Good morning, class. I'm sure you're all excited to know what's in the lead box at the back of the classroom. Yes, this semester we will be going over metagenic minerals. No, stay in your seats back there. It is a minuscule amount and an inch thick of lead, I can assure you. So long as none of you are foolish enough to open the lid without my direct supervision, there is no risk of it leaking.

Today we're learning about gynite. You're probably aware of it - it's that glowing pink rock your mother or sister has on her vanity table or wedding ring- though you may be unaware of its origin and uses. We'll cover those in detail and then, at the end of the week, we'll observe the effects of the mineral on living tissue. The metagenic properties are remarkably consistent across human, amphibian, and even plant organisms so if any of you are squeamish at the prospect of dissecting a feminized, large-breasted frog, you are of course allowed to leave at that part.

Now, I would like you to picture how the modern world might look without gynite, if you can. Certainly, it would be a far different place. Take a look in your father's medicine cabinet when you get home. Read the ingredients. In such a world, there would be no X-Change pills, no Spray-On Breasts. Men in such a world might well live their entire lives without ever knowing womanhood. Indeed, without Womb Tonic, many of you wouldn't have been born at all! Gynite and its derivatives are the main active ingredients in many feminizing pharmaceutics used today.

The purpose of this lesson is to teach you how to use these items in a responsible, safe manner. Yes, they can be fun. But they can also be dangerous. Take Spray-On Breasts for example. For demonstration purposes, I have a can right here. Pay close attention while I apply it. Notice that I aim it at my chest, being very careful to point it away from my face. I press the nozzle and deposit a layer of breast tissue evenly across the chest. Once again: away from the face. This stuff lasts 24 hours. You don't want to spend that time breathing through a nipple.