Moving In
(12/17/2008)
He looks across the candlelit table at her. His mind pleads with her to look up and read his mind. She plays with her food avoiding his eyes. Nervous he plays with his button down collar and tie, “Mary?”
She lifts her eyes, but not her head, “Yes?”
His eyes try to communicate the volumes of information so that she will understand what he is asking. She seems not to read it. Even though he knows what he wants to say, he begins slowly trying to find the words, “Well, we’ve been going out for months now …” He runs a nervous hand through his sandy blond hair, “…and I really like you …”
She looks back down, “I like you, too, Tony.”
He continues trying to reach his destination, “… I have fun with you and I …”
“Don’t say it,” she whispers.
I must get this out. “Mary, I … I … I think I’d like to take our relationship to the next level.” He slides his hand palm down across the table.
“She covers his hand with hers, “No.”
He looks at her with confusion, “What? I don’t understand.”
She stands as boldly as she can, but the tremble in her hands gives her away, “No, I can’t.” Then she turns and heads for the door.
Tony stands, motions the waiter that he’ll be right back, and chases after her. He catches up to her just outside. She is sobbing. “What’s going on? Did I say something wrong?”
She sniffles, but her voice is filled with her tears, “No, you did nothing wrong.”
“Then what? Are we not to that stage yet?”
“No, we are.”
“Moving in?”
She cries again for a moment, “Tony, I desperately want to move in with you, but …”
“But?”
“But I can’t! Mom and Dad have forbidden me from living with any man until I’m married.”
“Oh.”
“And what’s more, they have a house that they bought that I am supposed to live in with other girls. If I leave, I’ll have to start paying rent. I have to live there.” She burst into tears again.
Tony puts a comforting arm around her and she leans onto his shoulder. Tony thinks to himself, This is terrible. If I don’t think of something quick … He shudders thinking the finish of the thought. “I’ll think of something,” he promises her, “Now, let’s go back in and finish the meal.”
She looks at him hopefully, “You think so?”
“I hope so,” he says suddenly uncertain, “but I’ll try. And I won’t let it spoil our time together.”
That’s good enough for her, “Ok, let’s go in.” They reenter and return to their table. She meets his eyes and eats her meal. He pulls the key he was slipping her when all this started back and puts it back in his pocket.
The conversation strays to many things. Over dessert they laughingly discuss odd relatives they’ll have to meet someday. Tony’s mind wanders until it stops on his nearby … “My uncle!”
She laughs in expectation of a humorous story, “Yes, I’ll have to meet him. What’s he like?”
“No, my uncle … If there is anyone who might be able to help us, it’s him.” He snaps out it and looks at his cell phone. “Hmmmm, he might still be up, but I shouldn’t call.” He looks to Mary, “I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Want to come?”
“Uh, sure,” then she laughs, “I guess I’ll have to meet him sooner or later.”
“Great! I’ll pick you up about lunch. He usually takes a break about then.”
The next day, as promised, they make their way to the place of mystery. They stop in front of a house. Tony knocks. The door immediately opens to a brown haired man with a half shaven, half five o’clock shadow facial hair. His hair is all over his head. A pink cat on a leash is beside him. His eyes ablaze, “We don’t want any!” He slams the door in their faces.
Mary looks to Tony who looks back and smiles. He knocks again. The same man and cat fling the door open. This time he has a stain on his shirt and a piece of lettuce in his mouth, “We …”
“Uncle!”
“… don’t want …” Realization slowly dawns on him, “What day is it?”
Mary stifles a laugh at this wild man of an uncle. Tony answers, “It’s Wednesday, Uncle.”
The man with the cat rolls his eyes up for a moment while his tongue taps on his teeth. His eyes return flashing, “You aren’t scheduled to be here today!”
“That’s right. We came to see you today because of what happened last night.”
“What happened? An earthquake in California? A tornado in the Midwest? Nuclear …”
“No, Uncle. May we come inside?”
“… disaster …” He stops. He looks at them again and his face softens, “Uh, ok.”
After they pass him and head toward the living room, Mary asks, “Are you sure he can help us?”
He whispers back, “I’m not sure, but if anyone can it’s him. He’s a sporadic yet sequential thinker. He’s also a bit of a Renaissance Man or Jack of all Trades.”
“Oh.”
They sit on the couch while the uncle sits on a nearby armchair, “So what’s this terrible calamity worse than a nuclear fallout?” They explain to him about the moving in together problem. “So, to sum up, you both want to move in together, but you can’t because her parents bought a house and boys aren’t allowed. And if you move out then you both don’t have enough money to rent an apartment.”
“And I’d have to finish paying for college,” Mary adds.
The uncle stands from his chair. The pink cat scampers away. His eyes go distant, “Hmmm, hmmmm, this IS a problem.” He rubs the partial stubble on his chin but then gets distracted by it. He paces the room with his hands behind his back.
Seconds pass then minutes. They wait expectantly. He stops mid step, “Weeeeelllll.” He thinks for a moment, “No.”
Tony and Mary look to each other, “What,” they ask in unison.
“No. No,” he shakes his head.
Tony is desperate, “Anything! We’ll do anything!”
The uncle turns to their anxious faces, “Anything?”
“Yes, anything.” They nod to each other in agreement.
“Very well.” He looks beyond them and raises his voice, “Fran One, come.”
They turn their gaze as a female robot comes down the hall. “This is Fran. Fully Robotic Assistant Nexus. She is version one. I use version two.” She reaches him. “Open for programming.” She turns and gives him her back. A panel opens and lowers in her back.
He taps some keys. “Look at the girl. She is your main master.” He taps some more. “Look at the boy. He is your secondary master.” After still more key punching, he closes the back. “I have added you as masters. I left myself a backdoor in case something goes wrong. Now come here,” he gestures to Tony and Mary.
They hurry over. “This button is for early activation. This button is for early deactivation. I’ve locked you out of the main programming, but you can still open the back and make minor adjustments like to the times for instance.”
He starts to walk away, but turns back, “Oh! If you don’t know what to do, give me a call and I’ll walk you through it.” He turns and then turns back, “And, this button should only be used once. This is learn location button. Press that when you get to your room.”
He leaves calling him cat’s name, “Here Puce. Here Pucey kitty. Time for our walk.”
Mary turns to Tony confused, “I guess we are done then?”
Tony nods, “Let’s get her out of here.”
“How?”
“Try calling her.”
“Fran One,” Mary starts uncertainly.
“Yes, Mistress,” comes the digitized reply.
“Follow me.”
“Yes, Mistress.” The robot comes to Mary. Mary walks out the door with Fran following. Entering the car, the robot’s weight causes the vehicle to pop a wheelie all the way to Mary’s new house.
Upon reaching their destination, they quickly get Fran to her new home. They close the door to Mary’s room and push the “learn location” button. Fran immediately moves about the room stopping occasionally scanning things. Slowly the sun slips below the horizon.
The two watch the robot. Mary turns to Tony, “This helps our situation, how?”
He looks to her, “I don’t know. He’s never let me down yet.”
Fran returns to her start point, “Area scanned and stored. Program ending.” She pauses a moment and a small chime is heard, “Punishment Program activated.”
“Punishment?” They look to each other.
“Executing commands.”
Fran moves over to Tony and pins his arms to his sides. “Ouch! Stop Fran One!”
“Invalid. Commands not accepted from secondary master in punishment mode.” Tony’s eyes go wide in surprise, and then Fran zaps him with her laser eyes. Tony stops squirming and stands rigid and surprised and unmoving. Fran begins calculated moves. Tony’s arms join his body so that they are all one piece. She continues with the legs forcing Tony into a type of square shape plus neck and head.
Mary breaks out of her surprised state and commands the robot, “Fran One stop!”
“Command denied. Operation must be completed.” A hose exits from the robot and finds its way into Tony’s mouth. The robot pulls on the sides of his head making it expand until it is as wide as the rest of his square body. She then joins his head and body.
Mary pushes the stop early button, “Button disabled. Operation must be completed.” The now rectangle shaped Tony begins to grow. Fran lays him on the ground and Mary realizes that the shape seems familiar, What is happening to him?
Fran pushes down on him over and over as she shapes him into a longer, deeper rounded rectangle shape. Finally the hose retracts and she lifts him up. Fran carries him over to the bed. She removes the mattress and all blankets in one quick motion. In their place, she puts Tony. She heads back to her starting point.
“This room is a mess.”
Mary furious that her boyfriend was just turned into her bed yells at the robot, “Of course it is! You just messed it up!”
“Executing cleaning program.” Fran quickly remakes the bed and stores the extra mattress in the large closet. “Cleaning program completed.
Mary races toward the bed and pulls back the bed coverings. “Oh, Tony,” she cries. She rolls onto the bed weeping, “I never wanted this to happen to you.” For several moments she sobs.
Once she starts to regain control, she remembers that the robot started on its own. Some program must be on a timer or something. She rolls out of the bed and heads to the automated helper, “Fran, Open up!”
“Yes, Mistress.” By the time she reaches her, the back is open. She quickly checks the self activating programs. She finds two called Punishment, one and two. She checks Punishment One, “This one starts at …” She checks the clock. “… five minutes ago and it is still running. Until 8:30 tomorrow morning. I’ll be out of the house by then. I won’t be able to see if he changes back.”
Things start clicking. Fran didn’t say that the program couldn’t stop, just what she was doing. I wonder … Mary presses the stop early button. Fran springs into action clearing the bed. She pulls the Tony bed out and pushes him back into his human shape and zaps him again.
Tony blinks a few times, “What just happened? I felt like I was asleep and had a wonderful dream of you crying near me.”
Mary hugs him with joyful tears, “Tony, your uncle’s a genius!”
“Oh?”
“Fran, here, is programmed to turn you into my bed from after dinner until breakfast.”
“Oh!” He works on absorbing this, “So, you were crying? And were next to me. This is great. Now we can live together. “
“Yes. I’m so happy.”
“Me too.” They embrace.
The End?