Interviewer: pete0101

Interviewee: Tina Tiny

I enter the room, notebook and recorder in hand. My surroundings are a typical little girl’s room: brightly colored walls, small furniture, and toys and clothes littering the floor.  But there are a few exceptions. For starters, a rather large dollhouse occupies the corner of the room: very well kept, and definitely a step up from your average kid’s toy. The elaborate fixtures and tiny furniture seemed to have been placed with meticulous detail. The next is an elaborate little dining set, arranged like the perfect miniature tea party, set up on the toy chest against the wall, complete with the perfect little toy doll sitting in one of the tiny painted chairs. At least I think so...until this doll looks right and me and rises in greeting. Her purple dress, complete with frills, sits perfectly on her tiny little curves as she approaches the edge of the toybox hold our her arm. I step over and carefully squeeze her tiny hand between my thumb and forefinger, admiring how absolutely tiny she is, before sitting cross-legged on the floor. I fight the urge to lift her into the air and examine her more closely, instead clearing my throat.

Me: Miss Tina, it is lovely to finally meet you. Thank you for inviting me into your lovely home. Or… (I gesture to the doll house) ...would you consider that your home?

Tina: (she laughs, taking a seat)  Ha, well I suppose it is now. But you wouldn’t fit so well in there. And you’re very welcome! I’m more than happy to welcome the editor of Size Affairs magazine! The articles you publish have helped me numerous times in dealing with my...ah, stature. I am more than happy to give back, and hope that maybe some of my insights can be helpful for other women dealing with their own doll-sized situations.

Me: In that case, let us get started:

1) What does it feel like to be powerless next to a child? How has shrinking affected the relationship with your children?

-I have to tell you, it takes a lot of getting used to. First off, as an adult and a mom, I feel like I sometimes have this inner need to be able to protect my children in a physical capacity...to hug them, hold them, etc. Shrinking throws all that out the window. My children are way bigger than me, so many times they instead serve as my protectors! It is also a little scary sometimes, because they are still children, and prone to emotion and fits...and since I’m merely the size of a doll to them, I’m pretty much at their mercy. 

I think it’s important to realize that as a shrunken mother, you need to give up some degree of control. You still love your children and want what’s best for them, of course, but you learn to let go much earlier than most parents have to, I feel.

2) What would you say is the most difficult thing about being your size?

-I’d say it has to be getting around and doing things. People take mobility for granted: the ability to simply get up in the morning and walk across the house; to reach up on a shelf and take down something; to open the refrigerator and pull out something to eat. At around ⅛ of my original size, it takes me A LOT longer to traverse a room than it did pre-shrink. I am dependent on others to give me food or lift me up onto surfaces. 

That being said, I’m still a mom and try to give my kids as normal an experience as I can. That’s why you’ll find me hoisting huge pieces of bread and scooping out truckload of peanut butter and jelly, all in the name of making a sandwich for my little ones. And I still like to be there to tuck them in, simply sliding down a ribbon I have attached to their bedposts after they close their sleepy eyes. I may be small, but I am still capable!

3) What would you say is the best thing about being tiny?

-Ooo, really, it’s the being tiny part, hehe. I get to interact closeup with so many things now. When a toy rolls under a cabinet, Mommy is there to save the day! I certainly eat less and our water bills have gone down since I only need a small sink bath. When I was a young girl, I played with dollhouses and always dreamed of living in one. I guess dreams really do come true!

4) Do you still have an active sex life with your significant other?

-Eh heh. Um...yes! I’m very small, but I’m still a woman who enjoys adult attention. Being able to fit in my husband’s big hand is quite exquisite, as is what he has learned to...do to me. Also, let me just say that being eight inches tall gives a completely different meaning to ‘Ride ‘em, Cowgirl!’ I’ll leave it at that.

5) How do you discipline your young ones?

-Oh, very carefully. It’s well known that children emulate their parents, so I have to be very careful. I’ve heard too many stories of shrunken moms being spanked by their own children. I have never, ever spanked or struck my children in any way, as much as because I don’t believe in it, as I would hate to have it done to me. I do initiate time-outs when the children are too rambunctious...but I usually need some husband or babysitter support to actually make it stick. As a doll mom, you need to realize that many times you won’t be listened to or obeyed, strictly due to the size difference…so save the stern voice and discipline for situations that truly warrant it.

6) Do your young ones discipline you?

-Um...yes. Like I said, I’m thankful that my children have never spanked me (they don’t even know what that is). However, I have been placed in ‘time out’ before...actually, quite a few times. Common areas I find myself serving time outs are the back of the doll house, the closet and the toy box. I just usually hope the child instituting the punishment remembers to come back and get me...I have spent a few longer-than-I’d-like stints in the toy box.

There are times that I feel like I’m being disciplined, but I don’t think it is the intention. Too many times I have been grabbed at bed or nap time, squeezed into my child’s sweaty palm as I count down the minutes, hoping their grip slips so I can sneak away. And my daughter has always enjoyed playing with doll-sized cars. Guess who her favorite passenger is….

7) Do you still to do chores around the house?

-Oh yes! I cook a little and try to prepare meals when I can. I clean...being small, I can fit in certain crevices and nooks. Some things I can’t really do anymore, like laundry. I’d hate to get caught in a load and end up in the washer. And I keep well away from the vacuum cleaner! Eek!

8) Ever been brought to show and tell?

-Hahaha...yes. Once. My daughter smuggled me away one day when my husband was just a little too busy to check on me before leaving. When the backpack pocket finally opened, I was greeted with a hand around my waist and dozens of curious peering faces. The teacher, Ms. Fran, noticed right away and let my daughter show me off, you know: “This is my mommy” , “Sometimes I use her like a dolly” , “She’s too small to use the bathroom”...and all sorts of other embarrassing things. Fortunately, the teacher then took me away and called my husband to come get me. It took him a while to arrive, and the whole time Ms. Fran was awfully friendly and liberal with picking me up and moving me around “for my own safety.” Haven’t been smuggled back in since.

9) What is your most embarrassing memory as a toy size mother?

-Oh gosh...it had to be at the playground a couple years ago. We were all out, and I was hanging around the stroller like I usually do when my daughter ran up and grabbed me. She took me to play in the sandbox and this other boy was amazed at how small and lifelike I was. He offered her two Ring Pops for me...and...sigh...she took them. I told her not to do it, that mommy was not for trading...but she really wanted that candy. Anyway, I was so scared as the kid took me to play with his trucks, telling me how he was going to put me into his tricycle trunk later and take me home. My husband was frantic, and eventually found me, forcing a tradeback.

From that moment on, there has been a very strict “No trading toys” rule, and especially “No trading mommy.”

10) What’s your fondest memory as a toy size mother?

-I think it’s hard to pinpoint just one, but being a doll isn’t always bad. It really helps me feel closer to my children. There are nights when they want me to snuggle them to sleep...and those nights I feel oh so very loved. And, steering away from my children for a moment...I’ve found that I very much enjoy being held by other adults. It makes me feel tingly, and I know that I have probably blushed a few too many times in my husband’s or the nanny’s hand.

11)  Are you carried allot by your loved ones? And what is your favorite way to be carried? What is your least favorite?

-Well, for starters: yes. Being doll sized, I get handled a lot. Most commonly I am just grabbed and carried around in hand. It’s not so bad once you get used to it: Actually, hands can be quite warm at times, which feels very nice around my tiny body. My advice to all the dolly ladies out there is to get in the habit of raising your arms to the sky when you see a child approaching. 9 times out of 10 they’re going to wrap their fingers around your midsection and raise you up into the air, and that experience is usually much better when your arms aren’t pinned to your sides.

As for least favorite, I don’t like pockets. I’m a little tall for them, so it usually means I get shoved down into them uncomfortably. I have also been dumped in my children’s little plastic buckets when at the beach or the pool. Or in other various containers. Generally, I guess I don’t like being shoved into things.

12) Also how are you generally transported when out in public?

-That’s a good question. Really, I get carried in hand the vast majority of the time. The best is when the children are taken out in their stroller: they hold me in their lap and it feels like I’m getting a ride too. We’ve taught them to be very gentle with mommy, and most of the time it works works out wonderfully.

13) Many young girls are known for their enthusiasm when it comes to accessorizing their dolls, play allot of dress up now that your doll size? What is that experience like?

-Oh gosh...you have no idea. When I was a little girl, I also loved dressing up my dolls. If I had a walking, talking mommy dolly back then...I think I would have gone nuts. I’m just so interactive and soft and warm compared to the plastic dolls that, frankly, my daughter doesn’t play dressup with any other than me. We’ve purchased a lot of outfits from special stores that cater to shrinkees like me, so she has an almost endless supply of options to change me into.

As for what the experience is like...well, to be frank, imagine having to change into new, random outfits multiple times a day. At first, it was really difficult because she would be kind of rough with me. But now she’s much gentler, and most of the time I dress myself. But she’s young and still gets excited...so I often find myself scooped up, stripped naked and stuffed into some mismatching outfit, despite my complaints.

14) What is a bathroom routine like for a doll size mom? Swim in a giant tub or bathe in a hot tub sized sink? How do you handle cough your business in a bathroom made for giant's?

-Oh well...um (she coughs). Well, you hit it on the head...being the size of a doll makes it a bit difficult to use the indoor plumbing. Truthfully, I need a lot of help in this department, but everyone has been wonderful. My children are all potty trained, so they understand that it is important when mommy says she needs to use the potty. Now...do I think that it’s embarrassing to be help up over a potty by my kids while I do my business? Yes...endlessly so. However, have I come up with something better yet? Um...no.

Bath time is certainly different. I do take a lot of sink baths, as the tub is a bit deep for me, and frankly, it’s more like a small pond. However, sometimes my hubby runs me a nice, warm bath and I get to take my time and swim around and really unwind. I recommend every dolly mom take some time for herself every now and then. We can talk more about this some other time, if you like.

15) Do you have a choice when your kids want to play with their "mommydoll"?

-(As if on cue, a small girl, no more than five, appears at the door. She looks at me shyly, peeking in from the entrance.) Haha...well, does that answer your question? Looks like it’s playtime again, so I’m afraid our interview is over. I hope you had a chance to ask what you wanted.

As I leave the room, the girl excitedly runs to her doll-sized mom. I see Tina smile as she raises her arms up before being lifted into the air by the stronger child and carried over toward the dollhouse. I leave with a sense of contentment that despite such shortcomings, things can and do go alright for the little doll mom.