Dude. Hello? Dude. Can you hear me? Hello?

Uhhh. Nathan?

Can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear you. You're muffled though.

Oh, thank god.

Bro, it's 3am. The hell are you calling me at this time?

Look, I need you to do me a big favour. Like, a really, really big favour. Can you come round to my place?

At 3am?

It's... it's urgent. Let yourself in. You'll find a... you'll find a doll on the bed.

...what. Define 'doll'.

Like a doll. Like a totally normal doll. Like a six foot tall... latex... Pikachu doll.

Oh god.

I really, really need you to come and release the clasp on the back of the suit. And then turn around and leave. And never tell anyone.

The 'suit'? Which is it, a doll or a suit?

It's a doll.

... You're in the suit, aren't you?

W-what?! Me in the suit? Don't be crazy!

I've known you since college, so let me hazard a guess. So you're telling me you didn't buy a 6-foot pikachu suit off some sketchy Japanese website, didn't try it on unsupervised, and didn't immobilised your dumb ass to the point where you can't reach the release clasp, and can barely call a friend for help?

... Absolutely not. What kind of deranged pervert would do such a thing?

So you don't mind if I use the doll while I'm there, right?

Uhh...

It's just a doll, right?

W-well... Yeah...

So I'm perfectly within my rights to stick my dick in it, right?

You know what, on second thoughts, maybe I'll try calling my mom to come get me out-

It's not like it could even stop me if it wanted to. It's just a stupid immobilized fuckdoll, right?

I changed my mind. Please don't-

See you in twenty minutes.

*click*