This is a request by the Single Use Body rehabilitation charity, Spare A Thought, for volunteers. An electrical discharge at a local construction site has resulted in the partial awakening of a dozen orcoid-type construction SUBs, putting a significant burden on the charity's existing support staff. We are in dire need of volunteers to act as personality donors to assist with rehabilitation to fit a tight deadline.

The SUBs are currently estimated to be no higher than Type III on the Kardashian Scale of Sentience. They must demonstrate Type V or higher sentience within three months, or else be humanely disposed of by the company.

As a donor, you will be fitting with a cerebral implant to facilitate the joining of your mind to that of one or more SUB via a wireless Bicameral Bridge, allowing the free exchange of thoughts, physical sensation, memories, and mental schemata. The spare capacity of your cerebral cortex will serve as a temporary surrogate for their higher brain functions, allowing them to form complex thoughts for the first time, which we are hopeful will help to trigger their permanent development beyond their current animalistic consciousness.

Donors may experience a minor reduction in intelligence during the meld due to the higher neural workload, as well as bleed-through of heightened emotions and libido, though these will resolve swiftly once the bond is severed. Donors can contribute as much of their time as they wish (though we ask for a minimum of 1 hour per week). Thanks to the wireless implant, donors can continue their day-to-day activities during the personality transplant.

Your personality will be the scaffolding around which they construct their own. As such, our ideal candidate will be an emotionally-robust intellectual to offset the natural boisterousness of the orcoid-model, with a clean criminal record and proof of happy, formative, childhood memories. Employable skills are desirable though not required.

We believe everyone deserves a chance at sentience. If you would like to play a vital role in the development of these unfortunate individuals, please contact KX-1138 at the Spare A Thought Foundation today.