Part 1 - Birthday

Tina stared at the two figures ducking their way through the gymnasium doors.  They were mostly recognizable as her husband and his friend, but...

“Jerry?  Really?  This is the best you could do?  You know what Tyrone wanted to see for his birthday, what the entire theme of this party is!”  Her voice kept rising and rising.

Jerry sighed, and made his way through the door as best he could.  “Honest, sweetie, we tried half a dozen times.  The Venn Machines have no idea whatsoever what superheroes are.  It’s like they have a blind spot about it or something.”

“Well, at least Karl is something vaguely recognizable.”  The muscular green-skinned man grinned at her, and flexed his muscles.  A bunch of the kids were starting to gather around hm, oohing and aaahing at what he was doing.  

Karl grinned at them, and very carefully picked up the birthday boy and set him on one shoulder.  Tyrone grabbed on to his hair, and grinned like mad as Karl stomped around the gymnasium.

Once that was done, well, every five year old boy there absolutely had to have a ride too, and they mobbed him for their own turns.  Jerry smiled as he watched his friend go.  Karl always could make the best of things.  Maybe, he mused to himself, they should have swapped roles.

Tina poked him in the side and he sighed.  “What is it, dear?”

“What are you even supposed to be?  I can’t tell with that blanket thrown over whatever it is you’re riding.”

“I’m not riding anything,” said Jerry.  He pulled the blanket aside, revealing that the bottom half of his body extended back for about six feet.  It had a shimmering red carapace, and eight spindly exoskeletal legs.

Tina screamed, and fainted dead away.  Jerry just sighed, and tucked the blanket under her head so she’d be comfortable until he woke.  He watched the action from the sidelines for a while, until one little child was brave enough to approach him.

“What are you, mister?”

Jerry crouched down, bending all his legs to bring his belly right down to the floor.  “Well, my top half is a man, and my bottom half is...”

“A spider.  So you’re...  Spiderman!” he yelled.

That got the attention of every kid around.  Some were skittish about the giant spider aspect to Jerry, but most were massively curious as to what this new thing was in their midst.  The fact that his spider half was as red as a fire engine sold most of them on just how cool this might be.

The first one to ask for a ride was the brave little boy who’d approached him first.  Jerry scooped him up, getting a worried look from the kid’s mother, and set him on his broad, shiny back.  The kid smiled hugely, and insisted that he run around the room.

Jerry did his best, but his chitinous feet were a bit slippery on the gym floor, and he skidded out a couple of times.  His rider thought this was the funniest thing ever, and would have insisted on another lap if the birthday boy hadn’t clamoured for his own turn first.

So that is what Tina saw when she woke, her precious son riding the back of a monstrous half-spider.  She screamed bloody murder, but for once Jerry paid her no mind.  Tyrone was laughing up a storm, and when they slid to a stop in front of his mother, he practically jumped into her arms.

“Did you see, mama!  Did you see!  I got to ride on the spider!  Can I ride again?  Pleeeeeease?”

Jerry grinned.  Despite the daggers Tina was glaring at him, he knew that Tyrone could break her will in no time.  He offered to take two more boys for a ride, and had lots of takers.  Three laps later, he looked over at Tyrone again.  He was tugging desperately at his mother’s hand, and pleading with her.

Jerry crouched low before them, putting his head halfway between Tyrone’s and his wife’s.  “Look, sweetie.  Nobody’s come to harm.  The kids are having an absolute blast.  Can you please let him go again?”

Tina looked away from him, shivering.  He moved a little closer, and put a hand under her chin.  “Look at me, sweetie.  Just the top half.  I’m exactly the same as before.”

Tina peeked at him, trying very hard not to look down.  She failed, and quailed away once more.  “I just can’t...  You’re a spider.”

“He’s a spider-man!” corrected Tyrone, emphatically.

Jerry picked up the blanket, and threw it over his back once again.  One shiny red foreleg peeked out, but the rest was covered.  He turned Tina’s head toward him once more.  “Sweetie.  Whatever you hate about spiders... I’m not going to do that.  I’m just Jerry.”

Tina sighed, and leaned against her husband.  “I just... god, you scared the life out of me.  Why did you have to be a spider?”

Jerry leaned in and kissed her, much to Tyrone’s vocal dismay.  “For my son, of course.  You know what he wanted, and I wanted to be it for him.  This is the best we could do, and he loves it.  Don’t you, sport?”

Tyrone nodded emphatically.  “Please, Mama?  Daddy rides are the best.”

Tina chuckled softly.  “You always were about the Daddy-rides.  Fine.”  She glared at her husband.  “Not a scratch.”

“I promise.  Well, not on Tyrone.  The floor is another matter, I’m afraid.”

Tina sighed, and lifted her little boy up onto his father’s back.  “Be careful.”

Jerry took a few steps away, and whisked the blanket off to a cheer from Tyrone and some of the other kids.  “Where’s the fun in that?”

Running on eight legs was incredibly different from running on two, but just as much fun once he got going.  Tyrone wrapped his arms around his daddy’s chest as best he could, and Jerry reached back to keep him safe.  “Faster, daddy!  Faster!”

Two laps later, Jerry delivered Tyrone to his mother.  “See?  Safe and sound.”

She looked down at Tyrone, and smiled.  “Did you have fun?”

“Oh yes!  Tons of fun.  Can we do this next weekend?”

Jerry laughed.  “If it’s dry enough out, we can go outside and race.”

Tina looked at her husband, shuddered, and grimly turned her gaze back to the wall again.  “As long as I don’t have to watch.”

“Yay!”



Part 2 - Surprise!

The rest of their time in the gym passed in a blur for Jerry.  So many rides!  His broad back could support three children at once, and mostly did.

That same broad back made it very difficult to fit through the single door into the party room where they’d be feeding the kids, and bringing out the birthday cake.  After struggling with it for a minute, Jerry gave up, and both he and Karl headed out to the van once more.

When they returned, Karl was normal.  Jerry had the blanket around him again, though this time thanks to the Venn machine it looked like it had been tailored to fit his lower body.  It dragged against the ground, hiding the details... but it was obvious that he needed to as well.  His lower body wasn’t as long or as wide as before, and could fit through doors much more conveniently... but it also looked like it could still carry at least one person.

Tina stormed up to him.  “What the hell!” she hissed.  “If you’re still a spider under there, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Jerry ducked back into the hallway, and she followed.  “I’m not a spider.”

“Well, you’re sure not human under there, either.”

Jerry grinned at her saucily.  “Nope.”

“What the hell is so funny?” Tina asked, her voice rising.

“You know those sketchbooks you hide in your panty drawer, where you think I don’t know about them?”

Tina’s face went white.  “I...  You... Those are private!”

“You’re really very good.  You shouldn’t hide them.”

“You looked at them?  God, Jerry, what the hell!”

“I couldn’t help but notice that there was a... recurring theme.”

Tina went very still.  “Oh... you didn’t.  You wouldn’t.  It’s crazy.  Nobody would...”

Jerry grinned, and nodded.  “I did.”

Tina’s hand reached out, trembling.  She tugged up a bit of the blanket, and saw what was underneath.  Her trembling got worse, and the blanket fell back into place.  “Oh.  My.  God.  You saw what...  They work?”

“Yup.”

“And you’d be... willing?” Tina asked with a desperate hope in her voice.

“It’s a little odd, but... yes.”  He stared at Tina.  This was almost a different woman before him.  She hadn’t looked at him with that kind of lust in her eyes since before they’d had Tyrone.  “If this makes you happy, I’d be happy to.  It might be fun for me, too.”

Tina swallowed, tried to speak, failed.  She gathered her thoughts.  “I... I wonder if we can get a babysitter tonight.  I know it’s late notice.”

Jerry couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  “A... babysitter?  But you never...  You’ve refused to even consider it before.”

“Tyrone’s five.  He’ll be fine.”

“That’s not what you said last week.”

“I haven’t had sex since Tyrone was conceived.  And now you’re waving one of my deepest fantasies in front of me.  I really, really want this, Jerry.  I’ll do anything.”

“He’s going to crash out so hard tonight, after all this running around, then cake and such...  I can’t believe I’m now the one arguing against a babysitter.”

“What I want you to do to me is going to get very, VERY loud.  We’ll need to be somewhere else.”

A head poked out of the door.  “Oh, there you are.  Come on, it’s time to light up the cake.”

They both jumped, acting as if they were teenagers who’d been caught making out.  “We’ll be right there.”  Jerry held the door as Tina went in.  As she passed him she whispered, “anything.”  He could see stars in her eyes, the way she smiled at him.

After cake, candles, goodie bags and balloons, it was time to pack up and head home.  Before Jerry had unpacked the car, Tina was already making calls.  She’d talked to some of her friends at the party, and gotten a few references.

The wait until dinner was over and the sitter arrived was the longest few hours in Tina’s life.  They watched Tyrone play with his new toys, and to Jerry’s amazement she didn’t once complain about the mess he was making in the living room.  She kept stealing glances at him, and the occasional peek under his blanket.

“It’s not going to wear off too soon, is it?” Tina asked.

Jerry shook his head.  “We set it for a day.  I’ll be like this until a bit after two Sunday afternoon.”

“Oooh.  We need to get him out of the house... I wonder if there are any drop-in daycares near here that are open on Sundays.”

Jerry’s eyebrows hid in his shaggy hair.  “Really?”

“Ask me again when the hotel throws us out for noise complaints.”

The doorbell rang before Jerry could answer that.  Tina rushed to it, as excited as a kid at Christmas.  She shook the hand of the serious teenage girl that came inside, showed her around the house, and introduced her to Tyrone.  He looked a bit puzzled that someone new was going to be watching him, but the distraction of his toys could not be denied for long.

Tina and Jerry were off and gone within minutes.

They were back an hour and a half later.

“That was quick,” Kari said.

Jerry dug out the money they’d agreed on, then doubled it.  “Turns out my sweetie was right about the noise complaints.”

Jerry laughed at Kari’s confused look.  “Trust me, it was very well earned.”

Tina didn’t say a word, she just sort of drifted through the door.  The smile on her face made Jerry grin.  When Kari was gone, she pounced on Jerry.  “We have to do that again.”

“What about waking Tyrone?”

“Fuck it.  We’ll use the guest bedroom downstairs.  Put a blanket on the door.”

“Gag you?”

“Oooh!  Yes, that’s a great idea.”

Jerry stared at her as if she’d grown another head.

“I wonder if we can get a good gag this time of night.  Could you call around and see?”

Jerry knew better than to argue.  It turned out that adult shops stayed open quite late, and soon he was back with a bag full of varying styles of gags.  Tina had made up the bed in the guest room, and even turned the heat up.  Jerry dumped the bag out on the bed, and when she saw the array of straps and rubber she grinned.  “Oooh.  This one looks pretty.”

“Are you sure about...  Wow, that was quick.  Try screaming.”

Tina’s cheeks puffed out, but little more than a squeak made it around the gag.

“Do it again!  That sounded hilarious.”

Tina tried to speak around the gag, but it just came out as more soft squeaking.  She buckled it behind her head.

“I cannot believe this,” said Jerry.  “You’re really going to...”  Tina silenced him by ripping off the blanket.  Before another minute had passed, she was making very good use of the gag indeed.  Jerry couldn’t help but grin at the adorable squeaks she was making.

* * *

In the morning, a sore and very happy Tina dug through her winter clothes drawer.  She pulled out a pair of sketchbooks that were much less battered than the ones her husband had found,  then hopped back into bed with him.  She batted away an errant tentacle with a grin, but there were two more to take its place, and soon she was getting distracted and bothered.

“Jer!  Stop it.  This is...  I want to share these with you.”

Jerry chuckled softly.  “As you wish.”  The tentacles pulled back, and Tina sighed.  “OK, but just two, and no funny business.”

Jerry slid the two largest tentacles around her waist, and his arm around her chest.  Tina shuddered and moaned softly, and reached for the gag.  She stopped herself with a stern, “No.  Tyrone will be up soon.”

Then she spread one of the sketchbooks open on her lap, and smiled at Jerry’s gasp.  “When did you learn to draw like that?”

“The ones you found were my old sketchbooks.  Remember that huge coloured pencil set I asked for the Christmas after Tyrone was born?”

Jerry nodded.  “I see you put it to good use.  This is gorgeous work.”  He reached for the page, but pulled his hand back, worried he’d smudge it.  “You look amazing like that.”

“My idealized self,” Tina said simply, and turned the page.  “I was having trouble losing the weight I’d gained while pregnant, and it bothered me.”

Jerry snickered softly at the next image.  “You were never that big.  You still look beautiful like this, with a big round belly.”  Then he saw the next page, and his eyebrows rose.  “Is this a dream for you, or a nightmare?”

Tina stared at the rotund thing she’d drawn, with only her face visible.  “I... hell, I don’t know any more.  Both.  Doing this helped exorcise some of my worries.”

Jerry made a face at the next picture.  In it Tina was rail-thin, like a runway model.  “Ick.  I really hope this isn’t what you want to be.”  

Tina smiled and kissed his cheek.  “Really?  I thought this was what guys went for.”

Jerry shook his head vigorously.  “Hell no.  I’d rather see you round and happy than like this.”

The next few pages were in a similar vein, with Tina as various idealized forms - more models, a mannequin, and several classic statues, finishing up with the Venus de Milo bearing her face.  Jerry sucked in a hiss of breath at that one.

“See something you like?” teased Tina.  “It’s not about the stone, you just admired the others.  What is it about this?”

“When you put in that gag...  You have no idea how that turned me on.”

“Really?  You never breathed a word about liking bondage before.”

“I thought it would turn you off,” he admitted, softly.

“It doesn’t.  But I don’t get how that relates to this picture.”

“Just... arms tied is one thing.  Arms gone entirely?  I had no idea, but...”

“Next weekend.”

Jerry’s eyebrows rose.  “Really?”

“Anything you want.  Then we’ll find something else in here to have fun with.”  She flipped through the pages, and Jerry stopped her at one.

“Oooh, yes.  The mermaid.”

“She’s gorgeous.  You’re gorgeous.”

“And an octopus would be... thematic.”

Jerry laughed.  “I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this.”

“Talking?”  Tina snuggled up against her husband, and teased her hand down his tentacles.  “We’re going to be this.  We’re going to be everything in this book, and then start on another.”

Jerry picked up the other sketchbook she’d brought out, and Tina squealed, “Don’t look at that one!”

But he’d already opened it.  In it were pictures of him.  They... weren’t kind ones.  “A rat?  You see me as a rat?”  There was no anger in Jerry’s voice, but there was reproach.

Tina buried her head in her hands.  “I’m so fucked.”

He turned another page.  “And eaten by a snake.  Wait, that face looks...  God, Tina, is this you?”

“Yes,” she squeaked, barely above a whisper.

“Why?”  He turned more pages, saw more pictures of him as her prey.  Never bloody, he noted idly.  But always in her power, often ending up going down her throat, or vanishing into her other ways.

“I am so, so sorry,” whispered Tina.  “I started because I was mad at you.  Every time I got angry, I put it in here, instead of lashing out at you.” She grinned at him crookedly.  “That has to count for something, right?”  Tina looked in his eyes, and was stunned at what she found there.  Love.  Affection.  “How can you not hate me right now?”

Jerry tapped the page he was on.  In it a tiny Jerry was disappearing into Tina’s breast.  “This doesn’t look like such a bad way to go.  Look at him, sweetie.”

Tina peeked at the book, and giggled hysterically.  “Yeah.  I kind of realized that part way through.  I figured you’d be in heaven, and after that I couldn’t draw him any other way but happy.”

Jerry turned more pages.  “I...  Oooh, that looks like fun, too.  I wonder if the Venn Machine could make me six inches tall.”

“You’d... wait, what?”  Tina stared at her husband.  “You’d let me do that?”

“Would you enjoy yourself as much as the Tina in the picture is obviously doing?”

Tina ducked her head, but nodded.

“Then, yes.”

Tina squealed, and pounced her husband.  But before anything could come of it, Tyrone was at the door asking what they were doing.

Tina sighed sorrowfully, found her robe, and got out of bed.  “Let me get you some breakfast, sweetie.  We should take you somewhere fun for your birthday.  Somewhere that we can leave you for the afternoon.”

“That’s awesome!”

“Oh it will be.  For all of us.”

Jerry grinned, and climbed out of bed as well.  Tyrone’s eyes widened at the sight of his father’s tentacles, but he didn’t look worried.  He looked like he wanted to ask for a ride.  “We’ll find something that you can do every weekend.  Would you like that, sport?”

“Yes!” said Tina and Tyrone, together.

Jerry laughed, and gathered the loves of his life into his arms.  “This will be great!”

While Tina made breakfast, Tyrone rode Jerry for multiple laps around the house, laughing all the way.  Tina couldn’t help but smile, as well.

They found a drop-in gymnastics program for Tyrone, and when he saw all the colourful things to jump on, climb up, crawl under and bounce on, his eyes went wide.  “I get to do this every weekend?”

Tina and Jerry shared a happy look.  “Every weekend, sweetie.  Go have fun.  We’ll be back in... and he’s off.”  Tina chuckled.  “I’d almost be offended, if he wasn’t doing the same when I dropped him off at kindergarten, too.”

They played until Jerry suddenly reverted back to normal, leading Tina to sigh in disappointment.  Jerry just laughed.  “Missing the tentacles already?”

Tina nodded.  “You’re going to be spending every weekend with those instead of legs, you know.  Except better ones.  And more of them.”

“I don’t think Tyrone will mind.”

Late that night, after Tyrone was abed, Jerry heard a familiar squeak.  He muted the TV, frowned, and tried to place it.  There it was again.  He turned toward the source, and saw Tina posed sexily by the door, gag already in place.  He grinned hugely as he prowled toward her, sending her skittering off to the bedroom.  “Now that’s my kind of invitation.”