Wendy's head tumbled to a stop. As her vision began to clear, a surreal landscape came into view - the beige carpet littered with body parts.
"Was that supposed to happen?" she said.
"Um…" Jenn's voice faded into a gulp. "No."
Wendy took a deep breath.
No, she didn't.
She'd somehow landed properly. The improbable odds of that happening sunk in first, followed by the absolutely absurd premise that every bit of her and Jenn's body had suddenly disconnected at the joints and gone scattering across the floor, which was very fortunately carpeted.
The Quwarayz Human Remote Control was still in Jen's hand, about two in front feet from Wendy's face.
"I'm sorry Wendy," said Jenn. She sure sounded sorry. She was just about to cry. Wendy almost felt bad for her. She could see Jenn's head from where she was. She'd landed on her cheek, and was facing the back of the sofa and very little else.
"Okay," said Wendy. The calm tone of her own voice was actually reassuring. That and Jenn seemed to be taking this far worse than she could. Perhaps a sob escaped.
"Just to review," she continued, "You said you had a magic remote control, whatever that is. I ask for a demonstration, and you push the huge red button. For a moment, nothing happened. And then all of a sudden, we fell apart."
"Yea," said Jenn.
"But we're alive."
"It's magic. They showed it to me at the store. They did it to me actually."
"And what happened?"
"My arms fell off."
"And you thought…"
"Well, I thought I'd make your arms fall off. But maybe I did it wrong? I don't know, I didn't even know it could do this much."
"Alright, this begs the question - what happened after your arms fell off?"
"The saleslady stuck them back on."
"Just touched them together?"
"Yea."
For a moment, the two of them were silent. Jenn had calmed down. Wendy had seen her head rising and falling as she spoke, and it gave her an idea.
"Hey. I can see the back of your head. If you can chin yourself around, we can face each other."
"Okay," said Jenn.
While Jenn's head made a rather arduous turn using only her jaw for movement, Wendy took a second just to gape at the absurdity of what had befallen them. First of all, just that the two of them were even alive in such a ridiculous state. Wendy was not the kind to believe in horoscopes or religion, let alone magic. And then suddenly there she was, confronted with the reality of it.
Secondly, she could still feel and more importantly she could move each disconnected piece strewn across the floor. Recognizing one of her hands, she was able to flip it over palm-down. She stood her hand up on its fingers. The alarming ease of this startled her into letting it flop to the ground again.
At last Jenn had managed to push her head most of the way around. Wendy caught her eye, smirking so as to repress the laughter that was building up inside of her.
A chuckle escaped her. Jenn smiled. At nearly the same moment, the two of them erupted into a minor hysteria if only to diffuse the absurdity of what had just occurred.
"Can you move?" asked Wendy.
"I can feel my hands and arms, but all I can see is one of my feet, and a leg," said Jenn. "I think I can squirm over there."
"Good. Try it. I've got a hand and an arm. I don't think they match though."
"Well, your arms were folded. Expressing your skepticism."
"Good enough. Will they still work?"
"Hopefully? I'm sorry Wendy!"
"It's… okay, it's not okay yet, but it will be. As long as you're sure, we just stick together again right?"
"That's what happened in the store?"
"And what store was this?"
"I forgot. Charleys something something. It was in the ghetto between a liquor store and a church."
"Alright, so it should just…" She trailed off, concentrating on her right hand. Once again it sprang to life, and she was able to drag it over to her disconnected left arm. Touching the wrists together, an odd sensation surged through her. It took intense concentration just to be able to move her newly assembled appendage, but after squirming for a moment it clicked for her and she had a functional arm a couple of feet away.
"Got it!" she said.
"Me too!" said Jenn. Wendy saw a foot pop into her field of view.
"That's my leg!" she said.
"Yea, they mentioned you could swap pieces with it."
"Oh?"
Wendy took a moment to inch her "backwards" arm over to Jenn's head and set it upright.
"Thanks. Okay. What next?"
"I can see one of my legs behind you. And one of … is that your feet? Move your toes! Yea, that's it."
"Okay, can you stick those together?"
"Sure? But then am I giving you my leg, or are you giving me your foot?"
"I don't know! Let's just build a body first, and then we can sort out who's is who's."
"Sounds good. Okay, just inch left a bit. Your other left. There we go. And -"
Wendy used her arm to nudge Jenn's foot up to where its ankle touched that of her own leg. There was a noticeable numbness coming from her "donated" legs. Jenn grinned at her.
"Okay," she said, "behind you I can see one of my arms. If you can find it with your hand… no not that way. There! Right in front!"
Wendy felt her hand close around skin. After a moment of struggling, she was able to twist her wrist around to face the stump of the foreign limb - a sharp tingling suddenly shot through her new arm as the connection was made. Wherever her left arm had been, she lost feeling in it.
"All right," said Jenn. "That's a start. What else can you see?"
"There's a pair of hips to your right."
"I can't see them."
"They're mine, I think. Behind you a bit."
"Alright. Can you reach them?"
"One sec. I can push your leg towards them a bit. There."
Jenn's leg, that is, Wendy's original leg, struggled for a moment, before meeting up and joining with it's proper hip.
"Wait," said Jenn. "I think I messed up. It's gone!"
"No, I have it," said Wendy. She grinned. Through whatever mechanism, she'd now taken over possession of the disembodied section, though she still didn't quite understand what was happening. But immediately her problem-solving instincts had kicked in and she'd attacked the problem as if it were merely a puzzle. How to re-assemble oneself when one is reduced to disconnected pieces? Well, you start with what you can, and move forward. Wendy now had two rather mismatched arms and a complete leg with a pair of hips. She began to work the three pieces together, towards where she could see them. It took a lot of grunting, and by the end of it she was sweating.
"You look like the worst frankenstein ever," said Jenn. Wendy had managed to pull her two arms to where they attached at her leg socket. She had then reached up and grabbing her head, she stuck the base of her neck onto the top of her waist where it held fast.
"I kind of can't believe this worked."
"I just wish I could get a picture of you right now."
"Oh please. At least I'm making some progress. You're still just a head!"
"And a leg!"
Wendy, now somwhat mobile, shakily stood up on her new body. She began to lurch around awkwardly, on one leg and two parallel arms, tossing any body parts she found towards the center. She then began to sort them out, into arms, legs, Jenn's hips, her own chest, someone's stomach. Finally, she had a nearly complete body, minus one arm.
"I'm amazed. You're my hero!" said Jenn.
"Before I put you together, I want you to promise me I'll get a turn with that remote."
"Awww…"
"Oh c'mon."
"All right. Guess I have no choice. And I'm sorry. But this is pretty cool yea?"
"Yea." Wendy beamed. Cradling her roommates' head, she eased the newly constructed body together. Jenn tensed, writhed, and thrashed for a brief moment before slowly sitting up, sans her right arm.
"Okay," she said. "That wasn't too bad. Now we just need to get everything else."