"Drink! Drink! Drink!" chanted the crowd. The young men and women gulp down another shot with sickly green faces.

A few years ago, that chant would have been lighthearted encouragement. This year, it had an edge to it. It was a demand.

Student orientation had taken on extra significance since Surgerveillance began selling affordable, believable surgery to concerned parents. The campus was now riddled with middle-aged busybodies slipped imperceptibly inside the student body, determined to make sure their children were behaving themselves.

Paranoia was rife. The alterations was near perfect, especially after the first month once the surgical scars had healed. There was no way of telling if your study buddy or your roommate or even your college crush weren't some parent in disguise.

The only way to tell was to put them through their paces. Student orientation was now a gauntlet of alcohol, drugs, and sex; to force the imposters either to drop the act or engage in the exact same behavior they were looking to put a stop to. Anyone who refused to commit was held in suspicion for the rest of their college life. It was a social death sentence.

One of the student bars was hosting a drinking competition. "Freshman or old man". I'd stopped by to pick up a new girl. Well, maybe not a ''girl' girl. As a postgrad, I just needed something to play with for the next four years. 'Maya' stood out at once, cradling her glass of bourbon in a dark corner, as she watched a fellow freshman from afar. After striking up a conversation, it didn't take long to realize her references were all thirty years out of date.

"So who is she to you?" I asked once Maya's attention flittered back to the girl in the drinking competition. "Your daughter? Grandaughter?" My hand ran up Maya's soft thigh, barely feeling the neat lines of surgical scars beneath. Whoever took her apart and put her back together again did a wonderful job.

"Nobody! I've never seen her before in my life!" she squeaked.

"I dunno... Seems pretty sus."

Her eyes went wide. "I swear! For real, no cap, on God."

"You got that out of a book," I laughed. "You're a bad liar. But I like you. I'd be willing to vouch for you."

"You would?" she gasped in relief.

"Of course. People here know me. Stick with me and I'll tell everyone you're the real deal. You see, my last fucktoy graduated last year along with his son. It was a wonderful four years and I was heartbroken to see him go, but I need someone to replace him. Or if you prefer, I can go tell the girl over there that her... dad... mom is spying on her?"

Maya gulped her whisky with a defeated air and set aside the glass. "Um, why don't we continue this back at your place?" she shuddered.