Cat Crazy 5

The day had started well.  Jackson manor was sparkling clean, from top to bottom, and one of the catgirl maids responsible for that state had just finished serving breakfast.  A second catgirl was playing with Lenny, who had supped on cream and was looking as content as only a cat can.

The stentorian chime of the mansion’s doorbell startled everyone except Lenny.  The way the catgirls’ tails bottled out set George to laughing.  Once he calmed down he sighed.  “I suppose we should find out who that is.  Curly, are you around?”

One of the catgirl maids waved a hand.  “Over here.”

“You may need to do the talking, if it’s a neighbour.  Play it cool.”

George and Curly headed to the doorway, with George’s girlfriend Candy not far behind.  She was also a catgirl, but nothing like the maids.  She’d kneaded herself an impressive set of muscles, and stood fully seven feet tall.  George grinned up into her purple eyes.  “Try not to loom too much, dear.  It’s probably nothing.”

George opened the door.  “Good morning.”

The thin-faced woman on the other side of the door was wearing a professional looking suit jacket and skirt, and had her dark hair back in a severe bun.  “Good morning.  This is the Jackson residence, is it not?”

George looked over at Curly, who nodded.  “Yes.  But I’m afraid Mr. Jackson is... indisposed.”

“I’m afraid I must insist on seeing him.  I’m Agent Stein, of the Department of Magical Enforcement.  He has quite a bit to answer for.”

George chuckled, and gestured the woman inside.  Her eyes widened only the tiniest bit as Curly and Candy came into view.  “I see I’ve found the right place.  I don’t recall any catgirls like you in the incident report, though.”

Candy grinned.  It wasn’t the kindly sort.  Agent Stein didn’t flinch at all.  “I’m like this of my own free will,” said Candy, simply.

“Ah, good.  And under your own power, if I’m not mistaken.  Well, that explains why so many of the victims showed up later, perfectly normal... or slightly better than normal.”

Candy’s grin was much more friendly this time.  “We couldn’t leave them like that, not when we could help.”

“Excellent.  You did create a little extra paperwork, James Rogers into June Rogers, but nothing the local office can’t handle.”

“June?  She lied to me?  That sneak,” groused Candy, but without rancor.  “Ah well, she seemed awfully happy.”

“Which is why you’re not in any trouble over that.  However, there is the issue of the mass transformation of over five hundred people into catgirls.  That’s why I’m here, to see that the situation is... contained.”

Curly spoke up then.  “Ah.  Well.  We may as well show you to Mr. Jackson, then.”

“Please,” said Agent Stein, primly.

Curly led the group to the still rather messy garage that had served as Jackson’s lab.  He was standing in the middle of it, still stuck as a granite statue of himself.  They’d even left his clothes on.

“Well,” said Agent Stein.  “I can see he won’t be causing any more trouble for a while.  How long is he going to be like this?”

“Oh, it’s quite permanent,” said Curly.  “His latest invention, the permanizer, worked perfectly.”  He explained how Jackson’s defensive device had been intended to cause temporary petrification, but with the permanizer in range when it fired, Jackson and the four catgirls attacking him had become permanent statues.

“Where are the other four now?” asked Agent Stein.

“They’ve all gone home,” said George.  “Between Candy and the permanizer, we were able to restore them.  We didn’t feel like restoring Jackson.”

“Good.”  Agent Stein turned away from the statue.  “Can you show me the device he used to transform hundreds of people in one go?”

Curly pointed to the black Trans Am taking up part of the garage.  “It’s built into the car.  You can have the whole thing, for all I care.  Wait... hundreds?  We only saw a couple dozen at the entrance to the mall.”

“There were seventy two more victims inside the mall itself, and the remainder were up to two miles further down the direction of fire.”  Agent Stein walked around the car, examining it from all angles as she spoke.  “Fortunately, most of the more distant victims were only temporarily transformed.”

“No mental effects?” asked Curly quickly.  “He’d turned a bunch of the nearer ones into docile maids.  It didn’t take on all of them, though.”

Agent Stein shook her head as she opened the hood of the Trans Am to inspect the weapon itself.  “No.  I read the reports on the ones you rescued, it seems the mental changes were only temporary?”  

“It seemed that way, yes,” said George.  “Before long all but one of them recalled their names, and we were able to change them back.  Did we do the right thing?”

Agent Stein briefly looked up from her inspection of Jackson’s work.  “Yes, we checked them out.  They’re all fine.  But what puzzles me is that there’s no way this engine could provide the transformative power we saw three days ago.  What did he use?”

Curly just pointed at the other two.  At the agent’s quizzical eyebrow lift, he added, “They weren’t human at the time.  I didn’t know.”

“Ah.”  Agent Stein gave George an appraising look.  “Interesting.  Well, that does make it somewhat less dangerous.  But we still need to put it somewhere safe.  I’ll send a team by tomorrow to pick it up.  I trust there are no objections?”

“Of course not, Agent Stein,” said Curly.

“Just call me Becky.  You three aren’t in trouble...”  Becky frowned, and looked at George again.  “Well, not for this, anyway.  George Milton, I presume?”

George sighed, and nodded.  “I know this would happen eventually.  Didn’t see it playing out like this, though.”

“Twenty seven women transformed for an average of three days each.  Fortunately only three of them lost their jobs over it, though you do owe the lost salaries of most of the rest.  The DME has already paid out compensation for the lost wages.  The employment insurance claims are a different agency, but the DME is also responsible for collecting on those.”

George winced.  “I don’t know how I’ll ever make that kind of coin.”

“I see.  Are you responsible for the twenty victims that were restored before I arrived on the scene?”

George looked over at Candy, who shrugged her massive shoulders.  “I guess.  Indirectly.  I don’t really understand it, but Candy draws power from me to change things.  It was all three of us, though.”  He gestured to Curly. “Without the permanizer, we’d have only been able to patch things up temporarily.”

“Excellent.  I’ll credit that to your account.  And there’s the matter of capturing the perpetrator of the worst mass transformation incident this state has ever seen.  There’s quite a sizeable bounty associated with that sort of thing.  It more than clears your debts, and that of your tall associate over there as well.”

“What did I do?” asked Candy.

“Candy Hamilton, on file as having taken over where George left off.  Seven mice and one cat, none of which were of consequence.  And then there was the rat.  Unfortunately for you, he was a hedge fund manager.  Can you imagine what three days away from his desk could have cost him?”

Candy’s eyes went wide.  “Oh shit.”

Becky grinned.  “Not to worry.  His fund actually made money those three days, so you’re off the hook.  I would strongly recommend staying away from the financial district for any further depredations.”

“Wait, what?” asked Candy.  “You’re not telling us to stop?”

“You have quite a considerable positive balance with the DME thanks to your recent efforts.  As long as you stay away from high-salaried individuals, you can carry on as you have for... hmm, I’d say at least another year, before you have the slightest risk of me showing up on your doorstep.”

George blinked.  “So as long as we... pay for people’s lost wages, we can turn them into whatever we like?”

“Lost wages for the duration of the change, unemployment premiums for lost jobs, other related expenses.  Cover the net cost, and you’re good.  Oh, and if family comes looking for them you have to change them back.  Emotional attachment clause.  And do stay away from the famous types.  They have private insurance, and you really don’t want to tangle with those guys.”

“But how can you tell?” fretted Candy.  “I didn’t know the rat was a hedge fund manager.”

“Look them up on the DME website.  We have estimates for most people.”

“But Lenny...”  George’s protest was cut off by a very large and very heavy elbow in the shoulder from Candy.  She shook her head.

Becky raised an eyebrow, but when no further information was forthcoming, shrugged.  “Well then.  Do you know where my other three catgirls are?  I’d like to wrap this up and get started on,” she shuddered, “the paperwork.  I’m going to be writing this mess up for a week at least.”

“Curly, if you’d be so kind as to collect the others?” asked Candy sweetly.  Her gentle, wheedling tone was out of place for someone as large and muscular as she was at the time.

Soon there were five nearly identical catgirl maids lined up in the kitchen for Agent Stein.  Curly was the only standout, she’d retained much of his original facial structure and build, so she was a few inches taller than the others.

“Five catgirls.  I thought there were only supposed to be four.  Who did I miss?”

Curly raised her hand.  “Me.  I got Candy to change me into this because it looked like fun.  And I’ve been pretending to be a girl for long enough I figured I’d like to try being one for a while.”

“Nobody has filed a missing person report on you.”

“Mom lives just up the street.  I told her I was staying over at Jackson’s place for a while, she didn’t object.  I’ve spent lots of time here helping with his projects before.”  At yet another expressive eyebrow lift, she hastened to add, “I didn’t know about the car!  I just helped making the spell rechargers.”

“Fair enough.  I may want to come back to that.  If you could help make them, then they’re actual inventions instead of gadgets.”


George held up his hand, and Becky turned to him with a grin.  “So polite. Yes?”

“What’s a gadget?”

“Something that looks like technology, but is actually more magical in nature.  The biggest difference is they can’t be mass produced, and often only work when near the person who made them.”

“Like the permanizer,” mused Curly.

“In any case.  Who do we have here?  You do remember your names, right?”

They went down the line and Agent Stein ticked them off her list.  Clare Luce, Pamela Blair, Wallace Ford.  The last one just gave her name as “Mio.”

Agent Stein frowned.  “By process of elimination you’re, Brod...”

“No!” interrupted Mio.  “I’m not him.  I don’t want to be him any more!”

Agent Stein nodded, a kind expression on her face.  “But you remember?”

Mio sighed softly.  “Yes.  He’s not a nice person.  Frustrated with life, taking it out on others.  I have a purpose here.  Please let me stay.”

“Your mother filed a missing person report on you.  What should I tell her?”

“That I’m happy where I am.  Happier than I’ve been in a very long time.”

Becky nodded again.  “Fine.  But you should contact her yourself, too.  She’ll want to see you.”

“Like this?” asked Mio.  “I...”  She closed her slitted eyes, and her ears drooped.  “I’ll try.”

“Good.  So that’s settled.  The rest of you... why are you still here?”

The catgirl named Wallace shrugged.  “They said they could change us back whenever we liked.  I wasn’t in a hurry to go anywhere, and the place really needed a good cleaning.  Plus this body is a firecracker.”  She blushed and looked over at the other two catgirls.  “Right?”

They grinned at her.  “Yeah,” said Pamela.  “Is there any chance I can... keep some of that, but mostly go back to myself?”

Everyone looked over at Candy.  She grinned.  “Heck yeah.  I can turn you into anything you like.”

Candy had only just started working on Pamela when a familiar feline strutted into view.  Lenny took one look at at Becky, purred happily, and trotted over toward her.

“Curly!” hissed George.  “Do something about Lenny, please?”

Curly sighed long-sufferingly, and scooped up the cat.  Lenny hissed once, but was soon out of sight.

Pamela’s changes were just finishing up when Lenny strolled back into the kitchen.  Curly was close behind, but looking a little shorter and somewhat fuzzier than before.  George shot her a pleading look.  Curly slumped, and darted after the cat once more.  As she walked past George he hissed, “Do whatever it takes.  Please!  We’ll make it up to you.”

Curly rolled her eyes.  “You better.  I’ve gotta scoot before he changes me near the permanizer.”

As Candy was starting to restore Clare, the sounds of a cat yowling echoed from the distant bedroom.  A second cat soon joined the chorus, and made it very clear indeed what was going on.  George winced.  He was going to pay for that.

Fortunately, Candy kept her composure and quickly finished with Clare and Wallace.  “There.  All done,” she said as the last of the yowls died away.  “Off you go.  Quickly, if you know what’s good for you.”

The newly-restored humans left, but Agent Stein stayed behind.  “What on earth was all that about?”

Lenny came poinging happily into the kitchen once more.  George sighed, and turned the permanizer off.  “Leave her be,” he said, but there wasn’t much force behind it.

Lenny ignored him, of course, and prowled up to Becky’s feet.  He started to knead.

Becky stared at the paws that were quickly replacing her feet.  “The cat?  The cat was causing all the changes?”

George grabbed Lenny.  “Yes.”  Lenny started in on him instead, and George started to shrink.  “Candy can explain.”

“Do tell.”

Candy shrugged, and began the story where she’d entered the picture, with Lenny turning her into a purple-eyed cat.  That it had given her the ability to do the same sort of things fascinated Becky, enough so that she mostly ignored the new feline chorus starting up.

A bedraggled looking cat prowled into the kitchen.  “Hey Curly,” said Candy.  “Want a hand?”

Curly shook her head, and hopped up onto the counter.  Beside the toaster was a similar-sized contraption, connected to a space heater.  Curly butted the on switch, and soon the heater started glowing.

Agent Stein stared at the device, then down at her paws, which were slowly changing back into feet.  “A spell removal device?”

Candy nodded.  “It’s kinda slow, though.  It’ll take about half an hour to get her back to normal.”

“Fascinating.  It’s fairly bulky, and the heater is an clever touch... is this actually an invention, not a gadget?”

Curly nodded her furry head.  Becky held a hand out to the cat.  Curly sniffed at it once, then allowed herself to be scooped up into Becky’s arms.  “And do you know how to make them?  This isn’t just Jackson’s work?”

Curly nodded again.  A slow discussion full of yes or no questions evolved into a proper chat between the two of them as Curly’s changes reverted.  When they were done, she was a catgirl once more.

“Why didn’t it change you back to human?”

Curly shrugged and grinned.  “The permanizer, of course.  Temporary changes revert to the most recent permanent change.  We’re still learning how it works.  Mostly that it does what it says on the tin.  I have no idea *how* it works at all, Jackson was a genius.  Madder than a wet hatter, but a genius.”

“And you can really reproduce his work on these?”

Curly nodded eagerly.  “I’ve built a half dozen at least.  The only fiddly bit is the electromagic transducer, he had some black market contact that could get him a few now and again.”

Agent Stein waved that off.  “The DME can source those easily enough.  How quickly could you produce them?  We’d love to have one in every office.”

“I don’t know... maybe one a week.  There’s lots of fiddly wiring to be done.  I suppose I could train up some assistants.”  She looked hopefully over at Candy, who shrugged.  She no longer towered over the group, the spell remover had returned her to her new permanent form, a normal-sized version of the tigress body she’d been wearing earlier.

“I don’t know anything about electronics,” Candy admitted.  “I’m sure George would be willing to help.”

As if on cue, a half-cat, half-woman walked into the room.  “Someone taking my name in vain?”

Candy explained the issue.  George shrugged.  “Can’t we just license the design to the DME and let them contract it out?  It’d be faster.”

“It would, yes.  It would also be quite lucrative for the three of you.  If you’re willing, Curly?”

“Sure.  It’s Jackson’s design anyway.  I guess that’ll help pay off his debt to society or something.”

Agent Stein nodded.  “That it would.  I think that wraps up everything, then.  We’ll be in touch.  Oh, and if you want to offer your services for reversion of permanent transformations, we always need more contractors.”

“Of course!  Does that pay well?”

“Decent.  The real money’s in working to spec.  If you list with us, we can send people your way.  We maintain lists of the reputable practitioners in any given area.”

“Sort of like the Better Business Bureau, but for magic?” asked Curly.

“Exactly.  With your abilities, you’ll be set for life.  Even if your cat continues his indiscretions.  Or you add to them yourselves.”

“You were serious about that?” asked George, amazed.  “If we find someone with no job, we can just... change them however long we like?”

“Until their family comes looking, yes.  We’re very good at finding people,” added Agent Stein with a grin.  “Magic has uses in many areas.”

“Ah.  Still.  It seems...” George trailed off.

“Wicked?” supplied Candy.

“Wickedly cool,” enthused Curly.  “I bet we can even find people who’d want to tangle with Lenny.”

Agent Stein nodded.  “I’m sure you can.  Good day.”

The three of them looked at each other.  “Now what?”

“Lunch!” called Mio.

The others clamoured in agreement, and Mio chased them out of the kitchen so she could work.  All but Curly, anyway.  She tugged him back when he was leaving with the others, claiming to need an assistant.  Curly’s grin made it clear she didn’t mind spending time with the one remaining victim of Jackson’s catgirl ray.

“Aww, how sweet,” murmured Candy as they watched the two catgirls work.

George, who was most of the way back to normal, chuckled.  “Yeah.  They’re good for each other.  Did you see how Mio took charge?  She’d never have done that two days ago.”

“I guess getting told she can stay a catgirl helped.”

“Can she, though?”  At Candy’s puzzled look, George added, “Stay here.  Can we all just... stay here, with Jackson stuck as a statue?  Agent Stein didn’t say anything about that.”

They asked Curly about it once they’d eaten their fill of lunch.  She explained that it wasn’t actually Jackson’s house, either.  It was held in by a family trust, and would go to one of Jackson’s cousins if he no longer resided at it.

“Does being turned into a statue by his own hand count as resident?” asked George.

Curly shrugged, “Take it up with the trustees.  The trust is old, like this building.  I doubt it was written with magic in mind.  He’s not actually dead, we could restore him any time.”

“We get to stay here?” asked George, wonderingly.

“Seems like it.”

Mio bounced excitedly beside Curly. “I get to stay here too?  With you?”

Curly grinned.  “Yes.  As long as you like.”  He turned from the conversation and fed Mio another bite of tuna.  She licked it off his fingers.

Candy pulled George closer to her, kneading softly at his thighs.  His eyes widened as he started to shrink.  “It occurs to me,” she mused playfully, “that only one of us here is lacking in gainful employment.”

George’s eyes got wider as he continued to shrink.  “But...  but...  The family thing!”

Candy chuckled predatorily.  “You haven’t talked to them since Lenny started on his tear.  They won’t come looking.”

George gulped, and noded.  “I’m... oh my god, you could change me and keep me and nobody would even care.”

Candy stopped kneading.  George was less than  two feet tall.  She set him on her lap, and his head was level with her breasts.  “I’d care.  But I also find the idea of keeping you as my pet very... enticing.”

“I’m never going to be normal again, am I?” asked George softly.

“Nope.”

He buried his face in the furry boobs in front of him.  “Awesome.”

* * *

Personals
VICTIMS WANTED: If you’ve ever wondered what the mouse felt like when chased by a cat, wonder no more.  The thrill of the hunt can be yours for the asking.  Excellent cardio workout.  Rates negotiable, and return to a form of your choosing is part of the package.  Call xxx xxx-xxxx, ask for George.

* * *

Agent Becky Stein smiled to herself as she added the clipping to the file on George and Candy.  Those two were going to have fun with their abilities, it seemed.  She hoped that she wouldn’t have to visit them again in an official capacity, and that she’d find time to do so unofficially.

As she was closing the file and setting it into her outbox, a harried looking man rushed into her office.  “Agent Stein!  We’re leaving in five.  You would not believe what just happened in Aiken, South Carolina...”

Agent Stein grabbed her coat and briefcase.  “Here we go again.”