Looner’s Party Service: The Mayhem Society
A Tale from Clowntopia by Hugo Prosperio
Inspired by Novadahedehog
Chapter Four: It’s Easy to Change your Mind
(Original Published on Patreon - February 2021)
In the corner of the room, a young woman named Delilah chuckled to herself as she sipped a drink of the punch and watched some folks turning into clowns and other things. She had been getting her punch when she watched one of the people that had recruited her into the society pick up a toy plastic wand, sit on the edge of the table, said she wanted to go Shrinky Dipping and soon she was shrinking out of her outfit and turning into a funny little nude clown before hopping into the small pool with a handful of other shrunken clowns. She saw a man literally turn into a balloon as he ate a small yellow candy from the bowl next to the punch, his body inflating and turning see-through before taking on a yellow tint like the candy, his body vanishing as he was left a simple balloon floating towards the ceiling.
Now she watched from afar as many of her society friends and their guests met the clown or his magical items and took a chance at changing. She wasn’t sure it was for her, so she sipped her drink and mused on it. She felt something bump into her sandaled foot and looked down. She saw the car that the clown had arrived in, much smaller now, driving around. As it backed up from the large foot it had collided with, a tiny clown stuck his head out.
“Sorry Miss! Sometimes I just miss my turn.” he chuckled.
She got down on her knees to examine it. “Wow, you are really in there, huh?”
“Last I checked. This is my job, Miss. I am a clown cabbie, so where else would I be.” She said.
“Well, I just...you are so small.” She laughed.
“I’d wager you’ve been watching Looner for a bit, so a small clown isn’t really that surprising, is it?” he said as she marveled at the car.
“Well, I suppose that’s true, I just watched a girl shrink out of her dress, it’s just not every day you see a hot wheels sized cab that actually operates as a cab,” she said.
“Well, how about you take a ride with me? Plenty of people left to change, so Looner won’t be needing to leave any time soon,” he said.
“Well, how does that work, I am quite big compared to your dinky cab.” Delilah said with a chuckle as she patted it with her fingertip.
“Well, it’s simple. You just gotta ask for a ride. Simply say “going my way” and I’ll be sure to take you for a spin you won’t forget.
She smirked. “Sure, why not. Going my way, stud?”
“Oooh stud,” he said snapping his fingers and suddenly she felt the world rushing around her. The space rented for the party expanded like something out of a science-fiction take and she soon saw the car was normal size. “Hop in,” he said.
She stood up and brushed off her knees and walked towards the car and then marveled at the room around her. “Shit. That’s crazy.”
“Come on, Toots, let’s get a move on.” he joked as she wandered over to the passenger side door and got in. The car seemed like any other, except the distinct smell of cotton candy.
“Well, how about I take you to where I am from and show you around a bit?” he asked.
“Sure. This is really cool” she said as she looked out the windshield.
The car began to peel out and left a trail of blue smoke as it ran towards a wall and then vanished before it hit, disappearing with a poof of that same smoke.
Elsewhere in the hall, Looner had found a group of society members very interested in his handiwork. They had watched his previous encounter with two girls, one who was now a busty clown and the other was now a shrunken man stuck in her cleavage, both becoming a part of the collection of the strange clown.
The three women sat in a circle around the clown who was happy to listen to their queries about his magic.
“So you can change basically anything about humans?” asked Veronica, a brunette with very long hair that hung down to her back. She was wearing a tight-fitting red dress that Looner noted fit her very well.
“Absolutely. Basically whatever I or they want. Usually me though.” he chuckled. “I do take requests though, so if you all have any ideas.”
Next to Veronica sat Sara, a short girl with black hair who wore a tight shirt and jeans, raised her hand. “Well, I would love to try out the magic you do, but I’m not sure what I’d even want.” She said.
“Really just gonna dive into it like that?” Asked her friend Claire, sitting on the other side of Veronica. She swished her red hair and giggled, which made Looner smile.
“Hey, I am happy to help!” he said with a chuckle. “If you want that is. I can whip up a fun transformation right now.”
“Well, hmmm. I mean I joined the society to try thrilling things, and this does sound like a thrill.” She said looking at her friends, who nodded. “Sure. I’ll try it.”
“Okay!.” he said, sprinkling his glittery dust over her head a bit, and smiling. “I think this will help you think of something.”
She shook her head for a bit, her eyes widening. In her mind’s eye, she saw a vision of a round object, and as it became clearer, she giggled. She knew just what it was, something silly she recalled from childhood. That’s what she would ask to become, yes.
She blinked a bit and then smiled. “Yeah, I think it did. I suddenly have this very specific desire. It’s burning in my chest to ask you...to turn me into a whoopee cushion?”
Her sudden admission made Claire laugh and made Veronica snort. “Oh my.” Veronica said to Claire with a look of amazement.
“OH my goodness, I love Whoopee Cushions!” Looner said with a smile “We’ll get you Whoopied up PRONTO!” he added. He took out a small red candy. “Suck on this, and when the flavor tastes like rubber, just say “I wish to be the silliest whoopie of all” and then just keep sucking. Don’t swallow it though. That’ll make it permanent. I figured you’d want a way back if it wasn’t everything you ever wanted.” he said with a wink.
She grinned and took the small candy. “This is so cool. I am excited.” she added putting the candy in her mouth. At first it tasted like strawberries, and it was quite flavorful, and she sucked and whistled a tune smiling at her friends. They watched with eager anticipation to see what would happen.
After a few minutes, she noticed the strawberry flavor fade and it tasted like...rubber. Like if you put a balloon in your mouth and chewed on it for a moment.
“There it is! Here we go!” she said with glee “I wish to be the SILLIEST whoopie of all!” she giggled, and began to suck harder. She felt a giddy shiver all over her body. The first change became evident when her skin started to turn pink, all over. She raised her arms and watched the color shift to her fingers and smiled. “Oh, it feels good.”
“It usually does.” Looner admitted.
She then felt her lips start to pucker and she watched as they stretched out and thinned until they resembled a larger version of the flap that air goes in and out of on a whoopee cushion. “MMMMPH!” she said with as much excitement as she could muster, pointing at her face to show her friends, who just watched in amazement.
Suddenly air began to flow out of the flap, giving off the tell-tale fart noise the novelty joke toy was known for and she began to shrink into her shirt, her black flats clattering to the floor as her legs pulled up into her jeans, and her arms began to pull into her sleeves. Soon her head was getting smaller and slowly descending into the neck of the shirt. Suddenly the clothing, which somehow stayed upright, plopped downward, her pants and panties hitting the floor next to her shoes while her shirt gathered onto the chair.
Soon the shirt showed some movement, and suddenly a figure popped out of the neck. It was Sara, but much smaller, pink all over, and her midsection had become the round inflated part of a Whoopie cushion, with small arms and legs sticking out, and her head atop, which had no hair now, just a pink bald little thing with massive sputtering lips.
“Guys,” it said in a fart-filled voice. “Look at me!”
“Sara, you look...well, this is something else.” Veronica said.
“I know. I feel so great,” she said. “I am the best whoopee cushion!” she said.
“Well not quite.” Said Looner with a smirk.
“What? Why not?”
“Well, you are still rather human-looking, not truly a whoopee cushion. Need to keep sucking”
She nodded and sucked away, and was thrilled when her arms began to pull into her round body, her hands starting to melt away, her little fingers wiggling as they disappeared.
“Neat!” she said. She then felt her legs tingle and in one single suck, they pulled upward, causing her to fall.
“OOf!” she sputtered and then gulped. The candy, it had gone down her throat. “Uh oh. That’s not good.” She said.
“She swallowed,” Claire said.
“Oh, my!” Chuckles said with a grin.
What was left of her face looked nervous, but as soon as it was down her throat, her mind started to tingle, the thoughts of life as a whoopee cushion not scary but rather as thrilling as any of her changes had been. She was fulfilling the true goal of the society, taking a thrill to its ultimate end. A new life awaited and as her changes began to speed up, she giggled a fart-like laugh that made her two friends chuckle.
Rapidly her legs vanished and her feet disappeared as her hands had, then her head began to suck downward. “Best Whoopee Cushion” she said as only her changed lips remained, the body inflating with fresh new air as her transformation finished.
“So if she swallowed, that means…” Veronica started.
“She’s a Whoopee Cushion for good!” The clown said, “BUT I don’t think she’ll mind, right Whoopie?”
The lips started to flap. “Woah, This feels great. I am truly a whoopee cushion just like I wanted. This is amazing, gals.” she said. “Someone sit on me. That’s what I am good for now. A fart balloon to be squished under butts!” she said, her voice sounding turned on by the fact.
The two girls looked oddly at the little pink rubber thing and didn’t move.
“Well if you guys won’t take her up, I will,” Looner said as he powered his very large bottom down onto the chair and a huge PPPBBTHHHHHHHHHHHHHH echoed through the room, and Veronica and Claire watched as he sat up, with the rubber form of their friend stuck to his butt. The cushion began to peel off and flopped to the floor with a giggle. A very out of breath voice said “Wow, that’s wonderful.”
“Well, since you swallowed it, there isn’t any going back to the cute human girl you were. You are a silly prop forever, so what do you say about joining my collection in the objects section?” He asked.
“Woah, that sounds so cool, as long as I can get sat on a lot. That was the best.” she said as he put his lips to hers and began to fill her with air, then handed her to Claire
“Why don’t you give it a shot?” She said.
Claire smiled and stood up and placed her friend on the seat. She sat down with force and laughed out loud when she heard the PHBBBTHHHHTHBBBBB from her transformed pal. A cloud of pink smoke poured around her as the sound echoed around and disappeared just as quickie. She sat up and peeled the former girl from her lips and handed her back to Looner. As she did this, she noticed her skin was white. “Woah. What’s going on?”
“Well, a whoopee cushion belonging to a magical clown is bound to have magical effects. This should be interesting.”
“You wanted to try a transformation too, right Claire?” Veronica asked.
“Well, yeah, but…” she started to say. “I guess there is no time like the present”
Her body shot downward in height, not shrinking so much as compressing, her weight shifting around making her look much thicker and stockier, her butt starting to expand wider and larger.
“A big butt for sitting on cushions!” Looner said. He watched her hair turn yellow and curl into a pair of pigtails that bounced as she transformed. Her feet exploded out of her shoes, toes wobbling about with newly painted purple toenails. Her lips inflated into a big fat smile with buck teeth sticking out while her ears wobbled and expanded out.
“Gosh” she said as she looked down at herself in her loose clothing.
“Fun, right? I hope you enjoyed that, Whoopie.” he said.
“Oh hell yeah,” she said in response. She let out a squeak of happiness as Looner inflated her once more then turned his attention to the newest clown.
“I needed another good whoopee cushion anyway, so this works out well.” He said letting the new silly gag toy slip into his wide pants.
“Now for you, my short stack friend, do you want to join the collection as a clown so you can use the whoopee whenever you like?”
“Yeth” she lisped. “Yeth Pleath! I wanna join the collecth-ion!”
Veronica laughed at her friend’s lisp. “Cute voice you got now”
“You got it,” he said with a devious grin, opening his overalls. A forceful wind was felt by all nearby, but especially Claire as she lifted out of her clothing and tattered shoes, floating in mid air. and as she went up, her body began to shrink down in size.
“Ohhhh my goooood!” she squeaked as she reduced down to the size of a mouse while floating just above the clown’s open overalls as he held his suspenders out ready to take her in. She then dropped down with a small “wheeeeeee!”
“Bye-bye, buddy!” Looner said. A few moments later, his pants rumbled and a loud fart sound emitted from it. “A happy landing!” he mused before turning to Veronica. “And then there was one!”
She nodded with approval. “Wow. Both of my friends are in your pants now. A wild thing to say, but it’s hilarious.”
“Well, I am glad you approve. Care to join them?” He asked with a grin.
“Well, I don’t think so, but I was curious about something.” the brunette said with a smile. “When you first sprinkled your dust on Sara, she didn’t want to be a whoopie cushion.”
“No, I gave her that idea.” He said. “It’s what I needed for my prop collection, and since she couldn’t make up her mind, I made it up for her. She’d never considered being a prop before I dusted her.”
“Do you do that a lot? Mess with people’s minds?” she asked, her curiosity peaking even further.
“Oh, yes. Mental manipulation is a key component to my magical transformations. Helps make things more fun. It’s also super simple.” he said. “Care for a demonstration? A small one.”
“Um. You want to mess with my mind?” She asked.
“Just to show you how it’s done. I promise we won’t go crazy.” Looner said.
“Okay. Sounds interesting. What do I do?” she asked.
“Just answer my questions as honestly as you can! Real simple, like I said” he said. He pondered for a moment, looking her up and down. “Do you like your hair?” he asked.
“Oh? Yeah! I’ve been growing it out!” she said with a bit of pride.
He smiled and sprinkled his dust over the hair she was so thrilled with and watched her eyes glimmer and grow wide for a moment.
“How do you feel about it now?” He asked with a grin.
She blinked. “I...hate it. I hate my hair. Woah.” she said. In her mind, the pride she had was entirely gone, replaced by repulsion at the long locks that hung from her head.
“Pretty impressive. Just one little thing.”
“Yeah, that’s crazy. Wow. Can you help me fix my hair?” she said. “I want to get rid of it, and I bet your magic can help.” she said.
“Oh, you don’t want me to make you like it again?”
“Eww. No. It’s too long and gets in the way of everything, why would I want to go back to enjoying this mess?”
“Fair enough! I’ll fix it right up for you, no problem.” he said as he took out a wand from his pants and tapped her head with it. The cute little plastic star at the end glowed as it touched her hair and suddenly the hair began to swirl upwards. It then began to suck downwards into her scalp in one fluid motion, disappearing rapidly, soon leaving behind a single tuft that stuck up comically from a mostly bald head. It turned a shade of green as it wiggled on top. He pulled out a mirror from his pants and showed her his handiwork.
“You like?”
“Oh so much better! And the color is a nice touch.” she said. “That was fun! Ask me something else!” She suggested.
“Most certainly! How do you feel about your chest? Your boobs?” he said pointing at her chest, which was sizable. If he had to guess, in the large D cup range.
“Oh, I love them. These girls have gotten me so many free drinks.” she said as he walked behind her and let the dust sprinkle on her now shiny bald scalp. Her eyes widened again and she let out a brief giggle and then a gasp.
“Holy shit, I LOATHE my boobs!!” she said. She hefted them up and grunted. “So heavy, so useless. Why did I ever enjoy these things.”
“This is quite fun.” He admitted. “Say the word and you’ll be proud of your knockers once more.”
He said readying his bag in hand.
“Hell no. Can you make them smaller?” She said.
“I mean, I can, certainly, but are you certain?”
“Absolutely. Shrink my tits, man!” she said with a laugh.
“One set of itty bitty titties coming up, my dear” He said. “Mind lowering the top of your dress so you can see the magic?”
She nodded and with eagerness, took the straps from her dress, to reveal her strapless bra. Looner grinned as he took his wand, touching the glowing star to each breast and she watched as they began to shrink and suck back into her chest rapidly, the nipples flapping a bit, sounding like a deflating balloon. Her bra started to slide down as her chest reduced down to what she would have referred to mosquito bites, barely an A cup.
“Yes!” she said excitedly as she took the bra and threw it aside. “No more heaving those things around.” she said with a smirk on her face, giving her small chest a quick cup of her hands, just astonished that she had even liked them big to begin with.
“Glad you are enjoying this. Want to continue with the demonstration?” he said.
“Oh for sure!” she said with a smile, enjoying the thrill of having her mind changed, not to mention her body.
“How do you feel about your looks. You are quite beautiful if you don’t mind a clown saying so!” he said.
“Oh thank you. I’ve always been proud of being able to look somewhat held together.” she said.
Dust flew quickly from his pinched fingertips over her mostly bald head, and her eyes got big once more, and then she stuck her tongue out.
“Ick. You know, being beautiful is so overrated,” she said with a smile. “Wow, I really don’t like looking pretty any more.” she said. “You have any solutions with that magic wand of yours?”
“Oh, do you even have to ask, but are you sure.”
“Sure as the nose on my face, Looner. Hit me with that ugly stick.” She said proudly.
“As long as you know you asked for it. This’ll be a doozy!” he said tapping the wand to her head, her ears, her lips, and finally her nose.
“Man, this really feels so damn good. I can see why people let you do all sorts of stuff” she said as her head started to shrink. It reduced down with a hissing noise and a bit of steam pouring from her ears. It got down to less than half of its original size, sitting oddly on her normal-sized neck and shoulders.
“Woah!” She said in a much smaller voice, giggling. “That’s a head rush, literally.”
Her ears wobbled on the shrunken noggin and then began to balloon in size, shooting back to their original size, then at least double, wiggling around like an elephant’s. She batted at them with her hands and smiled. “Oh wow.”
Next was her lips which started to puff up into a thick pout, going past beestung to simply swollen. From between the pillowy red flesh popped out a pair of pearly white buck teeth as her jaw reshaped substantially, giving her an overbite.
“Well, shith.” she said. “I gots a lithp now”
Finally her nose started to swell on her face, taking up a huge bit of real estate on the small head, resting atop her lips. The nose was slightly reddened and covered in pockmarks, the sign of former acne that never quite went away. In fact, her entire face was starting to fill with the little telltale divots, and on the now quite bulbous tip of her nose, a mole grew.
“Well that’s as ugly as I am comfortable making you right now, but what do you think?” he said, producing a mirror for her to look at her transformed head. She let out a gasp followed by a thick laugh.
“Lookin Good!” she said “Ugly ith the new Sexthy”
“Hmmm. Let me fix the lisp a bit” he said tapping her teeth. They shrunk a bit and the lips parted but remained just as thick.
“The lisp was kinda fun” she said with a fake pout.
“Yes, but we aren’t done experimenting yet! Maybe when we are finished I’ll put it back! Now then. What to talk about next? Aha, I know. How do you feel about your weight? Like it? Hate it?” he asked.
“Well, it has fluctuated a lot in my adult life, and right now I feel like I could stand to lose a few pounds, but nothing crazy, you know.” she said, curious what his angle was. He sprinkled his dust once more and her eyes widened again. She blinked.
“And now?”
“You know, I want to be...like...FAT” she said with a shocked look on her face. “Woah. I do! I really want to be fucking huge.” she said with a laugh. “I can’t believe it. You really are talented.”
“My magic is quite impressive if I say so myself.” the clown admitted. “Would you like to gain some weight right now?” He asked.
“You bet your silly ass!” She said. “Make me a fatass, please. God I feel so horny just thinking about it”
“One fatass coming up” he said reaching into his overalls, sticking his tongue out in concentration as he dug around. A loud fart sound emanated as he did, and he chuckled. “Your friend is getting really good at that.”
“Good ol’ Sara, turning herself into a fart balloon for the chuckles.” She said in response. She watched him pull out a small bottle with a cork stopper. He pulled it out and handed the bottle to her.
“Drink it down.” he said. “Then...hold it in” he chuckled.
She didn’t hesitate to take the bottle’s contents and chug it down. Almost immediately, she felt a strange sensation and a rumble in her belly. She then felt a burp forming in her throat, and she knew that’s what the clown meant by holding it in.
She felt it growing and growing, and soon her body began to tremble from the pressure building inside. It was not only trying to come out as a burp but also the other end as well, and she was certain she was about to blow, unable to hold it much longer. She looked at him with her mouth clamped closed and pleaded with her eyes.
“Not yet. Give it just a few more moments” he noted, watching with enthusiasm as her face turned beet red from holding it all in. Her body was wiggling rapidly now, the chair rocking with it as her tiny tuft of green hair flopped wildly side to side.
“Ready.” he said. “Set. GO.”
She released all the tension, opening her mouth, and from it came forth a mighty rumble, as well as a plume of purple smoke. The same was happening from her rear as the back of her dress blew out to allow the smoke to leave. It was even coming out of her ears and nose. As the smoke poured out, her entire body began to explode into something much larger.
It happened quite quickly but her body rapidly filled up with fat, her belly ballooning out forward, her ass expanding every which way, and her thighs and legs thickening up beyond anything she could have hoped for. Her feet even started to get chubby and her fingers were thicker too. Her face felt tingly as she finished burping and her cheeks swelled, and her face gained fat as well, producing quite a few new chins. This, of course, looked rather ridiculous on her smaller head.
Her dress had not really held up well, building and tearing at the new flesh being contained within, but she didn’t mind at all. She was ecstatic. She patted her face and then her belly and butt.
“I am HUGE! Oh my god, thank you Looner!” she said. “I can’t imagine why I ever wanted to LOSE weight, this was so much more sexy.”
“My pleasure. Now for the next part of the demonstration, I want to try something a bit different. Rather than focus on your body, let’s focus on your desires.” he said with a grin.
“Oh, that sounds intriguing.”
He smiled and slid off his shoes and pointed down at his huge feet. “What do you think of these bad boys? You into feet?”
“Um, well no.” she admitted. “Feet have never been something I’ve been big on one way or the other,” she said simply.
“Well then.” he said, letting loose more dust, and watching the sign of her eyes widening. He then saw her smile.
“Well, I mean, maybe a little. Feet are quite sexy. Yours being so big, well that’s just a bonus.” she said. “Look at those thick toes” she mused, pondering them.
“Would you care for a big pair of your own?” he asked.
“Well, I dunno, I do like feet, but for myself? I just don’t…” she stopped cold when she felt the dust tingling on her scalp. “Ohhhh. Yes. Yes, please. I want huge honkin’ floppy feet. Hook me up with the clodhoppers, clown man” she found herself saying, almost breathlessly.
He nodded and spread a sprinkling of the dust, this time over her feet, clad in black flats made tight by the weight gain she had just experienced. Suddenly that delightful sensation returned, and her feet started to strain the shoes to their breaking point, the fabric spitting down the seams of the footwear and she watched them burst apart as her feet went flying forward, stretching out and upwards, growing longer and larger, widening and thickening up to become as huge as she had hoped. The toes wiggled as they grew bigger and thicker. Soon the growth came to a stop and her feet were actually bigger than Looner’s by a few inches. Massive but silly, he thought.
“Damn, they are so sexy. I love them.” she said kicking them up and down, watching them wobble like they didn’t have a bone in them. “Clown feet. Who’d have thought they would be such a turn on”
“Well, I gotta say, they are quite a good look on you. A perfect fit for someone with such a massive foot fetish like yourself.”
“Well, I mean, feet are sexy, but I wouldn’t say I have a massive…” she said, feeling the tingle. “Wait, did you just?”
“Whoops, it slipped” He giggled watching her eyes glow and grow.
“Woah. Holy shit, I can barely stop thinking about big sexy feet. Mine are delightful, yours are just...jesus christ, I’m so horny” she said as she bit her lower fatter lip.
“Well,” he said, sitting down and propping his feet up on the chair next to her. “You want a closer look at these bad boys. Really get up close?”
“God, would I ever. What do I have to do” She asked
“Simple.” he said waving his wand tapping her a few times. “Shrink!”
In a second, she began to descend into the tattered remains of her fancy dress, as it became far too large for her.
“Woahhhhhhhh!” she cried out as her body sucked down to a much smaller size in mere moments. Her weight had not quite shifted as well as the rest of her, so she now looked massively fat, even more so than she had during her weight gain. Soon she stood up, naked and dazed from the tingling.
“Gosh, that was the most intense one yet.”
“Well, hop on over,” the clown said to her. She made a slightly perilous leap from her chair to the one his feet were on and noticed his feet were about six or so inches taller than she was. “How is that for a close-up!”
“Oh my god!” she said as she hugged the foot and sniffed it with her enlarged nose. “Woah, this is so goddamn sexy and I can’t believe I’m saying that. I almost wish the girls were here to see this. It’s so crazy.”
“That’s the best kind of review,” he said with a smile. “Anything I’ve changed you’d like to take back?”
“Not a one. This has been far too much fun!” She said
“Then I have one last question, Ronnie,” he said giving her a cutesy nickname
“Shoot.”
“What are your thoughts on joining my collection?” he asked
“I don’t think so, Looner. This has been a blast, but I don’t think I’d be interested in belonging to you.”
“Oh?” he said he blew the dust towards her this time, his last bit of suggestive magic. “Well I have a new idea for a club inside the collection. You’d get to spend so much time around some feet.” He said
Her eyes gave the tell-tale sign of the magic working and she smiled. “What is it?”
“Well, drink this.” he said reaching into his pockets and pulling out a smaller bottle of bluish liquid and handing it to her. To him, it was barely a sip, but to her, it was like a barrel. “If you are interested, that is.” he said, to give her one last bit of enticement.
She took it and gulped down as much as she could. Before she was finished, he could see her skin starting to turn pale, her entire naked form taking on the snow-white shade of a whiteface clown, and her face got a few more adornments in some triangles painted above and below her eyes, and red lipstick curling her fat smile into something more clownish.
“Hold on tight, gal. You are in for a ride,” he said as he watched her start to shrink again, this time it was a bit harder to see happen because it was so fast, but her form zipped down towards the chair, with her voice fading down as she went.
“Hoooly shit” she cried out as the foot loomed larger and larger in front of her, becoming like a skyscraper.
“Well damn if you aren’t just the tiniest clown I’ve made in a long time!” he said as he removed his foot and leaned in close. “You can’t even be an inch tall now!”
“Why am I this small? Not that it didn’t feel amazing” she asked in a very squeaky voice.
“Well, you are gonna be the first of my collection of Shoe Dwellers. You live in my shoe and get to spend as much time around feet as possible. A dream come true for the huge foot freak you are!” he said.
“Woah! That’s amazing. I’m in”
“Well you were in the moment you drank the potion, but I am glad you agree, Ronnie the Shoe-Dweller!!” he chuckled as he gingerly picked her up on his fingertip, and with his other hand he held up his right shoe. He then tipped his finger and let her fall. To her, it was like falling from an airplane to the ground below, and she let out a yelp but found she was perfectly unharmed when she hit the sole of the shoe.
“The drink turned you into a clown, so you are cartoonishly indestructible now. That way if you ever get too close to a toe or something you’ll be just fine”
“Wow. Thanks for the demonstration Looner. Put your shoe on so I can start living the good life!” she said.
“You got it!” he said as he put the shoe on the ground and slid his foot into the shoe, knowing how happy she was.
“Three happy customers. This party is pretty good,” he said to himself. He wandered away from the chair, leaving the remains of the trio’s outfits behind so that others would know magic had indeed happened. As he strolled around the party, he decided to cause a bit of random mischief
“You know that head shrink was really silly and I kinda dig it.” he said as he wandered over to a bunch of guests chatting in the corner. He giggled and strutted up, ready for more fun.
Meanwhile, in Clowntopia, a flash of color blasted onto one of the streets as the tiny cab with Cabbie and his human fare named Delilah burst out of the portal it had opened and spun to a stop.
“Woah.” said Delilah as her hair stood on end. “That was indeed a wild ride.”
“Best one short of Mister Toad.” the clown cab driver said as he straightened out and began to drive down the street.
“This place is incredible. Clowntopia you called it?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s strange but it’s home.” he said when suddenly he gulped. A tiny cop car drove by, the little clown inside looking oddly at them.
“Crud.” he said as he quickly pulled down a side alley and stopped.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“Well, you see, I kind of forgot. Only certain clowns are supposed to take unchanged humans through a portal. I ain’t one of them.” he said. “If the coppers check us out, I could get in serious trouble.”
“Well I don’t want that! You’ve been so nice to me. How can I help?”
“I dunno. I mean...well, wait. I could disguise you and they wouldn’t know I brought a human into the clown world.”
“Disguise me? I mean, I guess I could play a little dress up.”
“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. Here. take this.” he said digging out a gold token from his fare machine. “Hold it tight. I’ll do the rest.”
She took it in her hand and gripped it. “Okay, let’s do this.”
He took his hand over hers and hummed for a moment. “Magical wishing coin from inside my car, I wish this girl was a toon cigar!”
“Wha?” she started to say before she felt the coin glowing arm in her hand. The cab driver sat back and watched as her entire body started to glow golden like the coin, and then in one swift motion, her entire body sucked downward, her clothing falling down to the seat of the car.
“Hey, what gives” came a voice from inside, it was a bit deeper, raspier and suddenly a long brown tube-like figure stood up. It looked like a big thick stogie-style cigar, but it had a face! Not to mention that it had small thin arms and legs. The arms ended in three-digit fingers, while the legs ended with stumpy round feet. Around the “waist” of this figure was a blue label that said “Cabbie’s Cigars”
“Woah, yous got real big” said the voice. “My voice! What happened to my voice”
“Well, I kind of had to think of something quick, and well...we cab drivers here in Clowntopia are known for our love of Toon Cigars. Sorry, It just kind of happened.”
“Oh crap. I am actually a CIGAR?!” it said. It was hard to tell if the voice was male or female.
“Yep. But don’t worry, I’ll turn you back when it’s safe. For now” he said picking up the stogie that was once a cute woman, “Sit tight in your ashtray” he said, resting it in the metal holding area.
The cigar formerly known as Delilah was not sure if this was a good idea, it certainly didn’t feel like one, but something about laying down in the ashtray, looking up at the clown felt...comforting.
“Okay, but yous better turn me back.”
“I promise.” he said.
And he meant it. He hoped. He didn’t know if that coin would work in reverse, but best not to tell the cigar that. He fired up the cab and pulled out of the alley and went about his route, to see if maybe he could pick up a fare or two before taking the cigar back to the party.
Back at the party, Looner had taken his wand and tapped it to the heads of a young couple sipping water, trying to stay out of the way of the clowns and weirdness, and watched as their heads began to shrink rather quickly down to golfball-sized orbs. The girl’s head also stretched up a bit taking on an egg shape, while the boy’s had stretched the other way, like a football.
They giggled dumbly as with their shrinking, their brains shrank too, a new side effect that Looner found quite fascinating. He chuckled as he scanned the party to see what other fun he could have. He noticed a young woman with purple hair staring at the old TV he set up and was excited to see what she might encounter, and a young man had stepped over to the candy bowl on the table. Oh what a joy that would be to watch, he thought.
But first, he turned to the couple with tiny heads and grinned.
“How do you two feel about Feet?”