You laced up your tennis shoes. It had been a couple years since you had picked up a racket and even longer since a competitive match, but you and your sister Amy thought it would be a good way to get to meet new people and maybe some old friends. You’ve moved back to your hometown after five years in the big city, putting your degree to use and finally finding an opportunity to be closer to family.  Amy was about 2 years younger than you and had lived in the town after college, she was excited to have her brother back within driving distance.

She was in a social tennis league that played doubles matches on weekends and she signed you up right before you moved into your apartment a few days ago.  Hastily clicking through the paperwork and digging up your old trusty racket from your varsity tennis days this morning, you saw the team captain paired you up with one of Amy’s good friends, Kaely. While you hadn’t met her before, you felt like you knew her from your sister’s social media. Amy said she played with her in the girl’s doubles team and that she is a strong teammate with a competitive edge and quick backhand.

You made your way to the court, channeling your focus and quieting your mind ahead of the match. Coming into your tunnel vision was a 5’8" red head wearing a blue tennis skirt, your team’s designated color. You ease out of concentration and introduce yourself cordially, shaking hands and both connecting over your connection with Amy, talk about the weather, and other small talk. You look across the court to see your opponents in white, an older Lebanese woman in her late 40s or early 50s paired with a younger man about your age - so a mother & son pair. Sizing up the competition, you felt good about your prospects for winning. Kaely certainly looked like an athlete, the tennis skirt accentuating the curves of her thighs that led down to strong calves. Combined with your height at over 6 foot, you two had a wingspan advantage and overall youth edge over the other team.

After more introductions and during warmups, you strike up more conversation with Kaely as you bounce balls over the net.

“So, how long have you been playing in this league?”

“This is my second full year but my first season in mixed doubles, want to mix it up with the boys. I was playing singles and women’s doubles with Amy. Before that, a few years in high school before I hurt my ankle and decided to focus on school.”

“Cool, great. I used to play singles at Ridge HIgh and off and on in the city so apologies for my rust.”

“No worries! Amy said we would complement each other’s games so I think we roll with it and have fun! And PS I think we test the agility of the mom over there and see if the son is overaggressive on volleys.”

You agreed with her initial assessment. “Definitely, let’s use our endurance and be patient, we’ll pick them apart. Your backhand is probably stronger than mine, you want deuce side?”

“Yeah, I usually play that side with Amy!”

You and Kaely would start the match serving, after a rough double fault you find your groove and power some speedy serves through, earning two aces and a couple of soft returns that Kaely put away easily. A good start to the game. On the receiving side, you capably struck returns and groundstrokes, building confidence with each swing. Kaely was no slouch, with a backline game of laser precision, though maybe lacking your power, and quick acceleration to react to the ball. And, it was nice to see her bounce up and down, the sports bra bouncing and seeing the power in her legs, after a great point - Amy did have some cute friends after all.

Before you knew it, it was 5-1 in your favor in the first set. Kaely closed them out with well placed serves and you could start to sense some frustration on the other team.

“Nice job partner, you make it look easy,” Kaely said, toweling off.

“You too, you are getting everything on the backline.”

“Well, now we really see what we are made of, if we want to win. Do you want to play swapped or off?”

“What? Is that some local rule or something?” You’ve played tennis most of your life, and those terms were new to you.

“Classic Amy, she didn’t tell you?” Kaely chuckled. “I forgot you just moved back. This isn’t a normal league, look around at the other courts. It’s a Sliced, a magic league that helps even out advantages to make it more interesting.”

“Magic?”

“Well based on your response, we aren’t playing heads off. You need to practice it. Swapped it is. I’ll get the knife since I’m sure you haven’t pulled it off before, hold this,” and with a sharp tug, Kaely pulled her head clean off her shoulders and handed it to you! You almost drop your partner, but hold on to admire her freckles and soft features. She smiled at the confused look on your face. Her body was digging though her tennis bag, fishing out a 10 in machete looking knife that whirred to life with a red laser edge. “Stand still and focus on standing up, it won’t hurt.”

She took off your hat and held your hair, then cut though your neck like it was air. She was right, you felt an odd sensation but no pain and then you were a couple inches taller and lighter. You were lifted off your body! Your headless body leaned forward before you concentrated on standing, as you started to gain awareness of co-piloting your body. Her body then plops you on top of her neck and finally places her old head onto your neck. The mismatch from her fair skin tone was striking.

“Holy shit, I’m…wearing your body?” you stammer, opening and closing your hand without the knife and touching the front of your leg to feel that yes, you felt the sense of touch on your thigh.

“You got it, and have to say it’s awesome being a little taller and stronger. Though I’m not used to playing with some hefty weight between my legs!” she replied, trying to get a rise out of you. “Amy said you were a gentleman so I trust you to play nice,” she said with a wink.

With that you quickly removed your hand off your new backside, with a short laugh. “Take care of my body, it’s served me well.” With a pivot back to the courts you felt the skirt fabric lift up, and feel a bounciness to your movement, ripples moving up your new legs, hips and eventually breasts as you jog to your spot on the court. No wonder she could get everything, you thought, I feel so much lighter and quicker than in my old body.

But as you quickly found out, her arms, though toned, were not going to power any swings with the same force you had in the first set. Learning a new racket was hard enough, learning how to swing and move in a new body was another level. Your shots were hitting into the net more often, and some easy bounces your way were mishit or whiffed because you had shorter arms. Kaely’s serves now had too much steam on them and were out of control, though her play at the net improved thanks to your length. The tide had turned for the other team, as they found their confidence again and starting playing better.  It suddenly became 0-4 in favor of the mother-son team but you and Kaely didn’t let up.

After the game break, you grabbed water back at the benches.  The temperature was rising all morning and the hot summer sun was starting to bear down on the courts.

After a sip, you say, “Sorry I am not hitting as well as the first set, it’s all mental, it’s not this body.”

Kaely also apologized, “Yeah this is more difficult than I thought, trying to get my coordination and your power under control is a challenge. I’m not used to moving this big of a body - no offense.”

“None taken. Well I feel rude, here I am wearing your body and clothes and I didn’t even ask what you do or what you like to do.”

Kaely wiped the towel down her new arms. “Ha, no worries, I should’ve asked too but my mind was trying to keep this bad boy down, I don’t know how you do it,” she said looking down at her bulge. Your face turns a light shade of red. “Anyway, I’m doing some freelance work now and bartending at night which gives me plenty of flexibility. I convinced the manager at the bar to let my top half mix drinks while my bottom half walks over to serve them, but it makes taxes twice as long since my butt gets more tips than my head.”  You disagree, saying you’d definitely tip her head. And that if she needed help with paperwork, you were good with numbers.

“Thanks!” she said with a smile. “And on weekdays I have a walking service.”

“Like dog walking?” you asked

“No, leg walking. I started a service to walk the lower halves of people around town for exercise.  The people working from home still want to get their steps in and so I put leashes on their belt loops or around their thighs and walk them around town.  I charge extra if I have to clean up after them and you wouldn’t believe how, um, shameless people’s legs are when you take away their brains. I have to walk Mr. Smith’s and Mrs. Peter’s legs on different days because they try to go at it and I didn’t want to explain it to their spouses. And Robby’s legs are trying to be an alpha male and hump any legs on sight, so I have to really keep him on a tight leash.  But the pay is good.”

“Well no wonder your legs are in good shape then with all the walking. Maybe I’ll give your butt a tip too.”

“Not until the third date,” quipped Kaely with a wink. “Alright, let’s finish this set and regroup to win the third and final one.”

You and Kaely eventually conceded the second set, losing 2-6, so it was now a break for water and to sit on the shaded bench in the hot sun.

“Hey, do you mind if I take your body to the bathroom? I’ll be back soon” Kaely asked politely.

You said sure, no problem, figuring it wasn’t that big a deal. As she ran off, you made some small talk with the other team, telling them that you were new to all this since you just moved back to your hometown.  The lady said you were playing pretty well in a new body, and gave a quick recap of the years where you had been gone - no one knows if it was something in the water, a government conspiracy, or an alien experiment but years ago the citizens of the town started losing their parts. It seemed to only affect people if they were about 20 years and older, and the town quickly adopted to the new lifestyle. Some folks had some enterprising technology develop, like that glowing knife in Kaely’s bag for out-of-towners who want to fit in.

Kaely came strutting back after what seemed to be a long break, and you stood up to start walking on the court with her to talk strategy. You thought they should attack them more directly but as soon as you saw them take off their heads and place them on the bench, Kaely suggested making them work side to side to see how coordinated they are. “I guess it would be weird to wear your mom’s or your kid’s body so I thought they would play headless for this set. We might get bad line calls now but let’s push them.”

You agreed, and then you said to Kaely, “Hey um, I think you missed a spot…” pointing to the white and clear smear on the left edge of her lips and cheek. Her face turned redder than her hair. “Shit, um, well sorry. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity in case I lose my head. I mean it’s your fault, you bending over to pick up tennis balls was driving my body wild.”

You smirked at her, and disarmed her with “We need team chemistry after all if we are going to win this match. Not going to lie, looking down is a nice view from up top.” She laughed softly, her face starting to return to its normal shade. You then picked up on the other thing she said in passing. “Hold on, what do you mean in case you lose your head?”

“You didn’t read the waiver, did you? Winners get to take home a head of the losing team until the season’s over. In fact, I played your mom last season and had her head on my coffee table for about 2 weeks.”

Well that probably explained why Mom wasn’t answering video calls and had to cancel her trip into the city to see him before he moved. “So, what do you do if you don’t have a head and have to play?”

“New rules on that because of Amy. A couple seasons ago your sister and I were at a birthday party at the bar and stayed until it closed. We woke up realizing we had a match together and her drunk ass left her head at the table. The bar wasn’t going to open until 4pm so we would have to play without her head. Surprisingly, the other team wasn’t very good and Amy was playing well headless and covering up my hangover self. But when we got to the second set, we didn’t know what the rules were so we made her play topless to even it out.”

“You what?!”

“No not like that, get your sister’s boobs out of your head. I took her torso and arms off her body and wedged her racket between her butt crack and the waistband of her skirt. We had to concede her serves but didn’t matter because she was even faster without her chest and getting everything at the front net. And I mean this other team was bad, it was their first season. Now the rule is you take off your dominant arm and that is what the winner would take home if they beat you.”

You’d definitely have to ask Amy about this later but the other team was waiting on you to begin play. Teasing her one last time, “At least now you have a clearer, if dirty, mind to focus on the game. Let’s win this.”

***

After a hard fought set, both you and Kaely had too many off-center shots going wide or deep, and the other team seemed to almost play better without their heads getting in the way of their game. You lost 4-6.

“Now, time for the ceremonial Slice. Here’s your head back for the honors,” Kaely said as she took off her head and you did the same. You swap heads and while nervous about what was in store for you, you accidentally placed your head on backwards!  Kaely and the other team laughed. “Don’t worry about it, it won’t be on for long. Now, lean over the net. It’ll have a green laser glow so your body can be more independent of your head while you are apart.”

Sure enough, the son on the other team flipped a switch on the net and the green laser hummed. He turned to his mom and asked if he could have Kaely’s head - she agreed and said she’d take yours. You both bend over, awkwardly for you since you had to look up at the person about to cut off your head, and with a gentle push of the rackets on your necks and into the laser, your heads dropped to the ground.  You lost feeling in your body, as it was different like Kaely said. You saw Kaely get picked up by her ponytail, and she said that she hoped to see you around as the son walked off with his trophy.  The mom picked you up on the bench as she took off her tennis shoes, her socks, and then her feet. She reached into her bag and had another pair of feet in flip flops that she put on her legs. Stuffing you into the bag with her shoes, socks, and her playing feet, she zipped up the bag and starting walking to her car. It could be worse, you thought, as her sweaty big toe was pressed against the space between your upper lip and nose - it might be fun to be treated a little rough.

***

Meanwhile, Kaely’s headless body pointed to her phone as if to tell you to get yours out. Your body picks up on it and texts What do we do now? I don’t think I can drive home like this

She responds Yeah you’ll need a permit to drive headless. I’ll call your sister when we get to my car. I have to be at work in an hour, come on I’ll walk you back and she grabs your body by the hand and leads you towards the parking lot. She opens her door to the backseat and you hear an unzipping of a bag, followed by her voice. Her voice?

“Ah damn, looks like we lost. But who’s the cute headless guy you’re with?”

Her body just shrugs as if I’ll tell you once I put you on and plops a copy of her head, now with a braided ponytail, on her shoulders. “Oh, hey there you. I keep a spare in the back just in case I lose, sorry I didn’t have another one to lend you. I’ll call Amy to pick you up.”

You type thank you on the phone and wait while Kaely explains to Amy. After she hangs up, Kaely says, “I think you are getting your birthday present early, your mom and Amy pitched in to get you a gift card for spare parts so it might be good to get some extra heads for yourself. I’ve got to go but I had fun playing with you and I am going to tell the captain to keep us together as a pair. And, maybe this could be a good week to practice headless for you. Want to say, this Thursday?”

You give a thumbs up and then type, I had fun too! And if you don’t want to wait until  Thursday to have fuzzy balls in your face again, you have my number ; p 

Kaely laughs. “Flirty annnnnd funny. I’ll see you around soon.” With that, she comes in close for a hug, and now with the height difference eliminated, she gives you a light peck on your neck stump. You reflexively squeeze her tighter, including with the hand that was on the small of her back.

You wave bye as she drives away in her car, waiting for Amy. After ten minutes with you using your phone camera to take a look at your new headless self, Amy hops out of a ride-share car and teases,  “I thought you were good at tennis?”

Not as good as you with a racket in your butt apparently

“Oh my god Kaely told you that!? Well in that case I’ll make you play with one of my heads next time. But she did say she misses playing with your head, and well, your body. I’ll drive back, Mom’s going to get you sized up for heads tomorrow and I could use a few more hands while we are there.”