Still in a bit of a funk so I might not be posting for a while. Scraped this half-made caption out of the junk pile though

"Oh crap, my husband's home!"

"You're married?!"

"Uh huh. To a total psycho. Why do you think I fell for a sweet guy like you? Ugh, they must have let him out early on parole."

"Oh shit..."

"It's okay! I can hide you! I know a little magic. Let me just remember the spell... okay. Nrut ym teews dneirfyob otni a odlid!"

*BZZZT*

"Aaah! What did you do?! Where are my arms? My legs?"

"I just turned you into a dildo. Now shush. If he figures out you're my boyfriend... well I don't even know what punishment he'll come up with for a rubber dildo like you."

"Whoa, I feel so tiny in your hand. Wh-wait, what are you doing with me?"

"Putting you somewhere he won't find you. Just hope he doesn't expect a blowjob from me, otherwise we'll both fucked."