Well, I made my choice. Kate and I had a heart to heart, but despite the passion we shared over the past couple weeks, I knew inside I could not abandon my family. She knew it as well and said that although she felt a little sad, she understood completely and was proud of me for making the right decision. She reminded me again how she looked up to me as an inspiration, and despite my size, that made me feel big.

Kate-

I will admit, I’m maybe a little embarrassed about the bond we shared while she served as my caretaker. The dynamic between us changed as rapidly as my height did, and I think I let my emotions take me along for the ride. I don’t regret it, but I was more than a little concerned that I didn’t act as I should have as a responsible adult. It’s amazing and, frankly...a little scary how the perception of power and responsibility can change with a difference in size. I...expressed these concerns with Kate, apologizing for my behavior, but she put a finger to my lips.

‘Let me stop you right there,’ she said as she gently took me into her hand. ‘I understand that you have a lot of changes ahead of you as you attempt to reclaim your old life. But if there’s one thing I don’t want you to do, it’s beat yourself up over the past. I...enjoyed the time we spent together. I enjoyed it more than you may ever know, and although I am a little sad that it can never happen again, I don’t want to have any regrets. I made my choices...I have to live with them. I want to live with them. And I pray in my heart that you feel the same.’

For weeks I’ve looked up to her literally. Now I do in a whole other way. I wish her the best.

Henry-

Of course, reuniting with my husband was one of the things I dreaded most. Of course he had been mentally preparing himself for the moment for weeks, but how much can you actually prepare to come home to a wife who is only ten inches high?

Our initial reunion was...awkward, to say the least. He simply did not know what to say. It was almost as if he was talking to a stranger.  ‘Hi...um how are you?’ or ‘So, I’m glad it hasn’t snowed.’ It was painful.

Not that it was that easy for me either. I had the advantage of slowly watching Kate get bigger and bigger compared to me on a slow, day-by-day process. When Henry just walked in...it was almost too surreal. We talked a little, with not much to say, before I asked if he could carry me home. His hands are rough...but warm. He held me a bit too tightly at first, but he’s improving.

He has been a great help around the house since I am effectively a dependent now. I mean, I help where I can: a little bit with the cooking, a little bit with the cleaning (although it takes me so much longer now). I can fold laundry, even if each shirt is like a tarp. Life just takes longer now, and it’s something that we are adapting too.

The first night alone was the worst. He awkwardly made me up a little bed in the bottom drawer of the dresser, so I could lift myself in and out on my own. He stripped naked like he often does before bed, and I was again amazed at the vast size of the normal human body. A couple nights ago, we tried to cuddle, with him gently holding me on his chest, keeping me warm as he stroked my body with his finger. I feel like he is slowly becoming more comfortable, and I am as well. We haven’t tried anything more intimate yet...but I feel like we are heading in the right direction.

Hallie-

Where do I even begin with the changes in the relationship between my daughter and myself?

First off, when I first saw her I burst into tears. When she saw her tiny, doll-sized mom crying, she gently picked me up in her hands and held me against her cheek. ‘It’s okay mommy...pwease don’t cwy.’   She is the sweetest thing in the whole wide world. And I guess sometimes children are the quickest at adapting to changes in their environment.

But it must be said that our dynamic has changed almost entirely. While I am still Mama, any degree of authority I had before has all but vanished. I can’t give her orders or tell her what to do anymore. At best, I can make suggestions, or try and work some reverse psychology on her. Because there is nothing less convincing than a tiny, 10 inch tall Mommy, dressed in poofy doll’s clothes, stamping her tiny foot and demanding in a squeaky voice that her child get ready for bed (or brush her teeth, or put her shoes on for school...or anything, really).

Play time is almost my entire day now and is where I exist as both parent and toy. Hallie is absolutely ecstatic to have a tiny live-in doll now, and makes full use of the situation. I’ve lost track of the number of dress-up games and tea parties we’ve had in the last couple days; me sitting there in some ridiculous doll getup, holding out a tiny plastic cup and asking for another cup of imaginary beverage.

Sometimes she takes me with her for nap time. She doesn’t nap all that often anymore, but when she does she likes to snuggle up with me in her hand. She says it gives her good dreams. So I just sigh as I sit there, wedge between her arm and her teddy bear ‘Mr. Bear’, waiting for sleep to come so I can slip out of her hand and out of the room. If I’m lucky...sometimes I end up stuck for the entire time.

Probably the worst was just earlier today when she wanted to do finger painting and decided that ‘mommy doll’ had to join her. The combination of being small, slipping once in the paint, and being handled multiple times led to most of my body being covered in paint. Henry had to give me a warm sink bath afterwards. Actually...that part I rather enjoyed, and I think he did too. We’re going to try that again either tonight or later this week and see where it goes….

But back to Hallie. Don’t get me wrong...she's cute as heck, but the five year old has an energy level that is almost impossible to match. Still, as she puts me in her Barbie van and drives me around the house, I reflect on my life before: the work-at-home mom who, while present physically, was always mentally somewhere else. I have been given the opportunity to spend an unprecedented amount of time with my daughter, to watch her grow up rather than just letting the time fly. It makes me wonder if the shrinking virus is a blessing in disguise. I do, of course, worry what it will be like when she’s older and there are many years until then, so I will try to not worry.

Well, that’s all I have for now. Honestly, things are going well and I’m happy I made the choice to return to my family. It was the only real choice. Kate returns to school tomorrow, and we have already said our goodbyes, at least until summer break. I have to go for now: Hallie woke up and came in and said she had a bad dream and wants to sleep with her mommy doll tonight. I’m not exactly looking forward to being clenched in a sweaty fist for the next half hour or so (more if I can’t find a way to escape), but that’s my job as a mom. <3