The Reporter and the Clowns
A Clowntopia Tale by Hugo Prosperio
Part One: The Interview
For psychoboy07
(Follows the stories Don’t Make Me Laugh and No Laughing Matter)

Springsdale University Research Laboratory
Springsdale, Massachusetts
June 2015

“Forgive me, my dear. Would you mind telling me how you got the clearance for this?” asked a tall thin man wearing a lab coat and square framed glasses that made his eyes seem two times bigger than they were.

“I am very persuasive.” said Genevieve Pierce. She was a strong assertive woman, dressed for a formal interview. Her black hair was tied back in a loose but stylish ponytail, and she wore heels that clacked on the linoleum floor of the research center she was being led through.

“Well, I don’t know if Professor Hilderbrand was able to discuss the rules with you, but the big one is that you will not be entering the containment unit. As far as we can tell, he is contagious. One of our interns went in after he first arrived, and well, she suffered a similar fate.” he said sadly.

“What happened to her.” she asked.

“I am not at liberty to discuss that, Genevieve...Is it alright if I call you Ginny?” the man asked.

“No. Ms. Pierce will suffice, and I understand. I will not be entering the unit with Chief Crump.”

“He doesn’t go by that name, just so you are aware.”

“What name does he prefer?” Genevieve asked.

“Bobo, I believe. No idea why. Just part of...whatever is happening to him.” the man said as he slid his ID through a slot in the wall and entered a many-digit password.

“Here we are. He’ll happily speak to you, but I don’t know how useful any of the information will be.” he said with a smirk.

“As I said before, I am very persuasive.” she responded before letting the door close between her and him, turning to the large glass wall separating her from her current interview. She was an up and coming investigative reporter, and she had followed the many strange happenings in Springsdale for some time now. Chief Crump, or Bobo or whatever he called himself was the only strong lead she had to figuring out what was going on.


Behind the glass stood, for lack of a better term, a clown. He was mostly bald, save for three triangular tufts of bright red hair sticking out at the top and sides of his head. On his face sat a six inch tube growing from where his nose should be, shiny, and like his hair, red as could be. His smile stretched wide, to a disturbing degree. His skin was pale white and over his eyes were oval shaped splotches of blue, with a black line at the top acting as eyebrows, arched in surprise. He was wearing hospital scrubs, which kind of spoiled the look, but he stood up from his chair and walked forward, showing off enlarged feet and hands as he looked curiously at the woman who stood across from him.

“A visitor. How loverly!” he said, his voice was all squeaky.

“Yes. I am a reporter covering the strange happenings in Springsdale, and that means you, sir. You prefer to go by Bobo is that correct?” Genevieve asked. She turned on her tape recorder for posterity.

“Certainly. It’s my name.” the clown responded cheerfully.

“You have no memory of being named Ronald Crump? Being something other than a silly clown?” she asked.

“Not that I’m aware of. Gosh, having such a boring name would be so terrible.” he mused. “What is your name, dear?”

“Genevieve Pierce.” she said simply.

“Ah, Ginny.” he giggled.

“No. I am very particular about my name, Bobo, but no matter. You don’t have any memories of what occurred three months ago at your department when you were questioned by a private investigator?”

“No. I do have some memories of that. You see, she set me free, that young lady. I was locked in a terrible, stupid human form, penance for some sin I don’t remember committing.” he said. It sounded like a deep thought for someone dressed like a rejected McDonald’s mascot.

“She...helped you find your true form, is that what you are saying” she queried.

“She did. She had been exposed to clown magic. It’s very strong stuff, you see. I had forgotten how strong at the time, but now I remember, now I know. She was searching for clowns, and the truth was inside her the whole time. Her coming to find me in my boring form, well, it was fate.”

Genevieve thought about this response for a moment. It seemed as if he knew something about Claire Renfield, which was a start.

“And before Ms. Renfield crossed paths with you, you also dealt with a pair of missing officers in your department, if I am not mistaken. Forgive me if this memory is not as fresh in your mind.”


“It is a bit fuzzy, my reporter friend, but I’ll try to give it a go.” he mused with a thoughtful look.

“I don’t remember their names, but each girl had similar symptoms, and just like me they were being freed from their dull prisons of humanity and brought back to their true clown forms.”

“So, do you believe all us boring humans have a clown inside, waiting to break free, or is it just a coincidence that all four people from this small town have either disappeared or, as you said, became the clowns they were meant to be.”

He held his index finger to his lips in thought. His fingers were plump and there were less digits than expected.

“I suppose it’s true that you all have the potential to be silly and wonderful. I can usually sense it, you know. The intern they sent in to feed me, for instance. She seemed like the perfect Auguste clown, and I helped her realize her potential. However, you, Ginny dear.” he pointedly said, as if he were tossing verbal daggers in her direction. “You give me no sense whatsoever. I have no idea if you have a clown waiting to be freed, or if you are just boring” he chuckled.

She bristled at this. He was trying to get at her, to make her upset. It wasn’t a tactic unique to clowned police chiefs, she had seen it all her career. Men who felt more powerful than her wanting to exert that power by making her feel powerless. It never bothered her, and certainly not from this bozo.

“I’m fine with that, Ronald.” she said with wicked eagerness, a strike back at the use of Ginny. He seemed about as bothered by it as she was. “My life is quite interesting, despite your observations.”

“Whatever you say. Do you have any other questions?” he asked her.

“Do you know the whereabouts of the missing persons, either the officers from your department or the investigator?”

“Yes and no. I know where they are, but not precisely. They are in a realm devoted to our kind, a place most of you normies couldn’t even fathom, but wherein they are? Hard to say. It’s a large place, could be any number of places.” he said thoughtfully.

“Does this realm have a name?” she asked curiously. He believed everything he was saying, that was for sure.

“Clowntopia is what some call it. It has a much older name, but I don’t know what it is. I doubt many clowns do, to be honest.”

“Fascinating. Well, that doesn’t really get me a lot farther than I already was, but it was certainly interesting to chat with you...Bobo.” she said with a respectful nod.

“And you, Genevieve.” he replied with a smile.

“One last question” she added as she turned off her tape recorder. “Off the record. What became of the intern. They wouldn’t tell me, but I am curious.”

“Oh, well, I granted her the gift of silliness. Like I mentioned, I sensed she would be an astoundingly wonderful Auguste clown. They believe that she entered my little box against their instructions, but the truth of the matter is she stood exactly where you are standing. Once we spoke, she began to see that I was right and that she should be Auguste and she let me work my magic without even stepping foot outside of this plastic cage. The security footage was wiped by the nature of the powers I was using, so they assume she broke their protocols, but the only thing she broke was the tray my food came on when she dropped it after her body began to change. She was such a beautiful clown when I was finished. I’d very much like to see her again. Let the people of this facility know that I am not locked in here despite their best efforts, and when I can build up enough magic, I will make my escape.”

“I’ll be sure to pass it along. Thank you for your time.”

“I wish I could change you my dear. I feel you too would make a great clown, but I cannot sense that clown to save my life. Oh well, I guess silliness isn’t for everyone.” he said with a sad smirk as he sat back down and whistled Merry Go Round Broke Down to himself.

“Quite the looney toon.” she remarked, which made him chuckle. She then made her exit from the room. The interview had been informative, but not as revealing as she had hoped. Still it was better than nothing.

As she walked out into the hallway, she was greeted by a different person in a lab coat. It was a woman, tall and busty, her uniform barely containing her curvaceous form. “How did it go, Ms. Pierce? Did you discover any new information that will help your report?”

“Um. Sort of. Who are you?”

“Professor Jennifer...Jennings.” she said, pausing between names, which Genevieve found odd. “I was sent to just do a follow up before you leave. We are still trying to research a cure for Mr. Crump and would love to see if his discussion with you revealed anything that might lead to something of use.” she said as she led Genevieve to a room and closed the door. “Anything could help. Please.”

“Well, he talked a lot about silliness and people’s inner clowns. Said I didn’t have one or some such nonsense. He mentioned a place called…”

“Clowntopia?” she asked.

“Yes. Has he mentioned it before.”

“No, but I have heard of it, Ms. Pierce. It’s quite the place. Sounds nice doesn’t it?” she spoke, her voice getting more sharp.

“I don’t put much stock in the delusions of a sick man.” she said.

“But he isn’t sick. He was set free” she said. “It was a complicated series of events, but we really don’t need someone snooping around into the work we do.”

“We?” Genevieve asked, looking around, noting that the woman was standing in front of the door, blocking it deliberately.

“As I said, Clowntopia is quite the place. Perhaps you’d like to see it!” she said as she threw a small vial of liquid in Genevieve’s face. It was cool and warm at the same time, tingling as it went dripping down her face and onto her chest, soaking through her shirt.

“What the hell was that, you crazy bitch?!” she shrieked as she tried to wipe it off, but the warm feeling began to give way to numb prickles in her skin, like sharp tingles.

The world felt like it was rapidly expanding around her as the tingles intensified, and she watched the supposed professor grow larger before her very eyes. She looked at herself and saw her professional interview outfit of tight jeans and a classy blouse that fit her so well begin to hang on her body like she was

“Shrinking!” she muttered to herself. It was impossible, and yet it was happening, quickly and swiftly.

“Yes, very astute. I can see why you are an investigative reporter. You get down to the nitty gritty. Sorry to have to trick you like this, but this town has already been causing us quite a bit of trouble, so we are taking extra precautions, and a piece on this situation published in a magazine like yours wouldn’t do us any favors. I apologize.”

Her shrinking was rapid, and she felt her limbs and entire body collapsing in on itself. She had to be less than half of her original height, and she had been quite tall. She had fallen out of her heels and landed on the floor in a puddle of her clothing, and she felt the clothing growing around her, swallowing her whole. She saw the light above her being blocked out by the looming figure of the woman who had shrunk her and a giant hand came down to pick her up. It did so with ease as she continued to dwindle. She sat in the palm of this giant woman, still shrinking, but thankfully it was slowing. She looked up and gulped when she saw the giant grin.

“The shrinking won’t last for long, but it’s just to make you easier to transport. Enjoy the ride, darling.” she giggled as she raised her up, above her blouse, which she had unbuttoned, revealing massive white breasts, creamy and large, with seemingly cavernous cleavage. She then felt the fingers let her go and she dropped into the abyss of tits, and all she could do was yelp until she was swallowed by warm flesh. The world went dark.


TO BE CONTINUED