Misc Unfinished Snippets Vol 2

None of these are finished & none of them will be finished. Hopefully people will still enjoy them anyway.

Untitled Bar Story

“I kinda wanna try it,” said Molly, giving me a sideways look. “What do you think, Jim?”

Her eyes went from mine to the the thing she wanted to try.

That was a a large guillotine in the corner of the bar. We had just watched a girl arrive to greet a group of maybe 5 or 6 people, all around our age, all with their heads sliced off and sitting in a circle on the table of their booth.

It was a date that had come together kind of strangely. It started with the two of us in a running group at a local brewery. We were both new to the city, and got to know one another that way. She’d played softball in college, and since then had just gotten into power lifting and running.

But the sparks didn’t start to fly until later on. Weirdly it stared with a fender bender. I was turning left at an intersection on my way to work, and had to stop short for a scooter coming off the sidewalk. Her Honda bumped me from behind and the scooter guy got away.

It was waiting for the cops and the insurance stuff that she suggested she buy me dinner. Then a couple dates later…

Well, this.

There was a loud ruckus as the group of already headless people went over the guillotine cheering. The girl who’d just arrived, a blond with an impressive amount of curls, was high fiving her friends.

“Let’s cut this motherfucker off,” she said, pointing at her temples and yelling loudly enough for the whole bar to hear.

The guillotine was raised up. The blade locked in. Everyone counted down from 5 and it thunked down with a solid sounding noise.

The girl’s head rolled down the plastic spiral slide, into a bucket at the bottom a nicely comic touch for such a macabre means of doing magic.

The group cheered and raised up detached heads as her body, fumbling it’s way forward, picked up her head by the hair and pumped a fist.

“They certainly seem to be having fun,” I said, returning to look back at Molly. She was still watching them with a serious look.

“Yeah,” said Molly, with another look back at me. She bit her lip as if deciding what she might say next.

“It’s weirdly kinda hot,” she said. Her mouth barely made the words, as if they were as much a surprise to her as anyone.

“Have you never tried it?” I said.

“No,” she said with a sudden interest, “But it sounds like you have.”

“This old girlfriend had one of those boxes that like, you lock your head in and can remove it. It’s not like this though — like when you do it, you’re stuck as only a body with no head.”

“Wait,” said Molly, her eyes lighting up. “That’s even better. That’s exactly what I want. I don’t know why, but I do. But we’re here, so…”

“Okay, well, if you want to cut my head off I guess I’m down for it…”

“Your head?” said Molly indignantly. “I was talking about my head…”

“Oh,” I said, with a grin. “I guess that’s fine too.”

“I mean,” said Molly, “I haven’t told many people this, but sometimes when I’m fucking, I’ll close my eyes and just pretend. I guess I’m weird like that.”

“Everyone’s weird,” I said.

“Okay yeah,” she said, sitting up straight. “Can we do it?”

“Yeah,” I said, casually. “Of course. It’s your head.”

“But also first,” said Molly, leaning forward across the booth, “I wanna hear stories.”

“Stories about?”

“About you without a head?”

“Well,” I said, reflecting back, “For her I guess it was a competitive thing — like we’d play video games or sometimes just rock paper scissors and the loser had to put their head in the box for the night.”

“And then?”

“I don’t mean to overshare,” I said, “but I guess I can say she was into like … the shit talking afterwards. Like she had these collars — these days there’s an app for the phone — but they let you sort of hear and see with a mic and a camera. And she’d just taunt me for missing my head. It was … I mean, it was fun.”

Game Night

Beth held the 10 sided die and looked down at the game board. With an eight or higher she could win the game. With a five she could at least secure the victory for the next round. With a four… well… That’d be different.

The game was called The Enchanted Castle. On its surface it was nothing more complicated than a ripoff of Chutes and Ladders. Not a game that adults would find much entertainment in, much less the kind of people she was playing with.

But there were two twists to the game that made it more fun. One was the ‘Treasure’ deck. Land on a treasure chest, you got to pick up a card to use later.

The other, the main feature, was the ‘Enchantment’ deck. Anyone landed on a ‘trap’ (a chute) or a ‘quest’ (a ladder) got to pick one. A trap happened to you, and a quest — that happened to one of the people sitting next to you.

And those ‘Enchantments’ meant one thing that was much more exciting than an fantasy themed version of Candyland.

They meant body magic.

The consequences of those enchantments were visible in all the others at the table. Beth was the only one so far unscathed.

She took a sweep of the others at the table.

Sitting next to her was Jim — a cute guy she’d just met that evening. The most exciting thing about Jim was that he’d lost both his arms in the previous round, and Beth had spent the whole time she was waiting for her turn imagining the things she could do with him later. Assuming of course, she won the game and remained intact herself…

Then there was Sasha. So far the only enchantment visited on her had cost her a nose. While this was relatively tame by the standards of the game, the blank space on her face and the new honking tone to her voice were at least quite entertaining.

After her was Amir. He’d had an unlucky game. His second role had cost him an arm and a leg, only to have a treasure played by Sasha ‘double’ the penalty. Another quest had been visited on him that relieved him of his head. Now only a torso, he was effectively the prize of whomever might choose him…

Then was Kaela, Amir’s girlfriend. Beth had only met her that night, but she was clearly in her element with body magic. So far her head had been turned around backwards and her legs taken away, but given the stories she’d shared, this seemed to be a pretty tame night comparatively…

After her was Amy. It was her house they were at, and she was an item together with Sasha. If there was anyone else that might win the game, she was the leading challenger. However the thing about Amy was that—

“Will you roll already?”

That would have been Mike, the guy she’d slept with a couple times by now, although it was definitely a nothing-serious kind of hookup.

He was sitting between Amy and herself. His fate and Amy’s had been rather mixed up that evening. To begin with in a tit-for-tat both had stolen the other’s head, and now both were wearing the other’s head on their shoulders. A lucky ‘reflection’ treasure had transferred Amy’s tits over to Mike. Another swap that Amy had drawn led to them switching arms. Effectively, both were almost half the other at this point…

“Hey I might win on this roll,” said Beth. “It’s good luck to wait.”

“Or you might kill us all from boredom,” said Mike.

Beth narrowed her eyes at him.

“He makes a good snarky girl, doesn’t he?” she said to the table.

“I agwee,” said the noseless Sasha. “Mike yowre making me fweel berry confoozed.”

Mike bounced his eyebrows suggestively in reply.

“Well,” said Amy, stroking her beard, which she’d been doing constantly since getting her new head. “We should take a moment to appreciate that Beth might win the game without a single bit of magic on her, I don’t remember if we’ve ever done that.”

“I’m almost disappointed,” said Beth, looking sideways at Jim, then eyeing Amir across the table. “But even if nothing fun happens to me, I still get to play with one of you.”

She tossed the dice.

It was a four. A trap. The only remaining trap, and the longest penalty in the game.

The table reacted with approving jeers and taunts, excepting, for obvious reasons, Amir.

“Oh my god,” said Beth, planting her face in her hands.

“Pick up the card bitch!” taunted Mike.

“You know Mike, if you weren’t half a girl, that’d be kind of a misogynistic thing to say,” scolded Amy.

“Good thing I have your tits then,” said Mike, grabbing his own chest in response.

“Anyway,” said Beth, picking up the top card of the ‘Enchantments.’

As with the other cards, she began to read out loud. The blue orb in the center of the game set began to glow with the magic.

All around the castle,

The danger never ceases,

For this next enchantment,

You’ll end up in pieces.

“Oh no,” said Beth.

She felt her legs both detach at the knees, her lower legs tipping over with nothing to support them.

Just as she set the card back down, the same thing happened to both her elbows.

“Um,” said Beth, looking around. “Is that it—“

She felt it happen again to her hips and her shoulders. She was starting to tip over…

And then it got very confusing, as she felt her neck separate. Her vision tumbled, at the same time as she felt another two gaps open on her midsection and waist.

She braced for her head to hit the ground, only to realize that Mike had caught her before she fell.

“Um,” she said. “Thanks.”

“Wow,” said Jim. “That was awesome.”

“That was the most dramatic turn of fortune,” said Amy.

Beth sighed.

“Well,” she said. “Can someone at least pick me up from the floor? Like can I get a box or something?”

“You know what,” said Amy. “I have just the thing.”

Amy stood up and left the table.

“I guess it’s still anyone’s game here,” said Kaela. “But just for the record, if you had won — who would you have picked?”

That was the other game going on. The ‘real’ game they were all playing for.

Whoever won the game got their choice of partner for the evening. From any of the other players. No limitations. And on and on to second place and the rest.

You had to be somewhat practical with your decisions. If you were helpless yourself, an able-bodied partner might be needed. If you finished somewhat intact yourself, picking one of the less lucky at the table would be more suitable.

But as long as you played the game with people you liked, it would be a great way to enjoy some uncomplicated fun.

“I hadn’t decided,” said Beth, wistfully. “But it would have probably been one of the two helpless boys here.”

“Oh cmah, yoo dethided,” said Sasha.

“Probably Amir,” said Beth. “I do love those headless guys.”

“Like lath thime when you got Mike dahwn to jwust legs?” said Sasha.

“That was the time before last,” said Beth. “Last game was when I ended up with no hands or feet.”

“Oh thaht’s wight,” said Sasha. “Ay wemember we cawwied you to the cah.”

“Yeah, he made me ride home in the trunk,” said Beth, bitterly. “Fucking asshole.”

“Hey,” said Mike. “You were property, okay?”

“It was really, really hot but it still makes you an asshole,” said Beth.

“You hear that Amir?” said Kaela, tracing a finger around Amir’s empty shoulders. “You’ll most likely be someone’s property tonight.”

Amir, for obvious reasons, was unable to reply.

“He can hear us right? I just want to be sure.”

“All the spells in the deck keep your senses and awareness,” said Beth. “So yes.”

“Yoo kno whaht's weiud is ah can still smell,” said Sasha. “Even wifout mah noze.”

“It’s almost as weird as how you look and sound,” said Mike.

“Shots fucking fired,” commented Kaela.

“Found it!” announced Amy, returning to the table.

“Found what?” said Beth.

“I got you a duffel bag,” said Amy, setting down a red bag, which she unzipped.

With Mike’s help, she started placing the pieces of Beth in the bag.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in this many pieces before,” said Beth. “Like I think the most has been five or six.”

“Pfft. Amateur,” snarked Mike.

Mike picked up Beth’s ass and cradled it. He licked his lips, and set it up on the table next to her head.

“This piece can stay out,” said Mike. “For um…”

“For fondling and ogling reasons,” said Beth. “You could leave my tits out too.”

“I have my own tits now thanks,” said Mike, stuffing Beth’s chest in the bag with her other bits.

“You’re the worst,” muttered Amy.

Finally the bag with all of Beth’s pieces was zipped closed.

“Okay,” said Amy. “Now who’s turn was it anyway?”

A couple roles later, the game reached its next exciting moment. Sasha had landed on a quest, which mean she could assign an enchantment to either Jim or Amir on either side of her.

“Sowwy Jim, but Amir hath been thwew enuf,” said Sasha, propping up a card for him to read.

“Welp, yeah,” said Jim with a defeated sigh. He started to read—

The castle is strong,

And such a tall fort,

You I’m afraid,

Will be coming up short.

“A shawrty!” cooed Sasha, excitedly.

On queue, Jim’s torso began to shrink away until a moment later he was a classic ‘shorty’ shape — just a head on a pair of legs. It was one of the more popular transformations as of lately, thanks in no small part to the trend of celebrities adopting the shape.

“Oh my god,” said Kaela. “I think Jim just became the first round favorite.”

“Yeah,” said Beth. “That would have tipped the balance for me too.”

“It’s not really that different,” said Jim, with a smirk. “I mean, I was already missing my arms so…”

“It’s 1000% better Jim,” said Kaela. “I guess you don’t know how much I love shorties, but I once made Amir stay that way for a whole month.”

“I guess even when you lose here, you win.”

“Except when you lose Jim,” shot back Amy. “Then you’re just half a loser.”

“Well,” said Jim, looking at his game piece in second to last place. “Yeah.”

“Next turn,” said Sasha, passing the dice.

Merlin’s Magic Bar

Scene 1

There was a weird energy as I waited for her at the bar. 4pm on a Friday, my first week in town at a new gig, I was barely unpacked, but already …

Well this, thing with Jenna. Whatever it would be.

We used to work together at a cafe, then later were part of the same volunteer stuff. Both in our early 20s before we started to figure our lives out a bit. Back then there’d been this obvious chemistry — my name is Dave and she always teased me for being “Unremarkable Dave” — you know what maybe that’s more of an inside joke.

But despite the vibe we shared the timing or the math hadn’t aligned — one of us always seemed to be dating someone else when the other was single, or was about to spend a summer traveling, and then we both moved away for different jobs.

So it’d been a near miss. That’s what it had seemed like to me anyway. Then I moved out to the west coast, and turns out she was in the same city.

I picked up my phone to check the time. 4:05pm. Not quite time to give up, but I opened the text chat anyway, scanned back through.

“Oh that’s perfect — you’re right near Merlins! That’d be such a great spot for us, I’ve been wanting to take someone there. They have the craziest potions…”

Then a string of emojis which I was still trying to decipher the exact intention of: “🍻🤯🦵😜”

In whatever context this was meant, it seemed like this would be an interesting night. At the very least I could reconnect with someone I shared a sense of humor with, and at best well…

A text popped up: “Just got one of those stupid scooter things, OMW”

That was followed by: “Don’t drink any potions w/out me 🤪”

I squinted at the beer I’d gotten and already finished half of. That didn’t seem to be quite what she meant. Hopefully.

Scene 2

“Oh my god, sorry, I kept trying to sneak out early by my boss just wouldn’t leave,” said Jenna, leaning over for a hug. She hung up her bag on the hook under the bar, and put a hand on my shoulder. “Sorry you had to wait.”

“No big deal,” I said, “I charge by the minute so…”

I checked an imaginary watch.

“This place is the coolest,” said Jenna. “But we should really get a booth.”

“Sure,” I said.

The bartender came over, a lanky girl with a sleeve tattoo, and an intimidating bored expression that suggested she was too-cool-for-anyone.

“Hey,” said Jenna. “Can I get a pinot grigo and …”

She looked sideways at me.

“Two skull poppers.”

“How long,” said the bartender with a crooked look.

“Just 30 minutes,” said Jenna. “For now.”

We got out drinks and moved over to the booth. Then Jenna returned to the bar to fetch two smaller drinks, in tumbler glasses. They had … well, maybe dry ice or something, because they were both spilling out thick white clouds as she carried them.

“What the heck are those,” I said.

“These,” said Jenna. “Are the reason I wanted to come here.”

“I was curious what you meant when you said ‘potion’,” I said.

“You ever get into these,” said Jenna.

“I admit I remain inexperienced and unremarkable.”

“Pfft,” said Jenna. “You know, I think I only called you that because I had a crush on you.”

“Oh,” I said, almost caught off guard. “Thanks. I think it was uh, mutual.”

“Neat,” said Jenna. She raised a suggestive eyebrow, then pushed over one of the foaming potions. “Let’s get some magic started.”

We clinked glasses. Despite my lizard-brain telling me the drink in my hand was definitely not for consumption, I followed her lead and downed it in a big gulp. It tasted like licking an apple-flavored battery.

Two things happened. The first was a feeling of ‘uh-oh’ like when some drugs hit a bit harder than you were expecting. I could feel a rush in my temples, and a strange feeling behind my eyes and ears. Everything around us seemed to slow down for a moment. And everything seemed to be absolutely quiet. Then there was a definite feeling of all that tension releasing, even more suddenly than it started. For a moment, all I could see was a lot of vapors the same color as what was coming off the potion thing.

The other thing that happened was that I watched Jenna’s head explode.

It wasn’t violent. Just … a small pop. And a cloud of smoke. Like a cartoon.

Left behind was just … no head. Just her empty hoody.

“Uh, Jenna,” I said. I was considering if my next bit should be something witty or something showing concern.

“Isn’t this awesome?” she said. Her hands gestured around in the empty space where her head wasn’t.

“Does this make us trip or…” I set my empty glass down carefully. There was something strange about her voice. For starters she shouldn’t have one.

“No doofus, it’s magic,” said Jenna. “It gets rid of our stupid heads.”

It occurred to me for the first time that we had both actually drank the same potion. A potion she’d called a “skull popper.”

Well wasn’t that something.

“Huh,” I said, moving my own hands though the bizarrely empty space above my shoulders and feeling … nothing. I patted all the way down to my shoulders. There wasn’t even a trace of a neck stump.

“Doesn't it feel amazing? said Jenna. “Like just having nothing there?”

I took a moment to think about that. It did feel … well, both very different but also kind of … good.

“It’s like you’d never think about the weight that was there, until it isn’t,” I said.

“I know!” said Jenna. “Plus, I think it's super hot when people don't have any heads. But that’s because I’m a weirdo.”

There was a signal in there that I was going to seize on, but I still had some other questions.

“I don’t understand how we’re able to talk,” I said.

“Weird isn’t it? The magic like technically shifts our heads into another dimension, so we can hear each other. But actually nobody else can, unless they do the same thing as us.”

“Really,” I said, now finally taking in more of the bar around us. It did feel unusually quite as if…

“We can’t hear anything else, either, can we? “ I said.

“No,” said Jenna. “We’re kind doing our own thing. Which is part of why this is so cool, because you can be like … extra discrete.”

“That sounds… fun,” I said. I reflexively picked up my beer before realizing that I had no way to drink it.

“I know,” said Jenna. “And you know what?”

“What?”

“I’ve always wanted to get rid of your stupid head,” she said.

“Uh, okay…”

“In a nice way!” said Jenna. “Because I think guys without a head are super hot”

“Are you … a praying mantis?”

She laughed. Her voice echoed around weirdly like it was almost inside my own head.

“I like doing magic with guys,” said Jenna. “And also letting them do magic on me.”

I took a moment, realizing that both all the signals were right, and that there was no way she’d catch me ‘looking’ anyway, and drank in the sight of her body.

“You know,” I said. “I think I’m also picking up what you like about this.”
“Isn’t it great? I know this isn't quite the case, but I like to imagine we could just be these two bodies that are just taken over with instincts—”

She gestured with greedily grabbing hands.

We paused. Both of us were hunched over the booth. If we’d had heads they probably would have been only a foot apart.

“I’ll come over to your side,” said Jenna, answering the question on both of our minds. She joined my side of the booth, and at last our hands were free to start releasing some of the sexual tension.

“I would kiss you now probably,” I said.

“Well,” said Jenna, her voice coming in a loud whisper now. “You can’t. Cause you don’t have a fucking head. You’re just a dumb. Headless. Idiot.”

She punctuated her sentence with a single finger jabbing into my empty shoulders.

“Said the other dumb headless idiot,” I said, pulling her empty hood over her missing head and cinching down the drawstring all the way.

“We need a picture,” she said, breaking the moment. “Before this wears off.”

She picked up her phone. We took a selfie that had a hard time autofocusing.

“Well,” I said. “I’m glad we at least got this all out in the open.”
“Me too,” said Jenna. “If there’s anything I learned since we knew each other, it’s not to wait for what you want.”

“I think I learned that same lesson,” I said, slipping a hand over to her ass.

“And sorry if I’m coming on strong it’s just been a while since, you know—”

“Well,” I said. “You are just a headless slut controlled only by your instincts…”

“That’s exactly what I want to hear,” said Jenna, sounding like she was talking through clenched teeth. “God it is kind of frustrating not to be able to make out.”

“Of course then we’d be ‘that couple’ making out in the bar”

“Yeah, fair point, plus I like coming here. Listen we should -- I definitely want to fuck, but I also wanted to try a couple more potions here. I've only had like a couple and they make like ... thirty or something. We should also you know, get some food and more drinks once we have faces again.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m in.”

Scene 3

The conversation had shifted back and forth from more dirty talk and flirting to actually catching up. I told her about the job hunt that had landed me out there, and how I’d started climbing. She told me about her PhD stuff and how she’d found out about magic stuff.

Then just as suddenly at it had first happened, everything went back to normal…

She dove in and kissed me.

“Welcome back to having a face again,” said Jenna. “Although I wish you didn’t.”

“It’s mutual,” I said. “You’re a lot nicer without that stupid head.”

One thing I’d picked up on over the course of the previous 30 minutes was that Jenna didn’t just love missing heads. She loved talking about missing heads, and especially hearing about it. I could see a slight shudder in her shoulders whenever the subject came up.

Now I saw the same wide eyed, grinning, and turned-on facial expression that confirmed I was reading her body language correctly.

“Unfortunately,” she said, taking a huge swallow of wine. “I’m also hungry.”

“Let’s get some food and beer,” I said.

“I’ll put an order in,” she said standing up, and taking off her hoody. “There’s also another potion we should try—“

Scene 4

“Orders up,” said Jenna. She set down a plate of tater tots and two beers.

“Great,” I said, testing the heat of the food. “Why do the beers have straws?”

“Reasons,” she said, returning to the bar. She came back with another pair of potions. Instead of spilling out white vapors, these were purple and looked like they’d be made with glitter.

“I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me what this one does,” I said.

“Best way to find out is to try it!”

We clinked and downed them.

“All I know is the name for them is ‘Mostly Harmless’,” said Jenna.

The same feeling from before struck me. Magic was happening. This time the unusual feeling was starting in both of my hands, spreading upwards from those.

In one quick instant both of Jenna’s arms became glittery, to the point where they were so bright it was hard to keep them in focus. Then the bright flash was gone. As my eyes caught up with the world I noticed her arms were — gone.

“Or was it ‘Mostly Armless’?” said Jenna, with a huge grin. She shimmied two empty shoulders that ended at the same point as her T-Shirt. “It was something like that.”

I found, this time with much less surprise this time, that the same effect had vanished my own arms as well as hers. The empty sleeves of the button up shirt I was wearing dangled uselessly by my sides.

“Uh,” I said. “Yeah, looks like it was.”

“We were getting a little too handsy with each other anyway,” said Jenna. She gestured with her chin at where I was sitting in the booth, so I slid over to make more room for her. “Besides, I’ve wanted to try this one, but never found someone to do it with.”

“Wouldn’t it have been better strategy if at least one of us still had our arms,” I said, looking hungrily at the plate of food in front of me.

“What would be the fun in that?” said Jenna, leaning over to awkwardly grab a tater tot in her mouth.

“We’re probably going to make a mess,” I muttered, attempting the same maneuver.