The Reporter and the Clowns
A Clowntopia Tale by Hugo Prosperio
Part Four: Behind Bars
For psychoboy07
(Follows the stories Don’t Make Me Laugh and No Laughing Matter)
---
“No!” shouted Ginny Pierce as she was tossed into a cell that reminded her of a dungeon. Cold grey walls and black bars surrounded her. The bars were slammed shut by a hulking female clown with a doofy grin and a thick chuckle.
“Ms. Belle will be down to speak with you in due time. Until then, sit in there, little birdy and don’t chirp to much.” the clown spoke with a threatening tone. Her one tuft of red hair bobbed back forth as her body thundered towards the stairs back up to the club.
Jezzy had seemed so nice, offered her a drink and everything, but then with not much more than a moment’s notice, ordered the brutish girl clown to lock her away. This day was getting worse and worse for Ginny, and she started to cry, a now common occurrence for her in this strange world she had become imprisoned in thanks to her investigation.
“Why you crying, girl?” asked a clown in the next cell over. “And why ain’t yous a clown yet? Hard to say the last time I saw a normie like yourself.” he said with a thick accent. She looked over to see a man in ragged clothing and a painted on beard, a black nose, and a tattered hat upon his bald head.
“I have no inner clown.” she said simply and softly, not wanting to chat with anyone at the moment.
“Aye, shame that.” he said. “I’ve only met one other like that, and he was a sad sad story. Nearly went mad with the jealousy it gave him, he did.”
“That’s comforting.” Ginny spat at the man, louder than she intended.
“I mean you no offense, dear. It’s a tough thing, but you aren’t alone. Even Jezzy Belle’s own child has no inner clown.” he said.
“That’ll be enough of that, Francis.” came a chilling voice from the stairs. “Spilling my secrets is not appreciated and is one of the many reasons why you are stuck in this cell and not on the streets peddling for money.”
Jezzy Belle stepped into the dim lighting of the dungeon and walked towards the cage holding the hobo clown.
“If you desire your freedom, I’d keep your lips sealed, and mind your Ps and Qs, got that?”
He nodded and pulled his hat over his eyes as he laid on his bench to try and sleep.
“As for you, my sweet darling boring girl. Let’s have a chat.” the clown jeered with a smirk.
“We could have done that at the bar, why did you lock me up.” Ginny asked.
“Simple. I didn’t want you to leave. You offer something very important to me, and I want to help you, but most think my methods are a bit extreme for the world of clowns. Chuckles keeps me under close watch, pretending to have moral authority over me. He changes hapless humans just the same as I do, but he pretends he is the better clown. Well, I am always looking for a way to prove him wrong.” she snalred. She snapped her fingers and the bars slid open, allowing her to step in. They closed behind her and she sat on the bench next to the girl.
“So when you said that you were told you had no Inner Clown, well, I knew who had done that bit of damnage. He’s so narrow minded, never really looking at what’s in front of him. You may lack what most clowns look for in a human, but you are special, my dear.”
“They said they couldn’t change me besides basic cosmetic differences.” Ginny added, pointing to her overly inflated chest.
“True. I imagine they were limited in their powers, and Chuckles is taking things extra cautiously since The Incident.”
“The what” Ginny asked.
Jezzy chuckled. “Oh, Chuckles got himself in a bit of hot water with our leadership here in the city. He is entrusted with the portal between worlds, as his father was before him, but recently he has been having issues. His store acts as the doorway between your world and ours.” she noted.
“It normally never visits the same place twice, allowing for his work to go unnoticed by the humans. Usually one or two disappear from a town and the store is gone the next day, and eventually, the magic makes it so that no one remembers those humans ever existed. Kind of brutal, if you ask me.” she continued.
Ginny nodded. “Why was he in trouble?”
“Well, the store has recently been making several stops in one town in particular, and it has caused a few headaches, to be sure.”
“Springsdale.” Ginny muttered.
“Oh you know it! Are you from Springsdale?” the clown asked with a curious gleam in her eye.
“No. I was investigating the disappearances in the town, as well as the strange matter of a police chief who had been taken into custody by a local science laboratory.”
“Ah, and Jen-Jen was covering her lover’s tracks and took you here. How wonderful. How delightful. Well, at any rate, the last person to come here from that town was promised by Chuckles that no harm would come to her, but he let her slip through his fingers, and she vanished without a trace. This made the Clown Council decide to investigate Chuckles and his little store. The goody two shoes deserves it, if you ask me.”
“And what does this have to do with my problem?” Ginny demanded.
“Well, I was just getting to that. As I said, any chance to prove him wrong is not something I will turn away. I am going to turn you into a clown, hell or high water, and he will be left looking the fool that he truly is.” Jezzy said with a determined grin.
“But what if I just want to go home.” Ginny asked quietly.
“Now, you know that’s not true. Not after what Jen-Jen did to you. I can’t change that. You want to be a clown, and you will be, for a price.” Jezzy noted.
“What price? I am not really in a position to bargain.” she muttered.
“No you are not, my dear, but it’s simple. I turn you into a clown and you work for me. Forever.”
“What?!”
“I need entertainers for my guests, and you will be one of our finest.” she said. “Now, I have guests to attend to, so we’ll have to postpone your transformation until later, but I’ll be back for you, sweetie, darling, honey-pie, and you’ll be something amazing when I am through with you.”
Jezzy stood up and left the cell, locking it behind her. Her slim body swayed like a snake trying to bewitch it’s prey, and she looked back with a devious grin. As she walked by, a hand shot out from one of the cells, and she smacked it away.
“Don’t touch me, you ingrate.” she snarled. “You are lucky I keep you here.”
She turned and left swiftly, leaving the cell in silence except for the slight sobs of the clown whose hand had been so violently smacked.
“Did she hurt you?” Ginny asked.
“No more than I’ve already been hurt.” the clown lamented. “It’s just how life is now.” she added with a sad sigh as she slunk back to her bench in the cell.
Ginny leaned close to her bars. “What is your name?”
“Cherries. Yours?”
“It’s Ginny.” she stated. “What brings you here?” She looked around and reached into her cleavage and pulled out a tube of lipstick she had swiped from Jen-Jen and began to apply it, making her lips look more clown like, plumping up to a delightful size. Cherries looked bewildered at this, but continued with her story.
“I used to work at the Big Top club downtown, but Jezzy lured me here with the offer of more money. It was just a lie so that she could keep me locked up here in this place, says I’m important to someone.””
“Important? To whom?” Ginny asked with concern.
“A clown. A clown with no color. I met him once. Everything about him was...cold.” she said with a shiver.
“How can a clown have no color? Isn’t that what they are known for?” Ginny asked. Before the clown could respond, the large muscled female clown that Ginny had met earlier barreled towards Cherrie’s
“Enough chit chat, time for your performance.” she said with a huff.
“Hey, pea-brain!” shouted Ginny in a moment of bravery that surprised even her. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size. I imagine that’s quite hard, but I am sure we can find you someone in this hell-hole of a club.”
“My brain is perfectly adequate, you abomination.” the bouncer said as she turned to Ginny.
“Yeah? I thought with all that muscle, you had to be juicing, and that usually leads to the tiny brain syndrome.”
“I think you need a lesson in manners, girl.” the brute of a girl said as she ripped open the bars of Ginny’s cell. She grabbed Ginny by the shoulders and lifted her up with ease, bringing the girl close.
“Wanna call me pea-brained now?” she asked.
“Not really.” Ginny said unfazed. “I do kinda want to kiss you, though.” she said. She then leaned in and gave the big bouncer clown a kiss directly on the lips. The shocked clown let Ginny down, her body hitting the floor with a thud.
“What the hell was that about?” she said before her eyes started to droop. “Wait...world going fuzzy. What...what you do... to me?”
“Well, I don’t have much magic being a boring human...what was it you called me? Oh, right, abomination...but I did borrow some magic from the clown who brought me here. Her lipstick drains the IQ out of it’s subject temporarily and leaves them...well, incapacitated. Looks like you are a pea-brain now.”
The large clown tried to speak, but felt her jaw go slack and she slumped to the floor, the whole room shaking as she hit the ground. Ginny smirked and grabbed the keys from the girl’s hip and walked over to the cell holding Cherries.
“I have a plan, but it’s crazy and if it fails, we’ll probably be in worse than these bars, but if it works, you won’t have to suffer at the hands of that psycho bitch of a clown.”
“Okay. I guess I trust you. She called you abomination. She thinks you are human?” she said.
“This is just makeup. I am not a clown like you. I can’t be turned into a clown, but a clown messed with my mind, but at this point, I’d take Jen-Jen and Chuckles over this nightmare.”
“Chuckles! You know Chuckles!” she said with a bit of excitement.
“Yeah, why?”
“He brought me here, but he promised to keep me safe, but somehow, I got sucked away from him and brought to this place and...I guess I was human too once. I don’t remember any of it, though.”
Ginny realized that this was the girl Jezzy had mentioned. She was keeping her all to herself, perhaps to frame Chuckles. She gave the clown a smile.
“Well, why don't we go ask him ourselves once we get out of here?” Ginny suggested. Cherries nodded.
Using the keys, Ginny opened her cell and pulled her out. The hobo nearby smirked.
“Well, I’ll be damned, the Normie has some spirit. Go give the bitch hell for us all.” he said.
“Oh I think you’ll be doing some of that yourself.” Ginny said as she took the keys to his cell as well. “All of these clowns will be.” she said, motioning to the prisoners.
---
In a small dorm room located at Springsdale University, a young woman sat on her bed scrolling through her phone. She had been waiting for a text from her boyfriend, who had called the night before, but it was unusual, he was asking for help. She had fallen asleep before she could call him back, but...he wasn’t responding to calls or texts.
A knock came on her door, which startled her. She stood up, her loose gym shorts flapping against her legs and thighs as she moved towards the door. “Just a second.”
When she opened it, at first she didn’t see anyone, then she looked down. She saw a short, squat figure, a wide body with a sagging belly sticking out of a colorful shirt. Atop his head was curly blue hair, and he was made up to look like a clown.
“Hiya Cosette!” he said.
“Do we know each other?” she asked as she stared at him. Was this a prank.
“It’s me! Tom! I look a lot different, I know, I met a friend who made me a better person...well, a better clown! Look at my belly!” he said with a slap of it, causing it to wobble about like jelly.
“What kind of joke is this?”
“No joke, madame.” said a voice behind her. She turned and saw another clown, this one taller and slightly more menacing. “Didn’t Tom ever tell you what program he was working on under Professor Hilderbrand? He was keeping me under wraps. Speaking of which, I hope you don’t mind me using your bed to house my newest creation.” he added with a gesture. There on the bed was a person-shaped mass of what appeared to be silly string. “She’s getting ready to break out soon, and we need a place to base our shenanigans out of. Your boyfriend suggested you’d love to help, and I knew he was right.”
“What the hell is going on?” she shouted.
“I am a clown, my dear, and I enjoy making others into being such as myself. Your boyfriend was my first. I had changed an intern or two back before I escaped, but he really let me grow as an artist. Perhaps you’ll be my next masterpiece.” he said with a smirk. He noticed the phone in her hand and he grinned wide. He snapped his fingers and the phone rose, her hand with it.
“Let’s take a selfie, shall we?” he said. She was trying to lower her arm, but found it was impossible.
“Hey! This isn’t funny!” she shouted.
“Nope! It’s Hilarious!” Tom giggled as he shut the door behind them.
The phone raised up in front of her, and the flash went off, and she felt a million little pin-pricks spread over her skin, goose pimples forming as she lifted off the ground. Her body felt pulled towards the phone and she tried to resist that urge, but as soon as her nose touched it’s screen, her entire being was converting into little beams of light, sucking into the glass. She screamed as her body vanished into the device she had spent so much of her life gazing it. “No! Stop! Tom! Help me!”
“That sounds familiar.” he chortled, remembering when he asked for her help the night before, but it didn’t matter. He was better this way, and soon, she would be the same.
When her body completed vanishing, Bobo the clown caught the phone, and tossed it to Tom. As he used his thick fingers to prod at the phone, the phone changed, becoming wider and looking more plastic and toy like. On the home screen he saw an app with the face of Cosette, his girlfriend, and he clicked on it with a giggle.
The app opened and there stood a naked representation of his girlfriend, her digital essence stored in the phone. She banged on the glass, but he ignored it as he selected a big button that said EDIT.
Suddenly he had a supply of tools at his disposal and he set to work. The first thing he did was pinch her body, reducing her height to the same as his. This worked like a charm as she adjusted down to a new height, but her weight didn’t adjust properly, so she looked just as wide and wobbly as he was, perhaps even a bit more.
“Hey!” she shouted, her voice a digital squeak that was easy to ignore as he pulled out a paintbrush in the app and slathered her in a pink color that spread all over her skin. “Stop this, you asshole!”
“Language!” Tom giggled as he selected the mute option for the moment.
She screamed but nothing came out, and stomped her foot on the ground, which gave Tom an idea. He grabbed her feet with his fingers and stretched them out, making them wider and longer, befitting of a clown.
“Oh, this is just delightful.” said Bobo as he watched.
Soon her hands were also expanded, and her head had a bald spot on the top, with a ring of rainbow colored hair on the base. He added a bit red clown nose as well as a smile that was literally from ear to ear. Some more use of the paintbrush yielded rosy cheeks, and arched eyebrows made of black lines with white underneath and around her mouth.
“A perfect Auguste!” Bobo said. “Well Done, Tom!”
He pressed the girl’s head a few times on the app, which caused it to inflate larger and larger, and then suddenly all the air let out, with cartoonish gusts of wind bursting out of her ears, and her head shrank back to normal, but her eyes looked dazed and she seemed so lost.
With a flick of his wrist, Tom turned the phone around and aimed it at the ground and with another flash, a new clown appeared. She looked so confused.
“Tommie?” she said with a squeaky voice. “What’s going on?”
“Well, Cosette, we are now clowns and together we are gonna help Bobo here spread the silliness.”
“Oh, that’s right. I am so silly and forgetful.” she said.
Bobo grinned. Everything was going as planned.
“Nightshade will be pleased.”
---
Nightshade was pleased, knowing his plan was well underway. Donning a fake costume that didn’t suit him at all, he sat at a private table in Jezzy’s club, waiting on the hostess herself. He smirked as he a waitress brought him his drink. He pinched her behind with a grin and she gasped and quickly made her way back to the bar as Jezzy approached.
“Cute staff you got.” He said with a sip of his drink.
“Yes, but I’d appreciate a more hands off approach with them. I don’t want them thinking I allow rude behavior without repercussions.”
“Of course not. Sorry to arrive unannounced. I was just curious about our arrangement. Is the girl doing well?”
“As well as can be expected.” Jezzy said as she watched a trio of clowns juggling chainsaw on stage. She sighed, bored with this proceeding already. Her deal with this clown was starting to wear on her.
“I assume she provides excellent entertainment for your crowds.”
“Oh yes, indeed, but she’s a bit morose given her current situation.” Jezzy noted. “When can I expect your plan to come into action and I can be rid of the stress of her capture.”
“Soon. Very soon. The investigation into our friend Chuckles is just warming up, is it not?” he asked.
“Yes, the council is trying to determine if it was just negligence or actual malice that lead to her her “disappearance.”
“And no one has come snooping here, knowing her previous life?” Nightshade asked pointedly.
“No. How could they. The only person to ever see her as a human was Chuckles and Knockers.”
“Knockers? Oh yes, the one who transformed her. I assume her loyalty has been bought.”
“Of course. I am not a fool, Nightshade.” Jezzy stated, sounding offended.
“I never took you for one.” He replied with a friendly smile.
“Ladies and Gentleclowns” said a voice over the loudspeakers in the club. The voice was unfamiliar to Jezzy, so she turned her head quickly. Nightshade noticed and did the same.
“We are proud to present to you, a special act! One Night Only!” the voice said as a figure walked out onto the stage. Jezzy’s eyes widened.
It was Ginny, dressed in a formfitting red evening gown, her makeup retouched and her smile as wide as it could be for a human. She waved at Jezzy who was already fuming, pressing a small red button on her outfit. She had no idea that the clown on the other end was snoring in a cell down in her dungeon.
“Deep below the fine establishment you are in tonight, Jezzy Belle has a dungeon. Some, I assume, pay for the pleasure of being there, while others, like myself, were kept there for some sick game”
“What is the meaning of this, Ms. Belle?” Nightshade snarled.
“I do not know, but I will find out.” she said as she marched away from the table and towards the stage. As she did, she looked up to see a smiling hobo turn on a spotlight to follow her.
“Let’s give a warm welcome to our hostess with the most-ess!” Ginny giggled. “For years she has trapped unsuspecting humans and clowns alike in her dark dungeon and tonight for the first time ever, we are bringing them all to you in a little act I like to call...Prison Break.”
The doors on either side of the stage burst open and several clowns filtered out, running towards the crowd with all sorts of gags ready for the evening. Seltzer bottles, flowers on their lapels, some little short cop looking clowns with billy clubs made of balloons. They all ran towards the crowd, causing a panic. To add to the confusion, one small clown had climbed the rafters and put a lighter to the sprinklers, causing water to pour over it’s guests.
“And as for you.” she said to Jezzy. “I have something special for you.”
A green clown covered in what appeared to be slime slipped towards the angry clown woman and grabbed her.
“I suppose you are wondering why I am doing this, ladies and gentlemen? She took me in after I found out I could no longer be transformed into a clown, she promised me things, but she lied, like she’s been lying to all the citizens of this place. She has one goal in mind, to knock out her chief competition, Chuckles T. Clown.”
“You will suffer for this, you ungrateful little worm!” Jezzy shouted. “I’ll mutate you into something so unrecognizable you’ll wish you had never been born.”
Ginny walked off the stage as the crowd dispersed, and walked over to her former captor.
“That is...if the clown without color doesn’t fix you first.” Ginny said leaning in. “Is that him, in the awful coat?”
“You should shut your mouth if you know what’s good. Let me go, slimeball.” she said to the green clown.
Ginny walked back to the stage. “I don’t know what’s good. My mind is a jumble of things now, and everything is all so confusing, but I can tell you what’s not good. You. You are a miserable little ass and you deserve what’s coming to you...but know that because of your greed in capturing me, you lost something much more valuable. Come, Cherries. Let’s go.”
Nightshade stood up, while Jezzy watched in horror as the girl she had been holding for this dark clown came out onto the stage. “Thanks for the memories, Jezzy. See you never.” Ginny crowed as she tossed something onto the stage and a plume of purple smoke erupted. When the smoke had cleared, the two clowns were gone, leaving a wave of carnage in their wake as the escaped clowns still wreaked havoc on the crowds of the nightclub.
Nightshade walked towards Jezzy as the green slimy clown slide away.
“Care to explain this little performance?” he said.
“I don’t know what happened!” she said.
“You said no one suspected anything about Cherries. It seems like she might, whoever she is.” he grunted as he grabbed the female clown by her throat and lifted her up like she was made of air.
“I trusted you, Jezzy-Belle, and now I see that I made a mistake. I need you to fix this. Find them before they ruin everything. If you value your existence in this world, or the ones you love….think of your son.”
“You leave him out of this.” she said as she struggled.
“Ah, a nerve. Good. You do have feelings. Fix this mess you’ve made and perhaps I’ll forgive you, but there will be no more second chances. Fix this or watch your supposed empire crumble.” he said.
He let her go and she dropped to the floor, gasping for air. When she looked up, he was gone.
She cursed as she sat in the soaked ruins of her club. She would find them. She would make the human pay.
TO BE CONCLUDED….