I knew I should not have done it, but that's what made it so thrilling. In the fief where I live, the noblewoman who rules us had been getting... experimental with making new laws. I guess that was to be expected, since she was young and excited to now be in power, but there was one decree that really caught my attention: on a person's third offense for the same crime, her grace would replace the usual punishment for one of her own choosing. And I have two offenses already.

I like to watch women, especially if they don't know I'm doing it: the nobles call me a voyeur, the commoners call me a peeping Tom, and everyone calls me a creep. What can I say? The thrill of masturbation just isn't the same after you experienced the dangerous thrill of doing it while spying on a woman: it's like going back to unspiced meat after tasting salt for the first time! But I've been caught more than once. Usually, I'm just beaten up by an angry husband, but at least twice, I was taken to the local sheriff who put me in the pillary for three days apiece.

Two offenses...that means the third will be whatever her grace decides. The mystery was tempting, so tempting...but it could be dangerous. And thrilling. My mind was over one with lust as I imagined myself caught and presented before her grace, at the complete mercy of this powerful woman. What would she do to me? Would it be worth it? The inherent danger of what I did was always exciting but this was something else and before the more logical part of my brain could kick in, I was out the door.

For obvious reasons, I was banned from the bath house ages ago, so that was out of the question, but there were other ways to get my kicks even in the middle of the day. First, I went to the inn, such into an empty room and spied through a hole I made in the wall. No dice, there was nobody in there. Leaving the inn, I glanced at the school building. That was one line I never crossed: the teacher was really cute but I didn't want people to think I was looking at her students, the thought of which turned my stomach. Instead, I went to the marketplace. Maybe I could find a nice hiding spot and watch the wives go shopping.

It was a cool, humid day. A storm had chased away the summer heat and everyone was happy to be able to exit their homes again. Looking around, I found my favorite hiding spot: an empty barrel with a knot hole at just about eye level. Actually, it had a few more holes than I remembered: a natural byproduct of exposure, I supposed. Slipping in, I got myself as comfortable as I could, craned my neck down to spy through the hole and gawked to my heart's content.

I remembered the time that someone, not knowing I was in here, placed a heavy crate of what I assumed must have been bricks or iron on top of the barrel. I had to spend all night in there, but it was worth it to see the miller's wife kissing the pastor in the middle of the night. Today was also a lucky day: the librarian was making her monthly voyage outside to resupply on food before returning to her fortress of parchment and leather. She was a round woman, with breasts and a bottom that really benefited from the extra weight. In particular, I really liked the way her bottom extended outward, making her green skirt look like a waterfall as it draped off of her. That, combined with her short sleeved light brown top barely being able to contain her bosom made her a rare but valued treat.

I began to masturbate, knowing that it was dangerous; she was only 14 feet away and the vegetable stall owner she was talking to was even closer. And if I got caught, I'd be humiliated again and possibly brought to the noblewoman. The thought of which made me pump even harder.

"Maybe I should get caught" I thought to myself, "It would be the ultimate adventure, plus I could stare at her grace."

But ultimately, I decided against it, seeing as the danger may not be worth the reward.

Speaking of reward, I was getting mine as the librarian turned to walk away, giving me a fuller view of her butt. Unfortunately, the shop keeper turned around at the same time, facing my barrel. I couldn't stop in time and my "reward" shot out, unfortunately flying through one of the new barrel holes and in full view of the merchant. Now vegetable merchants had these really big, intimidating knives which, besides letting them cut up tough vegetables, acted as really good persuasive tools when it came to convincing me to come with him to the noblewoman.

It was my first time going up the bailey to the castle, and my excitement was fighting with my fear. The inside of the castle was impressive, at least to a peasant like me: the walls, inside and out, were made of wood and the inside walls were painted different cool colors, starting green by the front door and fading through blue to purple on the opposite side of the hall.

The noblewoman, sat upon her throne, was beautiful: she wore a tight blue dress that seemed to hug every part of her hourglass figure. Her skin was a golden tan and her breasts, while not as large as the librarian's, were better formed and still quite sizable. Later, I would wonder what color her hair was.

The merchant explained what I had done and that it was my third offense. She was yelling, but I wasn't listening, only drinking in the upper class sight before me. Just then, the doors flew open again and another merchant, the fat butcher, came in dragging a woman by the arm. A plain looking brunette in a beige dress, she was by no means ugly, but lacked anything to make her stand out, besides the blood and bruises on her knuckles.

"Your grace" he said, "This woman was caught abusing her husband again. Now, this is her third offense of spousal abuse and thankfully, her poor husband has agreed to postpone the divorce until after her sentencing, so as to make it three counts of spousal abuse."

The noblewoman paused here, as if considering the two fine specimens before her: a husband beater and a peeping Tom.

"It is clear to me now," she said, considering her words carefully "that neither of you know how to respect the other sex. We don't want people like you in our city, but it would be improper to simply inflict you two on another one. Not without teaching you how to properly live with the other sex. Therefore, here is my punishment..."

An hour later, a crowd was gathered to see her grace's most recent creative punishment. Never before had the young noblewoman performed two at the same time, but there we were, standing naked by the city gates as the town crier revealed our names and crimes.

"And therefore, in the interest of public safety, these two shall be banished from this fine city, with no worldly possessions save the strong manacles which shall bind the two together. Prisoners, if you please..."

At spear point, we extended our fists, her left and my right, and the shackles were placed on us, binding those wrists together. They were then locked and, to my disappointment, the jailer then pocketed the key, not letting us have it. Before we knew it, we were banished from the city with the gates slamming shut behind us. My new partner, whose name I did not know, began to panic, wondering how we would live. I knew the answer: for the foreseeable future, together.