You arrive home after a long day at work, exhausted and disgruntled. You step through the front door and lock it behind you. "Babe, I'm home." You look around the house. "Babe?"

A faint, muffled voice is heard from behind you. "Just a sec." You turn around to see short, shaggy auburn hair peek from under the bathroom door. It continues to slide out and then folds upwards to reveal to be nothing more than a the freckled face of a woman, flat enough to fit under the door but full of life. "Sorry, the AC shut the bathroom door while you were gone."

You walk over to the closed door and grip the handle. "Here, sorry I forgot to prop the door open again." You open the door as it slides over the top of the rest of her body, also inexplicably flattened out to a width of 1 centimeter. It looks like a poster of the bare backside of a tall, thin, densely-freckled, redhead lady, although her buttocks and thighs were anything but thin. The lack of any depth also meant that she had no butt crack either. Her orifices lay bare.

"Thanks babe. It would've taken too long get through there by myself."

You grab her by the shoulders and lift up, revealing her front. Despite best being described overall as 'flat,' using the word 'flat' as a euphemism would be incorrect. A naturally large chest is of course, expected to sag, but holding her straight up by the shoulders, each blanket-like breast draped down, acting like a set of thin curtains that draped so far they revealed her belly button, and even crotch just between the two of them. As it is a familiar sight to you however, your thoughts are elsewhere. "I'm surprised you made it under the door in the first place. How long did it take?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Well I'm proud of you. You're making a lot of progress. Five months ago you couldn't even move, let alone talk. Now you can manage to make your way around the house without needing me here."

"Well I still can't use the stairs."

"Well, technically you can, just not upwards."

She snickered. "Oh stop it, babe!"

"Little parachute babe."

"Babe~!"

You both chuckle. "I missed you."

"I missed you too babe." She lifts her flat arms and wraps them around your shoulders. You bring her in closer, and fully embrace her. She wraps her legs around your waist, now completely off the floor and held up by you. She is as light-weight as a blanket, and her grip around your body is soft and frail. She runs her fingers through your hair as her bright blue eyes peer into yours. It's not hard to tell that she's blushing. You're sure she's holding her own weight up with her arms and legs, so you release with one hand and bring it to the back of her head. You slide your fingers through her messy hair. You see the front her face deform from your fingers massaging her scalp on the back of her head. It feels like a fuzzy blanket. She closes her eyes and you move your hand to the side of her face. You brush some hair off her forehead, out of the way of her eyes, and begin to softly brush her cheek with your thumb. You close your eyes as well.

It's very faint, but you feel her gradually tighten her grip and pull herself closer. You offer no resistance to the weak pulling, and eventually, your lips meet, though with no depth, your lips also touch the back of her throat. You hold the kiss, careful not to accidentally suck her into your mouth. You move your hands down and begin to gently stroke her back. Her skin wrinkles and gives way to your rubbing fingers. You feel your own fingers on your chest through her flat body, lightly pressing up and massaging. She is merely a thin layer between your hands and your shirt. You lower yourself, and sit on the ground, before lying on your back on the carpet.

Your embrace lasts for a few minutes before you both ease off. You unwrap your arms from each other, and she pushes her upper body up, hands on the ground. You both open your eyes. You are looking directly up at her, and she is looking directly down at you. Her smile is beautiful, but you can also see that she's shaking because it's taking every ounce of her strength to simply hold her pancake-thin body up with her pancake-thin arms. Nevertheless, she maintains her mesmerizing gaze and her lovely smile. She lowers herself back to your face and plants a light smooch on your nose. "I love you." She says, before promptly licking the spot where she kissed.

"Oh pff! Babe!" You burst out laughing, rolling over, causing her to unravel from your body and lay facing up on the floor beside you. "I love you too babe." You wipe the tip of your nose with your sleeve. "You gotta warn me next time."

She laughs with you. "I don't gotta do shit. I do what I want. Now come on, let's get back to leveling our characters."

"Alright, alright." You grab your girlfriend off the ground, and swing her around so that she's sitting on your shoulders, however, she can't hold herself up, and just flops downwards. "Ha, you're my cape now."

Her long breasts flopped up onto her face. "Hardy har har. I can't see shit."

You firmly grasp her legs, and begin to run, causing her to flap in the wind. You slide across the kitchen's hard-wood floor with your socks, before running back around to the bedroom, then back out and into the living room before jumping over the couch and landing just shy of the coffee table. You sit down on the couch, facing one of the TVs.

She tries to recompose herself. "Oy vey... You're lucky I love you."

You turn her around on your neck so that she is in front of you, like a bib rather than a cape. You stare down ahead of you, seeing her belly button and crotch. You grab her lower back and pull towards your face and start blowing raspberries on her stomach.

"Ah! Stop! HAHAHA! Stop it! Babe! HAHAHAHAHA!"

You cease your raspberries. "Aw, but I thought you loved me."

"Oh! Don't even go there."

"Spoilsport..." You release your grip.

"Come on... let's just get some levels in before I get some reps in."

"You sure you want to do that this late? The rehab I mean."

"Yeah, better late than never, and also the sooner I can go back to being the one that picks you up, the better."

"Or I could just lay on top of you. Then you'd technically be picking me up."

"If you wanna cut off the circulation to my entire body. Ha. Hell no! I will cut you."

"Like a paper cut?"

"Don't test me buddy, I know where you keep the lemon juice." She began to push her chest off her face, and noticed a bandage on your left hand. "Oh shit, babe what happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing."

"No it's... don't worry about-"

"Babe, babe."

You let out a sigh. "Yes?"

"What happened?"

"Okay... I cut myself on the printer at work."

"You cut... You cut yourself on the printer? How do you even do that?"

"The printer was jammed, so I opened it up, and it turns out, one of the little plastic bits inside had snapped. I didn't notice it, so I flinched when I touched it, and that made it scratch my knuckle. It's not bad, don't worry."

"Is that so? Lemme see."

You let out another sigh. "Fine... fine. Okay, here." You pull her head back up to eye-level and unravel your bandage. The bandage has small amounts of congealed blood on the inside, but none visible on the outside. "See? It's not that bad."

She leans in and gives your knuckle a small smooch. "Now, is it better than before?"

"Y-yeah. It's better now. Thanks, babe."

"Alright, now put that bandage back on, let's fight some goblins!"

You set her down on the couch, as if she was sitting normally, though her head leaned back from its own weight. As you power-on the two TVs and the consoles plugged into them, you look at your bare girlfriend on the couch. "You know, we should really make some clothes that fit you in your... you know... in your current state."

"Aw... but I like being the only one here with you."

"Well I mean like... like if you wanted to go out with me."

"Are you asking for a date? You know I can't exactly be seen in public."

"Right... Don't you ever miss going out?"

"Babe, of course I do... but I wouldn't change back to how I was for the world. I love who we are. Even if I'm flat, I love who I am now, and I love you, and that you don't think of me any different than you did before. You stuck with me even when I couldn't even do so much as blink or even move my eyes. Tomorrow's the one-year anniversary of me going flat. It's a day I want to celebrate, because it's the day that you started proving just how much you care, and as long as I'm flat, you'll keep proving it, and I'll never have any doubt. Thank you for never leaving me."

"Babe... I... Thank you. I love you too, and I love us." You hand her one of the gaming controllers. "And here I was thinking you just liked not having to wear clothes."

"Oh yeah that too. That's a pretty big reason."

"But wow... one year. It feels... longer than that. I mean... well... should I get you something for the occasion?"

"How about a ring?"

"Ah you know how hard it is to find a ring that would fit a flat lady like you. I am trying, babe. I'm trying."

"Well, there are alternatives. I saw a show a while back where the guy tattooed his ring onto his finger so that he'd never lose it."

"Really? Huh... That's kind of sweet, if a bit cheap."

"Babe, please don't spend a fuck ton of money on a shiny rock. You know I'm not into jewelry."

"I know, I know... it's just... I want it to mean something, you know?"

"Babe, it will mean something. It doesn't have to be important to your bank account to be important to me. I just want what we already have right now, but I want it to be official. That's it. No fanfare, no bling, just an official marriage."

"Yeah... I'm just concerned as to who could even make it official without seeing you, freaking out and calling 911."

"Babe, online ceremonies are a thing nowadays. I may be flat, but I look pretty normal from the front. With a webcam -especially a shitty one- no one could tell the difference."

"Yeah but... I... Sorry it's just... My family's always been so... traditional. 'Do it right or don't do it at all' sort of thing. I just don't want to fail to live up to them. Naturally, I... love them too."

"Hey, babe. It's alright. I understand. We'll figure something out when the time comes. If that's what you want, we can find compromises that work for both of us. You don't have to worry about it now though. Right now, we just need to worry about fighting some high-level goblins."

You nod. "Yeah... yeah I guess you're right." You both log into the game's servers. It's a fantasy MMORPG, you're playing as a tall redhead barbarian woman that looks an awful lot like your girlfriend before she was flattened, and your girlfriend's character is a paladin that looks like an awful lot like you. You notice something. "Wait... you're level 120 already? Have you been playing without me?"

"Oh... yeah... about that... So you know how they stopped putting the bunny armor in the event rewards a few months after I went flat? And I was never able to complete the set because I couldn't even hold a controller?"

"I... guess?"

"Well... um... they had an hourly event today."

"Wait... don't tell me."

She pulls up her character's inventory to reveal a full bunny-themed armor set.

Your jaw drops. "Holy... shit."

She is giddy. "I know! Right? The event ended a few hours before you got back but I couldn't pass it up."

"Level 120 though... that's 9 levels in one day. Gosh I'm still level 99."

"It was a tedious onslaught of hobgoblins. I ran through all of my healing items, but it was worth it."

"Geez, it took you the past month to get all those items. The instant revives too?"

"Yep." She tried to nod, but her head simply waved and flopped.

"Damn, but wow. I'm proud of you. You didn't continue our dungeon run though, did you?"

"Oh no, no I didn't. I hopped out of the dungeon, but I did make my way back through it."

"Oh geez, that's probably where you got those 9 levels from."

"Yeah, the backtracking-items make it easy to farm levels in the same dungeon, but now I know that loot doesn't respawn."

"Wait, really? Fuck, there go my plans of catching up."

"Well, you can just piggyback off my grinding and you'll catch up in no time."

"Yeah but the shared EXP is always way less than going solo."

"Trust me, I'm 21 levels ahead of you. The auto-balancing will make your EXP skyrocket."

"If you say so. I never learned the ins-and-outs of the EXP rates."

As a paladin, and thus the damage tank of the duo, she leads the way through the dungeon. "See, you're already making way more EXP piggybacking off my kills than if you were to go solo."

"Wow... that seems like a big exploit." You continue to play with her for a few hours, before reaching the final boss of the dungeon and swiftly defeating him.

The dungeon boss speaks. "Gah, you've defeated me!"

A prompt appears onscreen saying 'players on a team can share EXP from a finishing blow, or betray each other to get all the EXP for themselves.'

You select the button that says 'share.' "Alright, once we deal the final blow, I'll get super high level. I might even catch up to you. I'm almost at level 100, but at this rate, I might be able to skip all the way to level 105 just from the EXP share."

She squints and looks over at you. "You know what?"

"Babe?"

"You... you know what?" She begins to chuckle.

"Babe no."

"You know what?" She moves her cursor from the 'share' button to the 'betray' button.

"Babe please no I'm literally so close to leveling up, I can't lose all this progress!"

"You... know... what?" She selects 'betray.'

"Babe no!"

The screen now reads 'Fight!'

She begins to laugh as her paladin, clad in full bunny armor rushes towards your barbarian. "Come 'ere!"

"Babe! Ah, fuck you! Fuck you!" You try to dodge the onslaught of attacks, but end up taking most of them. You desperately consume healing items one after another in an effort to keep you health above zero.

"Hehehe! Get over here!"

You're losing the fight, badly. Not only is she higher level than you, she's got better gear. Even if those weren't the case, you know she's better at the game than you. You've got to make a desperate move, and fast if you want to keep you progress to the next level. You look around the room. She may have the upper hand in the game, but what about real life? An idea forms. It may be playing dirty, but so is she. You quickly move your barbarian to the far corner of the room before her paladin can catch up, and let go of the controller with one hand. She doesn't notice. You grab one of her legs and pull a foot onto your lap. Now she's noticed.

Her laughter stops. "Babe, what are you doing?"

You brace her floppy leg in the bend of your arm so that it can't move, and quickly begin tickling the sole of her floppy foot with your free hand.

Her laughter turns from mischief to ticklish. "Babe! Hahaha! Babe stop! I can't play the game like this! Babe!"

"You still have your controller. You can play!" In between tickles, you move your hand back to your controller to play, careful not to lose your grip with the bend of your arm, but she's able to recompose herself whenever you stop tickling. She's still winning. How do you keep tickling her while still having both hands on the controller? A new idea springs up. You bring the bend of your arm closer to your face, and press your lips onto her sole. You start blowing raspberries into her foot, feeling the wrinkly skin vibrate against your mouth. Your vision is slightly obscured each time her toes flop up into your face, but you are still less distracted than her. You have the advantage.

"Babe~! Ahaha! B-babe! Please! I... Hahahahaha! I take it back! I take it back!"

You take a short break from the raspberries to inhale and respond. "No take-backsies!" You continue the raspberries, more vigorous than before.

She drops the controller. "Haha! No!"

You charge up a strong attack and unleash it before she's able to pick her controller back up, bringing her paladin's health points to zero. Your raspberries stop.

Her paladin falls to the ground before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. "Really babe? Okay."

You softly nom your lips over the toes of the foot you tickled, and release the bend of your arm. Your barbarian approaches the boss and deals the final blow, bringing your barbarian to level 100, and just shy of level 101. You try to speak with the sides of your mouth, as the middle of your lips are busy holding her toes in place just firmly enough that she can't pull them out. "Whatch? You Deshided to play dirtchy, sho I did tchoo. I could have gotchen like, double the EXP if you choshe tcho share."

She let out a sigh. "You are very, very lucky that I love you."

"Love you tchoo babe."

"Well that's a good point to stop for today. I said I was going to do rehab. Come on, let's go."

"Alrightch, letch's go." You stand up, still gripping her toes, and begin to walk backwards to the office, watching the face of your girlfriend as the back of her head drags across the floor. She's rolling her eyes, and trying to hold back a smirk. Once you reach the office, you gently set her on a bench press set, and remove the bar, replacing it with a long, thin wooden stick that weighs 2 pounds. You release your grip on her toes. "Alright. Do you think you're ready for weights?"

"Eh, it won't hurt to try."

You place small plastic rings on each end of the wooden stick. "Alright, the total weight should be... 4 pounds now."

She lifts her arms up to the bar and tries pushing it up. "Uh... a little help?"

You help lift the wooden stick off the rack, and lightly hold it above her. "You good?"

"Y-yeah I think you can let go." As you let go, the bar drops and lands on her neck. She flinches, but isn't hurt. It's only 4 pounds. She's weak but she's still as durable as a regular human. "Okay... um... I think 4 pounds is still a bit too much. Go ahead and remove the weights."

You remove the plastic rings. "Better?"

She begins to slowly bench press the wooden stick. "Better."

You continue to spot her bench pressing for about 10 minutes. She is building up a sweat. You can tell that she's shaking, but she's powering through it. You grab a bottle of water off the nearby shelf. "You should hydrate. It's been about 10 minutes, and you're building up a sweat."

"Thanks. I'm alright though, I can keep going. Mostly just sore." She leaves her mouth open.

You pour some of the water into her mouth. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"Um... yeah I guess. I got a huge blob of sweat under my boobs. Can you get them?"

"Uh yeah, sure." You grab one of her nipples and roll it back, coiling her breast up like a scroll before wiping her midriff and upper thighs with a towel, then you do the same with the other side. Afterwards, you roll both breasts back onto her midriff and thighs.

"Um, actually that feels pretty sticky now... between my stomach and boobs, that is. Could you just hold them up so they're not touching?"

You grab her chests, and elevate them about a foot above her thigh, resting them gently in each of your palms. The excess flesh drapes downwards. 20 minutes pass and your arms are getting tired. "Hey, I think it's time to drink some more water. Plus I don't think I can keep holding these up."

"Oh, right... yeah, just put the bar back on the bench and drape my boobs over them. Not sure why I didn't think of that before."

You set her breasts down, then give her some more water before placing the metal bar back on the bench press set and draping her chest over the pole. Her chest, however, is now draping onto her face. You quickly notice. "Um, are you going to be alright with you breasts resting on your face like that?"

"Yeah, sure. It's covering my eyes but it's not like I need to see right now."

"Well, is there anything I can do right now that doesn't require me to suspend my hands in the air for half an hour?"

"Eh, well I could go for a massage. All this exercise is making me sore."

"Can do, babe." You move over to the foot of the bench and pick up one of her legs, and move all the way to her foot. You brace the back of her 1-cm-thick foot with your fingers, and softly press your thumbs into her sole. It's sweaty, and more wrinkly than usual. After a few minutes of massaging, you feel it start to grow softer and more limp. It is now fully bent back and resting on your fingers like a rag. You give it a little shake and watch it flop and make a wet flapping sound.

"Oh that felt really good. Go ahead and do the other one."

"Sure thing, babe." You move to the other foot, it is noticeably more stiff than what you had just massaged.

"I think I'll stop pumping the iron... er... stick... once you finish with that foot. M'kay babe?"

"Sounds good." A few more minutes of massaging and now both feet are soft and limp.

"Ahh... Okay babe, I think it's time for a shower." She places the wooden stick on top of the metal bar, then lets her arms flop downwards in exhaustion like wet rags. "I think I broke my previous record for total reps in a minute."

"Nice." You pick her up by the hands and feet and carry her like a bag to the bathroom. "Do you need to take a piss or maybe even a shit before showering?"

"Nah, not really."

"Alright." You lift her up and slide her arms into a towel rack, wrapping her arms around it a few times to keep her secure. You check your bandage, and make sure that your knuckles have fully scabbed before removing the bandage. You use the toilet, then of course wash your hands, before disrobing. You reach to turn on the water in the bath tub.

"Before you do that, why don't we enjoy ourselves a bit?" She asks.

"Oh?"

"Babe, we're already messy, and I've still got some soreness I want out. You've had a rough day at work. Let's enjoy this night."

"R-right." You unravel her arms from the towel rack.

"Are you not feeling up to it?"

"No, it's not that, it's just... thanks."

"Alright! Let's do it in the tub, and wash ourselves afterwards. We're both going to need it."

You step into the tub with your girlfriend and sit down on the floor. "What are you thinking for tonight?"

"Well obviously, no putting you little guy inside me. I know I don't need to say it, but still. Can't risk having a baby before it's official, and I especially don't know how they'd turn out with me all flat like this. Anyways, for me just use your hands, and for you... well I'm practically a rag already. Pick some skin, bundle it up, and have fun."

"What if-"

"I will tell you if you're being too rough, okay babe?"

"You sure?"

"Yes. Now get up."

You stand up. "Right."

"Okay... now um... get up.... you know, what I meant in the first place."

"Oh yeah, just a sec, this is just sudden."

"No worries, this is for you just as much as it's for me."

"Alright, I'm ready."

She puts her arms around your shoulders and gazes into your eyes. "Pick your spot."

"Oh, uh..." You look around, and make sure that she is supporting herself on your shoulders by herself before lifting her legs up and bringing them to your waist. You take both feet, and place the soles on either side of your shaft, wrapping them around, and capping off the front.

"Going a bit experimental this time? I like it. Hold on tight with one hand and give me the other."

You use your left hand to grip the foot-wrapped member tightly, and slide two fingers from your right hand into her. "You sure about this?"

"Just get rocking already, babe."

Your firm grip on the outside of her feet lets you push and pull as the sweat from her wrinkly soles acts as lubricant. You start slow, maintaining eye contact. Her wrinkles provide much texture. She gives a smile, the go-ahead to be a little less delicate. Your massaging with your right hand also speeds up. She closes her eyes and her head begins to fold back limply. She pulls herself closer inwards. You've passed the point of rationality. She folds her head back towards you, now with a face of pure bliss. She leans in for a kiss. You both passionately kiss, your tongues swirling around each other, though hers thinner than a pancake, and yours is unable to fully fit in her mouth.

You feel close to finishing, and break contact with the kiss. Without thinking, you fall slightly, becoming eye-level with her armpit. You try to pick yourself back up, but end up sliding your face right under one of her breasts. You gaze at the fold of flesh under the floppy chest. You're too close to make coherent thoughts. You begin to lick the underside of her breast. You feel with your tongue, the fold where the underside of her chest meets the rest of her flat body. It's wrinkly. She lets out a vocalization. You are unsure what it means.

You struggle to hold it in, feeling the wet wrinkles of her soles slide across your tower. It ultimately becomes too much, and you finish, but continue to lick that crevice under her chest and let your right hand dance in her. You begin to notice her moans, and start to slow down, regaining your composure. You let go with your left hand, but her feet have stuck in place. You readjust yourself to look at her face.

She has a big smile, and slowly opens her eyes. "Wow, babe. That's... that's enough. I finished. You can stop. I don't know what you were thinking with licking my boob, but I think you just awoke something in me. We've got to try that again sometime." She looks down at her feet, them firmly sticking to you. "Did you have a little fun there?"

You catch your breath. "Uh... yes... thank you. That was really good. I don't know what came over me though."

"Well I know what came under me... alright that was stupid. Let's get cleaned before the bacteria on our skin starts to develop a written language of their own."

"Right." You pull her in closer and turn on the faucet. While letting the water warm up, you unwrap her feet from your shaft. As expected, it's full of sticky goo. "Let's get this off of you." You run her feet under the water and use a soapy rag to clean off her wrinkly soles. She's holding back ticklish laughter.

After a few minutes, she interjects. "Alright, alright. They're clean, they are clean. Be sure to wash those hands of yours as well, and maybe your tongue too."

You turn on the shower head, and begin the shower for real. Hot water, just like she likes it. You help her apply shampoo and soap, while showering yourself. Since she's flat, she doesn't have an overhang for her eyebrows, so you need to be extra careful with the shampoo. When you eventually decide to turn the shower into a bubble bath, she floats on the surface just beside you. You both lay on your backs with your face out of the water. "Thanks for today."

She chuckles. "Any time, babe. You know I'd do anything for you."

"Even share the EXP?"

"Oh stop it babe."

You both chuckle together. "Really, all this... it means a lot. I'm just... I'm glad I have someone like you to come home to. I really don't deserve you."

"Oh babe, don't say that."

"No, I mean... I mean- how do I say this? You are amazing. I didn't do anything to earn you-"

"What? Like I'm a prize to you? Is that it?"

"No-no-no-"

"I'm just fucking with you. I get what you're saying, but babe, you know that you've earned my trust. There's no deserving or undeserving. I love you, and you love me. That's all I need to know."

"...Thank you." You spend your next few minutes gently embracing your girlfriend in the bubble bath.

"Wait... Did you get a towel ready?"

"Shit."

"Well you know what that means."

"I doubt you're absorbent enough to... I doubt you're absorbent at all actually."

"Oh come on, babe. Have some fun. You can dry off for real when we get to the bedroom."

"Alright, alright." You drain the water before rinsing the bubbles off your bodies, then turning off the water. You hold your girlfriend in the air and let her drip dry for a few seconds.

"First time using a flesh towel?"

"Uh, yeah. It'd be a bit weird if it wasn't."

"And here I thought I was going to learn something scandalous."

"Oh, shut up, you~." You wrap her around your waist like a towel and step out of the tub. "Yeah, you're not absorbing any of the water."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not." You grab a real towel from a cabinet as you walk to your room. Once you enter your room, you shut the door and unwrap you girlfriend from your waist, before wadding her into a ball and tossing her onto the bed.

"Oh come on, really?"

You dry off with the real towel, then leave the room, and enter the kitchen. You grab a bottle of wine from a top cabinet, as well as a shot glass and a wine glass. You return to your room. "Alright, towel, I hope you're ready."

"Ready for what?" She is still wadded up, and unable to see.

You reach in the wad and pull her head out. "Surprise."

She noticed the bottle of wine. "No way. You remembered my favorite brand. Have you tried it yet?"

"Still no, but I was trying to find a time to save this for, and would you look at that, it's midnight, which means it's the anniversary of your flattening. Let's celebrate. I'll let you pick the movie." You pour a glass of wine for yourself, and the shot glass for your girlfriend. "I'm sorry you can't drink more than this or your blood-alcohol level will be dangerously high, but that just means you'll have more for later."

"Aw, thanks babe."

"What movie are you thinking? Sappy romance? Fantasy romance? Action romance?"

"Now why would I watch actors pretend to love each other... less than I love you?"

"No romance, then?"

She furrows her brow. "Hell no. Have you seen any Kung-Fu movies before?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Oho, you're in for a treat then." She picks up her glass and sips it. "Ah, just how I remember it."

You take a sip from your glass, then start coughing. "Fuck, that's strong."

"You don't drink much, do you?"

You let out another cough. "Not by choice."

"Well, settle down then, I'll pull up the trilogy."

"Trilogy?"

"These three movies aren't very long, only... like an hour or so, give or take ten minutes. You can only rent the trilogy online, and the rental lasts 24 hours, but these three movies are both ironically... and unironically the best Kung-Fu movies you will ever see. Start off strong."

"Well I'll give you the remote then. The ball is in your court."

The two of you stayed up until 4:00 AM watching Kung-Fu movies and sipping wine, taking breaks only to use the toilet, and to cook pizza rolls and mozzarella sticks. By the end of it, you were using her as a blanket, and you both fell fast asleep during the credits of the third movie. Be glad it's your day off when you wake up.