“Yea, so… it’s a weird job.”

Jessica set her head down on the bar-height table between us, next to her whiskey drink.

My name is Brett. I was at a house party being thrown by my friends Tom and Angela. And I’d spotted this girl who was carrying around her own detached head. So of course I’d gone to introduce myself.

“But, you know, I get to play around with magic, so that’s a nice perk. And for whatever reason I also get dental insurance.”

“Fancy! What’s the guy’s name again?”

“The Great Garfoli. Well, actually his name is Carl.”

“Carl the Great has a ring to it.”

“Sure, but he’s like … all in. Red cape. Tuxedo. Top hat. Curling mustachio. The whole number. Once I saw him in street clothes on a weekend and straight up didn’t recognize him.”

“How’d you even get the job?” I said, stealing a glance at her cleavage. Her body was in a strapless top and jeans that fit her a little too well.

“Hey my eyes are down here mister,” she jibed.

“Whoa, am I that obvious?” I know how to play this game.

“It’s a lot easier to spot from a different angle. You know what’s funny? I can set my head down, walk across the room, and see everyone who checks out my ass.”

“That’s just unfair.”

“I’ll read it as a complement. From you at least.” She winked. “But anyway, yea, the job. I don’t know, I was out of work, didn’t want an hourly position or anything. I’ve always been interested in magic stuff, just cause… well, can I be honest?”

“I suppose there’s room for honesty here.”

“Okay, I actually just really like the idea of well… this?”

Her body pointed to the space above her shoulders.

“Um… yeah, most of us keep our heads there.”

“Yea, I don’t know. Being in pieces gives me this kind of thrill. When I was sixteen I volunteered at this magic show thing, it was super-cheesy, but I got sawed in half… It was this old fumbling magician, and I wouldn’t let him put me back together again. I remember watching my lower half walk around the stage, and just being like, ‘This. This right here is me.’”

She stopped and squinted at me. I realized my eyes had gone back to her body, tracing the shape of her legs and hips.

“Go ahead,” she said.

“Go ahead what?”

“You were going to make a ‘piece of ass’ comment or something.”

“I haven’t gotten a good enough look yet,” I smirked, looking back at her head. She was grinning at me, looking amused.

“Oh, no? Not interested?”

Her body turned around and leaned over thrusting her butt out towards me.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” I commented, pretending to be disinterested. Her ass looked fantastic.

“Thanks,” she said sarcastically. “Luckily I don’t need your approval because I can see it myself.”

“Um…” I stopped what I was about to say.

“What?”

“Nevermind.”

“No, you were going to say something.”

“I was going to ask something inappropriate.”

“Go ahead!”

“You’ll be offended. You seem like you’re too nice.”

“Oh, I’m not nearly as nice as you think. What’s the question?”

“Have you ever given yourself head?”

“Uh, duh! What do you think the best thing about taking my head off is?”

After a pause she added, “You want to try it? Ever wish you could give yourself—“

“How about another beer?” I asked.

She laughed, giving me a wink. “Yeah, okay. You want to outside?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“You carry my head, I’ll get the beers.”

I picked her up and held her eye-level with myself. I could have kissed her, but decided to let the tension build some more. I tucked her under my arm like a football and went out to the back deck.

Somehow, her headless body navigated through the crowd of people to the fridge, and followed us out the screen door. I’d have to ask about that in a moment. I sat in a camping chair and pulled another one over for her, and held her head out for her to take.

Instead, she tipped some beer into her mouth, and then handed her head back to me. I slouched back and rested her on my stomach.

“So you didn’t finish telling me how you actually got hired.”

“Oh yeah. So after the first magic show, I started learning anything I could about magic. My mom wasn’t really thrilled about it, but when I went to college, I found a group of … like-minded folks. So I learned all about it, you know, setting up portals, adjustments, transformations…”

“So you can turn me into a newt?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” she said. “Maybe an earthworm or a frog or a bug…”

“All right, all right,” I said.

“Or I could turn you into a piece of pie,” she said, locking her eyes with mine. “Or an ice cream cone, maybe a piece of chocolate.” She slowly licked her lips.

“Hmm,” I smiled. I guess my body language betrayed that that made me a bit nervous.”

“Or a beer,” she said offhandedly.

I took the beer from next to her body and helped her drink from it.

“Thanks,” she said. “So anyway. That’s how I started this whole thing. And then Carl, I mean, ‘Garfoli’ and I wound up here in the same amateur magician’s group. He wanted to go pro, and I was like what the hell.”

“So is he good then? At magic?”

“What? Yeah, he’s got very good technique. Like I said, his presentation is a bit over-the-top. Or more like so far over-the-top that you have to come up with a new top.”

“And you make money doing it?”

“Not yet. Or he doesn’t. But his family is well-off, and he pays me well enough. I mean, before I was bartending to support my magic habit, so this is a definite step in the right direction I think.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it figured out,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s fun. And um… nevermind.”

“What?”

“Okay, it’s my turn for a question.” She bit her lip. “Do you want my body?”

My eyes shot up to her body leaning forward in her chair.

“What I mean is… well, okay, you can obviously tell that I’m a little weird.”

“Just a little?”

She giggled. “Yeah, so… I really like to swap heads with guys. Well, swap bodies actually, we’d be keeping our own heads.”

“Hm… that’s a bit of a curveball you’ve got there,” I said.

“C’mon, just for a bit? I’ll swap back with you whenever you want…”

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s try it.”

Her eyes lit up and she smiled at me. “Really? Okay. I need my head back so I can see what I’m doing.”

She took her head and set it down on the railing of the deck.

“So, first we need to remove your head. Sounds easy enough right?”

“I guess so.”

“My favorite way is a guillotine, but I don’t think there’s one of those around here. So I need you to just sit up straight for a moment.”

She had me scoot my chair forward and her body came up behind me, while her head watched us from the railing. She grabbed my chin and started rocking my head back and forth a bit.

“Seems loose enough. You ready?” she said. Our eyes locked.

She didn’t wait for me to say anything. I felt her twist and pull. There was a cracking noise, the feeling of vertebrae in my neck popping, and then…

Well, my head came loose. My vision spun around to face her boobs.

“Get a good look!” I heard her say. “They’re about to be yours.”

She shoved my face right into her cleavage.

“Mmmph,” was all I offered as a reply.

She set me down on the railing next to her head, facing both our headless bodies.

“Good view, huh?”

Still able to feel my body, my hands wandered to the empty stump of a neck on my shoulders. It was an altogether surreal feeling. Touching the spot where my head had been attached sent tingles down my whole spine.

“Yeah, your neck can be … sensitive for a while after the first time,” she said.

“It’s weird. It’s almost like… an…”

“Calm down there! Don’t get too excited, I have plans for that body.”

“Um… okay?”

“Okay, here we go,” she said. She picked up her own head, and I watched her sit down on my lap, aligning it over my neck, and then placing her head where mine had been.

I lost all feeling after that. Her former body seemed to go limp, while she gasped.

The switch had happened. She stood up, cradling her own body into the other chair and looked at me with a mischievous look.

“What do you think?” she said, pulling up my sleeve and flexing.

“Looks pretty good on you,” I said.

“Hm… and you…”

She picked me up and held me up eye level, about six inches away from her face.

“You are just a head,” she grinned.

“You’re not going to leave me this way, are you?” I said, in only slightly a more serious tone.

“You’re really cute like that,” she said. “Are you sure you want to have a body tonight?”

I tried to keep my composure.

“I do like those boobs,” I offered.

“All right, thanks for being a good sport. By the way—“

She kissed me on the lips.

When that broke, she leaned over, and set me down on her body slumped over in the chair. In a rush of pins and needles, I had feeling return to … everywhere. It was an intense rush, and I breathed in sharply.

“Oh shit,” I said, “I wasn’t ready for that.”

I realized she was sitting on top of me and I was gripping her — um… myself? I don’t know the terminology, but whatever — around the waist.

She kissed me again.

“Stand up,” she said, getting off of me. “See what you think.”

I did, running my hands down my new curves.

“It’s … different. Softer, more… warmer, I guess. And these are fucking great,” I said, cupping my new boobs.

“I’m pretty happy with my new bod too,” she whispered, wrapping me up in her arms. “Why don’t we go rejoin everyone inside for a while?”

—

What followed was definitely one of the more interesting nights of partying I’ve had. And I can pretty comfortably say, I’ve had a lot of those.

The thing was, I knew a lot of the people there. So there were quite a few double-takes as I flounced around, practicing an exaggerated hip motion, and other shenanigans.

I got my ass grabbed a lot. As you might imagine, my guy friends were a bit confused, if still enthusiastic.

“So… can I touch ‘em?” asked Mark.

“Go ahead,” I said. “Limited time offer, free boobs grabs.”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” said Mark. “Not gonna lie, this is still pretty weird to me.”

“Pretty confusing. I guess I’m a lesbian now?”

“Well, are you still going to hook up with Jessica then?”

“Seems that way.”

“Go for it, um… ‘bro’” he smirked and laughing.

Most of the girls there were not so inhibited.

“Didn’t think you were the head-swap type. This is a whole new side of you,” grinned Megan, sticking her hand in my back pocket. “You still stand like a guy though.”

“How should I do it?” I asked.

“Here,” she said, guiding my hips to different angle. “Pick your shoulders up a bit more, don’t slouch like that.”

“It’s a good thing Jessica wasn’t wearing heels.”

“I have some in the car if you wanna practice.”

“Let’s get used to the basics first.”

“You know,” said Megan, “I’ve never switched with a guy before…”

“But you have…”

“Oh in college one of my roommates got this head-swapping kit, and we used to borrow each other’s bodies all the time.”

“They make head-swapping kits? Why didn’t I know about this?”

“I guess they’re more of a thing marketed to girls? Which is funny, because they make a great party toy… I mean…”

She squeezed my boobs. “How often do I get to freely fondle a guy like this?”

The night continued like that. I got twerking lessons. Megan got Jessica to switch her head onto her boyfriends body. Alison’s arms were taken away after she broke a glass. A picture of Jessica and I made its’ way to facebook.

Finally it was late enough. Jessica leaned over to me on the dance floor.

“You ready to finish exploring that new body of yours?” she whispered.

“Yea, where do we go and how do we get there?”

“Oh, I’ll just call my boyfriend and have him give you a ride home.”

It was late enough that it took me a few seconds to realize she was joking.

“You should’ve seen your face,” she grinned. “Ghostly white. Been trying to pass one by you all night.”

“It’s a bit unfair to mix that in with the hot and heavy stuff,” I said.

She laughed.

“I live a block away from here,” she said, licking her lips. “Let’s go.”