TG War: Hospital Bound
A red light spins and flashes as it descends from the ceiling of the limo. “When did we get one of those,” Tracey asks while shielding her eyes.
“What is it,” Doc asks.
“Intel says there’s an attack going on the TG Hospital by the White Team.”
“A White Team? When did that happen? Next you’ll telling me there is a Green team, too.”
The both look at her, but keep going. “So, what do we do?”
The gray haired boss answers, “No time for that now. Driver! To the lab!” They stop up in the parking lot, Doc and Tracey get out, and the limo drives away with, “Get ready.”
Tracey is confused. “What is going on here? I thought we were going on another boring base visit.”
Doc isn’t listening, “Get ready? For what? Attack or Defense?”
Tracey shakes her head, “Why am I even bothering? Next he’ll be racing out to the Bus to get supplies …”
Doc’s head shoots up, “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” He races out the front door to the wheelless wonder in a parking spot halfway across the lot under a light.
Tracey slaps her forehead with her palm. “NOW he listens to me … I suppose I should get ready for whatever this is.” She heads over to round ball nearby. “Ed’s holo-thingie might help with whatever we are doing.” She picks it up just as Doc scrambles back in juggling the three nozzle gun and a bunch of various test tubes and hot sauce bottles. “What did you …” That’s all she gets out.
Music from an 80’s, non lethal, action, TV show theme song gets louder as something draws closer. As if drawn by some invisible force the two walk forward to the sliding front doors. Sure enough the sliding doors slide open.
A black van with its side door open screeches to a stop in front of them. Holding on to the side in camouflage clothes in a dramatic pose and cheesy smile with a smoking cigar clenched between the teeth is their boss. “I love it when a plan comes together,” she says. Tracey has to wonder if it would look more dramatic if Uncle Ben was a he.
The two employees exchange looks and shuffle over to the open door. They get in and the vehicle roars to life. The force throws them to the floor and slides them back to the back wall. As the scenery flashes past the front window Tracey notices that the cigar is still smoking even though Uncle Ben hasn’t used it yet. She looks to Doc.
“AutoSmoker. Before you. It’s for recovering smokers. It gives the appearance and feeling of smoking without the actual inhaling of the carcinogenic compounds. It’s like a tiny cigarette lighter on the tip.”
The van slows, and they can stand from their places on the floor. Their leader rallies them, “Ok, troops, what weapons did you bring to the battle?” Doc shows the gun. “You brought a pistol to a bazooka fight?” Then turning on Tracey, “What about you?” Tracey shows the holo-orb-thing. “Pah! Seems we’ll have to do this the old fashioned way. Driver, full speed ahead!”
Tracey is once again acquainted with the floor in the back. She sees that Doc has somehow has stayed upright. Then he gets frantic. He selects a vial, rolls down the passenger window, and breaks it against the front window.
Tracey wonders at this until she realizes that they are airborne and headed toward a wall in the top level. She grasps the orb and says the first thing that come to mind, “Soft!”
They pass harmlessly through the wall which gets her a dirty look from the boss, “Soldier, what was the meaning of that?”
“uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh,” But before she can reply syringes fly from all sides, sail harmlessly through both the van and the occupants therein, and hit the doctors and nurses on the other side.
“Good plan, soldier!” She turns to the other, “Doc, give us some cover fire!”
Doc loads 3 vials of black liquid. Three go down as black something covers them. Uncle Ben pulls the pie gun out and fires out the open passenger window. Doc reloads and continues firing.
CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! The van vibrates with each step. Tracey gets up to see what is making the van vibrate. The others don’t seem to notice. Tracey slides open the driver’s side side door a crack. “Uhhhh, guys?”
“Not now, I’m out of latex and plastic capsules.”
“We have a bigger problem. And I mean bigger, literally.” They turn to look. “It’s a giant robot and its laser is pointing at us.” Sure enough the bullet shaped one eyed metal machine’s head is scraping the ceiling as it steps.
“I got it. We’ll take it down like we took down TGTFLink.” Doc fires hot sauce bottles at the knees and ankles.
“But we didn’t take him down. He got away.”
“Oh yeah. Right.” The vials ricochet off the leg and splatter on the floor burning holes there. The pink laser in the shape of a cross fires going right through the van and into the floor creating a hole there.
“Driver, Move!”
“But it’s not hurting us!”
“Yes, but we’ll be a moving target.”
“What?” Tracey throws her hands up in exasperation.
They make most of a circle when they see him. “Four score and seven years ago, our fore fathers …”
“It’s Abraham Lincoln,” cries Doc.
“Isn’t he dead?”
“Obviously not as he’s sitting there with an ax,” points out Uncle Ben.
“… brought forth on this continent a new nation established …”
“Nnnnnnoooooo, he’s giving a speech. I hate history,” Doc crumples into a ball whimpering.
“A speech is worse than an ax?”
Uncle Ben shifts her gaze from one side of the van to the other. THUNK! The ax passes through the van and lodges into the floor. “Driver, Reverse!” The tires squeal. “Now,” she says to herself as she fires the pie gun splattering over the laser eye. “Now,” she yells at Tracey.
“Uuuuuuhhh, Hard?”
CLANG!
“Driver, Forward!” More spinning wheels.
Tracey looks out the front window to see the robot spinning on its head. “You’ve got to be kidding me, break dancing?”
“Not for long. Soon it will be breaking. Switch us back.”
“Soft?” They pass through the robot busting a move and ax wielding ex president.
He raises his weapon as they pass through him, “Why am I even giving …”
“Reverse. Switch.”
“Hard?”
“… this speech if no one’s listen – Ack!” The van bumps the butt which lowers the ax which punctures the eye which short circuits the spinning robot which yanks the ax out of the hands of the wielder. Suddenly the top floor fills with a massive explosion which forces the two dead villains through the laser cut circle in the floor to the floor below. Oh and nurses fly every which direction completely untouched by the explosion but rendered unconscious and disarmed anyway.
And just when all seems lost, a black van blasts through a wall rocketing just barely ahead of the explosive flames and lands a distance away on all four wheels unscathed. And somewhere in the distance an 8-bit victory tune plays and Uncle Ben gives a thumbs up.