"Ho ho ho! And here we have the last name on the list. And what would you like for Christmas little boy- oh..." Santa blinks at the evidently-mid-30s-aged man standing before him. "I feel there's been an administrative error here..."

"But I've still been good, right?" the man asks.

"Well... technically," Santa sighs. "Very well then. Let's see what toys we have for you."

Santa reachs into his enchanted sack. Normally it would conjure up the person's heart's desire but this time it is oddly empty. Perplexed, Santa pulls his arm out, only to find his movements sluggish, like trying to move in treacle.

He feels his body warping. His beard evaporates into snowy wisps as a pair of oversized knockers swell on his chest. His thick woolen suit shrinks into a flimsy bra and thong that might have left him shivering in the frigid winter air, were it not for his flesh turning into a glossy rubber.

I can't move! he thought silently as snow began to accumulate on his immobile form.

"The only toy I wanted for Christmas was a slutty little Santa sexdoll. How did you know?" the man exclaims.

This is why I check the list twice, Santa whimpers as his dollified form is tucked under the man's arm and carried inside.