What is the hemovore? Is it a man? A cow? The "vampyre" of myth? One would expect it to be more impressive. Or merely an oversized leech? To converse with, he is charming, though beneath the easy charm lies the mind of a true predator. He is human only to the extent required to anticipate and hunt them, and he has all the empathy for his victims as an average man has for a turkey sandwich.

The creature exhibits a sort of predator–prey body dysmorphia. It is not the loss of human form that upsets him - no, one suspects he'd be quite content as a wolf, or even a spider. Rather, it has a visceral disgust at being forced into the form of a herbivore. Starved of human blood, he has degenerated into this. His clawless hooves disgust him, as do the sideways-facing prey eyes. The plump, helpless physique, like a slab of meat ready for the spit roast, is anathema to his true nature as-

Vould you cease your infernal notetaking, you vretched little vorm!

The specimen is coherent (accent not withstanding) though uncooperative to our investigation and attempts to glean its weaknesses, of which there are almost too many to catalogue.

You zink me veak?! Ven my childer arrive zey vill vip out your throat!

It insists others of its kind are coming for it. In the meantime, we are limited to non-destructive testing on our sole specimen. However, myself and the team are excited to see how deep its imitation of living biological processes extends.

It's ironic, isn't it? That an organism that has spent centuries feeding on humans should itself become a source of liquid nourishment.

... vha... vhat?

I’m especially looking forward to the taste test!

Vait! Vait! What do you need to know?! I am veak to garlic! Sunlight! Stakes! Crosses! Silver! Mirrors! Running vater! Holy vater! Aggravated damage! Counting! Verevolves! Bigger vampires! Doorvays!