Janitorial Duties
Being a janitor at a nightclub was not an easy job. You didn’t get to have any of the fun that everyone else had and had to clean up after thousands of drunk people. It was messy, it was sticky, and sometimes it was even gross. But eventually, you might come across things that you could slip into your pockets, like a missing bracelet or a ring. However, these were few and far between. The only thing that was constant were the shoes of the drunk women who took them off for the night and forgot them. Hey, at least they got donated.
However, tonight was very different. Usually at the club there’s live performances and the like, usually a third rate cover band or an up and coming ‘star’, but this time they brought in a magician. He was at least interesting to watch before my actual job started, so I kept an eye on him while cleaning up the vomit on the ground.
The magician was not doing any special tricks, just using illusions. He would ask some overly drunk people to pick a card, palm it lazily as he knew his audience was absolutely oblivious, and then bring it back for cheers and drunken screaming. He did some admittedly cool swapping tricks, where he would shake an empty bottle of beer and ‘magically’ produce a new one, and then there was his ‘finale’.
“Now, I know all you women like to take off your shoes, but you hate forgetting them!” the magician announced, met with some cheers from the ladies on the dance floor. “What if I was able to make it so that it would be harder to forget them? Maybe make them a bit more important?” And with that, he unveiled a small guillotine. He coaxed a very drunk woman from the crowd onto the stage and placed her feet in the stocks, still in her shoes. “Now, this won’t hurt at all. Just watch in amazement as I solve two problems at once!”
With that, the guillotine dropped. There was a collective shriek from the crowd as it fell, however it seemed to cause no pain to the volunteer. The magician helped the volunteer walk back over to the center of the stage, and something became apparent. Her feet were missing! The magician, with a smile on his face, went to the basket and retrieved the pair of shoes, feet still inside. “Now, as you may be wondering, yes, my wonderful volunteer can still feel these beauties! She won’t be forgetting her shoes any time soon. And, if anyone else would like the same treatment, just line up on the stage!”
He handed back the feet to the volunteer and was met with outstanding applause. Women from the entire club, even some employees, had lined up to get their feet cut off. I still couldn’t believe it.
This trend of cut off feet was very popular with the dancers, even though it made the most drunk of them fall over even more. I decided that with all of the patron’s reduced mobility, I would wait until everyone was done with their fun to clean up. There couldn’t be that much of a mess…
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There was, in fact, that much of a mess. Spilled drinks, more bodily fluids, and even a couple of ruined shirts were all littering the floor. I was the only one in the main area, as I always was, cleaning up after everyone else. No bracelets seemed to be in sight today, which was a bummer. I loved pawning them off. The moment I was about to finish, I checked a secluded corner of the dace floor, a place I often forgot about, and found an amazing sight. Three pairs of shoes, feet included.
My heart raced. I didn’t know what to do. Anything left overnight became the property of the club’s, or me, and I blushed, thinking about what I could do with them. I slipped each pair into my bag and acted like nothing had happened, which was a lot harder to do when I had essentially found a gold mine.
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I had rushed home, clocking out quickly and speeding to my front door. When I got inside, I locked the door, taking a deep breath. Then, I opened my bag, spilling out the contents. A water bottle, my uneaten dinner, and three pairs of amazing feet, complimented by their equally amazing shoes.
The first pair were size 6, in cherry red high heels. Why anyone wore heels to a nightclub was beyond me. I slowly pulled them away, and almost dropped the feet when I saw them wiggle lazily. Apparently they could control the feet, true to the magician’s word. I rubbed my thumbs on the arches of the specimens, watching as the toes scrunched and wiggled in my hands. They were very pale with black nail polish, something I could die for. I had to set them down, looking at the next pair.
These were a size 8, larger than the last, with low cut socks and flats. Gingerly taking them out of their homes, and peeling away the socks, I could see that they were more pink in color with flatter arches and shorter toes. The nail polish was a dark red, and I bit my lip. I would have to see the last pair before I did anything.
Just like the other two, the last pair of feet were a magnificent sight to behold. Hidden in these black pumps were feet that had slightly yellow soles, high arches, and a french tip pedicure. At this point, the aroma of the feet were starting to get to me. I tried tickling them one by one, and each of them reacted. Then, I got to business.
Reaching for all of the feet, I planted my face into each one. They were absolutely divine. I couldn’t imagine what their previous owners were feeling, but I didn't care. I tasted each of them with the first being a slightly salty mix, the second coming off as vaguely cherry, and the last having a more earthy taste to match its own special aroma. If heaven was real, I might have died and gone to it already.
I had more fun with my new toys, rubbing, tickling,, and tasting all of them until I grew tired. Two in the morning already? Time sure does fly. Dumping my newfound treasures onto my bed, I climbed in for the best night’s sleep I’d ever had.