Okay, Homer as a sexdoll is prooobably a new low, but it is the season of Halloween... And in my defence, I have consigned the original, totally nude Homer doll to a lead-lined vault.<br />I'll try to steer things back to slightly classier territory.<br />Also, yes, reality has been changed to erase Homer from existence. Which means Frank Grimes is alive again. Yaaay!<br />---------<br />&nbsp; &nbsp;"It isn't that I don't appreciate it, Homer," Ned Flanders said, brushing his fingers pensively through the old soup-strainer. "But if you wanted to give a gift-a-rooney, you could always return the lawnmower. Or the air conditioner. Or-"<br /> "Ned, that's the beauty of it! With the paw you can wish for all the lawnmowers you want," Homer urged, eager to rid himself of the cursed artifact that had brought such misery to his family. "Wishes can be exchanged for goods and services."<br /> "But it just looks so... idolatrous. Are you sure it's safe?"<br /> "Ned, Ned. Would I really give you something with terrible, cursed, unforeseen consequences?" Homer said in feigned outrage. He folded his arms. "Frankly I'm shocked. You could ask for world peace with that thing but instead you're complaining. And you call yourself a Christian?"<br /> "I suppose you make a point, Homer," Ned nodded. "And I guess I do wish I had a little more peace around here..."<br /> Homer sniggered and rubbed his hands victoriously as Ned's wish reverberated in the air. One fossilised monkey finger creaked down with a ripple of energy.<br /> After a pause, Ned looked around. Nothing bad had happened. In fact, nothing appeared to have happened at all. The Simpson's abode was exactly as it had been, the photos of Marge and the children hanging on the wall as they always had. There was just beautiful unbroken silence.<br /> "Oh, my!" Ned gasped, suddenly catching sight of the thing propped up on the couch. Had that always been there? The sexdoll squirmed slowly, staring at him and the paw with wide eyed panic. It's mouth was open, though only a quiet squeak emerged.<br /> "Now why would a nice, single lady like Marge want to keep such a sinful thing around the house?" Ned pondered.<br /> Ever since Maude had died in that tragic stadium accident years ago, he'd had a fond eye for the beautiful, blue-haired single mother next door. It couldn't be easy raising that hellion boy all by herself.<br /> "Looks like she just needs a man around the house to get her back on the straight and narrow," he said aloud to nobody, tucking the paw into his pocket and turning to leave the disgusting doll behind.