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Big Time Loser

“Boom! Suck on that!” said Jessica loudly, standing up and throwing down the controller. She pumped her fists in the air and turned to smile triumphantly over Mike. It was a Friday night party at her house, and there had already been a few beers knocked back.

Mike had two conflicting thoughts immediately overwhelm him. The first was that Jessica was way better at Super Smash Bros than he had expected, and the second was that he hadn’t yet told Alice about the bet they’d made.

Just as that dawned on him, he Alice came in from the living room where the rest of the party was happening. She was one of those people with a more or less permanent upbeat attitude. Something he liked about her. Still, he was not sure how to break the news.

“Uh, hey,” he said. “So listen—”

“Your boyfriend just lost, big-time,” said Jessica, making a flat cutting motion around her own neck.

“What?”

“I uh… we bet our bodies on this game and…” He raised an eyebrow at Alice.

Alice’s usual resting smile spread into a grin.

“You mean,” she said brightly, “That you’re going to get your head cut off?”

“Actually,” said Jessica, taking Alice by the arm. “His head will be the only part left of him.

————

The ‘head machine’ at Jessica and Dave’s shared house was rather homemade. It was little more than a pair of large plastic trashcans turned upside down. There was a material shifter array taped to the inside of them, and some kind of controller build with a raspberry pi computer.

Mike was helped into one of them, a towel around his neck to protect from the sharp edges of the plastic. Jessica was the one who was allowed to carry out the “execution.”

As it was prepped, those gathered around at the party began to hush and look over at him, until Jessica, standing beside him, housed up a plastic sword from the dollar store.

“Attention all!” she said, in a stage voice. “You are witnesses to the beheading of Mike! For he challenged me to a game of Super Smash Brothers and lost! The terms are—”

She took out the scrap of paper where they’d written the terms ahead of the game.

“One Human Body. Mike do you have a body to give me?”

“Uh,” said Mike. “Just the one I’ve got now.”

“That will have to do!” said Jessica. She grabbed him by the hair. Put the sword to his neck.

Somewhere, Mike felt the actual machine engage below him. He came free from … everything. Dangled in Jessica’s hands.

He was at that point, only a head. His body was now in some kind of extra dimensional nether-space.

She raised him up triumphantly over the cheering group. As he twisted helplessly in Jessica’s grasp, his eyes caught Alice as she was watching, with a beer in her hand.

She was smiling bigger than he’d ever seen before.

————

Having your head cut off wasn’t what it used to be. Post Quantum Event, these things could happen to anyone. It had become, at least in Mike’s circle of friends, a party trick. They would spend the summer at bonfires, finding really any reason to either switch heads onto different bodies, separate, or just disappear one or the other. Mike had been in just about all of the possible situations before.

Alice, who he had been dating only a couple months, at first seemed to just blush at the mention of those parties. There was something in her body language suggesting she was uncertain, conflicted. But then she’d admitted it one night while they were falling asleep together.

“I think I’d really like to get my head cut off,” she said. “At one of those weird parties.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I just … the idea is kinda hot.”

“Really?” said Mike, flipping over to face her. This was definitely a promising direction.

“Is that weird? Am I weird for wanting that?” she said, biting her lip.

“Maybe,” he said kissing her nose. “Maybe I’m weird too.”

“Oh and if I saw you get your head cut off I’d probably cum on the spot,” she said. And with those words, she closed her eyes, turned over, and pretended to go to sleep.

The Party Heats Up

So that was the context as Mike’s body was vanished into some kind of ethereal storage dimension in Jessica’s basement for losing at a video game. Mike found himself tossed through the air twice, but not able to tell who, and then he was stuffed into the outstretched hands of Alice.

She turned him upwards to face her. Her face was a perfect mix of delight, awe, fascination, and lust.

“This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” she said. “I just mean… you’re so perfect like this.”

She lifted him up to give him a kiss, then looked around at everyone else there conspiratorially.

“I um… let’s go find somewhere private,” she said. She tucked him under her arm and slipped out of the living room dodging between people like a running back, and then carefully making her way up the carpeted stairs. Once she’d gone through to an open bedroom with some coats on the bed, she shut the door and turned on one of the lamps, leaving Mike on the bed by himself.

“Oh my god,” she said, sitting down to where she was eye level with him. “You’re really only a head.”

“You um… really got me on that one,” said Mike.

“I mean really though,” she said, with even more enthusiasm. “You’re completely and only just a head. You don’t have a body at all.”

“Yeah, I um… I am aware.”

“I know, it’s just like, every time I say it out loud it gives me this little thrill. My boyfriend doesn’t have a body! My boyfriend is just a fucking head!”

She pounced on him, tucking his head into her stomach and curling up all around him.

“You’re just a head, just a head, just a head!” she repeated.

This went on for some time. Mike would try to divert things to … well any other topic, but Alice’s attention would boomerang back to that one fact. Finally he decided on another approach.

“So…” he stared, “Do you … want some head?”

————

All of 45 seconds later, Alice was catching her breath again.

“Well,” she said, in between gasps. “That was … efficient.”

“I’m … starting to realize why you were so excited about this.”

“I didn’t even realize I was this excited though,” said Alice. Making eye contact with him again, her expression melted. “Oh my fucking god you’re cute like this. Can I keep you like this?”

“I mean,” said Mike. “You’re going to have to. I’m stuck like this for a week.”

Alice’s eyes lit up as brightly as they had the moment his head had been first detached.

“It lasts for a week?!” she said with a gasp.