"Uhhr."

"Hey."

"Huh?"

"It's Rosa. From last night?"

"Oh. What time is it?"

"How should I know? I just woke up too. At my house. How did I get here?"

"I sent you home. You were passed out drunk."

"No I wasn't. Listen I just woke up in the closet."

"Must have been quite a night."

"I know what happened! They hung up my jacket, and when I reappeared, I was hanging in the closet!"

"So why are you calling?"

"Because … I'm not sure how to say this. There's a hanger … in me?"

God dammit. Why hangs up jackets in the closet anyway? I just throw mine over a chair. That's what normal people do.

"Right. I'll come over after breakfast."

"What should I do?"

"Hang out?"

"Oh that was terrible. I love it."

Coffee, bacon, eggs. The breakfast of champions. If champions were washed up magicians working part-time tech support.

I drove over. She answered the door looking like she was struggling not to laugh.

So was I kind of. Sticking out the top of her head was a plastic hook, and two plastic rods ran from her ears into her shoulders.

"Want something to drink?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay, so what happened? My neck is starting to get stiff, sorry."

"Yea, I'll just. Hang on. Lie prone on the couch for a second."

She lay down, a bit awkwardly as she couldn't turn her head to the side.

"This might feel weird."

"Mmph," was all I heard.

I snapped my fingers, focusing hard on that spot, right at the base of her neck. Fzzt.

I put the coat hanger back in the closet. Least I could do. I looked back at the couch where Rosa's body below the waist was still lying. I surmised she was just then figuring out what had happened. Yep. Her legs back to move a little bit.

"You can get up now," I said. Awkwardly, she rolled to where she was sitting on the couch, then stood up. She walked around towards me.

"So, since you're listening, I wanna tell you this," I said. "You take this really well. And you know what, I don't like to admit it, but I really do miss doing magic. I'll just ask - do you want to learn? You seem like you're interested, and I'm actually open to the idea."

Kazzam! Her upper half appeared on the couch.

"Ohh! That was so… I was over there and suddenly … oh, I'm in two pieces. Okay, but before I tell you yes, why didn't you take me home last night? Cause I totally thought you were going to."

"You know, that's usually the move I make. But if you really wanna know, I think it's just because I respected you too much."

"Well, that's the textbook answer, good job."

"Can I get some coffee actually?"

"Of course. There's a fresh pot. I'll walk you over."

I followed her legs into the kitchen, poured myself a cup of coffee. Took a moment to really stare at her ass. I can't be a classy guy all the time. I've got my limits. Plus my head was killing me.

"Stop staring at my ass," she shouted.

"Okay." I laughed, walking back into the living room.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"What?!"

I grinned. "It'll come to you."

She frowned for a moment, turning to look in the direction of the kitchen. "My legs! They're gone, aren't they."

I shrugged. "Fraid so. You asked me to stop you know."

She just looked at me, finally cracking up.

"Well," she said. "I've always dreamed of being a magician's assistant."

"Really."

"Hell no, I've never considered it till now."

"Well," I said tiredly, "maybe go back to sleep and give it some thought." I snapped my fingers and blinked out of existence.