Mature Content

The Spanish government recently took measures to beautify their aging expat enclaves by reskinning their Brit retirees into sexy Spaniards. Over a thousand men have already gone under the knife, with plenty more on the way, so we're down here to get a slice of the action. That's right, we're bringing our lucky readers a new girl (and we mean new. They're barely out of the operating theatre!) every week in our Sizzling Summer of SynthSkin Sluts.

This week Page 3 gets up close and personal with our newest Page 3 girls, Barry, 54, from Barnsley and Peter, 61, from Essex, both long-time readers of the Sun, both former men turned into smoking hot senoritas. Stripped of their pensions (and their clothes!), these broke and beautiful babes are willing to do almost anything to pay the bills. And we've snapped them up for a bargain price.

Peter, let's start with you. So you girls are twins, huh?
We're not girls. But yeah, the synthskin they used on us was grown from the same woman. Outwardly we look like her, but inside we're different men.

So triplets. Even better! We'll have to get the three of you together for your next photoshoots. I'm sure she'll be overjoyed when she sees what the two of you are doing with her body. So our readers are dying to know. Who has more fun? Men or women?
Men. It's been difficult. I'm a sparky by trade. Forty years, man and boy. You build up a lot of respect with your customers, a lot of repeat custom. I have decades of experience but nobody takes me seriously looking like this. Being-

Nobody asked for your life story, sugar tits. I'm talking about in bed.
I wouldn't know anything about that.

You mean you haven't experienced the joys of womanhood yet? What a tragic waste. Our readers would love to take you both out for a test drive.
*shudder* This is what I'm talking about. Being turned into a woman has been the most demeaning experience of my life.

More like de-manning, am I right? Hahaha! Oh, lighten up, ladies, it's a joke. You'd both be prettier if you smiled more. Peter, why don't you cheer your sister up with a little kiss?
She- he isn't my sister. We hadn't even met before today.

Even more reason for you girls to get to know each another. How about giving her tits a squeeze. You know you want to.
But... my wife reads this newspaper.

Your wives are too busy fucking their poolboys to care what their penniless, dickless husbands are doing. You want to get paid, don't you?
... f-fine...

There, that wasn't so hard. So how does Barry taste?
*retching* Like a pub ashtray.

Great. Keep going. A little more tongue. No. A lot more tongue.