Looner’s Party Service: The Mayhem Society
A Tale from Clowntopia by Hugo Prosperio
Inspired by Novadahedehog

Part One: A Strange Job for Looner

The bar looked like a normal place one might go and get a drink on the outside, but stepping inside, one would find something that defied any conceptions they might hold about such a place. Inside, it was a colorful setting that evoked a cartoon more than a dive bar. Every single wall was a different color with polka dots, or stripes, or zig zags, even one with leopard spots. At the center of the room sat a gigantic round bar, with shelves upon shelves of bottles filled with liquids of every shade imaginable. Above the bar spun a silver shiny disco ball, colored lights hitting it, sending their refraction around, shimmering against the walls in an almost hypnotic way. The disco ball looked like it was a clown, with shoes hanging from the bottom and big gloves sticking out to the side, and even what looked like a face, if someone were looking closely. Looking even closer, they might have even seen the face smiling as it poured it’s light around the room.

“Woah” said a young man who stepped in, his black hair slicked down. “Just as colorful as we were told.” he said to the woman next to him. The blond woman stepped inside and looked around, and let out a tiny gasp. “Wow. It’s like ToonTown at Disneyland.”

As the two gawked and looked around, a third person stepped in behind them, about five years younger than either of them, with a head of curly red hair that caught the disco lights in such a way it looked like she had pixie dust floating in her locks. This is what caught the attention of the strange clown standing behind the bar. Looner was a very large rotund looking clown, his body almost impossibly round, wrapped in a pair of yellow overalls with red polka dots and a white frilly shirt underneath. His eyes followed the redhead more than the other two, and he noted she was essentially being ignored by the other two, despite clearly being with them.

Looner stood there looking at the trio of humans who had come into his bar on a late afternoon, hands on his round belly in place of hips and he simply looked confused. In a blur of excited chattering and lots of handing, he determined the man was named Scott, his “girlfriend”, the clown assumed, was Susan, and they barely mentioned the other girl. The main thing that stood out was that they claimed to know who he was, and more importantly, what he could do. His former boss, Chuckles, had warned him that this happened occasionally, usually because of clever uses of the internet. While the clown gave them odd looks, they were happy to prattle on and describe why they had sought him out.

“You see, Mr. Looner.” Scott began to say.

“You can just call me Looner.” the rotund clown said. “Mister is far too formal for me, pal.” he said.

“Yes, Looner, well you are probably wondering what we are even doing here if we know what it is you do.” he continued.

The clown leaned on his bar while sipping from a colorful cocktail he had made for himself. “Yes, that does have me curious. Not many humans knowingly walk in here”

“Well, you see, me and Susan here represent a group called The Mayhem Society. We are a bit...odd.”

“Well, I do love odd.” Looner said, his smile widening and getting much more wicked looking.

“Our society seeks out scenarios that will allow us to experience the ultimate thrills. We have done some crazy things in our time, but when we found the stories of parties hosted by a round clown with magical powers...we had to investigate.”

“How’d you find those stories, might I ask?”

“The internet,” said Susan.

“There it is. Thought so. So how can I be of assistance?”

“Well, we wanted to hire you out for a party of sorts. It’s not like the college parties you usually do, it’d be members of the society and a few people we invite along to spice things up.”

“If you’ve read about me and my kind, you really want me to come to your little club and do my thing? That’s quite risky for your humanity, I must say.” Looner giggled.

“Well, you see, like he mentioned, it’s the thrill that drives us. When we discussed it, we decided that transforming ourselves would be the ultimate thrill, and the society decided it was worth that risk to reach out to you” Scott replied.

Looner sucked on his teeth for a moment, considering this. It would appear they thought this was like bungee jumping off a bridge, a thrill of coming close to oblivion without the actual danger. This led him to the conclusion that they thought what he would do to them could be undone. This fired a spark of a chuckle in his throat, but he decided to keep it to himself. He then cocked his head and looked at the redhead who was looking down at her phone behind the two eager idiots.

“That brings me to my next question, who is this?” He said pointing to the other member of the party, a girl in her late twenties who looked kind of dazed.

“This is Emily. She wanted to join the society, so we offered her a chance to take a dive right into the ultimate thrill so we could ask you for a demonstration.” Scott said.

“Hi.” the girl said, her curly red hair ragged and untamed, wearing a tank top and a pair of gym shorts. She was clearly high or drunk, or a combination of the two, and probably hadn’t made this decision with the best state of mind, Looner thought. His favorite kind of decision making, if he was being honest with himself.

“Hello.” Looner said, leaving the bar and walking over to her. “Nice to meet you, Emily. You are also aware of what I do?” he asked.

“Yes. You change people into clowns.” she said as she looked up at him.

“Among other things. And you are willing to let me do that to you? Not often I run into that scenario.”

“Well, they said it would be the perfect way to join the society.” she added, looking a bit confused by the line of questioning.

Looner leaned in towards her ear and whispered “And you want to join their club that badly?”

She nodded. “Yes.” she whispered back. “It’s the first time I’ve felt like I’ve belonged in a long time.”

“You want to belong to something, huh.” He said with a smile flickering back onto his face. “Very well.” he said standing up before resuming his normal tone of voice.

“So you want me to demonstrate on her?” He added, turning back to the couple.

“If you wouldn’t mind. I mean, we believe the stories, and the video we found was very convincing…” Scott mentioned.

“Video. There is a video? Of course there is, with you all carrying one of these” he said, taking Emily’s phone and eyeing it for a moment before handing it back. “Nothing surprises me about humans anymore, honestly.”

“Ah, well, seeing your work with our own eyes will be just what we need to hire you on the spot.” Susan said.

“Well, it doesn’t take much arm twisting to get me to do a transformation, so sure, I’d love to!” he said, a more cheerful tone filling his voice. “Any requests?” he asked.

“Oh uh, well, we hadn’t really thought of that. You could surprise us.” Susan said.

“Well, in that case, I have an idea, and a stipulation.” he said. “Did your research on me dig up anything on Looner’s Collection?” he asked.

“No...not that I know.” said Scott.

“I thought not.” he said, his smile wide, “Well, it means that some of the people I transform, I keep.” he said. He held up a finger as if to ask his guests to wait a second and then reached into his overalls. He then pulled out a small little fat clown with huge feet and a big smile on it’s little face.

“This little fella is Dex. He used to be Dakota, a very pretty college girl who I convinced to try a different life, and after his experience he was chomping at the bit to join my collection, weren’t you Dex?”

The tiny little clown giggled. “Oh absolutely. Living in your pants is so magical. It’s like the best apartment complex ever.”

Emily stepped forward and looked at the small man. “He was a he?” she said curiously.

“I was?” Dex said.

“His memory is a little foggy, but yes, he was she, and now she is he and very happy.” he said, pleased at how it all rhymed.

“That’s crazy.” Emily said with a chuckle as Looner patted Dex on the head and offered him to Emily.

“Yes, quite! You’d make a cute clown dude yourself, I must say.” he said she took the clown and held him. He waved at her, giggling to himself.

“Oh me? You really think so?”  she said. She found herself instantly enamoured with the tiny creature in her hand, how had he gotten himself that way, was he as willing as she was to do something so stupid just for a little bit of validation. Even the booze and drugs they had suggested she do prior to her visit wasn’t cutting through all the doubt she felt about this moment she had stepped into, but holding the tiny clown in her hand, the doubt seemed to melt away for a moment. Perhaps this would lead to a sense of happiness she hadn’t even imagined when Scott and Susan approached her.

“Oh absolutely. You’d make an excellent clown!” Dex said excitedly.

“Ehem…” Scott interjected. “Sorry to interrupt this cute introduction, but you said there was a stipulation.”

Looner’s head snapped towards Scott, noting the indifference to how Emily felt about all this, and sighing a bit before walking over.

“Oh yes” he said as he leaned into the two clients and lowered his voice. “I get to keep your friend here. You agree to that and if you want to hire me, I am there.”

“Oh. Well, I mean, I guess that is quite a risk, but very worthy of the Mayhem Society.” Susan said with an approving look at Scott, although it had a mix of confusion in it.

“She knew the risks, she wanted to join, and while she may not get to attend the party as one of us, she will have earned her title.” Scott replied with a look of solid assurance. “Yes, that’s fine, Looner. She is yours.”

“Perfect!” he said loudly as he clapped his gloved hands together and chuckled. “It’s been a while since I had a big gathering to play with. Actually the party where I found Dex was the last one.” he said as he turned to look at Emily poking Dex in the belly, which made him laugh out loud.

“He’s so cute at that size.” She said as Looner returned to her side. “Is it fun being small?”

“Oh it’s a blast!” Dex said as Looner pinched his midsection and lifted him out of Emily’s hands and placed him on the bar.

“Well, since it’s become clear you’d be willing to be transformed to demonstrate what I can do, would you like to start there?” he asked with a smile. The smile showed that he had a plan in mind for her, but he wanted her to feel like she was in control for a bit.

“Oh, wow, I hadn’t even thought of that, but I suppose that would be a good demonstration!” she said, turning to the couple. They nodded enthusiastically. She looked at Looner and nodded too. “Let’s do it!”

He patted the bar next to where Dex stood “Hop on up, take a seat and I’ll get started.” he said. She did so, her butt wiggling as she slid back onto the bar, Dex making sure not to get crushed by the girl.

“Sorry, little fella.” She said.

“No worries, big lady. Although, I guess not for much longer.”

As the two conversed, Looner took out the trustiest tool in his arsenal, his bag of magical dust. Chuckles had given him one ages ago, but he had upgraded to his own. It was a bit stronger, worked faster, and it came in a much fancier embroidered bag, which in his eyes added a touch of class to the experience. The dust was his favorite thing to use, because it was so simple and had some great results. He pinched a tiny bit in his fingers, and closed his eyes as he dropped it over the girl’s red hair, imagining her shrinking down. He then opened his eyes after hearing her speak.

“Woah, tingly.” she said.

In an instant, Susan and Scott watched with wide eyes as their newest recruit began to dwindle in size. The tank top she was wearing began to sag off her shoulders showing she was not wearing a bra, and her shorts were also getting baggy on her legs which were pulling up, her feet sliding out of the flat sandals she was wearing, letting them slap down to the floor. Her shorts then fell too as she was now sitting in oversized panties and a shirt that was starting to fit her like a tent.

“Holy crap, it does work.” Susan said.

Looner gave them a satisfied nod, and looked down at the shrinking girl, who was too taken by the sensations to do much of anything but look around.

Emily watched the room grow larger from her perspective, and her heart beat rapidly, both from a sense of knowing her life was not going to be the same, and also from a sense of being turned on by the whole thing. Her face flushed red as she tried to fiddle with her clothing, like she could just pull it in a few places and it would fit fine again, but instead, it continued to grow, and she was aware she would soon be naked in front of the clowns, and the society members.

Dex clapped his pudgy hands in wonderment. “Haven’t seen you do this in a while, Looner.”

“It’s been a fair bit, yeah, I did miss it.” the clown stated as he watched the shirt draped over the girl’s head, so he took the liberty of removing it, leaving a small shrinking girl standing there, naked. She stood up and looked down at the floor, seeing her shorts, panties, and sandals just on the floor. She then looked up at Looner and then to Dex. She was enamored with how much larger they’d become. Looner was a giant, and the clown she had held in her hand moments before was now almost an equal height to her, although as the shrinking slowed to a stop, she was a bit taller than he was anyway.

She looked up at Looner, and felt something strong growing in her chest, a sensation of feeling welcome, of being at peace. She was now sober, she knew that the weed and liquor having worn off after the shrinking shocked it out of her system, like the world’s best secret hangover cure.

“That was amazing, you really got what it takes. We are happy to have you on board” said Scott.

Looner raised a big finger to his lips and made a shushing noise.

“Not finished yet.” he said as he poked the shrunken girl on the head and she looked up at him.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said you’d make a cute dude like him, so here you go.” he said as he handed her a small pair of overalls. “Put em on.”

She didn’t hesitate to slide them over her naked self, and noticed the straps were perfect for her shoulders, but the rest of the outfit was very large. She looked disappointed at first but then from within the sagging clothing came a glow. She then gasped as her entire form started to fill out into the clothing.

Her belly bulged out, the small little pooch she had from snacking a bit too much when she was high was now blowing out into a full grown belly, pushing right up the vinyl fabric that made up the overalls. Her chest was doing the opposite, flattening out and sagging a tad as they went from female mammaries to a flabby man’s chest.

“Oh god, not sure I was ready for that” she said, chuckling nervously. Being turned into a man was not something she had envisioned for this, although she inwardly chuckled at the notion of her having had any idea what to expect before coming here today. She felt a tad bit foolish, but she also felt a sense that everything was happening the way it needed to. She was broken out of her thoughts by the clown directly speaking to her.

“Remember, dear.” Looner said. “You agreed to let me demo my magic on you, and you can’t back out now.”

“Yeah, it's just really weird to have it actually happen rather than have it shown to me on a fuzzy screen.” she said as she felt her new chest and heard her voice start to change, getting deeper.

“Of course. I doubt you, or Scott or Suzie…” he said.

“It’s Susan.” the woman said with a bit of a grimace at the childish nickname she didn’t care much for.

“Sure it is. As I was saying, I doubt any of you really fully comprehend what it is I do, and what it will do to you, but you walked in that door and asked. You know how rare that is? Can’t NOT take advantage of that” the clown chuckled.

The little changing woman gasped when the woman part began to be in question, and as her insides and outsides shifted to match, her hair began to suck into her head, leaving a single tuft at the top of her head, which began to turn blue. Her skin began to turn pale and white while her bare feet began to expand and widen, sticking out to the sides as her toes wobbled and wiggled. Her hands did something similar as they began to inflate and the middle and ring fingers merged into one, while the rest thickened to match. She looked at them and let out a squeak of curious surprise.

“Woah.” the tiny clown said in a much deeper voice. The voice was really trippy to Emily, having had her sweet, almost childlike voice her entire life, and here she was now sounding like a man, although a very small, shrunken man, so it was still a much sillier sounding deepness than anything she had ever experienced.

“I think that’s enough.” Susan said. “We get the idea. Good work.”

“She’s mine, remember you agreed” Looner said as the little man finished turning into a clown with a small pop and a red round nose appearing on his face.

“Mine.” echoed the words of the clown in the ears of his little demonstration. Emily found that to be odd, how was she his. How was that possible? She was just here to demonstrate. She then looked over to Susan and Scott and saw their faces, and knew that they had bargained with the clown more than she knew.

“Yours?” she said. The clown nodded and lowered himself down to look at her.

“Yes. You said you wanted to belong, and I can help you with that. You will belong to me, be a part of my collection, and you’ll never feel lonely or unwanted again. No need to seek solace in the comfort of nitwits or idiots again.” he silently gestured towards the couple watching. “Just the silliest company you could ever keep, a clown and his many friends.”

She smiled. The words were the most comforting thing spoken to her in so long that she nodded and stood up proud, looking down at her new body, and shook her head. “Let’s finish it, Looner.”

“She is now my little man, and I have one thing left” he said as he closed his eyes and sprinkled one last bit of magical dust over the little clown fellow. In her mind, everything shifted to a male mindset, which was odd for him to think about, knowing he had been her just moments before, but it was probably the least strange thing to happen in the demonstration, so he shrugged and went with it.

As the dust settled, the tiny new clown giggled loudly and his arms stuck to his legs, hands flapping out to his side showing off their bigger, inflated look. His legs sucked together and he felt stiff all over, while his feet began to expand again, while his legs started to shrink downward, getting thicker as they did. His whole form shimmered as it took on a plastic sheen that rippled up to his head which then began to lift upwards and expand, getting larger with the hiss of an inflating balloon.

“What in the world.” Scott said.

“Gosh, this is so silly.” the little clown squeaked, a voice sounding like a recording coming from the little guy. “Look at me, guys, I am so SILLY."

“Sure are, little buddy. You see, my former boss Chuckles is well known for having a little bobble-head doll as a companion at his shop. I thought it was high time I had my own.” He said, tapping the head and watching as it separated from the neck in a snap, and began to wobble around, clearly on a spring.

“Hehee, I bobble around for the clown.” said the man who sounded more childish than the girl who had sat on the bar.

“Woah.” Susan said. “This is intense.”

“You know, I used to go for boat rides down the river and that was intense.” Looner started.
“The tents kept sinking, so we switched to canoes!” he added with a huge laugh, before realizing the two humans were just staring at him.

“Intense. In Tents? Never mind. Anyway, is that a suitable demonstration?” he asked as he picked up the bobblehead and moved it over to the far corner of the bar by his tip-jar and a sign that advertised joining Looner’s Collection as a perk of the bar. He took Dex and slipped him back into the large overalls, which made the clown giggle and let out a “WHEE!” as he went down, which made Susan laugh.

“Cute isn’t he.” he noted her reaction to putting the little guy away and made a mental note for later.” Anyway, am I hired?”

“Yes. Without a doubt.” Said Scott.

“Well, that’s good.” Looner said as he waddled over and handed them a business card with a small red balloon on the center.

“Just rub the balloon and say my name when you are ready to begin your festivities. I’ll be there shortly after.”

“Really?” Scott said. “That simple.”

“Magic usually is pretty simple, even if it’s complicated. Now then, I’ll see you both soon. Thanks for the bobble-head. I am sure he’ll liven this place up. Now I have customers coming in and need to get to work.” He said as he pointed to a few people making the mistake of it being an average bar.

“We’ll leave you to it. See you soon.” Scott added as the two of them left.

Back at the bar, Looner leaned down to his new toy. “I doubt they have any idea of how much trouble they are getting themselves into, but you do, don’t you.”

“Gosh, but it’s so fun to be yours, Looner.” he said.

“Yes, the most fun, little guy, and your two foolish friends will learn just how fun I can be.” he chuckled before turning to greet his new guests.

“What can Looner fix for you?” He said deviously.

To be Continued...