I woke up with a jerk, and looked at the clock. It was 3:10. My class had started ten minutes ago. The facts of things around me fell into place - I was naked, and so were they. Amy and Emma, I mean. Their heads, which had been sharing Emma’s limbless torso for the best-part-of-my-day-so-far, had come free sometime when napping.
Class might have to wait. I closed my eyes again and lay my head down, realizing I was using Amy’s chest as a pillow.
But no. This was sociology. And if you went by the official records of the university, I knew about as much about sociology as I did showing up promptly to Room 214 of Wilson Hall, every Monday and Wednesday at three p.m. That is to say, I had to either show up, or retake the class.
Shit. Of course I’d missed the bus. Damn, damn, damn. But still, better late than - wait. I lunged for the watch and grabbed it off the bedside table.
I lifted my head to find a new scene. Me sitting between the girls, fully dressed, in the back row of the classroom. Nobody seemed to notice our sudden appearance from nowhere. Class was just getting underway - the instructor called my name and I raised my hand, ensuring good university standing for at least another week.
“Wha?” Emma came to beside me. “Where?”
“Class,” I whispered. I gave Amy a nudge. She startled up off her desk.
“Was I sleeping? I um… This isn’t my class. Hey— We were fucking.”
“Yea,” I said, trying to get her to lower her voice.
“Sorry, just… what are we doing here?”
“Woke up late. Had to get to class. Not sure how you two came along.”
“Because,” Emma yawned, “You wanted us here. Why is it we have to keep reminding you about this?”
“Cause he’s dumb,” said Amy. “Also, it’s pretty clear what he wants, even if he won’t tell us.” She ran her hands across her tits. All four of them.
“Cute,” said Emma, shooting me a good-natured reproachful glance. She uncrossed and then recrossed her legs. That is, the middle one crossed over from the left to the right. She calmly adjusted her skirt.
I tried to pay attention after that. For a couple minutes at least. Until I noticed the cute TA up at the front. Her name was Margaret, and she was one of the only reasons I still came to class at all, at least that’s what I used to encourage myself on my less-motivated days. Mid twenties, straight red hair, pretty freckles, and glasses that set off her personality very well. I’d been to her office hours once, ostensibly to find out some stuff about primitive small-scall human society and gender differences, but the main thing I came away with was the ability to pick her out of a lineup by her cleavage alone.
The instructor stopped his introductory notes. The TA stood up to talk about the last test. Amy giggled beside me. Did I mention Margaret was naked? No? Okay, well, she was, and had been for at least 30 seconds if I had to guess.
I’m not trying to hide this stuff or anything. Sometimes it takes a second before I even notice what I’m doing. And it’s not like I’m immune to the psychological whatever-it-is that’s stopping everyone else from freaking out.
Sorry to editorialize there. To jump back into things: Amy, four breats; Emma, three legs; Hot TA, naked. There we go.
I looked around a bit, almost nervously. Sure, I’d just slept with two beautiful women, and was currently in a fuzzy euphoria that I knew would last for days. But also, the instructor at the front of the class was about the most boring and forgettable teacher I could imagine. He went back to reading with his head down, talking loudly but not rhythmically, and ticking his way through some powerpoint notes that he would post on the website anyway.
“Hey,” whispered Amy in my ear. “I see you’re hot for teacher.”
I blushed a little bit.
“C’mon, you know you want her to be a little less… whole. Just think of her oh, without any arms.”
“You’re gonna get me in trouble,” I told her.
Emma shot us a glance.
“C’mon,” said Amy. “It’s not like you can stop yourself anyway.”
“Alright,” I said, sighing. “Sure.”
The TA, who sat up front with a notebook on her lap, dropped her pen. She picked it up again. Her predicament became clear, to her at least. Her hands and feet were switched. She tried to continue with her pen between her toes, but this proved too difficult. Soon she set her notebook on the floor and continued writing, seemingly undisturbed.
“That’s it?” said Amy, her voice getting louder. “C’mon, I know you’re thinking of something sexier.”
“It’s just…”
“Gimme,” said Amy, lunging for the watch. “You’re not using it right,”
“Nah,” I said, catching her wrist. I broke her arm off at the elbow. She pouted for a second before reaching with her other arm. I snapped it off at the shoulder, only to find her forearm was climbing up my shirt. I started to try and wrest it loose when she made a lunge with her other severed arm.
A couple people turned around. Emma suddenly grabbed the watch from my hand, where I was holding it away from Amy.
“Settle down you kids,” she said. For some reason, we did so.
I realized what had happened after a second. I didn’t have the watch anymore. I looked around - my changes from before seemed to be in place. Margaret was still naked. Emma still had three legs. Her arms were crossed, and she looked satisfied with herself, looking curiously at the watch.
But Amy - there was something different about her. I can’t say why it took me a second to realize, but it was right there, where her shoulders ran smoothly across into one another. I looked at Emma and back at Amy and then felt my own “head” - or where it once was. My hand passed right through my field of vision and into empty space.
I could still see. This puzzled me. I could still hear. I tried talking, but nothing happened. So this was it. We were headless. So this was what it was like.
I nudged Emma. She turned to me, and raised an eyebrow. I pointed to my head.
“Yea, well. You two were making a ruckus. You’ll get them back at the end of class.”
You sound like a teacher, I thought. Of course I had no way to say it. I got out a pen and wrote it in my notes, then tapped it and showed it to her.
She smiled. “That’s how my classes would work. Act up again and I’ll take your legs.”
I turned to ‘face’ Amy. She’d somehow become comfortable with what was happening - maybe her time as a separate head and body had contributed. I was still a bit weirded out, but not panicked.
I wrote on my notebook, Hey, nice shoulders.
She took my pen, and wrote Thanks. Isn’t being headless fun?
-I don’t know yet. What’s fun about it?
-Well, for one, having sex when your head and her boyfriend just sit there and watch.
-I guess that could be fun.
-Well, we did do this to Emma. So we deserve it.
-Well, you did it, sure. And then you donated my head.
-Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it. Or like you’re not enjoying these. She caressed her extra boobs again. You know, she kept writing, I really like how I look right now. Do you think I could stay like this all the time?
-If um… you want to, that’d be cool.
-Haha. You should have seen your pants just then. But okay. I can go headless in my everyday life. But you have to do something for me, okay?
-What?
-You have to fuck my brains out when we get back, cause she got it twice in a row while I got to either watch and give head, or do all the work and then get used as a pillow.
-I’ll address your concern as soon as is practical, Ma’am.
I turned to Emma. She had looped the watch through a necklace she’d been wearing, and appeared to be watching the lecture.
Hey, I wrote, All I had to do was attendance. Can you poof us out of here?
She snatched the notebook from me and flipped the page, re-reading the dirty talk between Amy and I, pausing to shoot us nefarious glances.
“Insolence,” she finally said, in a sarcastic tone. “If this was my class, I’d vanish both your arms and legs and make you both just sit there. And I’d do the same thing for each class.”
-I’d flunk the exam.
She shook her head. “Okay, we’ll go, cause I already aced this shit anyway. But first I’ve a few things to do.”
She got up and very smoothly slid her hand down my pants. She grabbed a hold of it, and then everything suddenly went dark.