THE SHOW
By kodiak bear
It was a Friday evening and the theatre was packed. The stage was empty with the exception of a single bar stool and a microphone stand. From the audience there was a low murmur of talking. All of a sudden there was a flash of smoke and sitting on the chair with the microphone in hand was a male figure dressed in black. "Ladies and gentlemen", said the figure. "Welcome to the show. My name is K.J. and I will be your host and magician tonight." KJ got off of the stool and started walking to the front of the stage. "I will be performing my collection of stage illusions for you. They should all be different from anything you have seen before, however please forgive me if each and every one is not something that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat. I hope that walk away this evening entertained and, most importantly, amazed. Now on with the show...."
"We will start out with an example of how I prepare my assistants for the show. You might think that my assistants just head to their dressing room and put on their outfits. But as I mentioned earlier, we do things a little differently here." KJ turns to the side of the stage and says, "Could someone please bring Zoë out." Two assistants, Kathy and Margaret, bring out a large stool, top hat, and both escort Zoë onto the stage. Kathy is wearing a red opaque body stocking, a red ultra-miniskirt and pair of red five-inch stiletto heels. Margaret has on an identical matching pink set of clothing. Zoë is wearing a white sweater, jeans, and a pair of sneakers. KJ places the stool, which has a top that is only a quarter inch thick and three feet across, in the middle of the stage. "As you can see, Zoë is not wearing anything I would consider to be worthy of any magician's assistant," proclaims KJ. He takes the top hat and flattens the hat. With one hand he takes Zoë's hair, which has been fastened into a foot long ponytail, and feed it through a hole in the top center of the hat. "Notice that I have placed Zoë's hair through the top hat. I need the hat to be a little bigger for this illusion." KJ takes the brim of the top hat and stretches is a bit until the brim of the hat is about two feet across. "Now that is better. I will now proceed to make a little miniature dressing room for Zoë." KJ asks Zoë to step on top of the stool. He pulls down on the brim of the hat until it has reached the seat of the stool. All the audience can see is a five-foot tall top hat with a ponytail sticking out on top. KJ says "I did say that it would be miniature, now didn't I?" and begins to push down on the top of the hat. The hat gets shorter and shorter until the hat is back to it original height of one foot. KJ picks up the hat and Zoë is gone. "You might not believe that Zoë is indeed inside the hat." While KJ is holding the hat a hand and forearm come out of the bottom of the hat. The hand reaches outside of the hat and grabs a hold of the ponytail and drags it down the side of the hat until the arm and hair disappear inside the hat. KJ at that instant flattens the hat and pops it inside out to prove the hat is empty. "Now that we have out assistant in her dressing room we have to change her clothes." Kathy and Margaret bring out a table with some clothing on top. "The first thing I have to do is remove Zoë's clothes that she has on." While holding the hat KJ reaches in and begins to remove each article of clothing that Zoë was wearing the minute before - sneakers, socks, jeans, sweater and underwear. From inside the hat is heard Zoë's voice saying "KJ get on with the illusion I am freezing my you-know-what's in here." KJ then grabs pieces of new clothing off of the table and inserts them into the hat - a red long-sleeve leotard, white tights, black mini-skirt and a pair of five-inch heels not to mention a small makeup kit. He takes a large spoon and mixes the contents of the hat for a few seconds. KJ then places the hat on top of the stool and slowly raises the hat. As he lifts the hat off of the stool one can begin to see a pair of white legs with black heels. The male members of the audience begin to whistle. KJ then lifts the hat all the way up and the rest of Zoë can be seen wearing the leotard and miniskirt. "And that is how I prepare my assistant's for the show," states KJ.
"Well now that I have gone through the effort of dressing Zoë, how about I use her in another illusion?" The audience is all for the idea. Kathy and Margaret then wheel out a four-foot long cabinet. KJ opens the cabinet and asks Zoë to lie down inside. Before the top and front doors are closed KJ asks Zoë to place her feet in the bottom half of the foot stocks so that her feet and ankles are visible outside the cabinet, her neck in the bottom half of the neck stock so her head is visible at the other end of the cabinet, and her hands through two holes in the top of the cabinet. KJ then closes the top of the cabinet, which also includes the top half of the neck and foot stocks, securing them into place. "She looks comfortable in there, doesn't she?" says KJ. "But let's just make sure that she does not go anywhere." Kathy then hands KJ two pair of handcuffs. KJ places one pair on her wrists outside the cabinet and the other on her ankles outside the cabinet. KJ then closes the front door of the cabinet. Margaret then brings out a large cart with a dozen flat blades on it. "Margaret you want me to use all of these on poor Zoë?" Margaret nods with absolute certainty. KJ says, "As I always say, one needs to keep his employees happy. It is so hard to find people for this line of work nowadays." KJ takes the first blade and inserts it halfway down the cabinet, seeming to divide Zoë in two. KJ then inserts blades at four-inch intervals down to the head and foot of the cabinet. The last two go right at the very ends of the cabinet. Margaret is smiling with one of the ear-to-ear grins and Zoë returns the look with one of those you-just-wait-until-I-get-out faces. KJ opens up the side of the cabinet and all are able to see Zoë's body sliced into fourteen pieces. "Now for the little different aspect that I said we handle things around here," say KJ. He closes the cabinet door and grabs a hold of the bottom part of one of the blades breaking it off. He takes the handle of the same blade and breaks it off too. After removing the tops and bottoms of all the blades KJ says, "Now you are all wondering what I am trying to accomplish here. I am not quite certain myself, but whenever I do this during the illusion I wind up..." KJ then re-opens up the front door of the cabinet to reveal the cabinet it empty inside. Kathy steps behind and opens the back panel to the cabinet, allowing the audience to see through. Margaret comes over the cabinet and pushes on the top edge on the head side of the cabinet. The cabinet begins to collapse flat. There is Zoë's head and hand on top of the cabinet and her feet are hanging from the bottom. Zoë in her frustration kicks off one of her shoes and tries to pound her fists against the top of the cabinet and demands to get out of the cabinet. KJ says, "Now that the cabinet it flat I do not think, Zoë, that I can fix it. I am sorry but you will have to go off stage the other way." And with that KJ grabs a hold of her left foot and pulls it off of the bottom of the cabinet, dropping it into the top hat from the previous illusion. KJ then follows by taking her right foot and hands and placing them into the hat. Margaret rushes to remove her head and slam dunks Zoë's head into the top hat and immediately pushes the hat flat and tosses the hat off stage like a Frisbee. KJ and Margaret bow and then Kathy and Margaret clear the stage.
Kathy is seen whispering something into KJ's ear. KJ then turns to the audience and says, "Now I must apologize for the behavior of my assistants. From time to time they do play tricks on each other, or rather put wish to put one another into particular illusions. The last illusion was a prime example. I have been asked by Kathy to turn the table on Margaret and I only see if as being fair." Zoë walks back on stage wearing a white body stocking and silver metallic miniskirt with matching five inch silver stiletto heels. Zoë is bringing out what appears to be a large laundry press and her eyes are set on Margaret. Margaret knowing that her goose is cooked obliges and volunteers for the illusion. KJ opens the press and displays the flat interior to the audience. Margaret hops onto the press and lies down, allowing Zoë to place her braided hair into a hole in the bottom of the press. Kathy attaches a small six-inch curtain to the top half of the press. KJ proceeds to close the press on Margaret and steam begins to escape from the sides of the press. The press closes until the steam stops, at which point Kathy removes the curtain. KJ opens the press to reveal a completely flat Margaret, with the exception of her braided hair. Zoë lifts off the flattened assistant and giggles along with her revengeful glare. KJ then says, "Now again here is the different twist to the illusion." Zoë and Kathy begin to roll up Margaret sideways. When they are finished Margaret is no more than a five and a half foot paper roll with hair sticking out of one end. Zoë and Kathy then the roll up and begin to bring it toward KJ. KJ says, "Well I guess I am being asked to eat Margaret. I have eaten many things before, but never one of my assistants. So here goes nothing." With that KJ begins to swallow the roll. It takes a minute or two for the roll to be ingested. But with only the braid sticking out of his mouth, KJ struggles to get the hair into his mouth. It is not like one eats hair every day. Another minute passes and KJ finally is able to swallow all of Margaret. He walks up to the edge of the stage and takes another bow.
Behind him Kathy and Zoë are seen talking and then Zoë walks up to KJ and says, "KJ it is now our turn to be part of the action. We have a little illusion for you." Kathy brings KJ a small thin steel hoop, which is about two feet in diameter. KJ is not certain what he is supposed to do with this hoop and looks back at his two assistants. They ignore him as they clear the props from the previous illusion from the stage. KJ decides to entertain himself and places a foot into the hoop, intending on swinging the hoop around his waist. The audience begins to snicker and KJ is oblivious of what the audience is seeing. The audience is making comments about his foot. KJ looks down at his foot and it looks quite normal. The audience sees a five-inch blue pump and a slender lower leg clad in a blue stocking. KJ trying to figure what is audience is talking about decides to stick his hand down to feel his foot. While everything appears to be fine from his view through the hoop, the audience sees an attractive feminine hand emerge from the bottom of the hoop and connected to KJ's forearm. KJ is getting a bit flustered not seeing anything wrong. Figuring that the audience is somehow in on the gag he ignores them and places his other foot in the hoop and begins to pull the hoop up to his waist. The audience is staring and pointing at him, or should they say the bottom half of her. KJ begins to spin the hoop around his waist. While the hoop is rolling around his waist he catches a glimpse of the blue legs and high heels. In a mild state of shock he stops in his tracks and the hoop falls. There KJ stood with his short sleeve black polo shirt above his waist and a pair of rather attractive blue tight covered female legs. He turns behind him and sees Kathy and Zoë smile and wave to him. He says, "Ha, ha. You got me. I am sure that over the past few months I probably have deserved it. So what now?" Kathy points to the shirt. KJ shrugs his shoulders and figures what the heck and begins to take off the shirt. As he pulls the shirt over his head the audience is able to see the blue leotard underneath the shirt. When the shirt is completely removed there in place of what should have been KJ's head is none other than Margaret's. She then takes her bow and is joined by Kathy and Zoë.
The audience then request for KJ's return. Kathy answers, "Well what goes around comes around, I always say." She goes off stage and returns with what appears to be an old-fashioned coat stand, the pole with the hooks. In her arms are a hanger and some article of clothing. She addresses the audience and says, "KJ ate Margaret. So Margaret is now going to pass KJ." Zoë takes the hanger and inserts it into the neck opening of Margaret's leotard. Kathy asks Margaret to put on a yellow miniskirt, which has zippers along the entire length of both sides. Zoë and Kathy then lift Margaret up and hang her on one of the coat rack hooks. Margaret's stomach begins to bulge and shift around. She seems to express a little discomfort. From beneath Margaret's legs emerges a hand and part of a forearm. The hand then begins to feel around, first on the insides of Margaret's legs below the hem of the skirt, then on the skirt itself. The hand makes it way to one of the zippers and does the best job a single hand can do to unzip the zipper up about eight inches. The hand shifts over to the other side and unzips the opposite zipper the same amount. The hand drops down and tries to push one of Margaret's legs outward. The hand is no match for the larger leg and then starts to snap its fingers. Zoë and Kathy pick up on this signal and then each grab one of Margaret's legs and lift them up sideways a little above Margaret's waist level. The hand gives them the "ok" signal and retreats back up under the skirt. There is more shifting and movement in Margaret's mid section. She bites her lip and begins to moan. With that a pair of hands emerge from under the skirt. KJ's head and shoulders follow the hands. The audience is giving him support as he squeezes the rest of his body from under Margaret's miniskirt. After pulling his feet out KJ stands up and brushes his clothes off and takes another bow.
Zoë and Kathy are about to let Margaret down from the rack when KJ stops them and says, "While we have her up there we might as well get some more use out of her." Kathy then steps off stage and returns pushing a waist high pole on wheels. Attached to the top of the pole is a stock. With Margaret still hanging from the coat rack Zoë places the stock around Margaret's waist. Kathy hands KJ a steel blade, followed by a second blade. KJ proceeds to slide the blade into the stock, thereby severing Margaret in two. KJ begins to pull away the lower half of Margaret. KJ then says, "I have always felt that Margaret has stunning legs. What do you think Margaret? Oh, you have not had the chance to look at them closely. Well I can help out in that regard." KJ then rotates her bottom half and flips it upside down, so that her feet were facing upward. KJ then strokes her legs and says, "I told you that I 'felt' your legs were beautiful." Margaret does not look like she is finding the current situation humorous. "Well," says KJ, "if you can not appreciate what you have been given, then I will have to donate them to someone who can." With that KJ draws a curtain beneath where Margaret's lower half used to be and also beneath her upside down legs. No sooner had KJ released the curtain did he then swipe it away, revealing Margaret with a yellow clad pair of legs and another top half of someone hanging from what used to be her legs, also dressed in yellow. "Please allow me to introduce Amy to all of you." KJ announced. He rotated Amy so that she was right side up and next to Margaret. He then withdrew the blades from both Amy and Margaret, and also unhooked them from the stocks and poles that held their stocks. All take another bow and the audience gives them a round of applause. Amy and Margaret then clear the stage of the pieces of the illusion.
"Now I would like to change the pace a little and try something a bit unusual. You may have seen something similar to this but again I will add a little 'twist'. Please bring out the revolver." KJ asks Zoë and Kathy. The two assistants roll out another pole on wheels, however this one has a two and a half foot tube attached to the side of the pole. KJ lowers the tube and then steps inside the tube. There are some elastic caps on the ends of the tube that conform to KJ's body. Zoë and Kathy raise the tube until it is positioned over KJ's midsection. His legs below the knees and his torso above his ribs are visible. Zoë then introduces another tube section, which appears to be the same size as the one surrounding KJ. She moves the tube so that the end is against the side of the tube enclosing KJ. With a little help from Kathy she pushes the tube into and through KJ's tube. The audience can see right through KJ, and there seems to be no room for KJ's middle to have squeezed. Margaret is escorted over to the second tube and she slides into the tube, until her legs and chest are visible from both ends of the tube. Kathy and Zoë attach similar elastic ends to the tube. To the audience's surprise a third tube section is introduced. It is also placed against the junction of the first two tubes and, with a little more effort that the second one, pushed through the joint of the tubes. The whole apparatus is rotated so that the audience is able to see through the third tube. Amy is allowed to jump up and slide her slender figure into the third tube. Again the elastic ends are attached to this tube and KJ gives his approval. The whole piece looks like a giant jack from a children's game of jacks. "Well Margaret," KJ says, "I will give you a chance at getting your legs back. I guess you will have to see if luck is in your favor." The audience is a bit puzzled at KJ's statement. "As you all can see we have my upper and lower halves dressed in black. Amy has her yellow upper and blue lower halves visible. Margaret has her blue upper and yellow lower halves in plain view." Kathy walks out with two oval shaped blades. "Now you all will see why I call this the revolver." KJ says. Zoë inserts the first blade at an angle at the intersection of all three tubes. All three tube members all grimace a bit at the blades insertion. Kathy follows up with the second blade. Kathy and Zoë each grab the tops of two of the tubes. With a big sideways pull they begin to rotate the top halves while the bottoms are still. They continue to spin the top half until it picks up a good bit of speed and then they release their grip on the tubes. For what seem to be a few minutes the top halves of KJ, Amy, and Margaret spin like a roulette wheel. Slowly the contraption begins to decrease in speed until it eventually stops. With dizzy expressions on their faces, KJ, Amy, and Margaret try to stop the room from spinning. KJ says, "Well from what it looks like Margaret you may have had lady luck on your side." Lined up with Margaret's blue upper half appears to be her old blue legs. Lined up with Amy's yellow upper half is KJ's black pants and shoes. This leaves KJ's upper half with Margaret's yellow legs. KJ instructs Zoë and Kathy to remove the blades. KJ is eager to get out of the device. As he begins to pull himself out of the tube the yellow legs and feet begin to slide into the tube. KJ them pulls his new found attractive lower half out of the tube he remarks to the audience, "Now why do I have the feeling that I have been through this before." The audience claps and laughs in support. Margaret is next to extract herself from the tube device and is glad to have her whole blue self together once again. Amy seems a bit sore, as she has wound up with the short end of the deal walking around with KJ's lower half. She pauses to itch what seems to be an itch and raises up the black pant leg to scratch the hairy legs attached to her upper half. Zoë and Kathy wheel off the tube device clearing the stage.
KJ says, "Now, Amy, before you get all bent out of shape let me see what I can do. Please bring out a long box so I can divide Amy in two." Margaret, happy to be back together again, walks off stage and returns with what appears to be a box for a conventional sawing in two on wheels but without any openings at the ends for head or feet. KJ unhooks the latches holding the two halves together, separates them, and rolls them twenty-five feet apart. He places an elastic material cap on each open end. KJ then instructs Margaret on what steps are to take place next. "I will climb through the opening on the first box. Afterwards please have Amy insert her lower half into the second box. From there the rest should be obvious." KJ sticks his head into the elastic cap opening and begins to climb in. He is able to pull himself in until he reached the point where his attractive lower half starts. Margaret them helps Amy slide her lower half (or actually KJ's lower half) into the second box. She gets close to the midway point where KJ's lower half is completely inside the box when she gets stuck. "Margaret, it looks like KJ's half is longer than the box. What should I do?" asks Amy. Margaret indicates that she is going to help push Amy into the box. Amy pulls herself in as best as she can and with a little push from Margaret Amy is able to move in another inch, but she still has two inches to go. On the count of three Margaret puts her weight against Amy's shoulders and pushes with all her might. Amy moves those two inches and then some. She is pushed in up to her chest. Zoë shouts to come over and see the other box. Amy's old lower half in the other box has come back out of the first box up to the bottom of her old chest. The assistants all stand there waiting for the light bulb to go off above their heads. Kathy then decides to push the legs back into the first box a bit. As she pushes the legs into the first box, Amy's upper half comes out an equal amount of the second half. The light bulbs appear above all the assistants' heads. Margaret grabs the lower half by the ankles and begins to pull as hard as she pushed Amy's shoulders a few minutes ago. In doing so she pulls out the legs and as Amy's shoulder and head disappear into the second box they emerge from the first box, until she has been completely extracted from the first box. Kathy and Zoë open up the sides of two box halves and are shocked to find them empty. They are unable to figure out what to do. They decide to put the two halves of the box back together. They begin to roll the united box off stage when a hand emerges from a small opening in the top lid of the box. Zoë stops and lifts open the top of the box. KJ pops his head out and climbs out of the box. KJ bows and Zoë continues to take the box off stage.
KJ says, "We have included every one so far except for Kathy. Kathy if you would not mind." Kathy walks over. KJ says, "Kathy, you will need a change of attire." With that KJ is handed a set of hoops. He hands them to Kathy and asks her to place them above her head. She lowers her hands until the hoops are even with her chin. KJ asks her to drop one of the hoops. The bottom hoop falls and there appears to be an elastic material connecting the two hoops and surrounds Kathy. The bottom hoops rests at the top of her ankles. Amy and Margaret each grab hold of the bottom hoop. KJ begins to turn the top hoop. Kathy's head and hand turn round and round as the material between the hoops starts to twist like a towel being wrung out. After about thirty or so spins Kathy's mid section is no more than an inch wide. The twisted piece extends just about to each of the hoops. KJ goes as far as to pick up both ends and tie them into a knot. Amy hands KJ a pair of scissors and KJ cuts out the section from just below the hoop on the top to just below where Kathy's waist would have been, which includes the knot. KJ puts that section aside and pulls out another section out of his pocket. KJ attaches the new section to the stubs of the old twist. He rubs on the joints until they show no sign of being separate pieces. Amy walks out a child's sit'n'spin. KJ places Kathy's feet on the toy. As he lets go of her feet they begin to spin quickly under the force of the twisted material. Once Kathy stop spinning KJ asks her to drop the top hoop. In place of the torso of the red body stocking and miniskirt is a green leotard. Kathy's arms and legs remain clad in red.
KJ poses a question to Kathy, "How would you like to lose some weight?" Kathy indicates that she would not turn down any opportunity to shed a few pounds. KJ glances over to Zoë and she returns with the coat rack device from a few illusions ago and rolls it into center stage. Kathy allows the coat hanger to be inserted in the backside of the neck opening of her leotard. She is raised up slightly to place the hanger handle on the hook. KJ then grasps Kathy's right hand and, with one hand placed firmly on her shoulder, sharply yanks downward on her wrist. A short popping sound is heard. KJ then grabs her forearm and begins to twist her arm. It appears that KJ is unscrewing her arm as if it was made out of wood. After a few rotations KJ pushes her arm up into her torso. It does not take long before her entire arm has been retracted up into her body. Kathy has a shocked look on her face as she is now missing an entire arm. KJ then turns and proceeds to start working on Kathy's right leg. He goes through the same routine: yanks on her ankle, rotates her leg and then pushes her entire leg up into her leotard. Not a minute passes and KJ has performed the same steps on her left leg, leaving Kathy with only her left arm. She makes a little attempt at protest, stating that she last lost enough weight. KJ pretends to ignore her and works on her remaining arm. Once he finishes with her left arm, Kathy is hanging there with only her torso and head. KJ presses on her torso to show the audience that there is indeed nothing hiding in her leotard. KJ gives a final look at Kathy and firmly places his hand on her head and starts to twist her head. After a few turns he puts both of his hands on her head and pushes her head down into the leotard body. Completing his task he removes the leotard torso off of the hanger and shakes it in front of the audience. KJ makes a joke, "Talk about wasting away to nothing." KJ then takes the leotard body and turns it inside out and places it back on the hanger. The green leotard has become a purple torso. "We have said goodbye to Kathy and now should introduce another of my lovely assistants." With that he begins to rub clockwise on what would be the left breast of the leotard. Slowly a pink tight covered foot and leg emerge from left leg opening. Stopping and rub the same breast section the opposite way causes a hand and pink covered arm to emerge from the left arm opening. "Pretty cool, huh?" remarks KJ. He turns his attention to the other theoretical breast and rubs the material in both directions, and as expected the corresponding right left and arm appear. "Now for the head." He places both hands on the bottom seam of the torso and he tenderly caresses the lower area of the leotard. Rising out of the neckline is the head and neck of another assistant Adrienne. KJ and Amy assist and help Adrienne down off of the coat rack and remove the hanger from her backside. Adrienne takes her bow and helps remove the equipment off stage.
Zoë walks off stage and returns with a large twister illusion. She volunteers to hop inside the contraption, exclaiming her readiness. KJ starts to turn the crank and around and around she turns. As expected when the device stopped and KJ opens the front panel Zoë is rather twisted up. Zoë seems quite happy to participate in a simple safe illusion. KJ closes the front panel door and starts to turn the crank in the opposite direction. He pauses, as the crank seems to be stuck. He puts a little more effort into it this time, yet is not able to turn the wheel. "There must be something jammed on the inside." KJ opens the front panel door and reaches inside to feel around for whatever may be stuck in the gears. Margaret sneaks over and pushes KJ inside the twister box and quickly closes and latches the front panel. She gives the panel a swift tap with her hip and is able to turn the crank. KJ is now trapped inside the box with his feet along side of Zoë's and his head inside the box. With the crank turning Zoë is hopefully returning to her normal self. Margaret pauses to open up the panel door and there is KJ wrapped around Zoë's torso. It has a cool appearance with KJ's black outfit as stripes around Zoë's white body stocking. Margaret closes the panel door and begins to reverse the crank. After a few cranks the handle stops abruptly. Margaret gives the box another one of her hip taps and gives the handle another try, but it will not budge. Puzzled she dares to open up the front panel. As she opens it up she sees the half-twisted mess inside. Neither KJ nor Zoë is apart, as they are joined together like a loosely wrung out towel. KJ and Zoë both are able to stand up on their combined four feet and they are also able to look around as their heads are not rolled up in the twisted section. Adrienne walks up to Margaret and suggests, "We need to attempt separating them by some other means." Amy joins in as they pull out the pair from the box. Adrienne returns from offstage with a thin cabinet. They open the cabinet and place the pair inside. They place each head out of the top of the cabinet - KJ on the left and Zoë on the right. Likewise they place both pairs of feet out of the bottom of the cabinet - KJ on the left and Zoë on the right. Amy brings out a pair of five-foot long blades. It takes all three - Margaret, Adrienne and Amy - to insert the blades lengthwise down the middle of the cabinet. Having placed the blades into the cabinet they split the cabinet into two narrow pieces. Amy and Adrienne then start to spin KJ's and Zoë's heads. Margaret takes an occasional peek into the cabinet sections to determine when the head spinning can stop. Satisfied that the twisting has been undone she opens each section to the audience. KJ and Zoë look like prison inmates with their broadly stripped black and white outfits. It seems that when they were split they were given a few pieces of each other. KJ has his head and neck, Zoë's chest, his abdomen, Zoë's hips and miniskirt, his lower thighs, her knees and upper calves, and his feet, not to mention one of Zoë's arms. Zoë has the balance of their pieces and parts. Margaret laughs at the sight and attempts to apologize for their present situation. Adrienne comes up to Margaret this time and suggests the way that KJ and Zoë could have their bodies restored. Adrienne returns with a peculiar contraption. It consists of a large six-foot tall cabinet. As she opens the cabinet there is pole running through the center from top to bottom. Adrienne turns the cabinet around to show that there are two panel doors - front and back. Adrienne then requests that KJ and Zoë each step into one of the doors with their backs to the pole, their heads and feet remain visible as the doors do not extend the full length of the cabinet. Adrienne then begins to insert pairs of blades into the cabinets at all the points where KJ and Zoë were merged - neck, chest, waist, mid-thigh, knee and mid-calf. Adrienne then asks KJ and Zoë to stick out their arms through holes in the side of the cabinet. Adrienne then straps on a couple of splint type pieces that attach to the sides of the cabinet. Zoë places her arms on one side of the splints and KJ has his on the other side. Amy rolls out a cart topped with a number of blades. Adrienne begins to insert them on both sides of the cabinet - double blades are placed at the neck, chest, hips, mid-thigh, knee, mid-calf locations. Having inserted all the blades, Adrienne then takes the section containing Zoë's feet and gives it a little push. The section begins to rotate around, giving the audience a glimpse of KJ's feet before it turns further and returns Zoë's feet lose to their original position before the push. Adrienne looks at the audience and remarks, "Want to have a little fun?" Having said that she begins to give all the sections large pushes and they each start to spin - some in opposite directions. Adrienne also spins the arm sections around. After the spinning has ended Adrienne notices that KJ and Zoë are quite dizzy and indicates that she will not spin the head sections any more. She does however jokingly rotate the sections around to give the audience some humor - she gives KJ all of Zoë's body except for her head. KJ begs to be back to normal again. Adrienne acknowledges that she has had enough fun and turns the head section one last time to put the heads on the right bodies. Amy assists as the blades are all removed. KJ and Zoë step out of the cabinet and are both glad to be back to themselves once again. Margaret then clears off the stage.
KJ looks at his assistants and asks, "Anyone up for volunteering for the next illusion?" Amy walks forward to KJ and states that she is up for the task. KJ turns to Adrienne and asks her to bring out the bag. Adrienne returns with a cloth sack shaped like a large punching bag. KJ asks Amy to bend over and touch her feet. KJ then takes the opening of the sack and begins to pull it down over Amy's bent body. He is able to lower it down to Amy's neck and ankles. Adrienne walks out with a cart with a tall pole and hook on it. KJ turns the bag right-side up and says "Now, Amy, we can not have you looking, can we?" Although it is a very tight fit already, KJ is able to push and squeeze Amy's feet into the bag. With considerable more effort he pushes Amy's head into the bag. KJ then takes the ropes that surround the opening and pull the top closed. Margaret then helps KJ lift the bag onto the pole hook. It does look like a punching bag. "It would be easy to get a few shots in, take a couple of punches. But that would not be magic. I will give the audience three choices as to what we will do to Amy. We can either 1) stab a number of swords into the bag or 2) take some wire and tie off sections of the bag. What will it be?" The audience then calls out their requests. KJ polls the audience a second time. KJ says, "Well it looks too close to call? I guess that we will have to let Amy experience both of them." A loud murmur is heard from the bag. So Margaret brings out a cart with lots of swords on it. KJ first takes some wire and begins to wrap it around the middle of the bag. He then begins to tighten the loop around the bag, which starts to constrict the width of the bag. When the middle of the bag is a couple of inches across, KJ stops. He takes another two pieces of wire and wraps them around the bag halfway from the first wire to the top and halfway from the first wire toward the bottom. He takes his time tightening these two. The bag almost has the appearance of one of those balloons that clowns make animals out of. KJ then takes the swords and begins to insert them at random into the bag. After twenty of so have been pierced the bag, KJ decides that Amy has had enough. KJ pulls them out one at a time and also removes the wire ties. When KJ loosens the strings and opens up the bag he appears shocked as he spills the contents of the bag - a number of pink and purple rags matching the colors of Amy's outfit. KJ then says, "I guess that we poked and squeezed the bag too much. I guess that we will have to be extra careful and perhaps she might return." KJ stuffs the rags back into the bag and gently closes the bag. He hoists the bag onto the hook. KJ brings down the bag and gently opens up the bag to see Amy pop her head out of the bag. KJ helps Amy out of the bag and apologizes for what had just happened to her. KJ says, "Let me make it up to you."
KJ brings out a bunch of zippers. KJ takes a sweatshirt hood and attaches it with to the top of her leotard. He brings up the hood over her head so that her face only shows. KJ also hands Amy a pair of purple gloves, which she puts on over her hands. KJ takes out a zipper and presses it against her inner left thigh. KJ takes another zipper and attaches it to Amy's outer left thigh. KJ zips down each zipper and proceeds to stick his hand through the opening on the outside of her thigh and out the opening on the inside of her inner thigh. KJ then pulls out his hand. KJ places another pair of zippers a few inches below each of Amy's breasts. Likewise two more are placed on her back opposite the previous pair. Unzipping all four zippers KJ takes both arms and reaches through Amy's back and out her chest. For a little comic relief KJ brings both hands upward a little and caresses and squeezes Amy's breasts. KJ takes both arms out of Amy. "Now for something a little bigger." KJ says. KJ closes all six zippers and peels them off, leaving no signs of any opening. KJ turns to Amy and pulls on the hood drawstrings, causing the front opening to reduce to an inch. KJ takes a long zipper and places it around Amy's waist. KJ then opens the zipper. A short blast of hot air escapes and the shell of Amy collapses onto the floor. KJ says, "Do not worry. I said that I would make it up to her. So I will take Amy's petite five-foot frame and give her a little boost in the height department." KJ calls over Margaret, who is an inch or so shy of six feet tall. He has Margaret take off her shoes, which KJ tosses offstage. KJ gives Margaret what used to be Amy's lower half and asks her to put it on, which she does reluctantly. KJ hands Margaret what used to be Amy's upper half and Margaret pulls it over her head. KJ then takes and pulls the two halves of the zipper around Margaret's waist together and closes them. KJ whispers loudly, "Good bye Margaret." KJ then peels off the zipper, leaving no trace of there ever being two pieces. KJ then loosens the hood drawstrings and pulls the hood off. To the audience's surprise Amy is alive and well in her new six-foot voluptuous body. KJ faces the audience and says, "I would like to show you the latest is costume changing technology." With that Zoë pushes out a couple of five-foot tall hollow cabinet frames. Attached to each is hose similar to those tubes that bank tellers use to send and receive money to you when pulling up to the drive through. KJ says, "A person steps into the frame. The tube sends a poster of an outfit from the neck down. The poster bottom automatically lowers down in front of the person. The costume can be seen on the front of the poster. There is a short flash of light and then the poster bottom rises revealing the outfit on the person. It can work on any person with any outfit. If a number of posters are loaded into the tube then the sequence has to run through all the posters. I will ask Adrienne to join myself in a demonstration." Zoë brings out a small box of posters marked male and female and proceeds to load them into each of the tubes. KJ and Adrienne walk back and step into their cabinets. There is a locking stock that is placed and secured around each of their necks. Zoë pushes the button to start the machine up. The posters begin to lower themselves in front of KJ and Adrienne. The audience snickers a bit and then quiets down. There is a flash of light and the posters begin to rise up. Adrienne is standing there in a tuxedo looking rather masculine. KJ is slightly embarrassed as he notices that he is dressed in a slender red formal gown with sheer white hose and five-inch pumps. KJ turns to Zoë and says, "You have put the posters in wrong tubes. Now Adrienne and I will have to wait until each costume change is done. By the way, Zoë, how many changes are there going to be?" Zoë replies that there will be four. Zoë pushes the button again. The posters lower again and as they rise Adrienne is dressed in a football uniform, pads and all, showing off her hairy calves. KJ, as one might expect, is dressed in a cheerleader uniform with the cute miniskirt and matching pom-poms. KJ just can't wait to get this over and indicates that another button push would be helpful. Zoë goes over and hits the button a third time. As the posters rise Adrienne is dressed only in a Speedo bathing suit and the female in the crowd applaud the hunk of a body Adrienne is attached to. Complimenting Adrienne is KJ's two piece bikini, which shows off his slender petite feminine body. KJ is truly turning red over this one. Zoë senses this and hits the button for the fourth and final time. As the posters rise Adrienne is wearing a black short-sleeve polo shirt and matching nylon running pants, which is similar to what KJ had on at the beginning. KJ is revealed to be wearing a sheer black body stocking and matching five-inch heels. Zoë realizes that she will have to come up with a way to swap bodies or else KJ might have her head. Zoë asks Amy to help her as she inserts blades into the neck stocks restraining KJ and Adrienne. Zoë and Amy each pick up a head and walk over to the other cabinet, setting the heads down carefully. Zoë slides out the blades from the stocks and unlatches the stocks that were around KJ and Adrienne's necks. KJ and Adrienne then step out of their cabinets and all take a bow.
KJ walks out to the front of the stage and says, "Well we are nearing the end of the show. I will begin to wrap things up. We will have one final illusion for each of my lovely assistants before we say goodbye to them. We will start with Zoë." Amy walks out with a five-foot hollow cabinet looking tubular frame. KJ asks Zoë to step inside the frame. Her head is able to stick out the top of the cabinet. Her feet and ankles are below the bottom of the frame. KJ asks Zoë to stick her arms out of the sides of the cabinet. KJ then flicks a switch on the back of the frame. Instantly an elastic material closes the opening on all sides of the frame. Zoë's head, hands, and feet remain visible through openings in the material. KJ flips another small switch on the back of the frame and a small noise is heard almost like an air leak. KJ says, "Well the frame that Zoë is inside will slowly shrink until I flip the last switch back. It may take some time so we might as well move on to another illusion. So don't go anywhere Zoë - I will take care of your small problem in a bit."
KJ says, "Amy, if you would not mind. Your turn is up." Adrienne walks out with what appears to be a suit of armor, yet it is clear and without any coverings for the head, hands, and feet. KJ opens the suit as it is hinged on one side. He escorts Amy into the suit and he closes the front side of suit. KJ attached a pole to the upper back of the suit and places the other end onto a plate on the floor. KJ says, "Well I could just love you to pieces, and so I guess I will." Adrienne then brings out a cart covered with a number of double blades of various sizes. He begins to insert them in one pair at a time. He starts with her left hand. He pulls her left hand off her body. Adrienne is quick to rush out the top hat from the beginning of the show. KJ then drops the hand into the hat. He proceeds to insert blades and remove Amy pieces by piece, placing each one into the hat. He pauses to give Amy a small rest, already missing both of her arms and one of her legs up to her knee.
KJ then turns back to Zoë as the frame, which used to stand at about five-feet, is now about half that. The frame has also narrowed to around a foot wide. Zoë's expression is that of someone who truly is getting squished. KJ says, "It will not take that much longer. Hang in there Zoë."
Returning to Amy, KJ then continues to dismantle Amy. He finishes on both of her legs and eyes her torso. He inserts more blades and begins to remove her lower torso in about four pieces. Amy is now nothing more than a head and her chest from the breasts up. KJ cracks a wise one by saying, "What a bust, huh?" KJ inserts the final pair of blades and removes her head from her shoulders. He pauses as he places her head onto the cart that had held all the blades. He takes her upper chest and drops it into the hat. Giving Amy one last look he picks up her head and with a single kiss drops her head into the hat. KJ takes the hat and turns it over, shaking it to show that there is nothing in the hat.
KJ says, "Before we begin with Adrienne let us return to Zoë and her small problem." Zoë, at this point, is in a frame that is only a foot and a half tall. The cabinet is a mere eight inches wide. There is no longer room for both of her feet to stick out of the bottom and KJ lifts the frame off the floor and pushes her left foot up into the frame. KJ then places the frame back onto the floor.
KJ asks Adrienne to bring out her illusion. She pushes a large cylinder onto the stage. KJ points out that this container holds liquid nitrogen as he wishes to freeze Adrienne from the neck down for her finale. He places a clamp onto her ponytail and a small hoist lifts her body up into the air. KJ maneuvers Adrienne over the cylinder that has fog pouring over it top. He lowers Adrienne into the tank up to her neck. He raises her out of the tank and her black-clothed body is motionless. KJ leaves her attached to the hoist and peers over at Zoë.
The frame around Zoë is only a foot tall and about still around eight inches across. KJ picks up the frame again and pushes each of her hands into the frame. This now leaves her with only a foot and her head. KJ says, "Just to prove that she is still in there." KJ pulls on her right foot and pulls it away from the frame. KJ pulls her entire leg out of the frame up to her mid-thigh. KJ then nods at Zoë and says his good-bye. KJ places a couple of fingers on the top of Zoë's head and pushes her head into the frame. He then pushes her right leg up into the frame, leaving her foot still visible. Having done that he walks the small frame over to the hat and drops it.
Adrienne is still hanging motionless as KJ reveals his plans for her. KJ says, "Well if you notice Adrienne is wearing a sheer black body stocking, so I figured I would turn her into a full size black light. He then returns from off stage with five red neon tubes. He turns the knob on the first light and it lights up. He opens Adrienne's mouth and inserts it like a sword swallower might at a circus. As soon as the tube reaches the bottom of her neck the glow can be seen through her body stocking. He inserts the tube as it continues to lower down into her left leg stopping when it reached her foot, leaving her entire leg glowing. KJ proceeds to insert the four remaining tubes - one in her right leg, each arm and one down her torso. KJ says, "Well Adrienne has two strikes against her - the fact that she was dipped in liquid nitrogen and that I said she would be turned into a light. Well I am going to give her the third strike." With that KJ takes a small metal rod and hits her left leg. It shatters into a hundred pieces. A few more blows and Adrienne is nothing except for her head hanging in the air. KJ brings out a broom and a large dustpan and sweeps up broken body and dumps them into the hat. He takes down her head and places it into the hat.
With one final bow to the audience KJ runs over to the hat and proceeds to dive headfirst into the hat. A small puff of smoke and the hat disappears and a second later a large flash clears the entire stage. From somewhere in the theatre is head a loud whisper from KJ saying, "I hope that you all enjoyed THE SHOW."
KJ THE END