Silicone vs saline. The age old conundrum. Which is the best when it comes to breasts implants.

I found one better - ectoplasm. An ephemeral goo trapped halfway between this plane and the next, it has unparalled softness while maintaining fullness, and possesses a warmth and energy that has made my implants the envy of Hollywood. There aren't many actresses out there that don't boast a pair.

Heck, it's cheaper even than saline. I just take the device down to any old graveyard or haunted mansion, hit the switch and the machine does the rest - ensnaring the spirit, exteriorizing them onto the material plane, and then rendering them down into that wonderful goo that is then pumped into thick plastic sacks to maintain the spirit's shape as a perfect pair of perky tits (and help to muffle the wails).

Human rights? These things aren't human. Besides, you think some crusty old Californian pioneer is complaining about an afterlife inside Kim Kardashian? They probably love it.

Drawbacks? Side-effects? No more than with any regular implant. Like saline or silicone, there's always the risk of an implant rupturing. That's why we recommend frequent check-ups by a qualified doctor or priest, just as a precaution, simply to ensure the contents haven't migrated elsewhere in the body, such as as the, uh, brain.