Lessons in Life, Lessons in Love 

chapter three

-----

Friday

    The morning sun was rising over corn fields, casting a golden-

orange light across the land.  I sat quietly on the porch, watching the

sun coming up and replaying last night in my mind repeatedly.

    I was stunned at myself, ashamed from what happened between us and

afraid of how Sapphire and Emerald would feel.  It scared me, scared me

like I'd never been scared before, not even when I was threatened at

knife point by my ex-wife.

    How could I explain to them that I couldn't help myself, that I

couldn't stop what happened, even if I wanted to?  I had never felt

that kind of lust and depth of needing for as long as I could remember.

Even when I was really involved with someone, I wouldn't let myself get

totally out of control, either physically or mentally.  But last

night... gods, last night.

    The moment I was awake I separated away from them, and had come out

here.  I instinctively took my normal human form, ignoring the chill in

the air or the breeze passing by me.  I didn't want to talk yet, I

needed to think.  I needed to be alone for a while, with my own

thoughts.

    We had treated this thing like a game, the last two days.  It was

fun, it was exciting, it was erotic as all hell.  But after what

happened last night, I was worried and afraid down to the core.  Afraid

of them, afraid of myself.  What I might do without realizing it.  I

couldn't just simply go on like nothing happened, I would be lying to

myself and to them.

    The sun kept slowly rising in the sky and I watched it, the clouds

dancing past in bright colors.  Everything seemed more alive to me,

more vibrant, sharper and more distinct.  Only my thoughts were

muddled, flashes of what-if? and why? and most importantly, how could

I?

    I knew I had to go and face them, try to explain, and work things

out.  Maybe they would understand why I was so afraid of them, afraid

of showing my feelings so openly with them.

    Standing up, I took a last look at the sunrise and headed back

inside.  At least inside I could do a few things before they'd awaken

and we'd have to talk.

    They still lay there on the floor, the puddle that was both of them quiet.

I walked gingerly around them, going over to the camera and the recorder.  As

discreetly as I could I stripped down the equipment and headed back into the

library, storing it and the tape in the closet.  Maybe later I'd look at it, but

for now I wanted to try and forget what had occurred.

    A cold glass of milk helped calm my stomach and I settled down on

the couch.  The blob was beginning to stir, and I watched as it split

into two like an amoeba, the smaller forms quickly taking shape into

Sapphire and Emerald, both of them looking rather worried themselves.

    They blinked and shook their heads, sighing deeply.  "Silver?"

Emerald said plaintively, seeing me over on the couch, "what happened?

What's wrong?"

    "What's wrong?"  I looked at them both, locking their eyes with

mine.  "Everything.  Everything's wrong, and I don't know what to do

about it."

    I stood up and started pacing around the room.  "What happened to

us last night?  Do you have any idea?  I damned near raped you

repeatedly, and I couldn't stop it!  I couldn't stop it because it felt

so damned good and I didn't care!"  My hands were clenched tightly,

trying to keep from breaking into a rage.  "Can't you see what I did to

you two last night?  What I could have done?  Damn it, that's not

right!"

    I collapsed to the floor, feeling myself close to crying.  "I don't

want to hurt you two.  I don't EVER want to hurt you two.  I don't want

to be like some jerk without a single care in the world, using you two

just for his own pleasures.  Gods, I care about you two, more than

words could mean."

    It all spilled out of me, the hurts, the broken marriage, the

failed attempts to get my life in order, then having to move where no

one knew me at all to succeed.  The dreams to find someone I could care

for and would understand, someone who'd respond to that and give me the

same love and caring in return.  The abuses, the hatreds, the dreams

shattered and scattered about like dust.  The delving onto the net, if

just to find someone to talk with, the science fiction and fantasy, the

transformation stories and anthropomorphics, all the fringe elements

that helped keep me sane while I tried to keep my life going straight.

    Sometime during that they came over and started to hug me, still

silent, letting me speak everything that I hadn't been able to say to

them.  My dreams about shapeshifting, about flying, about living a

different life where I wouldn't feel the pressures that my job placed

on me.  The hope that maybe one day I would find a way, but knowing

that it would never happen, the fear and terror I was feeling now over

what had turned from dream to reality to nightmare.

    Tears cascaded down my face as I finally ran out of words, and sat

there quiet, my shoulders shaking from trying desperately from not

breaking down totally.  Trickles of dampness fell on my shoulders, and

I could see that they were crying as well, looking at me with worry in

their eyes.  I reached up to wipe the tears from their cheeks, finding

my hand was shaking.  "Lovers, dears, don't cry.  Please."

    Sapphire sniffed a bit and looked up, her eyes bright with tears.

"Love, we didn't know.  We didn't know you've be so hurt from last

night.  If we had even a hint, we wouldn't have done it.  We wouldn't

have even suggested it between us.  We just wanted to give you what you

wanted."

    I kissed off the tears from them both and smiled wanly.  "Please,

don't misunderstand.  I loved what happened last night.  Gods, if I

wanted to risk it, I'd do it again in an instant.  It frightened me,

though.  Badly.  I was so close to losing myself with you two that

nothing else mattered.  If we hadn't fallen unconscious, we might still

be merged, and unable to break away."

    That made them both turn white.  "Oh gods," Emerald whispered, her

hand going to her mouth.  "If that had happened..."

    "If it had happened," Sapphire hissed through clenched teeth, "we

might have forgotten everything.  We might have even... died."

    That statement hung in the air, making us all look at each other

with genuine fear, the fear of dying together locked in an endless loop

of mutual pleasure.  It sent a chill through me, knowing that we could

have been that close to self-destruction.

    I hugged them tightly and we all fell into a hard embrace, wanting

to feel each other still there.  We didn't want to let go, but finally

I had to get up before my legs fell asleep on me.  Wordlessly we went

over to the couch, settling down and merely snuggling against each

other.

    "Silver," Emerald gently said, "we want you to know that we do love

you.  We've shared so much together, we don't want to lose you.  I

don't want to lose you,"  She looked like she was about to cry again,

and I knew why instantly.

    Eight years old, a church somewhere in the Midwest.  A funeral in

progress, and a very confused young girl wondering why her mother

wasn't with her, and why they wouldn't let her look at the box up

front.  Her father kept telling her to sit still, she really didn't

want to be there, and where was her mother?

    Silver shivered violently, the image fading from his memory.  "Oh,

gods, Emerald, I don't want you to think that way.  I'm not going to

leave you alone, I don't want to leave either of you.  But I need time

to think things through, that's all.  It's too much, too fast."

    Sapphire nuzzled and kissed my cheek, sighing.  "We need to take

some time from this.  Get our minds cleared so we can start thinking

rationally again."  She looked at me, then glanced at Emerald.  "Got

any good suggestions?"

    I let out a chortle.  "We could go shopping."

---

    Trust a suggestion so mundane, so plain and ordinary to do the job

where nothing else would.  With a speed approaching sonic we quickly

got dressed in the most comfortable outfits we could find, piled into

my poor abused car and took off down the road towards I-35 and the

drive to Des Moines.

    Sure, there was a mall in Ames.  But if you wanted to shop, you

went to Des Moines and the giant mall on the north side of town.

That's where you could find almost anything you'd want,

    The car was quiet as we drove, everyone absorbed in their own

thoughts.  I was so busy driving that I missed Emerald's request the

first time.

    "What?"

    Emerald giggled and leaned closer.  "I said, can you turn on the

radio and find something for us to listen to?  I'm tired of the quiet."

    I turned on the radio, and found it was set for the classic rock

station, 94.3FM.  Otherwise known as Rock94.  The tune was fading out,

but suddenly the voice of Bob Seeger came through the speakers.

    "Don't take those old records off the shelf

     I'll sit and listen to them by myself

     Today's music ain't got the same soul

     I like that old fashioned rock and roll!"

    We started rocking to the beat, Emerald dancing in her seat behind

me while Sapphire clapped to the music.  It was what we all needed,

something to unwind to as we headed on down the highway.  Road music

the way it's meant to be enjoyed.

    Northgate Mall was already in full swing when we drove up.  Finding

a parking spot took only a little while, then it was off into the mall

itself.

    I wasn't worried about the money, I had plenty in the account and

the credit cards were fully paid up.  Although on walking in, we saw

signs in the stores saying they weren't taking certain credit cards at

this time.  Most of them were banks in New York, which reminded us of

the seriousness of our situation.

    Fortunately we were all in plain, ordinary human forms, if both

Sapphire and Emerald looking rather fetching in their own ways.  I had

to grin, knowing that walking around with the ladies would make other

males rather envious.  But I didn't care, I was having fun and so were

they.

    Some things never changed.  First stop, the bookstores to check for

the latest releases.  We all bought a few fantasy novels, signaling

with our eyes agreement on why we were getting them.  Which was for

researching later on.  A few art books as well, usually ones with good

wildlife images, as well as some of the anthropomorphic comics I like.

Next was the record stores, I needed to get some new music to listen

to.  A few classic rock collections like Alan Parsons Project,

Supertramp, Fleetwood Mac and others helped get me into a better mood.

Emerald picked out a few as well, while Sapphire surprised me by

getting some classical albums.

    Clothing I thought might be a problem, but they surprised me again.

Rather than the usual stores, they took me straight towards... a

sporting goods store?

    "For clothes?"

    "Sure!"  Emerald grinned, then whispered a bit lower just so we

could hear.  "Think about it.  Spandex and lycra.  If we're going to be

constantly changing sizes, why not have clothes that could stretch to

fit us?"

    I thought about it and realized it made sense.  Wearing sports

clothes might be a little unusual, but where we lived, it wouldn't

matter much.  Not anyone else would be around to look, and when it came

to work, I could always make sure I was the same every day.

    With that in mind, we quickly ran up quite a bill on outfits.  We

tried on a number of outfits, from swimsuits to jogging clothes, to

what could only be called beachwear.  Every piece was checked to make

sure they could take the stress of changing sizes.

    During the time in the store, I noticed a rather unsavory character

watching us closely.  Or rather, watching Sapphire.  Whenever she went

off by herself, his head would follow around, looking like some vulture

after prey.  It bothered me, and when she came back, I whispered it

into her ear.

    "I don't like the way he's looking at you," I hissed.  She nodded,

and looked at him, now paying attention to some weights.

    "Neither do I.  Let's get out of here."

    We paid for our purchases and headed back into the mall, the guy

following behind moments later.  We picked up our pace, and managed to

get to the car, our packages piled into the back seat.  Turning to get

into the car, our eyes met the one following us, along with two others

who apparently were his 'friends.'  He was looking straight at

Sapphire, but in his hands was a long switchblade.

    "Now, don't say anything, and no one gets hurt.  I just want to

talk with the lady there for a moment."  His voice was as oily as his

complexion, the others looking like they hadn't had a bath in a week.

    Sapphire gave the guy a look of scorn.  "Why should I even talk to

you?  You don't have anything that would interest me."

    "Oh, but that's not true, pretty lady."  The knife flicked a bit in

the light, and I stood still.  "I've got plenty that you might like."

    I cursed as we were partially hidden from sight, several trailers

parked like a shield.  Anyone who could see us would have to walk up on

top of us.

    The others started moving a little closer.  Emerald and Sapphire

both stepped back, and the knife holder grinned.  "Now what do you

think you're going to do?  It's just you against us."

    His hand flashed out and the knife buried itself in my stomach.  I

grunted in surprise, but it was the surprise not of pain, but of a

peculiar feeling.  There was no pain at all, no blood, nothing other

than the odd tang of metal.  I blinked for a moment in confusion, then

looked up at the equally confused look on his face.  Without thinking

about it, I wrenched his hand off of the blade, causing him to go

flying into the side of one trailer.  His companions went to his aid,

helping back to his feet.

    I reached down and pulled the knife out of my stomach.  For a

moment I toyed with it, then taking the blade in one hand, proceeded to

bend it in half and tossed it at the feet of him.  "Here's your toy

back," I said as calmly as I could, and nodded to Emerald and Sapphire.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

    We piled into the car and proceeded to drive off as quickly as we

could.  I was shaking, and not from just the attack.  Emerald was

checking the spot where my shirt was torn, the rend visible but no sign

that anything had happened to me at all.

    "This is amazing," she kept repeating, her fingers lightly probing

my stomach.  "It's like you weren't even stabbed."  She looked up at

me, eyes filled with concern.  "Are you ok?"

    "I'm fine," I reassured her.  "I'm just... shocked at what

happened.  Sapphire, are you ok?"

    Sapphire nodded shakily.  "I'll be all right," she said weakly.

"I just need to try and forget this.  The way he looked at me... felt

like his hands were all over my body.  Like..."

    My mind flashed an image.  A darkened bedroom, a middle-aged man

bending over me.  "Hush, sugar," he whispered.  "Daddy's gonna make you

feel better."  He slid into bed, his hands running all over my body,

making me want to crawl away... before I could move, he was on top of

me, and I felt a pain between my legs...

    I yanked the wheel and slammed on the brakes, the car coming to a

stop on the shoulder.  Lurching out of the driver's side, I fell to my

hands and knees and threw up, silvery-grey goo pouring from my mouth.

I heaved several times, trying to get the image out of my mind and the

sudden pain in my soul.

    Sapphire and Emerald were at my shoulders, holding me up.  I

coughed, sputtered and finally stopped, the goo dissolving slowly in

the grass.  With a trembling I stood up and managed to get back to the

car.

    "Get him inside," Emerald commanded to Sapphire.  "I'll drive.  I

know the way home."

    I was bundled into the back seat, Sapphire against me tightly.  I

held onto her, sobbing uncontrollably from what happened.  She nuzzled

my head and shushed me into silence.

    "It's ok, lover," she reassured me.  "It's in the past, and it

can't hurt me now."  Her fingers stroked my cheeks and gently touched

my lips.  "Just relax, we'll all be home soon."

    I whimpered and hugged her tightly.  "I'm sorry, Sapphire... I'm so

damned sorry... that shouldn't happen to anyone."  I couldn't get it

out of my mind yet, it burned inside of me.  "Your own father..."

    "He got what he deserved," she said distantly.  "He's in jail now,

and he'll be there a long, long time.  And I have my life," she

remarked, sitting a little more straight.  "I have something to look

forward to, and I have you and Emerald.  Those things I wouldn't trade

for anything."

    I choked a bit, and looked at her.  "I know," I whispered in a

ragged voice.  "Gods, I know.  I want to make it up to you.  Both of

you."

    "You will, lover."  Her fingers caressed my cheeks again and I fell

silent.  "You will."

---

    By the time we got back to the house, I was feeling somewhat

better.  Not totally, no.  It would be a while before I could get the

memory of what happened out of my system.  But at least I was beginning

to understand and deal with it, accept it as a part of the past and not

the present.

    The girls surprised me as I was drinking some milk by walking in

wearing some of the new outfits.  They both looked good in them,

Sapphire dressed in a red and yellow jogging suit, while Emerald wore a

blue swimsuit with a matching skirt.  "We're going to give you a little

time," Emerald said as they showed off their outfits and their bodies.

"You need to get yourself back in order, and to be honest, so do we.

So, we're going to do a little jogging."

    "Mmmm, ok," I replied, rather enjoying the sight of them in the new

clothes.  "Just don't give any of the farmers around here heart

attacks?  Just because you two are drop-dead gorgeous..."

    Sapphire laughed and kissed me warmly.  "You're a pretty good

knock-out yourself," she said with a hint of humor.  "We won't be long,

maybe an hour.  Just down the road a ways and back."

    "Be careful," I reminded them both.  "And don't try to show off.

We need to stay cautious, and tearing down the road like the Roadrunner

isn't going to help."

    "Don't worry, we will."  Emerald blew me a kiss, and they skipped

out the door, closing it behind me.  I stood there in the empty room,

for the moment wrapped in solitude.

    I put on one of the CDs I had bought, the Supertramp one.  Their

music was always good to listen to, and helped to break me out of the

depressed feelings within me.

    "I'm a winner, I'm a sinner,

     Do you want my autograph?

     I'm a loser, what a joker

     I'm playing my jokes upon you

     'Cause there's nothing better to do."

    I snorted at that line.  Certainly there was something better to

do, and I knew what else would help me there.  A little time online.

If there's one thing that can help me, it's always being on the

computer.  I needed to anyways to catch up on my mail, maybe see who

was around and if any of my friends would help.

    Heading into the library, I went to the desk where my computer was

sitting.  With practiced regularity, I turned on everything and waited

for it to finish booting (damned slow Windows98), finally got the

desktop and brought up the connections to the university network.  Once

I was logged in, I grabbed my mail then thought a bit.  Maybe the IRC

would have someone I could talk with or ask.

    I went over to one of the Unernet servers, searching the channels.

The usual ones were there, business as usual for the net.  But for some

reason one caught my attention, simply marked #foxie.  It was set as

invite only, and there was only one person in there, someone using the

nick NYNights.  I sent a message off.

/page NYNights Hello.  May I join you?

    I didn't expect a response, and was surprised when I saw:

NOTE NYNights Please do.

    I typed /join #foxie, and another window opened up.

NYNights: Hello there.  Are you in New York?

Quiet1: No, I'm not.

NYNights: Oh.  I was hoping someone else here in New York was online,

most of the net links are down from here.

Quiet1: Ah.  Ok.  No, I happened to be passing through New York when...

NYNights: Oh?  Did you drink the water?

    I paused a moment, then shrugged.

Quiet1: Not immediately.

NYNights: But you did eventually drink the water, didn't you?

Quiet1: Yes.

NYNights: Before or after you found out what's happened to us here?

Quiet1: After.

NYNights: You knew what was going to happen to you?

Quiet1: Yes.

NYNights: How have you been dealing with it?

    Hrmm.  Whoever it was, apparently they had no problem with what had

happened.  Or they had gotten used to it.

Quiet1: Slowly.  Learning to adjust.  It's not been easy.

NYNights: No, it's not.  Most folks here are barely staying stable and

alive.

Quiet1: I know.  I've seen the news.

NYNights: Have you learned to shift your form around?

Quiet1: Yes.

NYNights: And?

Quiet1: We're learning a lot.

NYNights: We?

Quiet1: Three of us here.  Drank the water a few days ago.

NYNights: Lucky bastard.  I wish I had someone here to help me deal

with this.

Quiet1: Can't leave the city?

NYNights: City's locked down, no one can leave.  Military has all the

roads blockaded.  Might be a week or a month before we might be able to

leave here.  Maybe never.

Quiet1: Oh.  Where would you go?

NYNights: Anywhere else.  I don't know, I just need to get away.

People going crazy, getting bizarre, hard to keep your sanity the way

things are now.  Ever seen Demon City Shinjuku?

    I blinked in surprise.  Anime?

Quiet1: Yes, I have.  I've seen it a few times on Sci-Fi.  That bad?

NYNights: That bad.  There's still an orgy in Times Square, must be

over 200 folks joined together.  Some folks wandering about in bizarre

forms, taking anyone they can grab.  Mostly males, a few females.

Quiet1: I can believe it.

NYNights: What about you and your friends.  Male or female?

Quiet1: I'm male, two females.  Lovers.

NYNights: Damn.  And you all drank the water?

Quiet1: Yes.  We decided to.  Group decision.

NYNights: How is it with you three?

Quiet1: We're still adjusting.  A lot to learn.

NYNights: Wish I was where you are, must be nice having another to

share with.  Two, I envy you.  ;>   Don't mind sharing?

Quiet1: I'd...  get used to it eventually.

NYNights: I bet.  ;>

    I had to laugh at that bit.  NYNights was one, like us.

NYNights: So what's it like?

Quiet1: Intense.  We've taken over a half dozen forms already.

NYNights: Wow!  You all must be real good at it.

Quiet1: Helps if you've role-played before, or can visualize strongly.

Better you can visualize, the more complete the form is.

NYNights: That's true.  I used to roleplay, back when I was going to

City University.  What did you try?

    Should I tell them?  Why not.

Quiet1: Elk, drow, panthress, deer, fox, others.

NYNights: Furries, eh?

Quiet1: You on any of the MU*'s?

NYNights: Used to be.  What was your name there?

Quiet1: Thundercloud.  Was a stallion morph.

NYNights: I bet you were popular with the ladies. ;)  Was Jasamine.

Used to be a drow elf.

Quiet1: Could be it for real now.

NYNights: Yeah.  I could, now.  Wolves around here would eat me alive,

though.

Quiet1: I'd stay safe, then.

NYNights: I plan to.  Hold on.

    There was a minute's silence, then she returned.

NYNights: Riot down the street.  Gonna log out here and shut down, in

case I have to run.

Quiet1: Be careful.

NYNights: You too.  Talk later, look for me here.

    The channel closed down, and I sighed a bit.  NYNights seemed like

someone who could help us adjust as well.  We needed to talk to others,

folks who have gone through the same things we have.  I made a note of

her address and put a watch for it on the client, then closed

everything back down.

    Sapphire was standing in the doorway, watching me closely.  "Find

out anything?" she asked gently, curious.

    "Just that things in New York are worse than before."  I snugged

her gently, seeing her still in the jogging outfit.  "I did talk with

someone there, got a little more info, and maybe a kindred spirit."

    "Oh?  What's her name?"

    "NYNights on IRC, Jasamine from one of the MU*'s.  She didn't give

me her real name, didn't ask."  I kicked myself mentally for that, but

instead Sapphire smiled a bit.

    "Going to try and talk with her again?"

    "If she gets back online.  Riot was breaking out where she was, she

had to leave."

    Sapphire nodded seriously.  "It's worse, then.  I hope she makes

it."

    I kissed Sapphire lightly.  "I hope so, too."

---

    The rest of the afternoon passed rather smoothly.  We took our

weights, with Sapphire and Emerald both having lost 3 kilos, or about

6.5 lbs.  I came in at 148 kilos, 323 lbs.  Perhaps what I threw up

made me less massive, but no matter what, we were definitely losing

weight now.

    I spent most of the afternoon reading and enjoying the music, and

spending quiet time with them both.  We all were still adjusting from

this morning's events, managing to find something to hold on to and use

to keep our balance.  My own turmoil had stilled, and while I still had

my doubts and fears, they weren't as troubling as they were earlier.

Maybe I was beginning to really understand what's happening inside of

me, as well as what's happened to me.

    From the looks that they gave me, I could see that they were

concerned.  I smiled gently, and the concern vanished in their eyes.

Each of them spent a little time cuddled with me as I read, just the

simple pleasure of laying against each other being a wonderful

reassurance to us all.

    The evening came along, and we still didn't make any real moves to

do much.  The stereo was the only entertainment playing, none of us

wanting to turn on the television or watch the vcr.  I certainly didn't

want to go back online, much as I wanted to see how NYNights was

faring.  Either she was fine, and I'd be able to talk with her

tomorrow, or she was having to fend for herself.  None of us could do

anything about it, and so we didn't worry about it.

    I put down my book, finally having finished it.  Charles de Lint's

works were always an adventure to read, his Newford warm, witty, dark

and dangerous.  Yet I always took the time to see if anything new was

coming from him, one of the few authors I actively seeked out for my

collection.

    Sapphire and Emerald had been laying against me, idly caressing my

arms as I read.  I was thankful that they had given me a little space

to get my mind in order, and it looked like they had gotten their

thoughts arranged as well.

    I kissed them both, and smiled.  "Feel like going to bed?"

    That got a giggle out of Sapphire.  "Silver, I thought you'd never

ask."

    "Scamps!"  I gave them both light swats.  "I meant go to sleep.

Sheesh!"  Grinning, I winked slyly.  "But... if you can curb your

hedonistic tendencies, I'll consider a little fun with you both."

    They laughed and snugged me warmly.  "I think we can live with

that," Emerald said, giving her sib a wink.  Sapphire grinned and

nodded, and we all headed arm in arm into the bedroom.

    I was thankful that we had clean sheets on the bed, I certainly

didn't want them sleeping on anything that might have been filthy from

two nights ago.  I slipped off my clothes and slid between the sheets,

then smiled as they slid in besides me.

    We lay there cuddling quietly, our fingers lightly caressing each

other as we kissed and nuzzled, a gentle feeling of warmth and caring

filling the room.  It was slow, careful, gentle, unhurried.  We weren't

going anywhere, and had nothing else planned.

    My fingers brushed over their nipples and thighs, while they

nibbled on my shoulders, hands caressing my chest.  I felt a tongue on

the edge of my ear and shivered, then planted a kiss on one set of

lips, then another.  But before I could get any more serious, they both

pulled back.

    "Silver," Emerald whispered, tinged with amusement, "we'd like to

do something different this time."

    "Mmmm?"  I turned my head and looked at her in the low light.  "How

different?  As if we haven't done enough differently already."

    Sapphire giggled a bit, then kissed my cheek.  "We talked while we

were jogging," she explained, "and we decided we want to do one thing

tonight, and only one thing.  But we need your permission to do this,

since it's going to affect you the most."

    I looked at them both, then slowly nodded.  "What do you want to

do?"

    Sapphire fiddled with a lock of hair, and Emerald swallowed a bit.

"We want to try it from the other side," she finally said.  "As males.

And we want you to be female for us both.  So we can show you what it's

like."

    I held my breath, shaking a bit.  Be female?  After what happened

today?  Did I really want to risk something like that?

    A voice spoke in the back of my mind.  If I really loved them, then

I'd be willing to be what they wanted me to be.  Just as I expected

them to be what I wished.  What happened today, it's something to learn

from.  Just as now.

    I slowly let out my breath, and nodded.  Slowly, but nodded in

agreement.  "I will tell you right now, it scares me.  But... we made a

promise, and I won't break mine.  Just... help me get used to it, ok?

Take it slow with me.  I'm not going to be perfect."

    They both hugged me gently and smiled.  "Silver," Emerald replied,

"we're not going to hurt you at all.  Just show you what we enjoy, and

you can show us what you enjoy."

    I had to laugh at that last, it was so typical of her.  "Ok, how do

you want to do this, then?"

    They both slipped out of bed.  "Just lay there, and watch,"

Sapphire said.  She looked at Emerald across the way, and nodded.  "Ok,

sib, let's try it."

    I sat up and watched from the bed, seeing them both on the sides.

Their forms rippled slightly in the soft light, then I gasped as their

bodies became more muscular, the soft curves taking on a more

noticeable sharpness.  Their breasts shrank in size, until they were

flat against the chest, the nipples shrinking as well to small points,

while I could clearly see a male shaft forming from between their legs,

a sac slowly dropping downwards.  Their hair became short, hands going

from slim and petite to hands worthy of a farmer or lumberjack.

    Emerald coughed a bit, then shook her... his head.  "Wow," he said,

his voice deep and rich, "this really feels different.  I mean really

different.  Saph?"

    Sapphire turned his head towards Emerald, his hands rubbing along

his chest.  "Oh, man, this really is strange."  He looked at me and

smiled, the same smile that graced a feminine form.  "It's ok, Silver.

We're still the same, just... male now."

    I nodded again, slowly.  "Give me a moment, let me work myself up

for this."  They nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed as I sat there,

steeling myself inside.  I wanted to do this for them, I really did

deep within.  I just needed to go through...

    My mind brought up the image of both their forms, in complete

detail.  But I didn't want to be a clone of them, I wanted to be

myself, only female.  I thought of myself, smaller, slimmer, more

feminine than before.

    Within me I could feel a churning.  My body started to respond, and

I could feel myself changing slowly.  My face softened, the lips

becoming fuller, hair cascading down my back.  Shoulders took on a more

graceful look, the arms becoming slim with long, thin fingers.  Across

my chest I could feel a twitching, then a pair of breasts took shape,

growing in size until they would have been a perfect 38D.  My hips

slimmed as well, taking that familiar curve every male enjoyed looking

at.  My groin stirred, and I could feel the insides rearranging, my

shaft disappearing from sight as a slit opened below, every bit of me

going from totally male to completely female.

    I let out a soft gasp as the changes finished, then looked at

myself.  Breasts, hips, everything said I was female in every respect.

Even the sensations in my mind had shifted, into a more slow, sensual

state.  I giggled a bit, and watched my breasts jiggle in reaction.

    Lifting my eyes upwards, I stared at Sapphire and Emerald with

wonder.  They looked fondly at me, and I could see that they were

already becoming aroused, their shafts stirring.  Soundlessly I lay

back down on the bed, kicking the sheets off, and they slid down

alongside of me.

    It felt different, strange, normal.  Tongues kissing my mouth, lips

nibbling on my breasts, strong hands caressing my body.  I laughed,

squirmed, giggled in delight at it, my own hands running across warm

chests and down to gently grasp both shafts.  I had stroked myself

often enough, but touching both Sapphire and Emerald in this way sent a

shiver through me and into my stomach and groin.

    They worked me into a heated state, their mouths and fingers

finding spots that made me moan in pleasure.  Sapphire would tease my

breasts, while Emerald's fingers were working between my thighs, each

touch sending bolts through me.  And the first touch of Emerald's

tongue on my clit sent me off into my first orgasm, my insides clenched

tightly.

    I rolled over onto my hands and knees, and grinned at Emerald.

Reaching out, I took his shaft and brought it to my lips, parting them

slightly.  The musky scent made me shiver again in delight, and I

slowly ran my tongue along the tip.  Emerald moaned at that, and I

giggled softly.  "Like being teased, don't you?"

    Emerald grinned down at me and winked.  "Didn't your mother ever

tell you not to talk with your mouth full?"  His fingers scratched

lightly under my chin, and I winked.

    "Mmmm, true," I replied, and before he could do anything I

swallowed his hardness into my mouth.  It felt so totally different,

the fullness making me swoon a bit.  I suckled gently, then let out a

muffled groan as Sapphire's tongue proceeded to work on me from behind.

We kept at it, me using everything I learned from them about how to

please a man, giving Emerald one hell of a blow job while Sapphire's

tongue worked magic on me, making me climax again and again.

    It wasn't long before I felt Emerald groan loudly, and the sudden

salty taste of her jism started to fill my mouth.  I moaned as well,

swallowing the juices as quickly as I could, then just as she finished

up and slipped out of my mouth, I felt Sapphire move behind me, and the

sudden feeling of his hardness sliding into me.

    Just because you had the knowledge of what to expect from both your

lovers, it couldn't prepare you for what >you< would feel for that

first time.  The sensations were incredible, the body sending those

sensations straight into my mind.  Every inch of Sapphire's cock was

transmitted into me, the hardness, the feeling of being spread apart,

the totally wild sensation of being filled within.

    The low, long moan from me signaled my pleasure.  Sapphire began to

slowly rock back and forth, and quickly I learned how to match his

rhythm, using my new muscles to grip him while deep inside, then relax

as he pushed deeper.  Each movement made me feel wonderful, loved,

desired.  The warm feeling inside of me began to burn hotter with each

thrust, his actions becoming stronger.  I was getting close... so very

close... so...

    My hands grabbed a pillow, and I stuffed my face into it, screaming

for all I was worth.  Every part of me shook as I clenched down hard,

wave after wave of pure pleasure washing over my soul.  Both Sapphire

and Emerald stopped their movements, and looked at me with worry in

their eyes.  "Silver?" Sapphire asked me.

    I whipped my head around, hair tangled up.  "If you stop," I

growled, "I'll kill you!  I mean it!"

    Sapphire laughed at that, then started thrusting into me for all I

was worth.  My body shook repeatedly from the impact, and I screamed

again in ecstasy.  Sapphire began to groan, then twitched inside of me

as I felt his orgasm deep inside of me, the warm flow making me lose it

again.  I milked him dry, then we both collapsed onto the bed, moaning

and hugging each other tightly.

    We must have made love a half dozen times that night, first

Sapphire then Emerald taking me and filling me up.  I suckled them

repeatedly back to hardness, more than willing to keep going until our

bodies started tiring, and the tug of sleep was whispering to us all.

We finally collapsed together, their heads resting on my chest as I ran

my fingers through their hair.  I couldn't say a word, just...

    "Good night, lovers."

----------

ANPIMAT - Lessons in Life, Lessons in Love

chapter three

copyright 1997, Tal Greywolf

all rights reserved

for all the lovers in the world