Annoyingly, my PC is broken at the moment but I've found a small cache of old, janky captions that I never uploaded for one reason or another, usually because they were just too janky, but they might tide me over for a little bit.

Most of them are quite old however, so it means the images are going to be low-res potato quality until I can fix my old PC or buy a new one.

Hopefully service should be resumed in a week or less 😢 Unfortunately it means I won't be able to render any requests for a while

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SOLO FOR SALE:

For your consideration, an item of exceptional beauty and rarity: one former smuggler, male, encased in carbonite.

Condition: Well-Used

Product Details: The item is the still-living remains of Han Solo, passed into the hands of the glorious Jabba for unpaid debts. The individual has been rendered into the finest Imperial-grade carbonite complete with durable, inbuilt life-support system certified for several thousand years.

Note that the external appearance has been partially melted and reforged into that of a graceful, anatomically correct Twilek slave woman for Jabba's amusement. While this masterpiece still retains the original essence of Han Solo, the melted and reforged body boasts adjustable parts designed for all manner of use.

The item would make a one-of-a-kind collector's piece, either to hang on a wall or perhaps used as a coffee table. The item has been in its owner's collection for some time, and will need a deep cleanse to remove the encrusted Hutt saliva, but is otherwise in perfect condition. It is only being sold due to repeated nuisance attempts of others to steal the item. The sale will be conducted anonymously and the item will have all identifying barcodes etched out prior to sale. Jabba is heartbroken to see it go, though takes solace that it will soon be lost amongst all the billions of other inert collector's pieces in the galaxy.

Inquire within Jabba’s Palace, Tatooine for viewing arrangements. Bidding begins at 5,000 credits.