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Two Are Better Than One

“So wait,” said Marc, “Can we go over this again?”

Elly rolled her eyes. Well, she did with one of her heads. The other one on her shoulders smiled sweetly back at him.

“Sure,” said the nice head. The brunette with big eyes and a short pixie cut. “It’s really quite simple. I was at the swap meet on Thursday night and I traded my head.”

“For two heads,” said the other head, the sassy blond on the table, with a buzzed undercut. “Cause I’m a smoking hot redhead.”

“Except not now,” said her brunette head. “Now I’m either a brunette or blond I guess.”

Marc squinted from the nice head to the sassy one and back up again. He had been hanging out with or possibly dating Elly for about two weeks. He was actually hoping to clarify that detail that day, they’d made plans to meet up for a Saturday noon-thirty beer and take a walk along the river. But now Elly had thrown him a curveball, first telling him cryptically over text she’d traded away her redhead, and now apparently that was literally what had happened.

He knew, of course, that Elly liked to go to a ‘swap meet’. The way she explained it, it was like … a farmer’s market, but for bodies…

To add to how weird this was, the ‘other’ head of Elly’s was not even physically attached to anything. It was just there, on the table between them, and heckling him as he tried to work out just what the heck was happening.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m just trying to catch up, sorry. How are you not… like your brain is in your head right? Isn’t that, I don’t know, you?”

Elly, or possibly the nice brunette pretending to be Elly, shrugged.

“It’s magic,” she said.

“Yeah doofus, it’s magic!” said the blond, sticking her tongue out flirtatiously.

“But you’re partly right,” said the brunette. “Like, when you trade heads with someone, it’s like… you take on a new personality, sort of. It’s a bit hard to explain to someone who hasn’t tried it. So like … my consciousness of like ‘being Elly’ stays from one to the next, but the sort of thoughts I get in each head are different.”

“Okay,” said Marc. He paused to take a sip of beer. “That… would explain a bit.”

“I still fucking like you, don’t worry,” said the blond head on the table. She winked at him.

“Uh, thanks,” said Marc.

“Also,” she added, “I’ve got twice as much brains as you do now.”

Marc laughed, as did Elly’s other head.

“Okay,” he said pausing to adjust his glasses. “How does that work. Two heads. Two brains. Are you like … seeing from both at once? Is that hard”

Elly shrugged again. “Magic,” she said. With the head on her shoulders.

“I’ve got two brains,” said the head on the table. “So it’s easy.”

“Again, it’s sort of hard to explain if you haven’t tried it before. But like… I guess what you mean is like, do I have some mental link to my other head.”

“That would be cool,” said the head on the table.

“But it’s more like… both heads have the same memories and identity. Like, me, as in the ‘brunette’ that is on my shoulders, I can remember when I was this cute blond here.”

Elly paused ruffling the hair of the head on the table.

“Hey!” said the other head.

“And for that matter, I can remember my redhead, and the head before that, and before that…”

“Wait—“ said Marc. “I didn’t realize the redhead was not your — like your head.”

“It was my head,” said the blond, almost derisively. “That’s what we’ve been talking about for fucking 20 minutes.”

“Shush,” said the brunette Elly, patting her other head gently. “The redhead was my head, but not my original one, no. I traded that thing away years ago.”

“Okay—“ said Marc, leaning back and stifling the urge to just laugh. “That at least explains why you were so casual about this…”

“I told you I loved swapping!” said the blond on the table. “It’s really fun! You should try it.”

“Right,” said Marc. “I mean, maybe… but also, I still — okay, two questions.”

Both heads spoke simultaneously, the brunette saying “Okay” sweetly, and the blond muttering “Jesus fucking christ.”

Marc paused looking down at the blond who made a face at him.

“Um,” he said, turning his attention back to the other head, “Okay. First one was what your original head looked like, and the second was … what parts are still originally you?”

“Oooh,” said the blond. “Now we’re getting into it.”

“Let me find a photo,” said the brunette, taking out her phone.

“I want to answer the second one,” said the blond.

“Yeah okay,” said the brunette, grinning at her other head.

“Tits,” said the blond head, raising an eyebrow.

“Tits,” repeated Marc. “And … that’s all?”

“That’s right,” said the blond head. “Real tits, fake girl.”

“You make it sound like I’m made of plastic,” said Elly’s other head.

“Shut up it’s funny,” said Elly’s blond head.

“But that’s the essence of it,” said Elly’s brunette head, looking up from her phone and shrugging.

“Okay,” said Marc. For lack of any words, he took a sip of beer, looking from one head to the other. He liked the direction this was heading… but they were still new enough that he didn’t want to overplay his hand. Somehow this felt weird, like a first date all over again. Somehow it also felt familiar. He’d already… been there with her. As a redhead. He tried to remind himself of that.

“You can look at ‘em, Jesus,” said Elly’s head on the table.

Marc laughed, almost chocking on his beer.

“Give him a better look,” said the same head from the table to her other head. Elly sat up straighter, moving her shoulders back and her chest forward. She didn’t look up from her phone.

“You do have pretty great tits,” said Marc, taking in a good long eyeful.

“Thanks,” said Elly’s head on the table. “I guess you should know this about me — I basically, like essentially — am just a pair of tits. Like those are me and the rest of everything is just the body I’m wearing.”

In response, her brunette head only smirked a bit, but didn’t correct her.

“How do you mean that,” said Marc, looking down at the blond.

“I’m exaggerating a bit,” said Elly’s brunette head. “But like… yeah. I’d rather be only these tits than pretty much anything else. So…”

She shrugged again. Marc realized it was the same gestured she’d made over and over on their first coffee date. Somehow that brought it back for him. This was Elly. He’d known that, at least abstractly, but that made is somehow more true than before.

And those definitely were some great looking tits, he thought to himself.

“C’mon,” said Elly’s head on the table. “Finish your beer. Let’s go on that walk.”

The Other Side of the Deal

Amanda rolled over in her covers, stretching her legs out. Her hamstrings were tight in the mornings. One of those things about getting older. Her shoulders felt pleasantly sore from climbing the evening before. She relished the feeling, just how physical everything was.

She definitely noticed more about her body this way.

In the bed, she kicked over to where Jenna might have been. Her side of the bed was empty, but still warm. Amanda savored the extra space, expanding her limbs out like a starfish, using all of the bed she could. She wondered what time it was, but decided that wasn’t important. Her phone was set to go off, to wake her up.

It was probably light out already.

Of course for her, everything was still dark. She loved it this way.

A moment passed, then she was interrupted.

The world blinked into existence.

Sound started to happen with a weirdly noticeable buzz of a microphone. Sounds happened, arranging themselves into words as her consciousness got caught up and synced with the inputs.

“He—llo my love,” said Jenna.

Pixels arranged and re-arranged, then grew into a picture. From her point of view, a giant holding her.

“Hi there,” said Amanda. Her voice, even simulated over the speaker, sounded authentically groggy. She wanted to blink.

She instinctively threw her hands up to block the light. It didn’t work.

Instead she felt the same wonderful feeling she loved so much about this. Reaching up instinctively to discover she didn’t have a head anymore.

Just nothing there. Empty space above her shoulders.

Her senses, some of them anyway, were coming out of her phone. Which Jenna was holding. Even though Amanda couldn’t see it, she knew there was a rendering of her face on the screen, sort of like a virtual head just floating in space. Well to be honest, it wasn’t truly ‘her’ head, more like a cartoon version of herself. Like a caricature of a punky lesbian, the avatar had a purple mohawk and sometimes a face tattoo.

In truth, Amanda was a blond. Well, sort of. She was really nothing right now. Or if you counted the phone-face, she could be anything really.

“You sure are pretty,” she said, still groggy with sleep. She still wanted to blink. Didn’t make sense why, but not being able to was like having an itch she couldn’t scratch.

“Why thank you,” said Jenna, blowing a kiss to the screen.

It had been that past Thursday at the swap meet that the two of them had traded for Jenna’s new head. A smoking hot redhead. But even though that had only been a couple days ago, it all seemed rather hazy and distant.

The details she could still remember if she tried. Amanda meeting this girl. Whatever her name was. Elly? Yes that was it. She asked about Amanda’s sleeve of tattoos. Compared her own on her calf. Talked about the food truck. Jenna came back with ice cream, and complemented the girls hair, her face. She was gorgeous, Jenna said, sizing her up with those big pretty eyes.

A deal was made. An easy trade for Jenna. And Amanda really didn’t like having a head that much anyway.

And since then, it was just like one glorious moment flowing into the next. She loved the feeling of just existing there, physically. It was like, in place of all the sense of sight and sound and taste and smell, she could just feel herself even more. She’d always loved getting kissed and touched on the neck. This was like taking that same effect and multiplying it by a thousand. She only had a neck. More like half of one really. But every time Jenna started on it, she just had literal shivers running down her spine.

Of course it did make it hard to …

What was the word?

Oh right, focus.

Having a head was good for focusing.

She realized that Jenna had been talking to her while getting dressed. She mentally rewound the conversation as best she was able. Jenna was talking about her schedule.

“Are you listening?” she said, turning to look at Amanda’s camera.

From the bed, Amanda gave a ‘meh’ gesture with her hand.

“I’ll text it to you okay,” said Jenna. “You know, I really appreciate you giving up your head for this trade.”

“Anything to get eaten out by that face,” said Amanda, giving a thumbs up. “Hey can we do that now? Where are you going?”

“I have to go to a meeting. Just for a couple hours. That’s what I was just telling you, you brainless idiot,” said Jenna. She paused. “Sorry, I’m not used to being this mean. But this head is really sassy…”

“Call me that again,” said Amanda.

Jenna picked up Amanda’s phone and then jumped onto the bed, straddling her body.

“You,” said Jenna, turning the phone around so the camera was looking down. “Don’t have a fucking head. Look at that. No head on this girl.”

“Holy fuck—“ Amanda started to say. She could feel the weight of Jenna on top of her. And at least for the first time that morning, she got a good look at her empty shoulders. Just seeing that — seeing it from somewhere else too — brought this home to her in a whole new way.

Jenna turned and dropped Amanda’s phone onto the pillow. Where her head would be.

“And since you’re just a —“ Jenna licked her lips, curls of red hair spiraling down beautifully “—brainless idiot.”

Amanda’s mind, or as much as she had of one, rolled over the words again, savoring them. Jenna continued.

“You’re pretty much just thinking with your tits—“

Jenna took a handful.

“—And your ass.”

Jenna reached behind her to grab that as well.

“—And your pussy.”

Jenna gave her a bump with her hips.

“And I will get to all three of those later when I get home,” said Jenna, adding a small sigh and shifting her tone from sultry to remorseful. She got up off of Amanda.

Damn it, thought Amanda.