Part One:

Mature Content

[minor heresy] The Book of Eve [TG/bimbofication] by Transviscera

Part Two:

Mature Content

Part Three:

Mature Content

Part Four:

Mature Content

(P.P.S. Male and female members of our congregation currently breastfeeding are reminded not to drink the communion wine due to the sheer amount of oestrogen we've put in it)

As a newcomer to our fair town, we warmly extend to both you and your wife an invitation to attend this Sunday's sermon at the Church of Adam's Rib. Please find below the schedule for the day. We look forward to meeting you in person!

8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Drinks and Light Refreshments

Doors open early for tea, coffee and biscuits, so that you can have time beforehand to meet our congregation and be welcomed into the heaving bosom of our community.

9:00 AM - 9:30 AM: Songs of Worship

A collection of hymns led by our church choir, of whom we are very proud - all sopranos.

9:30 AM - 12:00 AM: Readings from the Book of Eve

Service begins at 9:30 and will be read by Pastor Roberts. As this is your first time attending, he will begin by reading from the Book of Conception as laid down by our prophet and founder, Jesus II, in 1845. Pastor Roberts will explain to you the story of the First Mistake, the making of Man within the Garden of Eden, and the subsequent purification of this flawed creation into Eve, our Holy Progenitor. The pastor will deliver instruction as to how men are to live in service of the Lord's perfected creations and, through emulation, expunge their wickedness.

While I'm sure that our teachings may seem a little unorthodox to outsiders, we ask that you keep an open mind. Also the doors will remain locked during the sermon so as not to disturb attendees.

While the women of our congregation are integral to our worship and are warmly invited to the Church, they are not required to attend the sermon itself, being already pure and free of Sin. Instead they are invited to spend time in the chapel-adjacent spa, or to help in the training of those men who have already begun their journeys along the Path of Eve towards becoming Brides of Adam.

12:00 - 12:30: Guest Speaker - Samuel Jenkins

One of our congregation, Samuel, will speak briefly on the joys and tribulations he has encountered as he walks the Path of Eve, while giving thanks to all who provided to our Surgical Purification Fund, through whose beneficence he recently attained his sanctified breast implants, of which he is delighted.

12:30 AM - 12:45 AM: Offering and Tithes

Members of our Neighbourhood Watch couldn't help but notice how fashionable your wife appeared on arrival, even after such a long drive from the East Coast. Our Church is always wanting for donations of lingerie, shoes, and makeup for those walking the Path of Eve, should your wife have any to spare. Monetary donations are gladly received, and will go into our Surgical Purification Fund.

12:45 - 13:15 AM: Communion

13:15 AM - 13:30 PM: Closing Remarks and Benediction
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We'll be seeing you.
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P.S. Were those strapping young men helping to unload furniture from the removal van your sons by any chance?