&nbsp; &nbsp;Old age body swaps are a high-stakes game, entered into only by those with nothing to lose or risk-taking young men who fancy themselves immortal, but if you have a cool head and low blood pressure, you can win big.<br /> But if you lose...<br /> Pensioners will wager their life savings on bodyswaps in a youthful body. All governed by Swap Clinic contracts and theoretically temporary, like any exchange, but there's a cold-blood arithmetic that underlies the whole thing. There's a lot of negotiation, scouring of medical records, tallying of Charlson scores. A week, six months, a year, it all depends what they're willing to pay, and what you're willing to risk.<br /> Mildred is my third and biggest gamble. I'm stuck as her while she savours the best half of my 20s. After that time, I get my body back with a cash payment sufficient to set me up for life, and she leaves old and destitute. If her body kicks the bucket before then, well... winner takes all.<br /> I'd be nothing without my Boys, my support crew. When I'm working, they deliver my groceries, drive me to my doctor's appointments and hydroaerobics classes. They're such dears. And when I'm not an old woman, during the downtime where I burn through my winnings, they get treated to enough hookers and cocaine to kill a bear.<br /> I just hope they have the patience for this one.<br /> "Mm, Mildred, you sold yourself short," I smile, scrutinising my 'end' of the bargain the first time. "Oh, yes, I can definitely work with this. A little plump but I'll soon have the weight off." My wrinkled hands cup my still-juicy cheeks. "And I'm sure my Boys will love to give me some vigorous cardio."<br /> Hey, just because you're old, doesn't mean you can't have fun.