Rejected! Ignored! Made into a social pariah! These thoughts ran through my head as I finished the preparations for my doomsday device. I tried and tried but nobody ever wanted to include me in events or to get stuck to me. Granted, some of this was the alcohol talking, but alcohol is like a truth serum...right?

Anyway, in all the TV episodes and all the internet stories, people getting stuck together was either an accident or the machinations of another. I had been going about it all wrong: why ask when I can simply take? If those fools didn't want to get stuck to me, I would make them, and punish those who would reject me!

Okay, that was definitely the alcohol talking, but it sounded like a good idea so with a maniacal laugh, I inspected the device one last time:

Mad scientists used to terrorize people with weather machines, often making blizzards or storms. Well my device was a variant of the weather machine, but one which caused it to rain large globules of a special clothes-eating adhesive of my own invention. I figured after using this, half the town would be stuck to something or someone. It was brilliant!

With all regrets and caution thrown out the window, I pushed the big red button and ran to the window to enjoy the show.

Outside, Mei, a cute white haired young woman, sat on a park bench, idly kicking her legs. She was going to meet her crush Boo. Today was the day she was going to confess her feelings to him. They had been friends for a while, but she wanted something more and she was incredibly nervous. At last, the apple of her eye, sporting long brown hair and a red plaid shirt, appeared.

"Hi, Mei! It's good to see you again" he said.

"Oh, um...yes it's good to see you too."

She got to thinking: what if he doesn't share her feelings? She didn't want to make things awkward. No, there's no backing out now.

"Hey, Boo?" She said, "Let's get a picture together. Just the two of us."

"That's a great idea!" He replied, and the two of them pressed close together, cheek to cheek, shoulder to shoulder, chest to chest. Such closeness was intoxicating to her.

They were so distracted with their selfies that they didn't notice the unusual beige clouds rapidly form overhead. The other townsfolk began to panic as baseball sized balls of beige goo fell down, one of which fell right between Boo and Mia...

SPLAT!

Before the two could react, their clothes dissolved where the glue touched them with a faint hiss until they felt each other's warm skin on their own. Blushing, the two of them tried to get apart, but everywhere they were touching was now firmly affixed to the other. Boo internally wondered why Mia's cheek was getting warmer. Looking out into the park, more and more blobs fell, sticking more people together. For example, another pair, a man and woman were stuck with the man behind the woman, with her demanding he get his penis out from between her cheeks. A long legged woman was struggling to pull her bare feet out of a glue puddle, which wasn't as weird as the wan with her feet glued to a stranger's face!

Elsewhere, Jello, an average man of stocky build was running for cover already he had seen other people get stuck together in strange ways: one pair of women had their oversized bottoms stuck to one another and were having trouble walking. And speaking of butts, Jello saw one unfortunate pair running when the pretty black woman tripped, causing the skinny white nerd to fall face first into her crack.

Jello was so busy he didn't watch where he was going until a wet slap and the sizzling of clothes told him that he ran into someone. At first, he didn't see anyone but then he looked down to see a little woman, sporting muscles, a bad tan and pigtails. She was buried face first in his stomach, trying desperately to pull off of him.

Within half an hour, the weather cycle was complete and at least half the town was stuck. I laughed triumphantly at my success and was thinking about gloating on the loudspeaker when a thought ruined all my fun:

The weather machine was out of glue, and it would be a while before I could make more, meaning I couldn't run it again. I was inside the whole time.

I still wasn't stuck to anyone.