Birthday

The whole thing started with the Very Special Birthday Magic Kit! that Amy brought back from that weird magic store way out across town. The Charlie’s place. She got it there, so we knew something crazy was going to happen, but it was Cary’s birthday, and she was of all places, at school, at the lab, so we decided it was imperative to make her party.
In any case, the box said everything was in there, including instructions and even a catalogue. So we tore into it, me, Amy, and Melinda. Inside, there were three bottles, a booklet of instructions, and a box labeled “Balloons.”
“Thanks for buying the Very Special Birthday Magic Kit!”, read Amy out loud. “Please read this instruction booklet as this kit does real magic. Be prepared.” We all giggled.
“For this kit, you will need three volunteers to assist with the preparation. Each of them should drink their bottle – which are labeled cake, piñata, and punch. Do not mix these. Only one per person. When ready to begin, turn page.”
“Should we decide who is what?” I asked.
“Yea, probably,” said Melinda. “I want cake!”
“I’ll take piñata!” I said.
“Well, I suppose punch isn’t bad.”
“Once the order is decided, all three participants should drink their potions – ooh, potions – and prepare for the … transformations?”
Melinda smirked and without hesitation, uncapped the cake potion and drank it in two gulps. She slammed it down and said quite contentedly, “Cake.”
I followed, drinking mine, and Amy shrugged and downed hers as well.
“’Cake’ should keep to a surface where she or he can be served. Punch should sit in a punch bowl. Piñata should sit down. Remove any clothing.”
“Easy enough,” said Melinda, rooting through the cupboards for what the booklet had asked for. “Remove any clothing though? Really? Is that a joke?”
Before long, they were again sitting down, waiting for the transformations to being. Soon, the other girls would arrive, there would be 15 of them in all, and Cary didn’t even know the whole thing was coming. And the gift we got for her – wow, it was a good one. I was excited.
“So are we getting naked then or what?” said Amy, sitting cross-legged in the punch bowl.
“I guess we should.” I said, “I mean, you’re becoming punch, right?”
“I am?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t that what this does?”
“I didn’t know that! I’m going to become punch?”
“Relax, I’m sure it’s not a bit deal.” I really couldn’t think what she was so freaked out about. How would she buy it without knowing? We’ve both seen the kinds of things that come from that store, so what did she expect?
Piñata. I liked that. I wasn’t sure why I needed to be naked, but if the other two had to be, I guess it’s just for comfort or something. So we stripped, then it was just… waiting.
I think I was the first to feel something. My insides felt … like they were moving. Shaking. Then I started to feel sluggish. I gradually reclined, while the other two sat by their soon-to-be receptacles. Amy still couldn’t believe she was about to turn into punch, but she seemed okay with it. I told her we’d be sure to spike her.
“Oh, I feel something,” said Melinda. “But it’s in my neck.”
Amy picked up the instructions and looked at them again. “For punch and cake, the first step will be… detaching heads? Wait a second.”
Her timing could not have been better. She looked up to watch Melinda’s head topple from her neck, only to have her own follow by seconds.
“Man,” she said, “I should have read all of this first.” Melinda laughed.
“Piñata will begin to feel sluggish,” read Amy, adjusting the book so her head could see. ”This is normal. Arms and legs will both retract.”
As she spoke, I felt my shoulders … slipping into themselves. I looked down at myself and sure enough, my arms and legs were disappearing into me. In a moment, I only had hands and feet, and pretty soon, nothing. I was limbless.
“Cake,” read Amy, “should now lie down, as the body is about to solidify.”
Melinda lay flat on her back, on top of the table. Her head giggled as her skin suddenly took on the texture of frosting. She looked mouthwatering – had I any fingers left, I would have tried for a lick.
“Punch should simply stay in bowl.” Amy set the instructions down, only for her form to suddenly dissolve into fruity, pink-red punch, filling the bowl she was seated in.
Then all the others showed up, here and there. We opened the balloon box only to find candy and even more instructions. Seems that everyone else was supposed to eat a piece of candy.
When they did, wow, it was awesome. Their heads blew up into balloons! So we had all these girls there, with their heads in a bunch of balloons all floating at the ceiling.
Cary comes in, all tired and stuff, and is just, man, blown away. We start with some punch, even letting Amy’s head taste a bit of herself, then a lot of herself, then she’s pretty much smashed cause we dumped vodka in there.
Then it was my turn. I got hung from the ceiling, in a kind of noose, really. No arms or legs, still naked, just dangling there. When they shook me they could hear the candy inside.
The booklet made a suggestion for the piñata that instead of a blindfold we decapitate the birthday girl, so that’s what we did – Cindy snuck up behind her and sliced her head right off with a knife, then before she was ready, we gave her a stick, spun her around, and set her at me. She missed quiet a bit, mind you, and swinging a stick with the intention of breaking things is well, dangerous, so Cindy got whacked hard, would have been right on her head if it hadn’t been a balloon on the ceiling. Instead both her arms flew off. It was hilarious.
Anyhow, after a minute or so, she made contact, and man, I just … popped. I fell in half, then she swung again, and my head came loose from my neck, spilling candy everywhere. I was in like a hundred pieces. They swept everything but my head up, then we continued onto the cake, after replacing Cary’s head, admittedly backwards.
And from there it was all good fun – we had some delicious cake, some great punch, and Cary got her gifts, thanked us for a great time and left. This was where it dawned on us that we were all three reduced to essentially heads – Amy had been completely drank away, and Melinda still had her left leg in the fridge, and I was …. well, mostly just a bunch of bits of candy.
“So,” said Melinda, after a long pause. “Now what?”
“Well, uh…” Amy trailed off.
“’Uh’ what?”
“We uh… The Very Special Birthday Cleanup Kit is um… sold separately.”
“Uh-huh. Please tell me you bought one.”
“Well, see, it was erm… back-ordered.”