Uncle Ben enters the War
(2/2/09)

Tracey hops off the city bus and heads up to the automatic doors that is her work place, the Lab. The doors open with a swish and there she sees a very unusual sight. “Doc? What are you doing in a suit?” Tracey looks over the man in a neat and trim old dark brown three piece suit with tan colored tie. She watches him fidget in place.

He sees her, “Indeed.”

“What? Why are you wearing a suit? Shouldn’t you be working on something?”

His eyes sadden as he looks down, “I want to, but I can’t. Our financial backer arrives in a few minutes.”

“What?!? Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have …”

“I told you to sleep in and come in later.”

She looks at him bemused, “You know I’m not going to come in late. I like working here.”

“So, we could be finished before you got here,” he concludes. Tracey starts pacing the floor. “I would like to work on something, but this is my only suit.”

She is brought up short by the quiet squeal of some brakes. “Oh crud. He’s here.”

They hear the voice from outside, “Be sure to get those brakes looked at. They are getting a little noisy.” SWISH! The doors open to reveal an older man in a pristine, new Navy suit and power blue tie. Tracey takes in the short somewhat spiky gray hair, ice blue eyes, and gray goatee. A distinguished old man to be sure.

Doc approaches him, “Sir, it’s so good to see you again …”

The man stops Doc, “Please. Sir is my father. Call me Uncle Ben.” Tracey tries to process why this man would want a less formal name. It shows on her face.

Doc shakes his hand, “Yes, sir. I mean, Uncle Ben.”

Uncle Ben finishes the handshake and heads for the strawberry blond who is in deep thought, “You must be Tracey! I’ve heard so many things about you!” He takes Tracey’s startled hand and shakes it. He steps back a moment and looks at the two of them. “So, how are my two favorite inventors?”

Doc looks through the fake small talk and replies, “We are your only two inventors.”

Uncle Ben waves it off like it’s unimportant, “You two are my favorites because you two have brought in the most money of any of my investments.” Doc and Tracey look at each other. “Not only that, but the two of you have a team work surpassed by none. Also, you have a work ethic that shames most.”

“Now you are laying it on thick,” Doc interrupts.

“Yeah, what are you up to,” Tracey agrees.

“And very astute as well. You will do well I can tell.”

“What,” they ask in unison.

“I’ve got another thing I want you to join.”

“Another?”

“But the only thing we’ve joined so far is the TG Race,” says Tracey, “and you didn’t have anything to do with that.”

“Au contraire, my friends. Who do you think dropped the announcements on your doorstep? Who do you think slicked the way for you to join and caused you to be accepted? And who do you think gave your uncle an extra vehicle to give to you?”

“You?”

“Correct-a-mundo.” They share a bewildered glance. “And now I want you to join the TG War.”

“War,” Tracey asks.

Doc adds, “We’re not fighters. We won’t kill anyone.”

Uncle Ben laughs, “Have you learned nothing? The TG Race wasn’t about racing it was about changing. The war isn’t about killing …”

“It’s about changing?”

“Absotively Posolutely. Now you’ve got it. And we are going to join as Free Lancers. We will be able to be commissioned by any team.”

“But wouldn’t that put us as enemies of all the teams?”

“Oh no no. We will be the ally of all the teams,” Ben smiles at the thought. Doc and Tracey shake their heads. “You know what? I’ve got just the thing to celebrate. I’ll be right back.” Ben heads back outside.

“He’s the financial backer,” Tracey whispers to Doc.

“Yeah,” he whispers back, “And if we don’t comply the laboratory evaporates.”

“Nooooo,” she moans. They look to see Uncle Ben looking at them holding two packages.

“So, what were you two talking about?”

Doc looks frantic, “We were. We were discussing that you had left.”

Tracey joins in, “And I said, ‘Nooooo.’ Because I didn’t want you to go.”

“Oh! That was very nice of you.” The gray haired man hands each their present.

Tracey unwraps hers and pulls out a pinkish t-shirt with the word ‘Peach’ on it and a picture of …

“Pie,” Ben finishes for them, “We’ve been assigned the greek letter Pie. These will be our team shirts. Put them on. Put them on.” Tracey slides on her nightshirt sized present. She looks over at Doc wearing a white shirt with ‘Chocolate’ in brown letters and a matching pie. His also reaches his thighs.

“Sir,” Doc begins.

“Uncle Ben.”

“Right. This isn’t the correct Pi.”

“Nonsense. I know what I’m talking about. The greek letter Pie comes from the round shape of the pies we make nowadays. They used Pie to help define the circle. It caught on so well that they made round fruit shaped pastries and named it after the greek letter for circles.”

That makes no sense at all. “But,” Tracey gathers up a handful shirt for display, “But why are these so large?”

“Oh! That’s because in this war, my intelligence states, they like to transform people into females and quite buxom ones as well. I just want to make sure your clothes fit and are comfortable no matter what you change into.”

Tracey’s face pleads with Doc for any way out of this. His face falls in answer. Then she spots a small button on his lapel, “Sir? I mean Uncle Ben? What’s …”she asks pointing.

He looks, “Oh! I’m Pecan. Well, Chop. Chop. Everyone into the Limo. We’ve got a war to wage!” The suited man leads the way out.

“Oh, he’s nuts all right.” They slink off after him.