I still wasn’t sure how I felt about going out into the real world again. How were people going to treat me now that I didn’t have a head? Would my friends even recognize me? I doubted it. Thinking about that gave me a bit of consolation. At least nobody would know who I was. But why should I feel embarrassed?
There was some exit paperwork to fill out at the reception. I stopped to check out, and there was another girl in the waiting room. Have you ever blushed when you don’t have a head? The feeling was still there, around my neck and shoulders.
“And these too,” said the receptionist, handing me another stack of papers. Insurance of the head-unit. An agreement that I would come to 4 more appointments in the next two weeks. Would I like to join their email list. In medical emergencies, present this card to EMS personnel.
“Hey,” said the girl behind me. I turned, casually. Was she talking to me?
Yes, she was looking right at me. I froze up, unable to talk and not sure how to reply.
“Hey,” she said again, waving.
I waved.
“So this whole thing is for real, isn’t it.”
—Yes, it’s very much for real.
“I guess you can’t really talk, can you.”
Oh yea. The iPod. I took it out of my pocket and gave it to her.
—I can’t talk, but I can send text to this thing.
“Woah, that’s pretty neat. What group were you?”
—Group D. I guess you must be another volunteer.
“Yea. Group G. They said they’re going to remove my body, and replace it with a small robotic one. I was … I don’t know, I kinda wondered if they were joking.”
—I don’t think they are.
“Doesn’t look like it. Oh wow, I’m really going to … is it fun?”
I didn’t know what to say. So many questions about how I felt, how I thought of myself, but none of them had asked what might be the most obvious question about the whole thing, as crazy and weird and surreal as this all was — was it fun?
—Yea. At least, I think this will be pretty fun.
“Good. Cause I’m kind of nervous, but also, kinda excited you know?”
—Exactly.
“Alright, well, it was good talking to you. I’m Melissa.”
—Jess. Good meeting you.
I handed back the clipboard to the receptionist who smiled briefly and then went back to her game of solitaire on the computer. Then I turned and took my first steps out into public, sans head.

I had to drive home. Maybe there’s some law in this state that says you must have a head to drive. I wouldn’t be surprised. But I made it back just fine, taking my pendant and hanging it from the rear view so I could see over the steering wheel. I kept rocking around and a couple times spun around backwards. I’d have to find a better solution.
It was hard to say if anyone saw me, or if they just looked at my car. I certainly didn’t get the response I’d feared, with drivers swerving off the road in fear of the headless driving girl, children pointing, mothers aghast, mass chaos. Maybe they just got a glimpse and thought “Did I just see that? Nah.”
Of course, when I got to my apartment, it was more or less unavoidable. I got out of the car, the coast was clear. I started getting my things, and then I heard the creak of a screen door, and one of my neighbors walks out with a cup of coffee, his keys in his other hand. He sees me, turns away, and then as if just putting everything together right then, whips his head around. Just about broke his neck, his eyes widening.
I waved at him. Mutely, he waved back. Kinda cute, but absolutely dumbfounded.
I started walking back to my apartment, but then I heard his footsteps coming up behind me.
“Hold on,” he said. I turned around.
“You don’t have a head.”
I took out the iPod and held it up.
—You’re pretty quick aren’t you.
“Sorry, it’s just…”
—I’m kidding. I’m a participant in an experiment.
“An experiment. And they cut off your head?”
—Actually, yes they did. But see this necklace? It lets me see. And think. And hear.
“And you talk through an iPod touch. I’m just … at a loss for words. You must live here then.”
—Usually, I have black curly hair. I live in that unit right there. I’m Jess.
“I’m Tom. Well, I just needed to ahh… I don’t know. I’m sorry, I was just a bit surprised.”
—I have a feeling I’ll have to get used to it.
“Well, listen. Maybe I can make it up to you. Wanna have a drink sometime?”
—That’d be nice.
“Okay, well, I’ve gotta get to work. But I’ll come over and knock on your door, say, tomorrow night? Seven?”
—Sure. See you tomorrow.
What an odd turn of events. I opened the door to my apartment, my mind a blur of everything — had I just agreed to a date, tomorrow, headless? With a guy who’d never even noticed me when I actually had a head? And shouldn’t this freak him — and me — out just a little more than it was?
I decided a shower might be in order. I went into the bedroom and stripped down. So there I was, naked without a head. It was strangely sort of erotic to look in the mirror, almost as if I wasn’t looking at myself, but only a female body. I popped off my neck to have another look at my new mouth, but my head slid off without a neck to hold the string.
From up above in the closet I knew there was one of the those wig-things that you always see — we’d painted it like a clown for some kind of party a couple years ago, and now I was very glad I’d kept it. I held the pendant in my left hand and lofted it up to the high shelf — from there I could easily see where it was without having to take everything down.
I set up the pendant on the styrofoam head to give somewhere for my head to rest, then got to really inspect my mouth up close. It didn’t look very different. I think it was my real mouth. I tried, a couple times, to talk. Nothing. Not even a whisper. What did I expect, they told me that back at the clinic.
So, a shower. As I thought about, I might not need my head, but I kind of wanted to watch myself, so I brought the styrofoam bust into the bathroom, and put it on the counter so I could see in through the curtain. I got the water running hot, like really hot, almost too hot, which is just how I like my showers, and just let the hot water run over me. Like the best hug in the world. I spent at least twenty minutes in there, then toweled off — no blow-dryer needed! And my hair was perfect! I would have laughed about that if I could.
Then, in the back of my mind, I had this sense of… yes. That was it. A text message. I had a text message from my friend Dana, the one who had signed up for the experiment with me, the one who’d told me about the whole crazy thing. It said, “OMG you have see what they did to me.”
I send back a response, “Likewise.” My mouth, I noticed, was beaming with delight. I’d just received and sent a text with my brain. Welcome to the future, I told myself.
And then, from Dana, “What are you doing, you wanna get coffee.”
“Sure lets meet at cupa” was my reply. I got dressed again, putting on a summery dress, a pair of flip flops. Popped my neck back on and set my head back in it’s little perch, just above my boobs. Maybe that’s why that neighbor guy was so nice
It wasn’t far away, and I wasn’t really in the mood for trying to drive again. So I would walk over there, and who knows what might happen, but … well, I just reminded myself I was doing it for twenty thousand. And that it was fun. Two things to keep in mind.
It was a sunny day. I almost took out my sunglasses, just from habit, but then my cameras adjusted to the light and shaded everything a bit. I took a few pictures, just to see what it was like. Incredibly easy to do actually. Just click — and there it is, for you to view anytime.
I got around the corner of the block before cars started slowing down. Across the street, some guy at a bus stop stopped playing on his PSP to stare at me with a quizzical look. I was getting a sort of quiet adrenaline rush, enjoying and dreading the extra attention I wasn’t used to. I was not, exactly, unattractive, and I turn a few heads now and then, so it’s not something that’s completely foreign to me. But whether they were staring cause I was a freak or a bombshell, well, I guess the distinction was pretty obvious.
Twenty thousand dollars.
Man that’s a lot of money.
Then, out in front of the coffee shop, there was Dana. She looked, well, unchanged. Wearing shorts and a guys t-shirt.
No wait, I saw, zooming in. Something was weird. About the way she was standing, with one hand on top of her head. She hadn’t seen me yet, so I stopped for a second. She turned to look inside, and I caught sight of a strap, a leather strap, looking like it ran into her head somewhere amidst her hair.
She turned back to look out at the street, frowned, and then… well, she let go of her head. It toppled from her shoulders and she caught the strap that… well, I quickly noticed what they’d done at Dr. Svenson mad science laboratorium emporium. Her head was now a handbag. She unzipped the top of her head, reached inside and pulled out a cell phone, flipped it open and held the screen out in front of her face. Then she put it back in, set her hands on her hips and resumed waiting.
I came up where she could see me, waving. It took a moment before she noticed.
“Jess!” she shouted.
I just waved again. I was running out of greetings.
“Oh wow, you’re headless!” She ran up, her handbag bouncing along with her. “So am I, I guess, but it looks like they just…”
I got out the iPod and handed it to her.
—No head. Just this thing. I removed the pendant to show her.
“And you talk through an iPod! That’s awesome. So this is your head? It’s tiny.”
—Nice handbag.
“Isn’t this awesome? Look, it unzips here, at the top. But it’s even better — I can plug an mp3 player in here and it plays it right into my ears, without even headphones, and at the back of my mouth there’s a secret pocket. Obviously you’re not getting in there without me noticing.”
—That’s so cool. Can I hold it?
“Sure, here you go. And what about your head? Oh wow, it’s so light. So you must see out of these little cameras.”
—Yea. They even take pictures.
“Awesome. I think I’ll wear you.”
She put me over her neck so I was now looking at my own body, inspecting Dana’s head. The inside was soft, like calfskin leather, and her head really felt like, well, a bag and not so much a head.
“Oh, and you should see this too…”
She reached over to take the handbag, but instead of picking it up, pinched the bottom of her chin, then using the other hand she slowly peeled back her face. Again, that’s what happened. She peeled off her face, then spread it out facing her for me to look at.
“It’s kind of adhesive, so I can stick my face on my chest, stomach, anywhere.”
—You should stick it to your ass.
“I knew you’d say that.”
—Admit it, you already tried it didn’t you.
“Anyway,” she said, reattaching her face to her head. “You want some coffee?”

We took a table in their back patio. There was a nice breeze, and you could see into the park a little bit. The waitress came over with a … well, I wouldn’t say she looked confused. Maybe dazed. She glanced from one of us to the other, then kind of shrugged, maybe to herself, maybe just to say, “Fine, don’t have a head if you don’t want one.”
I had Dana order for me. Easier that way. Then I popped off my neck to show my new mouth. Stuck out my tongue at her.
“Ooh,” said Dana. “Kinda sexy.”
—I hadn’t thought of it like that.
“Oh come one. Of course you did.”
—Okay, a little bit.
“That reminds me, I’ve still got a trick left too. A big one, kinda. See this zipper?”
She turned and pulled down the back of her shirt. There was the start of a zipper just at the base of her neck.
“It runs the length of my torso. So what I can do is… Well I’ll just show you. That will be cooler.”
She first removed her shoes and set them aside. Then, she took hold of one of her feet, and began to twist it sideways. It looked almost painful, but then, with a “Pop!” it came loose. And her leg just sort of, well, it looked suddenly deflated, or hollow. Like a pant leg with nothing in it.
“They feel really cool like this,” she said, rubbing the fabric of her leg together in her fingers. I reached out to touch it - it was just like the inside of her handbag, leathery and soft.
The same thing with the other leg. She set her feet down next to her shoes.
“Okay, so then I just… Well it’s tricky. I might need your help on the second one.”
Taking her left leg she held it up and put her arm down into the “sleeve” created by her leg until it covered her up to her shoulder. I got up and helped her slide the other leg over her arm.
“Thanks. Okay, so I just have to grab hold and … There.”
Her whole body seemed to relax a bit, as if there was no structure to her anymore. The arm I was just holding became soft, like…
“I’m a backpack! See?”
—You’re like a complete luggage set.
I picked her up, easily. She was very light, feeling exactly like an empty bag.
“Isn’t it weird? I sort of feel like, oh I’m just an object now. But it’s just so weird that… Okay. Promise me this. You’ll take a trip with me.”
—And use you as my luggage?
“Yea! Listen, you can use my head too. As your purse. And I’ll be able to talk for you. Hey, maybe if we talk to the guys at the lab we can get them to link our brains up.
—Maybe if we plug the iPod into your “headphone” jack.
“Yea, try that.”
I opened her head up and rummaged around until I saw the jack. I plugged in my iPod and—
—Can you hear me?
“Yes! And it sounds just like your voice. Oh this is perfect. So let’s do this. What are you up to this weekend?”
—Nothing yet. Wanna head over to the beach?
“That’d be perfect. It’ll be so weirdo cool. I wanna be packed, but I can’t do it myself, so … okay. But wait. She’s coming with our coffees.”