minutes at a time.”

Tina laughed.  “You just liked seeing me as a poster.”

“A poster of Janice.  I’d rather have a poster of you.”

Tina licked her lips, then grinned.  “Okay.”

* * *

On Monday morning Tina arrived at work with Andy, but let him go ahead of her.  She spent a minute getting into character, then stormed into the office as if she owned it.

Jaws dropped all over the room.  “Janice is back?” was the question on everyone’s lips.  The only two that would meet her imperious gaze were Andy and Dirk.

Bradley Sherwood was the third, when he spotted Tina standing beside the cutout.  “Why are there two Janices here?”  He approached the two figures cautiously, then started to smile.  “Tina?”

Tina pouted.  “How could you tell?”

“You’re not wearing any perfume.  Janice practically bathes in the crap.”

“Aw fooey.  I’m so used to the smell of it I totally forgot.  Um, now what?”

“Hide behind Janice, like usual.  Let’s not confuse the viewers.”

Andy spoke up then, “Mr. Sherwood, what if we Venned her into a curvy shape, but left her still... Tina?”

“You’ve got an hour and a half before the first weather segment.  Be back in under an hour.  If I like whatever you come up with, you can give it a try.  If not... hide behind Janice.”

Tina grinned hugely.  “Thanks boss!  You’re the best.”

“Just get out of here, you’re scaring the staff looking like that!”

Tina and Andy didn’t need further encouragement.  At the mall, the found the Venn Machine occupied so they stood nearby to discuss plans.  Andy was shaking his head and trying to explain the difficulties when the Venn Machine doors opened.

“Janice!  What are you...”

They both spun to see Grant stepping out of the Venn Machine, and a woman who looked like a supermodel emerging from the other, a huge grin on her face.

“I’m not Janice,” apologized Tina, before Grant could make any more of a scene.  “I’m Tina, her assistant.  How’s your wife doing, none the worse for wear, I hope?”

Grant chuckled softly.  “I see.  You’re the one who has been using Janice to do the weather, yes?  My wife got such a laugh out of that, you have no idea.”

Tina nodded, grinning.  “That’s me.  But I want to read the weather as myself, and can’t quite get the look right.  Andy’s all thumbs in the Venn Machine.”

“Hey, it’s not easy,” protested Andy.  “I can’t find the right words to get what I want.”

Grant patted him on the shoulder, then moved a bit closer and spoke softly.  “Don’t use words, they’re too crude.  Refine what is, follow your sense of beauty.”

Andy’s eyes went wide.  “Oh!  Thanks!”

Grant smiled and nodded to the two of them.  “I look forward to seeing what you come up with.”

Andy still took his time working on Tina’s shape, but with less muttering.  “OK,” he finally said.  “Here’s something that’s still you, but...”

Tina grinned.  “C’mon, let me see.”  She felt her body shift, and looked down at herself.  “Subtle.”  She frowned.  “Am I taller?”

Andy nodded.  “A couple inches.  You’d still be a touch shorter than Janice.  I tweaked your hair a little too.”

Tina darted out of the Venn Machine when it opened, and stared at herself in the mirror.  “Wow.  I’m... pretty.”

Andy hugged her.  “You’ve always been pretty to me.”

“Hah!  Is that why you had trouble making me curvier?  I look perfect to you already?”

“I’m going to take the fifth on that,” said Andy with a grin.  “I like your reason better.”

Back at the station, Mr. Sherwood gave Tina an appraising once-over.  “Give it a try.  You’ll still use Janice, right?”

Tina nodded.  “Yes sir.  I’ll hide for part of the weather.”

“Good.  They’ll get their eye candy, then.  Maybe a little more, next time?”

Tina grinned at Andy.  “I know someone who’ll enjoy doing that.”

The forecast went well, Tina thought.  She held Janice up like usual for part of it, then emerged... and still used Janice to point at the green-screen.  For the final weather segment, at the all-important dinner-hour slot, Tina added a bit to the end.  “I’m going to try some different looks, to see what you folks want.  Call in to vote.”  She spun in place.  “Do you think I’m pretty enough for the job?”

That earned her another sit-down in the station manager’s office.  Andy sat beside her while they waited for the calls to die down.

“I feel like we’re back in school.  Except I never got sent to the principal’s office.”

Andy snorted.  “Right.  Don’t you remember the time Cindy...”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“What wasn’t your fault, Miss Cobb?” asked Mr. Sherwood as he entered the office.

“Sorry, sir.  Stories from school.”

He snorted, and waved Andy back to his seat.  “This concerns you too, it seems.  Tina’s stunt doubled our usual call volume.  Are you serious about this?  You’ll let them vote, and pick which body you’ll do the weather in for the rest of the month?”

Tina looked over to Andy for reassurance, then nodded.  “Yes sir.  We’ll keep it tasteful.”

Bradley snorted.  “Not too tasteful.”

“Sorry?”

“Dial it up.  Hell, have fun with it.  You two seem to work best when you’re having fun.  While this is pretty,” he indicated Tina’s curvier form, “They’re looking for more than just pretty.  Give ‘em a show.”

“How... how much of a show?” asked Tina.

“Push the boundaries a bit.  Let’s see where they break.  And don’t forget, we have a two second delay in case something... slips.”

Tina snickered.  “They’d like that, I’m sure.”

“Tease ‘em with it, if you dare.”

Tina shared a look with Andy.  “This is going to be fun.”

“There’s the spirit!  Now get lost, and have some fun.  I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

* * *

Tina showed up at the studio Tuesday morning with significantly more curves than the previous day, but still on the tasteful side of things.  She was also a good two inches taller than Andy, instead of her usual two inches shorter.

Bradley walked around her, nodding approvingly.  “Definitely going in the right direction.  Let’s see how those votes work out.”  Unsurprisingly, there were more calls in favour of Tina’s new look than Monday’s.

Wednesday was another matter entirely.  Tina was taller again, and broader in the shoulder.  She stood fully as tall as the Janice cutout, which thanks to Janice’s heels stood at slightly over six feet tall.  Her chest was improbably large, even on her expanded frame, and looked more than a little fake as a result.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” enthused Bradley.  “But what are you going to do for the rest of the week?”

Tina and Andy traded grins.  “I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

The calls after the show were mostly positive, and more so than the previous day.  A large number of callers complained about the over-the-top fakeness of Tina’s chest, too.

That night as they headed to the Venn Machine on the way home, Tina asked, “Well... now what?  We can’t go bigger.”

Andy thought about that for a bit, then started to smile.  “Quality or quantity, what a conundrum.”

“What are you planning?” asked Tina with a grin.

“You’ll see.”

Before long, Tina was staring down at her chest and giggling.  “Well.  That’s a more manageable size, but... three of them?”

“Hey, yesterday’s breasts were absolutely perfect.  So if quality won’t do it...”

“Quantity.  I thought you had enough of that when you gave me eight.”

“Too many to hold is pointless,” agreed Andy as they emerged from the Venn Machine.  He stepped in front of his girlfriend, his head barely clearing her chin.  “However...”  He cupped her breasts in his hands, then leaned in to give her a kiss on the slope of her middle breast.  “I think I can find ways to keep this one occupied.”

Tina purred happily, and patted Andy’s head softly.  “Hey, are you shorter again... no, I didn’t change you.  I’m taller?  Again?  Is there something you want to tell me?”

Andy blushed, and pulled back enough that he could look up into Tina’s face.  “I like looking up at you?”

“You like looking at my boobs, you mean.”

“It’s not just that,” Andy protested.  “I love the way you’ve been taking charge the last few days.”

“Oh, really?  Should I make you shorter next time we’re in there?”

Andy looked away from his girlfriend, kicking a toe against the floor.  His blush told the story.

“Interesting.”  Tina scooped Andy up and started to carry him out of the mall.  “Mmm, you made me stronger, too.  I like it.”

The next day, the viewers were very enthusiastic about it as well.  Before they’d even done the dinner-hour broadcast, votes for Tina’s latest form were well ahead of the previous days.

“Looks like you have a winner here,” said Bradley.  “That little slip in the last broadcast made you even more popular.”

Tina blushed, and covered her middle breast with her hands.  “I didn’t mean to!”

The station manager waved off Tina’s concern.  “We caught it in time, nobody saw anything.  Though the video’s still in the system if we want to let it go viral.”

Tina’s eyes went very wide.  “You wouldn’t!”

“You’d become very popular indeed if we did.  Your call.”

Andy asked “Can we see the clip first?” a bit too eagerly.

Tina glared at him, then started to giggle.  “Really?  You got all three of these last night.”

“And you looked so damn cute trying to cover up.  Seriously, have a look before you decide.”

Friday’s shape didn’t have a chance.  Especially as Mr. Sherwood made Tina hide her tentacles.

Tina and Andy waited in their boss’ office after the last show of the day.  “So?” Tina asked as he entered.

“Was there any doubt?  Thursday, by a landslide.  Looks like I’ve got the country’s only triple-breasted weathergirl.  For now.  I wouldn’t be surprised if you have imitators by next week.”

Tina grinned and clapped her tentacles.  “Awesome.  C’mon, sweetie, I want that body back.  And hands.  Hands are good.”

Andy laughed.  “That’s not what you said last night.”

Tina stuck her tongue out at him, and they left the office arm in tentacle.  “Just for that, I’m making you even shorter.  Amy.”

Andy shivered happily against her.  “Cool.”  He looked over his shoulder.  “Hey boss, mind if I spend the next week or so female?”

“As long as you keep turning out good copy, I don’t mind if you show up as a giant squirrel.”

Andy laughed.  “I may hold you to that.”

* * *

Bradley Sherwood stared at the two nearly identical cutouts of Janice standing in front of the weather green-screen.  “What’s up with your props, Tina?”

“Janice is going to change back in about an hour.  I asked the guys in graphics make a copy of her.  That way I can keep the routine going.”

“Ah!  Capital idea, it wouldn’t be the same without her.”

Forty five minutes later, there was only one cutout.  Standing beside it was a fully three dimensional and very pissed off Janice.  “What the fuck?  TINA!  You had one job, you were supposed to make sure I could do the weather!”

Tina laughed.  “I did.”  She held up the remaining cutout in front of the green-screen.  “Hi, I’m Janice,” she sing-songed in her long since perfected imitation of Janice’s voice.  “Here to give you the skinny on the weather.”  She turned the cutout sideways, and everyone except Janice laughed.

“That’s not funny,” fumed the woman who was being mocked.  She stormed up to Tina, and was taken aback when she realized that Tina was taller than her.  “Tina?  What the hell happened to you?  You were a mouse.”

Tina shared a look with Andy.  “A mouse could be fun.”

Janice stamped her foot as attention turned away from her.  “Answer me!”

Andy shrugged idly.  “You want to know what happened to Tina?  I did.  Or rather... Venn cosmetology,” he added with a smirk.

That set Janice off even worse.  “That bastard... this is all his fault.  All your fault!” she yelled at Tina.  “You took my job!”  She tried to slap Tina, but her target caught her wrist in one powerful hand.

“That’s enough, Janice.  You’ve lost.  Deal with it.”

Janice looked around at all the disapproving faces.  “It is not over.  I challenge you to a Quick Draw duel, winner gets the job.”

Tina snorted derisively, but it was Bradley that answered Janice.  “No.  Tina stays.”

Janice spun to stare at the station manager.  “What do you mean, no?  Fuck it, I challenge you then.”

Bradley stared Janice down.  “While I found it mildly amusing to watch you upend the pecking order here with your 'Quick Draw' antics,” he added the finger quotes, “The real pecking order here is the station owner, then me, then the section heads, then everybody else.  You are no longer part of that order.  We'll pay you for the use of your image, as per your contract, but your services are no longer needed or wanted here.  Go home.”

Janice started to kick up even more of a fuss, but when two burly security guards came up on either side she slumped, and allowed herself to be led off meekly.  Everyone in the studio applauded when the doors finally closed behind her.

“Well,” said Bradley contentedly.  “That is that.  Tina, your trial period as weathergirl is over.  Congratulations, you have the job.”

Tina beamed, and bounced so giddily through the day’s weather segments that the only thing that could keep her third breast in place was a stout piece of double-sided tape.

* * *

Later that evening, Tina and Andy ended up back at the mall to celebrate.  “So,” asked Andy.  “Am I going to be your petite girlfriend once more?”

“Mmm.  I was thinking you’d make a cute mousegirl.  Maybe about this tall,” Tina teased, her finger and thumb a few inches apart.

Andy’s eyes went wide, then he started to grin.  “Sounds like fun to...”

“You!” screeched an all-too-familiar voice.

Both of them whirled to see Janice storming towards them, looking disheveled and more than a little crazed.  “I want satisfaction.  You cost me my job, my apartment, my stuff.  Everything is gone!”

Tina shook her head.  “Mr. Sherwood took care of your belongings.  They’re in a storage locker.”

“That’s not the point!” screamed Janice, getting up in Tina’s face but having some difficulty with it due to Tina being four inches taller than her.  “You cost me everything!”

“No,” Tina answered firmly, standing her ground.  “No I didn’t.  You did all this to yourself.  I wasn’t even the one who Venned you into a flat cutout of yourself.”

“With a better personality,” added Andy.

Tina shot him a dirty look with a smirk buried inside it.  “Not helping.”

“You.  Me.  Quick Draw.” grated Janice.  “I’ll show them who’s the boss.”

“Why in the world would I get in a Venn Machine with someone like you?” asked Tina.  “Just so you can turn me into a panty liner again?  Or worse?”

“So you’re chicken, mouse?”

Tina’s eyes narrowed, and Andy stepped between them.  “Calm down.”

He got slapped for his troubles.

Tina pulled Andy back, pushing him behind her.  “You have a beef, take it up with me.  You want this contest?  Fine.”  She turned to the Venn Machine and set it for three years.

Janice was suddenly quiet.  “What?” she whispered.

“Three years.  I’ve got nothing to fear.  If I lose, Andy will turn me back.  Though if you come up with something fun enough, it might not be right away.”  She flashed him a grin that made it clear she would be fine with that.  “But if you lose...  Well.  There’s nobody in this world who’ll want to rescue you.  You will spend the next three years decorating my house.  I’ll even make you pretty.”

Janice’s eyes flashed at the barb.  “Only if I lose.”

“Sure.  If you lose.  I’ve only had a month to practice, I can’t be all that good.  Then again... you’ve had a month as a flimsy piece of cardboard.  How are the reflexes feeling?”  Tina’s grinned as she saw concern in Janice’s eyes.  “Maybe the odds are closer than you like.  And the cost... three years.  Nobody would even remember your name.  Not even you.”

Janice sucked in a breath, then let it out in a long sigh.  “Fuck you.”  She turned to walk away.

“The once-great Janice, turning and slithering away from a challenge?”  Tina crowed.  “I never thought I’d see the day.  Chicken.”

Janice’s spine stiffened and she turned back to face Tina.  “I.  Am.  Not.  A.  Chicken.”  She stormed into the Venn Machine.

Tina sauntered into her side.

“Mouse,” spat Janice.

“Snake,” rallied Tina playfully.  “Oooh.”  A bubble with sparkly contents drew her eye.

Janice was taunting her, something about turning her into a condom and then... a moment later it was cut off.  A metallic looking snake with iridescent scales was on the other side of the booth.  “You make a pretty snake, bitch.”

Then the snake that Tina had mistaken for a sculpture started to move.  It lifted up from its coils, and its snout rapped the glass with a musical chime.  Then it wove its way toward the green button.

“Oh shi...”  Tina vanished.

Andy stared in surprise as the Venn Machine doors opened.  “Twelve seconds?  What...”  He darted into Tina’s side, and scooped up the square packet he found there.  He tucked it carefully into his wallet.  Then he returned to stare at the metallic snake trying to slither away from the machine.  Unfortunately its scales were as polished as the mall’s floor, and it was making no headway.

Andy scooped Janice up, carefully grabbing her just behind the head so she couldn’t bite.  Her tail wrapped around his arm and clung to him tightly.  “Well.  I guess we’ll be needing to pick up a terrarium on the way home.”

Janice made a piteous noise, halfway between a hiss and the sound of a broken steam-whistle.

“Now, now.  You knew what you were getting into.”

Janice hooted softly, and her death-grip on Andy’s arm loosened.

Back at home, Andy set up the large terrarium he’d bought.  He still had a grip on Janice, so the task was complicated by only having the one hand to work with.  Eventually it was done, and he managed to pry Janice off of him.  He closed the lid.  “There.  Home sweet home.”

Janice explored her new home listlessly, then curled up into a ball.

“And now, I’m going to make use of my girlfriend.  I saw what you turned her into, and I’m sure I can have some fun with it before turning her back.”

Janice watched him go with a hint of a snaky smile forming on her lips.