Dr. Teevy, a medical researcher of The Institute, readied his examination room. He had received word from Director Forrester that he was to perform a confidential examination on one of the doctors from the Research and Development division, Dr. Emma. Though he hadn’t met her personally, as their departments were in separate buildings, he had heard of her as she had gained a reputation as one of the Institute’s brightest minds.
The director was vague on the details, merely saying that Emma had a mishap while testing a teleportation device on herself, and that he was to speak of this examination to no one but the director. With his preparations complete, he sat in front of his computer until he heard a knock on his door.
“Come in,” Teevy said.
The door swung open, and a young woman with light brown skin appearing to be in her early 20’s walked in carrying a duffle bag. She seemed far too young to be a long serving member of the Institute, but to not be presumptuous, he asked, “Are you Dr. Emma?”
Before the woman could answer, he heard a voice from the bag, “I’m in here!”
“I’m her assistant, Laetitia,” she said.
Teevy’s face contorted into a perplexed expression as he watched Laetitia set the bag down on the examination table, unzip it, and pull out a living, disembodied head. His face switched from confused to shocked. In his decades of medical research, he thought he had seen it all when it comes to disfigured and mangled people, but seeing a bodiless head smiling and blinking at him was a first for even him.
“A pleasure to meet you, Dr. Teevy,” Emma said, her head resting in Laetitia’s hands, “I’d shake your hand, but, you know...” Laetitia rolled her eyes, wondering if Emma would ever get tired of the corny jokes.
“How are you alive?” Teevy asked, bending forward to get a closer look at Emma.
“That’s what we were hoping you could figure out.” Emma replied.
Teevy took a deep breath and remembered that he was a professional. He straightened up his posture and said, “Laetitia, was it? If you could place Emma on the table, resting on her cheek, I would like to check for a pulse.
While Laetitia did so, Teevy put on a pair of latex gloves. At least it was now obvious why the director was so adamant that this examination remain top secret, he thought.
“Just be quick about it, laying on my cheek like this feels so undignified,” Emma said, wiggling her neck stump slighly and causing the layer of tissue paper spread across the table to produce a light crinkling noise.
Teevy firmly placed his index and middle finger against Emma’s neck, finding her carotid artery, and even more surprisingly, a pulse. He kept his finger on the artery and looked at the watch on his other wrist to count the seconds. On Emma’s end, she usually enjoyed human contact while just a head, but this touch was not as enjoyable than being held by Laetitia or even Director Forrester. Perhaps the latex gloves played a factor, or maybe because it was just a cold, clinical touch. It felt no different than contact when she had a body, but given the setting, perhaps it was for the best.
“Hm, only 12 beats per minute,” Teevy said, removing his finger from Emma’s neck, “Very low, but given that you don’t seem to have a heart to begin with, I’m puzzled as to how you have a pulse to begin with.”
“You and me both, doc!” Emma said, “Now can someone help me sit up?”
While Teevy scribbled some notes down, and prepared for the next test, Laetitia picked Emma up and sat her down so she balanced on her neck stump.
“Next I would like to test your lung capacity.” He held up a plastic device, a mouthpiece connected to a clear plastic tube with measurements on the side and a small plastic ball inside.
Emma opened her mouth as the doctor approached, allowing him to place the mouthpiece in her mouth. She took a deep breath before wrapping her lips around he mouthpiece and started blowing, the ball inside jumped to the top of the scale. “Blow as long as you can” Teevy instructed.
Several minutes passed and Emma showed no sign of being done exhaling. It took so long that Teevy’s arms got tired despite the respiratory scale only weighing a few ounces. Laetitia got bored and started browsing on her phone. Even underwater escape artists would be jealous.
“I think that’s enough.” Teevy said, removing the mouthpiece from Emma’s mouth. He put the device down and started stretching his arms.
“Should we call Guinness? I must have set a world record.” Emma grinned proudly.
“This is certainly a head scratcher.” Teevy said.
“I call those a me scratcher!” Emma chimed in.
“Sadly, that was probably her best head joke so far. “Laetitia added.
“Anyways… it has been established that you can produce and pump blood, and you can breathe, despite seemingly not possessing the required organs. There is one more test I would like to perform, an endoscopy.”
“You mean jam a camera down my throat and see what’s down there?” Emma asked. It sounded uncomfortable, but as a scientist she absolutely needed to know what was at the end of her neck. “Okay, I’ll do it. For science.”
“I have to go get the camera and monitor, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Teevy said, leaving Emma and Laetita alone in the examination room.
Laetitia noticed Emma’s eyes darting back and forth, she could tell she was nervous about having a camera snaked down her throat. She hopped up onto the table next to Emma and picker her up, placing her on her lap. Emma let out a contented sigh.
“Nervous?” Laetitia asked, lightly massaging Emma’s scalp.
“Well, this helps,” Emma cooed, the warmth and softness of Laetitia’s thighs was much more comforting than the cold, barely padded table, and the fingers gently rubbing the top of her head took her mind off what she was going to have to do, “But also excited! This is uncharted territory, who knows what we’ll find! If I had a heart, it would be racing right now!”
Laetitia moved one of her hands down to feel her carotid artery as Teevy did earlier, feeling a much faster pulse than he did, “Well, you’re certainly way above 12 beats per minute now.”
The door opened and Dr. Teevy walked in pushing a cart with a monitor and a long, mechanical snake spooled on it. After turning it on, he took the snake and approached Emma, still sitting in Laetitia’s lap. “Are you ready?”
Emma gulped and repeated, “For science.” before leaving her mouth open to take the camera.
Teevy started feeding the snake into Emma’s mouth. She made a gurgling sound as it passed her uvula and went into her neck. Laetitia ran her fingers through Emma’s hair to comfort her. It didn’t take long to reach the bottom of Emma’s neck, where the screen showed a black space that did not reflect the camera’s flashlight.
“-ee- -oing.” Emma managed to say.
Teevy nodded and fed the camera deeper, not knowing to expect when it hit the blackness. All three of them watched in anticipation, their eyes glued to the monitor as the camera breached the bottom of Emma’s neck. He pushed further, and it was now engulfed in darkness. Teevy almost expected it to emerge from the bottom of her neck, but it just kept going, far deeper than what remained of Emma should allow.
Eventually, the camera spotted a mushy substance, seemingly suspended in space, and Teevy moved it to get a closer look. “What is that?” He asked, squinting at the object.
“Eww, gross, it looks like chewed up food.” Laetitia said.
“-eesha!” Emma tried saying with the camera in her throat.
“Oh yeah, last night I fed Emma pizza because she wanted to see if she could eat like that. It turns out she could, and ate the entire damn thing except for the two slices I had.”
“Ah jush neffer feww fuww, so ah epp ee-ing” Emma explained.
Sure enough, Teevy found more and more globs of chewed up pizza floating in this strange space, along with droplets of liquid he assumed was whatever beverage she drank.
“Well, this certainly explains your ability to exhale endlessly without getting tired.” Teevy said, pushing the camera past last night’s meal. Emma was so excited by the find that she no longer minded the uncomfortable feeling of the snake going down her throat.
There was nothing else of but blackness beyond the food, and the camera reached the end of its rope, so Teevy began to reel it back in. After it was finally free from Emma’s mouth, she breathed a sigh of relief, “Ahh, feels good to not have that thing in me.”
“So, I must say, I am perplexed by our findings today, honestly not sure what to make of what we’ve seen.”
Emma’s eyes lit up, “Don’t worry, doc, I got a lot out of it. My neck leads to an alternate dimension! Obviously I’ll need to study this further, which means another intimate encounter with the camera, but this could have HUGE implications!”
Teevy chuckled, “Well, this kind of thing isn’t my field, but I’ll be happy to assist you however I can. For now, I need to report the results to Forrester.”
After saying their goodbyes, Dr. Teevy left Emma and Laetitia in the examination room, the latter of which stood up, still holding onto Emma’s head, and walked towards the duffel bag.
“Ugh, I hate being carried in that thing, isn’t there a better way?” Emma asked.
“The director said not to let anyone see you like this for the time being.” Laetitia said, she paused and saw a CPR dummy in the corner when inspiration struck. She put Emma down on the doctor’s desk chair and said, “I have an idea, don’t go anywhere, now!”
Emma sat alone in the room, waiting for Laetitia to return, wondering what she had in store for her. While she waited, she took a deep breath and blew as hard as she could, and it took a good deal of effort, but she actually managed to push the wheeled chair backward a few inches.
“Emma, is there anything you can’t do?” She asked herself rhetorically.
The door swung open and Laetitia walked back in pushing a wheelchair that had some scrubs, a roll of medical tape, a blanket, and a box of medical gauze on it. She cleared the items off the wheelchair, except for the scrub pants, and opened the gauze. As she began stuffing the gauze into the pants, giving them the appearance that they had legs in them, Emma realized the plan.
“Ah, I get it!” Emma said.
“You aren’t the only genius problem solver around here, you know!” she replied, fetching the CPR dummy and planting it on top of the pants. Next, she removed the dummy’s head and placed some gauze on its neck to act as cushioning for Emma’s head, which she picked up and placed on top of the torso, wrapping some of the medical tape around her neck to secure it in place.
“Does that feel okay?” Laetitia asked.
“Better than the bag.” Emma replied.
Finally, Laetitia draped the blanket over the dummy and around up to Emma’s chin, “There, it actually looks like you have a body under there.”
“Excellent, lead the way!” Emma said.
Laetitia grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed it out of the examination room and down the hall. Emma was thankful that Laetitia had found the sweet spot of not making the tape too tight, but at the same time holding her head firmly in place. They emerged from the medical research facility, and Emma smiled, finally able to be outside without having to be inside a duffel bag. It felt good to take a breath of fresh air for a change, especially when that breath could be as deep as she wanted.
Emma took in the sights of the campus. She rarely came to this area of the Institute since it wasn’t where she worked, which fortunately meant they were unlikely to run into anyone who recognized her, and this was a hospital, so someone being pushed around on a wheel chair was a common sight that didn’t draw any attention.
It was a pleasant day that she noticed many medical students were taking advantage of. Some were studying under the shade of a tree, others were sitting on benches, chatting and sipping coffee, and some were tossing a frisbee around the quad.
“Doctor Emma!” someone shouted, trying to get her attention. Laetitia stopped pushing the wheelchair when an older woman in a lab coat approached them. Emma nervously smiled at her colleague, who said, “The director said you had an accident and would be out of work for a while, are you okay?”
“Well, I just got checked out by a doctor from the medical research division, and while it looks bad, me being in a wheelchair and all, I’m sure I’ll be back up on my feet in no time!” Emma tried to suppress her giggling, Laetitia rolled her eyes.
“That’s good to hear, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask!”
“HEADS UP!” someone shouted. Out of nowhere, an out of control frisbee smacked Emma in the side of her head, knocking her off the CPR dummy.
“Ohhhhh no.” Laetitia’s heart sank as she watched Emma’s head hit the grass and roll to a stop.
“WHAT THE HELL?” Emma’s colleague screamed in shock as she, too, watched Emma’s head rolling.
“Oh shit, I’m so sor- WAIT WHAT?!” The medical student who threw the errant frisbee ran up, along with his friends, to apologize and were likewise in shock when they saw Emma’s head on the grass.
Emma, to everyone’s surprise, began to laugh uncontrollably. “He said HEADS UP… and I’m just a head!”
Laetitia ran up to Emma and picked her head up, “Whelp, this is going to take some explaining.” She said as she stared at the slack jawed onlookers.
“Director Forrester isn’t gonna be happy about this.” Emma said dryly.