The Button, Chapter 3 - Inanimate Introspection
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After the initial frenzy triggered by Darryl's restoration from sequined
ballgown to human form, he and Yana spent a lazy Saturday morning cuddled
together in bed.

Eventually, Yana's curiosity got the better of her exhaustion.  "I have to
know. What did it feel like?"

Darryl smiled.  "You were wonderful, as always."

Yana sighed exasperatedly, "No, not that you goof.  When you were a dress.
What... what was it like?"

Darryl was silent for a long time.

"Sweetie?  Did I say something wrong?"

"Oh!  No, not that... it's just awfully hard to put into words."

Yana nodded.  "I know.  But could you try?"

Darryl sighed, and pulled her closer.  "The change itself was...
indescribable."

"That's no help!"

Darryl chuckled, his gaze drifting to the ceiling as he tried to remember.
"I didn't know what was happening.  There was this brief sensation
somewhere between pins-and-needles and a sort of soft soda-like fizz...
then simply nothing."

"You didn't feel anything?"

Darryl shook his head.  "Nothing," he said with emphasis.  "Nothing at
all. No sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, not hot or cold..."

Yana hmmed softly.  "So touch, then?"

"No.  Nothing at all.  It was like I'd been dropped into some kind of
formless void, adrift from reality.  I couldn't even hear myself breathe,
and after a moment realized that I couldn't!  I wasn't breathing!  That's
when I started to panic, just a bit."

"How awful!"

"Then I started to think about it a bit.  I wasn't suffocating, either.
That struck me as kind of odd...  And while I was thinking about that, and
what it could mean, I started to examine the situation.  While I had a
sort of kinesthetic sense of myself - I think it was some kind of residual
body-image - I couldn't feel myself moving, or anything."

"So... what did you do?"

Darryl shrugged.  "Nothing for it really - I assumed I was dead.  At first
I was bloody annoyed... then I sort of sighed, and waited to see what was
going to happen.  It was a pretty shabby sort of afterlife, after all - I
hoped that something would emerge from the emptiness."

"And?"

"Oddly enough, once I relaxed enough... something did."

Yana rolled toward Darryl, curiosity blending with excitement on her face.
"What did you see?"

"I... argh, I'm getting to another spot that's really hard to define.
What came to me was the... awareness, I guess, that you were still nearby.
That if I could only reach out the slightest of distances I'd be able to
touch you. It felt... warm, and somehow comforting."

"Awww, how sweet.  You could still feel the warmth of my love for you?"

Darryl chuckled softly.  "Perhaps that was it.  Perhaps it was just your
body heat."

"Spoilsport."

"OK, we'll go with love, then.  Whichever it was, it gave me something to
hang on to, and it kept me sane.  It seemed to move about, and change in
intensity, and I became quite curious as to what was going on."

Yana furrowed her brow.  "That would have been... when I was getting ready
to go, I guess?"

"I think so, yeah."

"So what happened when I put you on?"

"That was...  Up until that point, I was still assuming I was dead.  But
then I felt your warmth flow right through me, and become part of me.  In
that moment, I knew!  Somehow the button had transformed _me_ into your
dress."

"Yes, I'd figured that out rather quicker."

"Hush.  You got to see what had happened, I didn't."

"Sorry.  Go on..."

"Well, once I understood _what_ I was, things made a lot more sense.  I
was trying to use my human proprioception..."

"Your _what_?"

"Uh... my internal sense of self, I'd guess you'd call it my body-image."

"Then why not say that?" asked Yana, acerbically.

"Because it's... oh, nevermind.  In any case, once I started trying to
feel like a dress, things seemed to click into place."

"Feel like a dress?  How does a dress feel?"

"Oh, the options...  Silky, for one."  Darryl chuckled.

Yana sighed.  "You know what I meant."

"Yes, and I don't have a concrete answer for you.  I tried to imagine what
it was like to _be_ a dress - an effort considerably helped by the fact
that I _was_ one - and it seemed to work."

"How so?"

"Well, my body-imaged changed, for one - I actually think I have a pretty
good idea what the dress looked like, now.  Lots and lots of sequins,
right?"

Yana chuckled.  "Which explains why I didn't change you back right away."

"Yeah, I figured that out on the ride to the party.  You see, once I'd
accepted being a dress, and started to think like one..."

"Dresses don't think."

"Well, the one you were wearing last night did.  I can't speak to any of
the others out there.  As I allowed my inner self to align with what I
really was, I was able to feel my... shape, I guess.  Like if you think
about it, you can feel the orientation of your body?"

Yana closed her eyes, then nodded.  "OK, I think I see... or feel... what
you mean."

"At first, I only had a sense of shape - and it was a lovely shape, one I
knew well... you.  Then I was sure I was right."

Yana opened her eyes again to look into Darryl's.  "But... how did you
feel?"

"At that point?  Acceptance, I guess.  I was still buoyed by the warmth
you were giving me, and by the time we actually got to the party I was in
an odd way starting to look forward to it."

"Really?"

"Well, I would have preferred to dance with you the normal way... but I
_did_ dance with you, through the night.  I could feel your every move."
Darryl smiled a bit, eyes distant.

"You actually enjoyed that?  I got so caught up in the ball itself, I
totally forgot that it was _you_ I was wearing."

Darryl nodded, slowly.  "You know, you're right.  I did actually quite
enjoy myself.  Especially when my sense of touch started to return.  It
was so faint at first that I'd mistaken it for my... proprioception."

Yana mock-glared at him but didn't interrupt.

Darryl carried on.  "I think it was like one's eyes getting used to the
dark. Or how a blind person's other senses become more acute.  By halfway
through the evening it felt like I was snuggled up against you, skin on
skin.  It was actually pretty cool."

"Pretty cool?  I find that hard to believe."

"I could show you, if you like.  It'd be way better than trying to explain
it."

Yana pulled back from Darryl.  "S..show me?  What do you mean?"

Darryl shrugged obliviously, sat up in bed, and reached for the button on
his night-table.  "That you try it yourself."

As he reached toward Yana with the button she screeched and flailed
backward, tumbling out of the far side of the bed.  "NO!"

Darryl blinked a few times, then very carefully put the button back down.
"Yana?  Are you OK?"

"Have you put that cursed thing away yet?"

"It's on the night-table, yes."

Yana's head peeked up from the far side of the bed.  "Put it in the
drawer, so I can see you do it."

Darryl complied, mystified.  Once he had done so, Yana gestured him
closer. "Sit over on this side, where you can't reach it."

Darryl seated himself next to her on the floor, instead.  "OK, what's this
all about?  The button's perfectly safe..."

Yana shivered, pulling her knees up to her chest and rocking back and
forth. "I...  I just _really_ don't want you to use that on me."

"But... why?"

Yana's wild eyes bored into his.  "It just freaks me out, OK?"

"I don't understand..." muttered Darryl, hesitantly.

"You don't have to.  Just don't do it.  Don't even bring it near me."

"OK, OK.  I'm sorry.  I had no idea..."

Yana hugged him.  "Thank you."

"For?"

"For not pushing it.  I know how you get when something fascinates you..."

"Fascinates?  I'd hardly call it that..."

Yana put her finger on Darryl's lips to silence him.  "I've seen this look
on you before.  You want to explore this, don't you."

Darryl nodded, Yana's finger bobbing in time.

"Don't."

"But it's harmless..."

"No.  It isn't.  It's not safe, and we should give it back to your Aunt
Bea right now, before it does any more harm."

"What harm?  I'm fine."

"I'm not!  I'm a nervous wreck and I don't even know why."

"Yeah, I've never heard of button-phobia before.  What was that about?"

Yana sighed, and settled back against the side of the bed.  "I don't know.
It wasn't the button itself, it was... the whole idea of being turned into
clothing frightened me terribly."

"I don't get it.  Why clothing?"

"I don't know!"  Her brow furrowed.  "I wish I could remember..."

"Remember what?"

Yana nibbled on her lip nervously while her eyes searched for Darryl's
soul, or so it seemed.  "I've been a bit... vague about my past life with
you, yes?"

Darryl nodded.  "I've been curious about that for a while, but felt you'd
tell me when it was time."

"I would... if I could.  I remember waking up in a Salvation Army, causing
quite a commotion.  Nothing before that, I have no idea how I got there."

"Oh."  Darryl put his arm about Yana, pulling her close.  "That's...
awfully inconvenient.  Didn't anyone there see you arrive?"

Yana shook her head.  "No.  They said I just 'appeared out of nowhere', if
you can believe that.  They got all freaky about it, and booted me out
onto the street with only my suitcase."

"So what did you do?"

Yana leaned away from Darryl a bit, but he kept his arm about her.  "What
do you think I did?  I had no money, no papers, nothing..."

"You..."  Darryl looked puzzled for a moment, then realized what she was
implying.  "Oh.  I guess there weren't a lot of choices."

Yana ducked her head, shaking it sadly.  "No.  Do you hate me?"

"Hate you?  Just because you...  Of course not!"  Darryl pulled her into a
tight hug.

Yana smiled up at him, and kissed Darryl with all the devotion she could
show.

After they came up for air, Yana asked, "So... you believe me?"

Darryl nodded.  "I admit it does sound somewhat odd...  But yes, yes I
do."

"Oh... good!  Because it gets a bit stranger."

"Stranger than the past couple of days?"

Yana giggled.  "Um... maybe not.  I guess that will help, actually."

"Help?"

"Help you to accept...  I don't remember anything before I woke up that
day. At least, not anything recent.  I can remember little fragments here
and there, the face of my mother, bits of my childhood."

"But that's good!  Can you remember anything about where you grew up?
Maybe there'd be records..."

Yana shook her head sadly.  "Not really.  I know how odd it sounds, but I
remember a caravan... gypsies, I think, or something like them.  There's
an aura of fear over everything, we were always hiding."

Darryl frowned.  "But the last time there was a major crackdown on gypsies
was...  Wait.  Are you saying you grew up in the 1940s?"

Yana nodded.  "You're the only one who knows, other than my analyst, and
she thinks it's some kind of childhood fantasy."

Darryl harrumphed.  "Some people have no imagination."

"No kidding!  That's part of why I was hanging around at science fiction
conventions when I met you.  At least there, you find imaginations capable
of handling..."

"I always wondered what a cute girl like you was doing hanging around the
'con..."

"And now you know... the rest of the story," Yana quipped.

"Not really.  I mean, you look... well, maybe somewhere in your 20s, but
if you grew up in 1940..."

"I know.  It doesn't make sense."

Darryl craned his neck to look across the bed at the night-table.
"Maybe... maybe it does make a kind of sense.  I didn't get hungry while I
was your dress.  Would a transformed person age?"

Yana stared at him wide-eyed.  "Oh!  You think I spent... decades, as..."

Darryl turned back to face her.  "It fits, doesn't it?  If you did, I'm
quite frankly surprised you're still sane."

Yana nodded, slowly, digesting the idea.  "I guess.  It would explain the
blank spot."

"There's one way to test," Darryl commented, keeping his tone low and
casual.

"Test?"

Darryl stood up, and walked towards the night-table that contained the
magic button which had transformed him.  "We can see if it feels
familiar."

Yana ran out of the bedroom, screaming.

Darryl sighed.  "Or not."