Stories of Magic in the Time of COVID-19

Hey readers! It’s Jamie, editor here at Heretic Media and one of the host of The Body Modcast. We know it’s a ‘crazy time’ out there for the whole world, but also for the body magic and modder community. Obviously studios are closed down as are “swap meets” and a lot of the other stuff we’ve been enjoying about the body magic ‘lifestyle.’

So we asked last week on the show and on the twitters, how have you been dealing with it? Any creative solutions, or unexpected results? Building your own transformalizer yet?

And geez, y’all sure didn’t disappoint. You’ve completely obliterated my hopes of every reaching inbox zero. So this is just a small selection of some videos or tweets or other stuff all of you send in. And if you’ve got your own stories, we want to hear them! You could even get featured on our fancy podcast thing, who knows.

So that’s it. That’s the introduction. Let’s get into this.

Shorty in Sweatpants

Lara J. (@shortstuff-lj)

This video was helpfully transcribed and edited by our 6-armed intern Anna, thanks Anna!

So this started on my birthday a few weekends ago. And the news of everything was just starting to happen and we kind of knew it’d be the last real weekend anyone got to have before we started social distancing “for real” you know. So I definitely wanted to do something special, which, for me, meant uh, this.

Yeah, I went and got turned into a shorty. Just half a girl, but the important half. Legs, hips, head, the end. Basically I’m just a very literal piece of ass.

You can probably see where this is going — the idea was to just do it for the weekend. But then on Monday morning, we got the email — WizWorks was closed until further notice. And for like, a really good reason.

So … they did offer a way to schedule any ‘undo’ appointments, but they were re-arranging their whole schedule so it was one person at a time. And using a computer or a phone like this is hard! I’ve only got feet!

Anyway, I could have rescheduled, but then I just … didn’t. Because if I’m being honest, I kind of wanted to stay this way anyway.

On the video she shrugs here

Off-Camera Question: How are you managing your new shape? Who’s helping you?

Well, that’s a great question, since it’s you Julia! Credit where it’s due, this wouldn’t have been possible without my awesome girlfriend.

Okay, since not everyone out there is familiar with ‘the implication’ of being a shorty it works like this: You take care of me, I take care of you. And I guess since I’m a bit high-maintenance like this, it’s usually better for everyone if I’m uh… passed around a bit.

Uh, for the story, I guess, after the weekend of … fun, we decided to make a quarantine ‘pod’ with our upstairs neighbors who we’re uh, already very close with you can say. Their names are Jay and Vicky, and uh… yeah, so we’re hanging out a lot. We figured this way only one of us needs to go out for stuff like groceries.

Everyone has jobs they can do remote, although maybe my ‘job’ is more of the blow job kind…

Off camera laughing

What? I’m going to tell them! This next part is the rated X part, FYI.

So another detail about this living arrangement, that you might find interesting — as I’ve already alluded to, yes, I get to sleep with all three sexy people in return for them helping me put on sweatpants and feeding me coffee and tater tots.

But the other thing is — being this started with my birthday weekend, it also meant that all three of them made special arrangements, so all three of them have cocks. Dicks. Penises. If that wan’t already clear to you.

Jules, you should be in this! Come on!

Indistinguishable

Jules doesn’t want to to come over here because she’s getting hard.

No come on! Do it for the internet! Come show off your big dick!

Well, readers and viewers, I don’t think she’s going to do it. But you should know she has the biggest dick of the three of them, and yes, this means I am the only one with a pussy and I have to service all three.

Seriously I have had so much cum in either my mouth or my pussy this week that I —

It’s working, she’s getting so big right now. Jules! Come on!

Julia finally appears here for a brief moment, with an very impressive bulge (pic included online)

See everyone! I told you so!

Okay, one more naughty detail and then I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to take a break here and uh… finish what I just started.

Here’s another fun shorty fact: My pussy and the back of my throat are… for exactly the purposes you’re imagining, connected. No I don’t know how I’m able to talk, but that’s not really the issue here right now. What’s important is that Julia is big enough, yes really, to go [ whispers ] all the way through me. And you know if Jay and Vicky both go at each side, they can meet in the middle.

So, Jules is either in the back of my mouth or the tip is coming out depending on where she is uh, in her stroke. So that means when she cums — guess where it ends up. Everywhere. And mostly all over my face.

Okay she’s embarrassed again. I’m going to go get obliterated by this dick, then we can continue this.

Scene Cuts Forward

Okay, we’re back now. I needed to uh, take a shower. I sort of just told you all why.

So we had a few more things to include right?

Off-Camera Question: How has the Coronavirus made a difference here?

Okay, that’s a great thing to bring up. So, one thing I’m hearing and seeing everywhere is this simple message: “Wash your hands.”

Now that’s awesome! We should all wash our hands! Especially you people with hands should be washing them, for the sake of those of us who don’t have them and need your help.

But I’m going to add something to this, and not calling anyone in my quarantine bubble out here, just making a PSA — wash your dicks!

Yes, wash your dicks! Because there are also some sluts out there who have to suck them. And it’s way nicer to have to suck a clean dick. And it’s not like I have a choice not to suck those dicks, because how else would I get someone to change the Netflix show or open a bag of tortilla chips.

Second item. Actually a serious question.

I’m unsure about some stuff related to the virus, so maybe someone out there who knows more about this can shine some light on this. It’s kind of like — where do medicine and magic meet?

So— I don’t have any lungs. Or for that matter, a ribcage or a heart, or … any of that other stuff.

I know that probably doesn’t stop me from carrying the virus … but I still kind of wonder … why doesn’t everyone just become shorties? It seems like this would just … solve a lot of problems.

Like I said, I’m not in the medical field, and I’ve basically just confessed that my only real job skill right now involves blow jobs. I know, I’ve got no arms either, but you could still scrunch everyone down and leave their arms on their, I don’t know, ears or something?

Anyway, it’s been on my mind, and I don’t know why it’s not being discussed. I’m sure there’s a good reason out there, because I’m sure I wasn’t the first one to think of this. But I want to know why I’m wrong! And since this is going out to the internet, maybe one of you fine magic nerds can tell me, and someday I’ll get to reward you with my … uh, rewards.

Off Camera:Any final thoughts?

Uh, thanks for watching this I guess. Hash tags wash your hands, wash your dicks, and um… Jules are you hard again already?

Video cuts abruptly.

Homebound Adventures

Lisa L.

This video also transcribed by Anna, who would like to thank both her roommates for the donation of their arms, because she beat them at Catan last night

We open with a selfie shot of Lisa, a brunette who I’ll observe has a very upright posture.

Hi Modcast, I guess I’m a longtime listener first time caller, and well, this quarantine thing gave me time to try something I’ve always wanted to but never really done before.

And that is that I —

Cut off my head!

Here she removes her head, which had just been balanced on her shoulders. She gives it the ‘Yorik moment’ we’ve all seen so often, then tucks it under her arm.

Soo… I know there’s probably a lot of people out there who think it’s like no big deal, because they’re like, way cooler than me obviously. But for me, this was a big step. I’ve only ever tried magic stuff with like, a studio involved, and this is kind of crazy but—

I don’t know how to reattach it. I know, I could learn this on YouTube or whatever, but I just … I guess I don’t want to know?

Because the thing I found out about not having my head attached is —

She gestures with a grasping hand up in the air. And pauses.

I fucking love it!

Like I always knew I liked it, when someone did it for me at a party or something, but now that I’ve had time to just … really try this out, I don’t really think I want to have to keep it on my shoulders any more.

Anyway, I don’t really know a ton of magic people, which is why I’m kinda new to this, and of course like everyone I’m doing a lot of Zoom calls to stay in touch with my friends. And a lot of them are … confused. Or worried about me or something. So I had them submit a lot of questions and I’m going to go through and answer them here, I thought that’d be fun.

And um, I’m also going to stop here and move the camera because I don’t want to have to hold onto my head this whole time.

We open back up with a shot of Lisa’s body sitting on her couch, her head on the coffee table near the camera. A stack of cards lies next to her head.

She leans forward and picks up one of the cards, holds it up for herself to see.

Okay, so I wrote all these down but I did also shuffle them for some added excitement. The first question is—

“What the fuck” -Leslie

She laughs.

This is my cousin, for context.

Also no punctuation obviously. And yes, Les, I get it. But you know what? What-the-fuck is what made me curious about this in the first place. Like I think it was in college, there was this girl on campus and she would carry her head around instead of leaving it attached, and like we’ve all seen that for the sort of ‘subculture’ types, but she was … I don’t know a ‘Becky’ type. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it out. It just seemed so — different. And you know, easy to reverse as long as I could find someone who knew how to use magic.

So yeah, what the fuck indeed, good question, glad we’re starting out here at 11.

Next question is —

“What are your favorite things about this?” -Meg

Thanks Meg! Uh, so I guess a few things that come to mind—

First, I’d say I love that I can be in two places at the same time. That is just mind blowingly awesome to me. I’m still not very good at balancing my body without a head, but not being able to see where I’m going hasn’t been as big of a deal as I thought it would be. I mean, it is my own apartment and I live alone so… There we go.

Second thing, honestly, is getting to watch my body. For those who don’t know me, I do a lot of yoga and dance and rock climbing and swimming and … I’m kind of a fitness nerd. So getting this outsider’s point of view on my form is just ... wow, it’s so, so helpful.

Third thing, is the new point of view I have. I’ve also been a bit of a photography nerd, not like a pro or anything, but I’ve always liked taking photos and this is just … I can set my head anywhere and get a good idea of the angles I’m working with, and it’s opened up a lot more things for me to try out.

Finally, I guess I could say it’s easier to do my hair and makeup, but that’s with the generous assumption that I ever knew how to do those in the first place. Besides we’re all on lockdown here anyway so hasn’t been a huge priority.

“Did you give yourself head yet?” -Anonymous

First of all, I know who you are Ben. And second of all, yes, of course I tried it okay? We all kind of know anyone who says they didn’t or wouldn’t is a stuck up prude or a liar, and I know claiming that I’m a prude is not backed up by the evidence.

So here’s the review. It’s giving yourself head.

So maybe I just need more practice, but really, I can only say it’s not as good as regular masturbation. It’s a lot of work for the result I mean, and the main thing I like about getting head, or giving it, is that there’s another person involved.

That’s all I’m going to say on this topic. Next question.

“What’s something you didn’t expect?” -Aaron

Thanks Aaron, this is actually a good question and you’re a better friend than Ben.

So, I guess here’s something — It’s been so much easier to get comfortable in bed. I’ve been leaving my head on the pillow, out of habit really, but not having to toss and turn to get the angle of my neck right is … wow, it makes a huge difference.

Same goes for watching TV on the couch, I don’t have to curl up into a question mark shape to get comfortable. The only reason to keep my body around there is to keep shoving popcorn into my face.

And another benefit has been that my shoulders just feel way lighter. Kind of makes sense right? My posture seems to be better, but maybe that’s just because I have to watch my body slouch.

“This is awesome! What are you going to try next?” -Willow

Aww, thanks Will!

So Will is actually the first person who showed me magic. Back when we were in high school, she’d always mess with me like taking my nose or ear off, and then one time she helped me turn my head around backwards to scare my brother, but my mom freaked out and drove me over to Will’s house at 10pm so she could switch me back. Fun times.

Anyway, I don’t know yet — I think I really like the idea of getting cut in half, like right at the waist. That looks like it’d be fun for a lot of the same reasons as this is. Plus I have this stupid idea that I can’t get out of my head of my legs like … serving me drinks and stuff.

So I’m sure I’ll try it sometime— I just think it might be a little reckless to try now since I don’t even know how to put myself together again yet.

Okay, and last card —

“Will you ship us your head when all this crazy shit is over?” Steve and Lauren

Yes! Fuck yes I will!

I know there’s like those travel services that offer box trips, and honestly I am so, so, excited by the idea of mailing my head to people now. I’m pretty sure my head could still spread the virus, so I’ll wait until we flatten this fucking curve and kick this germs ass, but love this idea, I’m going to probably get like a chain of people to send my head around everywhere.

On that same topic, I don’t know what I’ll do with my body while that’s going on, I guess if someone here in town uh, want’s a free girl’s body for like a month or something, guess we’ll work that out when the time comes.

Maybe my body could like … be a body for another head coming into down to visit or something. Is there Airbnb for bodies yet? There’s got to be right?

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. Thanks to my friends who participated, and to all of y’all at Heretic making such great content and making this isolation a little more bearable.

Jenna, Deconstructed

Jenna Reidel (@jreidel23)

This was submitted in writing, so Anna doesn’t have to transcribe it. Also Anna would like to mention that just because she has 6 arms, she cannot type any faster because she only has one laptop, and besides that she only has one head. There are so many videos!

Hi Everyone! My name is Jenna, I’m a magician and an artist living in Oregon, and while I’ve been horrified by this tragedy, and lonely like most of you out there, I’ve been trying to use the new time and space to explore an… let’s call it an art project that I’ve wanted to work on.

Yeah, as you can see from the pictures, I’ve been taking apart my head.

The idea for this was that it’d be cool if I did a series based on “messing with my head” and transform it into something new every day. But of course the issue now is the Transformalizer I use is at the community magic co-op and that is closed down so…

So I’m constrained to the stuff I’ve got in my garage and workshop. Fortunately this all includes a laser cutter, a wood shop, and a number of other magical gadgets, so we’re still on pretty solid ground.

I’ll just get to the good stuff. Here’s a few of my favorites, and you can see the whole series on the instagrams.

Day 1 — Halved

This was the first one I tried. I don’t know why, but I’ve always been a bit curious about vertical slices, so that’s what I did. First I chopped my head first off, then sliced it right down the middle.

As you can see from the photo, if you do this your head can make some cute bookends!

…And that’s about the extent of the positives. Leaving both eyes open is next to impossible and gives you a headache. Your ears also don’t make sense. You can’t talk like this.

Two stars. Wouldn’t recommend, unless you desperately need some bookends.

Day 4 — Sliced

I’d seen this one a few times online, and it looked like it was getting more popular. Basically it’s just a horizontal slice right below your nose. Then you’re free to leave the upper bit of your head flat on a surface.

I like the photo because it looks a bit like I’m swimming inside my kitchen table.

This one is a good one though — you get to leave your mouth on your head, which both looks kind of hot and would be pretty nice to have in an intimate setting (unfortunately I live alone and uh, we’re in a pandemic).

If you’re into photography, the point of view you get from having your eyes basically right on the top of a surface is kind of interesting as well. It definitely made the day’s shoot an interesting one to experiment with.

Four stars. If you’re sick of just cutting off your head, or you like being headless but wish you could still keep your mouth, give this a try.

Day 5 — Sliced but different…

This is pretty similar but this time I sliced across the middle of my mouth.

Overall it was weird. Not improved over the one above. You can’t talk and your tongue is always drying out and you look kinda gross.

But I like the photo because I look super goofy with only the top half of my teeth.

Three stars.

Day 9 — Jarred

A classic brain in a jar. Always wanted to try it, and what a perfect excuse.

I should have done this one sooner but didn’t want to seem cliche. It was really fun.

First of all, the process — taking someone else’s brain out? Easy peasy. You make a loop cut around their dome, take it out, put it in the jar, add some magic, and you’re good to go.

Taking your own brain out? Tricky. It’s not getting it out of your head that’s the hard part. It’s that you need to link it up magically to keep, you know, doing brain stuff for you while you remove it.

But there’s still a brief period where you’re literally a brainless dumbass. Like your brain will eventually figure out how to keep brain-ing for your body, but it takes, I don’t know for sure, like five minutes?

So the main thing is, you want to prepare for that. Since you’ll be incredibly stupid.

I know, this is a ‘feature not a bug’ for a lot of people. I get it. Being a ditz is fun, messing with a ditz is better. But for me, doing this by myself, it’s a pretty big obstacle.

Next item: you might want a better jar, not an iced tea tank, but that’s really just for aesthetics. Just make sure the value is CLOSED or you’ll look like an idiot with your brain juice leaking out as soon as you fill it up. This happened when I did have a brain, so I’ve got no excuse.

Anyway — once it’s done, it’s awesome. Your head feels so much more clear. Drafty even. You can shine a flashlight from one ear out the other.

Second thing. You can keep stuff in your head. Convenient. Crafty. So many possibilities.

Third thing. You have a nice decorative brain. Looks good on a shelf or a desk!

So, that’s all a long way of saying, I am not putting my brain back in. I see no downsides and all upsides to this.

Five stars.

Day 17 — Only Eyes for You

So here I am. Vanished my head. Except for two eyeballs.

Weird? Sure. Fun? Very.

My friend Maggie and I used to do this all the time in high school. We’d take our eyes out and then the other one of us would get to keep them in a ziplock bag.

We were weird kids.

Here’s what I like about it: It’s weird.

It’s not convenient for all of the obvious reasons. Plus if you don’t have a mouth, but you have a craving for ice cream, it can become an issue.

Four point five stars because Maggie is awesome.

Day 23 — Deconstructed

Admittedly, trying to do new stuff with this every day was getting hard. So for this day, I just took everything apart. Eyes. Nose. Ears. Jaw. Tongue. Lips. Teeth. Hair.

It was hard as hell to get through the day without losing bits. But it was fun to arrange myself for this photo at least.

Three stars.

Day 33 — VICTORY

I’ve done it. I’ve broken through the humdrum world of upside down noses and mouths on my forehead. I’ve found the best use of magic that’s ever existed.

Step 1: Make a margarita.

Step 2. Pour Margarita into your empty head.

Step 3. Connect straws from ears to mouth.

This is my favorite thing to ever happen. This is exactly how I’m going to go to every party from now until forever, and exactly how I’ll be raging when they finally let us go out in public.

Sorry everyone. Especially mom. Turns out my calling is just to be a margarita pitcher.

All the f-ing stars.

Discoveries in Isolation

Alex and Sam of ‘Cooking with Alex and Sam’

One final video to transcribe! Anna would like everyone to know she’s on a roll. And she’s down to only four arms because two were lent back to Abby for Essential Tacos.

Also it’s worth reporting that the stakes for this evenings game of Catan have been raised to ALL THE LIMBS IN THE HOUSE (6 arms, 6 legs). Will Anna achieve her dream of becoming a spider? Will she end up as a limbless girl who can no longer type things for the internet? Find out later I guess!

Finally, this video is professionally edited, there are a lot of cuts to add in. Also there are two people on camera.

We open on a straight on shot of the two of them on the couch. Alex has freckles and beach blond hair, Sam is a brunette with glasses.

Alex: Hi everyone! I’m Alex, this is Sam.

She throws her arm around Sam and it’s adorbs.

Sam: We host a cooking channel thing on YouTube called originally, ‘Cooking with Alex and Sam.’

A: Hey that’s us!

S: We’re them. We’re they. Uh, they’re us!

Cut

A: Anyway, we don’t usually do magic on the show except for a gag, but we uh, made a discovery that we thought would work better for Heretic, and just uh…

S: It needs to be shared.

A: Sure it does, I guess. Okay, listen—

Cut

A: We’re going to begin by explaining, we uh, had this idea for a bit on the channel where we were going to trade brains.

S: I bake, she cooks, so the idea was we’d trade our brains and do the opposite.

A: And you know, in our uh, spare time, we’re both weirdos who do magic, so we figured, we can handle this without a studio, no big deal right?

S: And then lo and behold—

Cut

We see that the tops of Alex’s and Sam’s heads are off.

S: We popped our head open.

A: Wait, how are we doing this shot? Why is your head open too.

Cut.

Two items appear on the table.

S: In my head, we found a normthat al brain. Here it is.

She gestures robotically to the brain in a jar on the table.

A: But in my head was uh, a dick!

Alex cheerily picks up the dick was also on the table. She sets it back down.

S: This explains so, so much about you.

A: Well thanks, I guess. But the question in my mind is, how long was this in there? Is it someone else’s dick or where did it come from?

S: See, this is what I’d assume you would know.

A: I don’t recall. The last time I confirmed my brain was in my head was sophomore year of college.

S: Maybe that’s because you have a dick for a brain. It could affect your memory.

A: Possibly, but shit dude, this dick probably got me through grad school so…

S: Anyway, this was quite a discovery.

A: We’ve calculated a number of scenarios:

Cut. Scene title: “Scenario 1.”

A: At some point someone did this to me as a prank. And then they either forgot about it, or decided never to tell me.

S: And that’s it, that’s the scenario.

A: I mean, we have more of them.

S: I’m not terribly concerned with how you’ve got a dick for a brain, I’m more concerned with the fact that we’re lesbians who’ve been dating for four years, and you’ve had a dick for a brain the whole time.

A: A fair point to bring up. However you said—

S: Wait, first you need to tell them.

A: Fine. Okay. Big reveal.

Cut

A is now holding her dick. It’s at full attention.

A: It’s very hard to keep my composure like this.

S: I gave her brain a boner with my titties.

A: I’m not turned on by dicks. But, this is … uh, definitely mine.

S: If she’s turned on, her dick gets hard, if you get her dick hard, she gets turned on. Math checks out.

A: Right so uhh…

S: Watch where you’re pointing that thing, you’re still not good at aiming yet.

A: It cums! Yes. I kind of wonder like, when this was inside my head, was I just …

S: Your brain was soaking in your own cum this whole time.

A: Weird. Okay, so anyway. I don’t know what to do about this.

S: I’m into it.

Cut.

Both of them sitting awkwardly while Sam strokes out a hand job.

Cut again.

A: Okay, now tell everyone what you just confessed to me off camera.

S: I’m turned on by dicks.

A: What. The. Fuck.

S: I’ve told you this before.

A: Yeah but you’re gay. We’re gay together. That’s our thing.

S: Okay, so call the gay police. I find your dick attractive.

A: So thanks for watching everyone, my dick is attractive.

S: Honestly it is. And whoever did this to her, uh, thanks! I’m into it.

A: Wait, was it you? Are you just gaslighting me?

S: There’s no such thing as gaslighting, you only think that because you’ve got a dick for a brain.

A: While on that note, I guess we’ll sign off! See you later internet!

Final cut. You’ll hear from Anna later I guess. Or you won’t because she’s a torso girl with no limbs. Stay tuned?